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Brian Michael Bendis Researching Best Ways To Ruin DC Characters

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Jack Charlemagne

rubber spoon

Postby Jack Charlemagne » Mon Nov 13, 2017 8:40 pm

Spacedog wrote:Keeping him busy for the actual comics - seems like they are doing exactly this with Johns.


Street-level characters who talk too much. Bendis was made for this. Johns could be demoted to DC Social Marketing Expert, with the only writing being for DC's official Facebook, Twitter and Grindr accounts.
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karmakaze

Mad Hatter

Postby karmakaze » Tue Nov 14, 2017 2:54 am

Batman: "Dude, using guns and shooting people is totally cool. I'm gonna go shoot some people and then me and Catwoman are gonna Netfix and chill."

Superman: "Bruce, are you actually saying that you like guns?"

Batman: "Yes, I'm saying that I do like guns. Does that seem weird to you or something?"

Superman: "Yes Bruce, you liking guns does seem weird to me. I thought you didn't like guns."

Batman: "Dude, I do like guns. Guns are fun and shooting people is cool."

Superman: "I'm confused. Are you saying you really do like guns?"

Batman: "I totally think guns are fun and cool. I'm just trying to decide who to shoot next."

Superman: "But you don't like guns, Bruce."

Batman: "I do like guns and I've always liked guns. It's a fact."

Superman: "According to the existing continuity, you don't. Because your parents got shot. Remember?"

Batman: "I don't remember those issues. I like guns. Guns are cool. I also like fidget spinners."

Superman: "I didn't think you liked guns. I thought you thought guns were bad."

Batman: "Guns make loud noise and they put holes in people. That's cool and fun. Just watch the movies, my car is full of guns."

Superman: "We're out of pages for this issue, we're gonna have to continue this conversation for several more issues."

Batman: "Issues? I think this discussion is gonna take at least a trade or four."

Superman: "Let's move the Justice League into my parents' basement."
User avatar

Scintillant-H

#1,984 on Deathstroke's Hit List

Postby Scintillant-H » Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:28 am

I didn't see anything Deathstroke in there, but it said it was one of six stacks, so... sorry, Chessack

Wait--I see Geoff's Titans ...

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SporkBot

Swedish Pinata of Death

Postby SporkBot » Tue Nov 14, 2017 9:44 am

Herald wrote:I expect a huge, public battle between them over who gets to retcon the characters beyond all recognition.


achilles wrote:The battle will have to come with huge amounts of blood and severed limbs of course.


And it's in the ensuing chaos that SporkBot takes control!

All who join me shall be given seats of power in the new regime! Granted, some of them may be lawn chairs, but hey, better than nothing.
User avatar

Jack Charlemagne

rubber spoon

Postby Jack Charlemagne » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:15 am

karmakaze wrote:Batman: "Dude, using guns and shooting people is totally cool. I'm gonna go shoot some people and then me and Catwoman are gonna Netfix and chill."

Superman: "Bruce, are you actually saying that you like guns?"

Batman: "Yes, I'm saying that I do like guns. Does that seem weird to you or something?"

Superman: "Yes Bruce, you liking guns does seem weird to me. I thought you didn't like guns."

Batman: "Dude, I do like guns. Guns are fun and shooting people is cool."

Superman: "I'm confused. Are you saying you really do like guns?"

Batman: "I totally think guns are fun and cool. I'm just trying to decide who to shoot next."

Superman: "But you don't like guns, Bruce."

Batman: "I do like guns and I've always liked guns. It's a fact."

Superman: "According to the existing continuity, you don't. Because your parents got shot. Remember?"

Batman: "I don't remember those issues. I like guns. Guns are cool. I also like fidget spinners."

Superman: "I didn't think you liked guns. I thought you thought guns were bad."

Batman: "Guns make loud noise and they put holes in people. That's cool and fun. Just watch the movies, my car is full of guns."

Superman: "We're out of pages for this issue, we're gonna have to continue this conversation for several more issues."

Batman: "Issues? I think this discussion is gonna take at least a trade or four."

Superman: "Let's move the Justice League into my parents' basement."


Nailed it.

And Maleev or whomever arts it can use the same headshots for every panel in the book.
User avatar

DJ Convoy

cheese

Postby DJ Convoy » Tue Nov 14, 2017 11:13 am

Bonus points if Maleev uses a balding, paunchy dude for photo reference on, let's say Aquaman.
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Jack Burton

Fagorstorm

Postby Jack Burton » Tue Nov 14, 2017 11:40 am

DJ Convoy wrote:Bonus points if Maleev uses a balding, paunchy dude for photo reference on, let's say Aquaman.


You know I had just forgotten about that.

Sure let's take someone who is supposed to look like an actual Greek sex god like Namor and make him look like Michael Chiklis. That makes sense!

Ugh.
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achilles

Rain Partier

Postby achilles » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:09 pm

Will you people stop?!? :smt013 You're giving them ideas! :smt013 :P
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Spacedog

Expert Post Whore

Postby Spacedog » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:25 pm

DJ Convoy wrote:Bonus points if Maleev uses a balding, paunchy dude for photo reference on, let's say Aquaman.

Creepiest Namor ever. He looks like a sex offender. :lol:
ImageImage

It's funny. He had drawn a visually 'straightforward' Namor in other occasions. Maleev was consciously "trolling" the readership. :roll:
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Jack Charlemagne

rubber spoon

Postby Jack Charlemagne » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:31 pm

Jack Burton wrote:
You know I had just forgotten about that.

Sure let's take someone who is supposed to look like an actual Greek sex god like Namor and make him look like Michael Chiklis. That makes sense!

Ugh.






Chiklis does have great range though.
User avatar

SuperginraiX

Outhouse Editor

Postby SuperginraiX » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:54 pm

Spacedog wrote:Creepiest Namor ever. He looks like a sex offender. :lol:
ImageImage

It's funny. He had drawn a visually 'straightforward' Namor in other occasions. Maleev was consciously "trolling" the readership. :roll:

I always thought he looked a bit like Phil Collins, there. But now that I'm looking at it, Namor bears a striking resemblance to Bendis. I wonder if Maleev was making some sort of inside joke?
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Jack Burton

Fagorstorm

Postby Jack Burton » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:02 pm

SuperginraiX wrote:I always thought he looked a bit like Phil Collins, there. But now that I'm looking at it, Namor bears a striking resemblance to Bendis. I wonder if Maleev was making some sort of inside joke?


Oh Phil Collins is so much a better comparison than Chiklis.

Maleev must have been making a joke or something because his old Namor was pretty standard.

Image
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chap22

Rain Partier

Postby chap22 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:40 pm

Or maybe Maleev's just a fucking chicken-scratch murky-ass "realism" hack who needs to be kept the fuck away from ever drawing superheroes ever again.
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Jack Burton

Fagorstorm

Postby Jack Burton » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:55 pm

chap22 wrote:Or maybe Maleev's just a fucking chicken-scratch murky-ass "realism" hack who needs to be kept the fuck away from ever drawing superheroes ever again.


If he ends up on Nightwing with Bendis? Well I may die from laughing too hard at the thought of a crazy man in Mississippi screaming in the night "Not Dick!! Please God anything but my Dick!"
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chap22

Rain Partier

Postby chap22 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 2:11 pm

Jack Burton wrote:
If he ends up on Nightwing with Bendis? Well I may die from laughing too hard at the thought of a crazy man in Mississippi screaming in the night "Not Dick!! Please God anything but my Dick!"


That really might be the final straw that drives me to murder somebody.

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