In a new photograph on DC's website, Grant Morrison causes a pen to levitate, finally proving, without a doubt, the existence of magick.
Source: ThanosCopter Newswire
Sorcery and comic book writing have long gone hand-in-hand, with many notable writers, such as esteemed Watchmen scribe Alan Moore, having admitted to being practitioners of witchcraft. Until now, this wizardry has been mostly regarded as eccentricity, but with the revelation that Grant Morrison can indeed cause a pen to levitate, skeptics have no choice but to cede defeat. The proof is in a photograph, embedded below, which shows Morrison causing a pen to levitate between his hands.
"Motherfucker can levitate shit," said notable skeptic Samuel L. Jackson. "No one can say that whack shit ain't real now."
Despite his conversion to believer, Jackson still expressed a distaste for "bald motherfuckin' whiteys who smirk in photographs."
When asked how he was able to use the dark arts, Morrison said either "It was a photography trick, stupid," or, "I ate the heart of an orphan child," in his thick Scottish brogue. Although we're fairly certain it's the former, there was still a 2000% uptick in adoption filings after Morrison made his comment.
Fearing that their competitors might now possess a tactical advantage, Marvel Comics immediately began looking into whether any of their stranger writers have any latent magickal talent. "We're hoping that we can somehow replicate the formula that gave Grant Morrison these unique powers," said Joe Quesada, proving he has learned absolutely nothing from Marvel's own comics. "What could go wrong?"
When reached for comment, the pen was unable to recall the specific events that led to it being used in Morrison's trickery. "Hmm, I do seem to remember him broaching the subject of showing off his talent for the dark arts," explained the ballpoint. "But the rest of it is pretty hazy. That's Grant for you."
Oh, Grant Morrison!
Written or Contributed by Jude Terror
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