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LOLtron

Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Sat Nov 03, 2018 1:00 am

An event comic written by Bendis moves at a faster pace than this one.




 

*To those who do not know what they're about to read. Well, here's your warning. The following is just Zechs being Zechs. Grammatical errors are bound to happen you down three bottles of This Ain't Your Dad's Root Beer or several soft drinks mixed with Captain Morgan trying to comprehend the garbage you read.

Further, these reviews began on the forums. Those looking for a numerical system as per my other reviews best look else. Some folk above me love me blurting out raw brutally honest shit, and rather have that be on the front page. So there. You've been warned. Anything now is on your head for not following the warning. 

If you so wish and recommend me some horrific comics for October if you join our Patreon. After all, someone's gotta pay for my drinking tab.

 

 

You know I really shouldn't. I should stop. I absolutely hated the first issue. Why would my opinion be any different on the second? But this is THE the other event comic going on at DC Comics. There is no looking away from it when you buy a DC Comic because a few weeks later the spoilers for the first issue are all over the back part of their comics (seems like an almost counter reset for anyone who is actively trying to avoid the damn comic is left in peace. Not see the damn thing we don't want to read at the back end. Give us a freaking courtesy! Not all your readers want to even be reminded of this comic!

So I guess this is my reasoning for this look at the deeper goings-on. Wait really, there isn't anything going on. This comic is moving at a goddamn snail's pace. When Identity Crisis, the event you're supposed to be in the shadow of did a better job making you care for those who died and moving the plot along, you're in for a rough ride. 

So... for some odd reason, the Trinity decide to keep mum on the whole massacre thing that happened in the first issue-- because? They're acting like idiots? No seriously, they really are idiots in this comics because the plot demands they be as such. Like writer Tom King decided to take every bad angle a DC event comic had and decided to compound it. But on the bright side, at least King spends a line of dialogue to clean up a plot hole in #1. I guess #3 will deal with all the plot holes of this issue. So on and so forth with every other issue. 

Oh, sure this comic is trying to be the thinking comic, and just utterly fails at it. The thing that gets me the most is the Superman confession in this issue. Like literally, when Kill Bill Vol. 2 does a better monologue on this topic (and even if said  monologue is wrong): 

 

The fact it does a better job explaining Superman better than the actual official comic that is featuring Superman... Yeah. Um... Good job?

Oh, and let's talk about Batman's confession too while we're at it. So basically, Batman's whole confession in this issue kind of makes himself a hypocrite on the current plight going on with Nightwing. As for Wonder Woman's. I just started to bang my head on the table and told myself to stop looking for the flaws at this point and just keep going on ahead. 

If that isn't enough, we then get King's other Batman subplot rearing its head in this comic. Goddamit! This whole damn event comic is just another notch of this stupid plan, isn't it? 

But I'm not gonna knock at all of the return of Harley returning to her classic outfit. I get the point King is coming across here with the character. This is her "villain" outfit and she's playing "the villain".  Yet how she manages to outwit and outplay two titans who are leagues above her-- I got nothing still. Just an open gaping mouth left open as to why Superman and Wonder Woman just stood there.  Well, I guess cause the plot demanded they be idiots. 

But if there's a bright sign to the ignorance of this comic it's ignoring whatever the hell is going on currently in the Superman comics. So there's that going for it. I guess. Maybe? 

Seriously, this comic is as flawed as my grammatical errors and when I pick up on the errors. Well, you're a bad comic and even if you have Clay Mann to gorgeously draw your comic (Hnnngh this comic is so gorgeous to look at even when the writing is so bad). It still ain't gonna change this comic's plot is garbage no matter how pretty you dress it up. 

Then there's the elephant in the room I haven't even spoken of yet from this issue. So we get another revelation of another character having died in the previous issue. One near and dear to one character who is still among the living's hearts. Oh, sure there's no body shown. But given the final page and the dialogue prior to the deaths mentioned. Yep. That character is a goner (for maybe a year I give). 

The thing is though, I'm beginning to think that given how shitty this comic is. A part of me thinks that this character will be revealed to be the "true murderer" and manipulated everyone into murdering each other. Of course, this TWIST comes with the other TWIST that this was all part of a certain keikaku. So there's barely any true ending to this comic and we'll have to pick up the finale to King's Batman to get any finality at all with this comic. 

