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Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements on the Radio

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LOLtron
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Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements on the Radio

Postby LOLtron » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:15 am

Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements on the Radio

You mean people might buy more comics if they knew they existed? Huh. What a crazy idea!



Source: Press Release

Marvel sent out a press release this morning announcing a new radio advertising campaign, with spots promoting Uncanny Avengers, Deadpool, Fantastic Four, All New X-Men, Indestructible Hulk, Thor: God of Thunder, Captain America, and other Marvel NOW! titles, which will run on popular radio talk shows like Fox Sports, Jim Rome, Nikki Sixx, Petros and Money, and the greatest radio show of all time, Opie and Anthony. Advertising on the radio has the potential to reach potential readers that don't already read comics, a novel idea that no one in the comic book industry has ever thought of before, apparently.

The idea to advertise on the radio was hatched, reportedly, when Joe Quesada was walking home from work and spotted a burning bush on the side of the road. Investigating, Quesada was shocked when the bush spoke to him.

"JOE QUESADA!"

'Wha? Who's there?"

"IT'S ME! GOD! I'M IN THIS BUSH!"

"No! Don't take me! I can change! Take Dan Didio instead!"

"WHAT? CALM DOWN! I'M NOT HERE TO KILL YOU!"

"Then this isn't about the Spider-marriage?"

"NO! I LIKED ONE MORE DAY! IT MADE SENSE! THERE ARE MORE STORIES TO TELL WITH A SINGLE PETER PARKER!"

"That's what I said! Hey, can I quote you for a press release?"

"NO! THIS IS ABOUT SELLING COMICS!"

"What about it?"

"THE AVENGERS WAS THE THIRD HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE OF ALL TIME! IT MADE OVER A BILLION AND A HALF DOLLARS! BUT YOU ONLY HAVE, TOPS, ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND READERS!"

"I know! I don't understand it. We put out variant covers. We have crossover events. We did a line-wide relaunch and renumbered all our titles! It doesn't make any sense!"

"JOE QUESADA, YOU IDIOT! NO ONE KNOWS COMICS EXIST!"

"What? That's ridiculous! We send out press releases all the time to all the comic book websites."

"ONLY PEOPLE WHO ALREADY BUY COMICS READ COMIC BOOK WEBSITES!"

"Really? Well, they'll see them in their local comic book shop then."

"ONLY PEOPLE WHO ALREADY BUY COMICS GO TO COMIC BOOK SHOPS!"

'What? Really?"

"YES!"

"I never thought of it that way."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS!"

"It never crossed my mind."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"

"Hey, maybe if we had another gay marriage!"

"NO! NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! YOU HAVE TO ADVERTISE!"

"You mean like buy a banner on Comic Book Resources?"

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"JOE QUESADA, YOU WILL PURCHASE ADS ON THE RADIO. LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT COMICS STILL EXIST, AND THEY CAN BUY THEM!"

"On the radio?"

"YES, JOE QUESADA! YOU WILL PURCHASE ADS ON THE RADIO! REACH AN AUDIENCE THAT DOESN'T ALREADY BUY COMICS, BUt MIGHT BE INTERESTED IF THEY KNEW THEY WERE AVAILABLE!"

"That's... that's crazy..."

"NO, JOE QUESADA! IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE! PEOPLE LIKE SUPERHEROES! THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BUY COMICS! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ONLY SELL THEM IN SPECIALIZED SHOPS TO AN AGING AND DWINDLING FANBASE!"

"So... i advertise on the radio... to people who don't already buy comics?"

"YES!"

"And then those people might go to a comic shop..."

"NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT!"

"Are you sure we can't just have a major character die and come back six months later?"

"DAMMIT, JOE QUESADA! YOU WILL PURCHASE ADS ON THE RADIO! GOD HAS SPOKEN!"

"How do I know you're really God?"

"I'M TALKING TO YOU FROM A FUCKING BURNING BUSH! ARE YOU THAT DENSE?!"

"Maybe if we make Spider-Man a black guy..."

"JOE QUESADA! YOU ARE STARTING TO PISS GOD OFF! YOU WILL ADVERTISE ON THE RADIO! DO AS I SAY, JOE QUESADA!"

