Well, you're right that they are crossing them all over.
The movies come out like once a year. So it's not that big of a deal. And there are a total of four or so movie "franchises" (equal to comic titles) - Iron Man, Thor, Cap, and Avengers. So it is not a big deal to stay on track with them. Also, most of the movies are relatively stand-alone. Yes there are cameos, guest appearances, and references to the other movies. But... you don't have to watch Thor, and then Cap, and then Avengers, to get the story. They are three different movies, with guest appearances and references to each other. If the movies were being done like, say, Trinity War, then Iron Man would have been part 1 of a story, Thor part 2, Cap part 3, Iron Man 2 part 4, and Avengers part 5. That is not really what happened. Each movie has its own story that is part of the same universe as the others. But the Thor story, and the Cap one, are entirely self-contained in terms of their plots (the story starts, climaxes, and resolves, within the individual movie).
The other thing that's different is the cost. Movies cost, what, the price of two or three comic books total? And you pay the cost once a year, or so, since they don't come out that fast. And Agents of Shield is free (you may pay for cable, but not for the show itself, at least not directly). If you add up how much DC expected you to spend on even a relatively small event like H'el (13 total issues for about $44), it's the cost of several movies (depending on where you are it will vary). If we take the national average for movie costs, which last I checked was around $9, you could see five movies and the entire SHIELD TV show for as many seasons as it runs, for the same price as the H'el arc.
So the movies are not demanding the level of commitment and expense that a crossover does. And that is a big part of why people seem not to mind.
In a way the movies are like the "crossovers" in the old, pre-Crisis, pre-Secret Wars style. Back before the mid-80s, a "crossover" was usually just a guest appearance by one character into the series of another, such as if Superman appears in the Batman series. The characters may make reference to past encounters, but you don't need to have read those to understand this month's issue. And you don't need to buy anything else to understand this story. The movies are more like that, than like the current set of crossovers that have been put out by the Big Two.