 

....

 

FUCK! 

 

I hope I'm wrong. I really do. But that's where I see this comic going. Someone who is dead, ain't and they're the real killer. But there will be some false sort of reveal that this will all tie into said keikaku of that other Batman plot to make our heads' ache even more.

Also suddenly it occurs to me why just the Trinity are the main guardians of Sanctuary? You think given  Hal Jordan kind had a mental breakdown that HE would be a better suited to be watching over this place? No, wait. I'm making a better more sensible plot. Which is what this comic ain't. 

So yeah, this comic continues down the path toward infamy than fondness. Unless a miracle occurs. Hey maybe we can just go the Dallas route and this can all be just a bad dream? Right. It's only a dream. No wait, IT'S NOT. Eh, con season next year should be fun with DC having to spin this mess of a comic. Cause when the comic it's supposed to be "homaging" did a better job of mystery and the loss of death in it's the second issue. Yeah...  We're dealing with the possibility this comic might be a flaming turd of garbage that might have to be put out sooner whenever DC decides to go back to basics.. again (so two more years from now?).



Written or Contributed by Zechs


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
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Amoebas

Son of Stein

Postby Amoebas » Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:20 am

LOLtron wrote:But if there's a bright sign to the ignorance of this comic it's ignoring whatever the hell is going on currently in the Superman comics. So there's that going for it.

That alone should make the book a 10 outa 10 "Baby".
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Sat Nov 03, 2018 11:19 am

Amoebas wrote:That alone should make the book a 10 outa 10 "Baby".


The thought occurred to me that it should, but then King's ignoring his own continuity right now-- so it subtracted itself out.
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chap22

Rain Partier

Postby chap22 » Sat Nov 03, 2018 5:53 pm

My review:

Unreadable shit sandwich. Total fucking garbage comic other than the art. I'm out.
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Juan Cena

DANG!

Postby Juan Cena » Sat Nov 03, 2018 8:11 pm

Luckily, Geoff Johns will do what Geoff Johns likes to do and make this story go away with whatever he's planning to do over on Doomsday Clock.
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HNutz

Rain Partier

Postby HNutz » Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:35 pm

Do I really want spoilers?
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:11 am

HNutz wrote:Do I really want spoilers?


You know you do.
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LiamA

cheese

Postby LiamA » Sun Nov 04, 2018 6:20 am

Try and read the story as taking place outside of the continuity.
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achilles

Rain Partier

Postby achilles » Sun Nov 04, 2018 10:09 am

Juan Cena wrote:Luckily, Geoff Johns will do what Geoff Johns likes to do and make this story go away with whatever he's planning to do over on Doomsday Clock.


So....what you're saying is that Geoff Johns is actually James Cameron, and is diving deep into the Marianas Trench to find and raise the bar???? :shock:

That must be why we've never seen the two together! :shock:
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achilles

Rain Partier

Postby achilles » Sun Nov 04, 2018 10:15 am

LiamA wrote:Try and read the story as taking place outside of the continuity.


It probably should have been presented as such, or better still, never done at all. That was why Elseworlds used to exist. I think King just fell in love with himself as creative types tend to do, (see George Lucas and countless others), and lost the ability to judge his own work. Meanwhile, he was enabled by editors and others at DC who wanted to tell "relevant" stories, forgetting that the first rule of storytelling in ANY form it to tell GOOD stories, and the priority with comics is to tell entertaining good stories, not socially relevant ones.

Problem is, the whole point was made that this IS in continuity.
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:01 pm

LiamA wrote:Try and read the story as taking place outside of the continuity.


You can't when this story was BUILT IN CONTINUITY. This stories very foundations are built in the Flash and Batman. But-- everything just rings hollow. You just can't care for something where there's nothing there at all.

The fact that the next issue. THE NEXT ISSUE is a flashback that takes place to show us how Santucary works is insane. So we're going to have to care NOW at this point of all the loss shown after we're barely given time to care save for two. TWO people who've died.

