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by **LOLtron** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 2:12 pm

Angry Bloggers Express Outrage Over Superman/Wonder Woman Pairing

Angry bloggers took to the keyboards to express their feelings about the announced relationship.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

DC found itself at the center of a new viral controversy this week when it announced that Superman and Wonder Woman would be engaging in a relationship in the pages of Justice League. DC expected some controversy with the news, especially from bloggers upset that Wonder Woman, the most prominent superheroine in the world, had been reduced to a romantic paramour for another character. However, bloggers surprised the company when bloggers took umbrage for entirely different reasons.

"Superman?!" said prominent fictional nerd blogger Nikki Armada. "If Wonder Woman's going to lower herself to become an object for a man, it would only be for Batman."

Fans across the Internet have expressed outrage that Wonder Woman chose Superman over fellow Trinity member Batman. Many sites quickly pointed out why the two heroes would make a better pair than the Wonder Woman/Superman relationship.

"Batman shares Wonder Woman's warrior spirit," said tumblr user Bruceanddianaforever. "And he does a great job keeping her grounded in a foreign world. Not to mention that black is far, far sexier than Kryptonian battle armor. Besides, Superman probably has weird Kryptonian sex positions that provide no pleasure for women whatsoever. Bunch of alien puritans."

Other fans also pointed out that the "Timm-verse" animated cartoons, long considered the best representation of DC's various characters, also paired up Batman and Wonder Woman, an obvious sign that it was the correct pairing. Greg Rucka, writer of the second-best Wonder Woman run in the last twenty years also hinted at a Batman/Wonder Woman romance.

DC did not know how to react to the controversy. "I had several statements prepared about how DC respects women," said DC head honcho Dan Didio. "But I literally don't know what to say about that."

Didio promised that future issues would help address the controversy. "Superman is every bit Wonder Woman's equal in a romantic relationship. He even knows three different sex positions : missionary, missionary while flying, and missionary in space. I'm sure that Wonder Woman would appreciate that more than some guy with a damaged past and who likes to wear a fetish suit."

However, many DC fans were not convinced. "I've come to terms with DC's inability to see females as anything other than objects of desire," Armada explained. "But for the love of God, have they not read Fifty Shades of Grey? Poorly written male characters with damaged pasts and weird sexual fetishes is what's in right now! It's like they actively want to drive sales away by using female characters as one dimensional sex objects and putting them with characters that aren't even fun to imagine naked. Ugh."

At the end of the day, many fans were skeptical about DC's ability to not screw this up. "Superman and Wonder Woman work much better as friends," said Richard, a surprisingly well adjusted DC Comics fan. "Introducing a poorly thought out relationship just seems stupid and a waste of time."

Note: The above article is satire. All quotes are made up and any resemblences to real people (except for Dan Didio, whom our fictional version looks like exactly) is coincidental.

Written or Contributed by ThanosCopter

READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

by **holtom2000** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 2:55 pm

I prefer ww as a I don't need a man type, but in the new universe which is basically else worlds this doesn't shock me. And since my dc purchases are limited to trades, I could care less

by **Victorian Squid** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:17 pm

So this makes WW like a fish with a bicycle, right? I think I got that right.

by **Punchy** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:26 pm

This new outrage adds a new level of weirdness to this 'comics feminism' fandom, what is so wrong in depicting two equals in a relationship? The old imbalanced Superman/Lois Lane and Wonder Woman/Steve Trevor relationships are a lot more problematic to my mind. The idea that a super-powerful Amazon would be in love with some lame Pilot is a lot worse than her falling for someone else of equal strength, with similar ideals.

These are the two strongest people on the planet, they are a good match.

These fans are seeming less and less like feminists, and more like the usual haters of change, just wrapped up in something a bit more political so they can't be dismissed as the typical fanboys they are.

by **Amoebas** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:34 pm

I didn't read a blog that said that this one woman is going to burn her Wonder Woman underoos in protest.

by **Victorian Squid** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:35 pm

It's just our culture of self-righteous outrage. Whatever DC's strengths or weaknesses, there's a certain audience for whom they could never do anything right.