Zenguru wrote:If it runs in the family, that's a huge red flag right there. The fantasies may just be your way of coping with the frustration you have over these feelings, or the circumstances that create them.
"Working through it" may help short term, but it doesn't help regulate the problem if it shows up again. I recommend talking to a doctor to see if you need to be treated. Make sure your family history with this ailment is discussed also.
If it sounds like I've been there before, I have.
What I have is definitely much milder then what my brother or my mom has. My brother spent a lot of time in wards being treated and my mom's is so bad that she under goes ECT about once every two months.
I've never actually wanted to harm myself and this is the first time I have wanted to harm others just for the hell of it. I am gonna see if I feel the same way tomorrow and then I will proceed.
I think may have just needed to vent a little, it has been one of those days where the stupid just seemed not to end. I feel better just talking about it. Calmer at least.
There have been other signs recently, I have been hard to wake in the morning and less productive at work. Money has been tight with gas and June is especially hard on my wallet with three birthdays in my immediate family and fathers day. It has probably been boiling up for a while and I was just to stressed to notice.