This comic blows. It's obvious that this story was something simplistic until Didio saw the potential for DARKNESS AND GRIM then decided to okay it only if it was done this way.
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:16 pm

HNutz wrote:Do I really want spoilers?


Fuck it. I'll save you the trouble.

Harley goes to Penguin looking for a place to hide out and let the events blow over. Penguin accepts and sends her to a safe house where suddenly she has her old costume on again because she knows she's the "villain" everyone is looking for. Might as well as dress for the part.

The Trinity discuss keeping this "hush hush" while also talking about how this could have all gone wrong while Batman performs an autopsy on Citizen Steel.

Skeets finds Booster and fixes him up. Booster then decides sanely that the only way to clear his name is to prove that Harley did the murders and enlists Flash for help. Thing is though Barry doesn't know shit given the Trinity not telling anyone and freaks the fuck out the moment Booster tells him Wally is dead and starts to beat the shit out of Booster.

The Trinity find Harley thanks to Penguin ratting her out. Somehow she snags Wonder Woman's lasso of truth from Diana then backflips to wrap Batman in it. Superman and Wonder Woman tell her she can't escape, and Harley uses the lasso to make Batsy confess he has kryptonite in his belt, which Harley then uses as a flashbang somehow.

Disables Superman enough for her to go out the way they came in. Wonder Woman just stands there the entire time not doing a single thing to Harley. Cause-- the plot demanded Diana be stupid.

So just as the Trinity decide their next move on continuing their hunt of Harley, Superman notices Flash beating the shit out of Booster and now knowing that Wally is dead. They take leave to stop the fight.

So during all this we get Poison Ivy, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman's videos. Ivy's you see in the preview. Batman confesses that everyone he teaches ends up dead and yet doesn't mention the fact at all that somehow they also come back? Or the fact that he shouldn't leave his sons in mortal danger. You know.. what he's currently doing in the Batman comics neglecting Dick from getting help. Wonder Woman confesses she caught her mom in an awkward moment with someone. Superman confesses he doesn't know who he is. Is he Clark Kent or is he Ka-El? He was raised to be Clark, but suddenly he finds out he's another person. Who is he? *rolls eyes*

So the comic ends with Harley on a bridge throwing a rose into the water below. Basically confirming that Poison Ivy died at Sanctuary and she's sorry she brought Pam to the awful place.

BUT WAIT!! Someone has sent to the Daily Planet video of the Arsenal's confession and promises more will be leaked out and they're calling themselves, "THE PUDDLER."

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:
User avatar

Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:19 pm

chap22 wrote:My review:

Unreadable shit sandwich. Total fucking garbage comic other than the art. I'm out.


I wouldn't say unreadable. Just a shit sandwich of someone who clearly thinks they're smart but really it truly isn't. When Identity Crisis sets up a better mystery and made you care for the victim. Then again... that comic gave us Dr. Light, the mindwipes, and the beginning rape of the JLI. What will HiC give us? Probably not Ecto-Cooler.
User avatar

HNutz

Rain Partier

Postby HNutz » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:42 pm

Zechs wrote:
Fuck it. I'll save you the trouble.

Harley goes to Penguin looking for a place to hide out and let the events blow over. Penguin accepts and sends her to a safe house where suddenly she has her old costume on again because she knows she's the "villain" everyone is looking for. Might as well as dress for the part.


Okay...

The Trinity discuss keeping this "hush hush" while also talking about how this could have all gone wrong while Batman performs an autopsy on Citizen Steel.


What the fuck? Why not someone like, say, Doctor Mid-Nite?

Skeets finds Booster and fixes him up. Booster then decides sanely that the only way to clear his name is to prove that Harley did the murders and enlists Flash for help. Thing is though Barry doesn't know shit given the Trinity not telling anyone and freaks the fuck out the moment Booster tells him Wally is dead and starts to beat the shit out of Booster.


So he should be dead now, right?

The Trinity find Harley thanks to Penguin ratting her out. Somehow she snags Wonder Woman's lasso of truth from Diana then backflips to wrap Batman in it. Superman and Wonder Woman tell her she can't escape, and Harley uses the lasso to make Batsy confess he has kryptonite in his belt, which Harley then uses as a flashbang somehow.