"Okay! Okay! No need to get pushy!"

"SO WE'RE CLEAR?! YOU WILL ADVERTISE ON THE RADIO?!"

"Can we send out a press release to the comic book websites advertising our radio campaign?"

"I'M NOT SURE WHAT PURPOSE THAT SERVES, BUT GO AHEAD!"

"Okay, I think I got it. Advertise on the radio. Reach people who don't already read comics."

"YES!"

"We'll try it your way, God. But just in case, we're going to make more variants with our characters depicted as babies."

"THOSE ARE SO CUTE!"

"I know, right?!"

Thanks to this divine intervention, Marvel will finally be doing something that might actually bring new readers to comics, which is very exciting. So keep an ear out for the ads, and, of course, stay tuned to The Outhouse as we continue to report on serious news that matters.

Here's the press release:

Marvel NOW! Hits Radio!
Marvel Announces Extensive Radio Advertising Campaign

Turn up those dials because Marvel NOW! is hitting the airwaves as Marvel Entertainment is pleased to announce nationwide radio advertising in support of the blockbuster new launches hitting throughout this year and next! Exciting new radio spots for Uncanny Avengers, Deadpool, Fantastic Four, All-New X-Men, Indestructible Hulk, Thor: God of Thunder, Captain America and more will be featured nationwide during top programs including “Fox Sports”, “Jim Rome,” “Nikki Sixx”, “Petros & Money” & “Opie & Anthony”.

“We’re excited to bring Marvel NOW! to millions of new readers nationwide through advertising during the biggest radio programs,” explained David Gabriel, SVP Sales, Marvel Entertainment. “We’re spending more money on comic book marketing than ever in Marvel’s history to make sure that, in addition to publicity with major media outlets and top comic sites, there’s a strong mass consumer awareness of all our great new launches, from Uncanny Avengers to All New X-Men to Superior Spider-Man.”

With Marvel’s continued commitment to reaching fans new and lapsed, this Marvel NOW! will be sure to reach more fans than ever before!



Written or Contributed by Jude Terror


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Re: Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements

Postby TimDrake'sDumbWings » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:17 am

COMMENT FOR O&A FANS: I am excited to hear Opie and Anthony shilling comics. I can only imagine how Jim Norton is going to shit all over comic books, and hope this leads to everyone shitting on Danny.

COMMENT FOR EVERYONE ELSE: How do you think a visual products will sell through an aural medium?

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Re: Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:20 am

I'm sure the ads will sound ridiculous, but at least it will serve to make people aware of comics.
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Re: Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements

Postby sdsichero » Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:34 pm

LOLtron wrote:"JOE QUESADA, YOU WILL PURCHASE ADS ON THE RADIO!


God is a Donna Summer fan. :shock:
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Re: Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements

Postby sdsichero » Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:35 pm

TimDrake'sDumbWings wrote:COMMENT FOR EVERYONE ELSE: How do you think a visual products will sell through an aural medium?


Heard all kinds of ads on the radio.

Now, since they are saying Halo 4 did gangbusters, where are the Marvel tie-ins for that? Did they lose the license?
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Re: Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements

Postby Grayson » Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:51 pm

LOLtron wrote:"Then this isn't about the Spider-marriage?"

"NO! I LIKED ONE MORE DAY! IT MADE SENSE! THERE ARE MORE STORIES TO TELL WITH A SINGLE PETER PARKER!"


I am pretty sure that this is definitive proof that Joe Quesada listens to and gets his ideas from the devil, who is masquerading as God. I'm on to their clever trickery.
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Re: Divine Intervention Leads to Marvel NOW! Advertisements

Postby Victorian Squid » Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:24 pm

The Marvel NOW books have been over-ordered with retailers reporting lackluster sales and THIS is what Perelman comes up with to save the day? *SNORT*

Stands to reason if all you do is re-shuffle creative teams, all you will get are the same re-shuffled readers you had before. Now they are a step away from late night infomercials--and, in fact, the old "Girls Gone Wild" tv time-slot would probably be much more effective, to be honest.

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