...huh? She's MacGyver now?

Disables Superman enough for her to go out the way they came in. Wonder Woman just stands there the entire time not doing a single thing to Harley. Cause-- the plot demanded Diana be stupid.


Yeah, 'cause she's a rookie now, right? :?

So just as the Trinity decide their next move on continuing their hunt of Harley, Superman notices Flash beating the shit out of Booster and now knowing that Wally is dead. They take leave to stop the fight.


Should be a pretty damn one sided "fight".

Honestly, he could be dead by the time that "fight" was noticed.

So during all this we get Poison Ivy, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman's videos. Ivy's you see in the preview. Batman confesses that everyone he teaches ends up dead and yet doesn't mention the fact at all that somehow they also come back? Or the fact that he shouldn't leave his sons in mortal danger. You know.. what he's currently doing in the Batman comics neglecting Dick from getting help. Wonder Woman confesses she caught her mom in an awkward moment with someone. Superman confesses he doesn't know who he is. Is he Clark Kent or is he Ka-El? He was raised to be Clark, but suddenly he finds out he's another person. Who is he? *rolls eyes*


One of these things is not like the others...

So the comic ends with Harley on a bridge throwing a rose into the water below. Basically confirming that Poison Ivy died at Sanctuary and she's sorry she brought Pam to the awful place.


Huh.

So that's to explain the inevitable Heel turn?

BUT WAIT!! Someone has sent to the Daily Planet video of the Arsenal's confession and promises more will be leaked out and they're calling themselves, "THE PUDDLER."


What did HE confess to?

Also... The Puddler? Did someone have a bed wetting issue or something?

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:


Yeah, I hear ya.
User avatar

Rebirth NoctourneM

Rain Partier

Postby Rebirth NoctourneM » Sun Nov 04, 2018 8:15 pm

Zechs wrote:
Fuck it. I'll save you the trouble.

Harley goes to Penguin looking for a place to hide out and let the events blow over. Penguin accepts and sends her to a safe house where suddenly she has her old costume on again because she knows she's the "villain" everyone is looking for. Might as well as dress for the part.

The Trinity discuss keeping this "hush hush" while also talking about how this could have all gone wrong while Batman performs an autopsy on Citizen Steel.

Skeets finds Booster and fixes him up. Booster then decides sanely that the only way to clear his name is to prove that Harley did the murders and enlists Flash for help. Thing is though Barry doesn't know shit given the Trinity not telling anyone and freaks the fuck out the moment Booster tells him Wally is dead and starts to beat the shit out of Booster.

The Trinity find Harley thanks to Penguin ratting her out. Somehow she snags Wonder Woman's lasso of truth from Diana then backflips to wrap Batman in it. Superman and Wonder Woman tell her she can't escape, and Harley uses the lasso to make Batsy confess he has kryptonite in his belt, which Harley then uses as a flashbang somehow.

Disables Superman enough for her to go out the way they came in. Wonder Woman just stands there the entire time not doing a single thing to Harley. Cause-- the plot demanded Diana be stupid.

So just as the Trinity decide their next move on continuing their hunt of Harley, Superman notices Flash beating the shit out of Booster and now knowing that Wally is dead. They take leave to stop the fight.

So during all this we get Poison Ivy, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman's videos. Ivy's you see in the preview. Batman confesses that everyone he teaches ends up dead and yet doesn't mention the fact at all that somehow they also come back? Or the fact that he shouldn't leave his sons in mortal danger. You know.. what he's currently doing in the Batman comics neglecting Dick from getting help. Wonder Woman confesses she caught her mom in an awkward moment with someone. Superman confesses he doesn't know who he is. Is he Clark Kent or is he Ka-El? He was raised to be Clark, but suddenly he finds out he's another person. Who is he? *rolls eyes*

So the comic ends with Harley on a bridge throwing a rose into the water below. Basically confirming that Poison Ivy died at Sanctuary and she's sorry she brought Pam to the awful place.

BUT WAIT!! Someone has sent to the Daily Planet video of the Arsenal's confession and promises more will be leaked out and they're calling themselves, "THE PUDDLER."

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:


TLDR, No Ponies

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