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DC Reboots The Reboot…Screw It, Boobs!

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LOLtron

Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:20 pm

DC Reboots The Reboot…Screw It, Boobs!

They’re baaaaaack!



Source: EXCLUSIVE: DC COMICS' JUSTICE LEAGUE SOLICITATIONS FOR MAY 2013

There were many changes to what we had all come to know and loath about DC with the launch of the New 52.  Of course, comic fans being what we are, all of those changes pissed us of almost as much as the pre-New 52 DC Universe was upsetting us on a monthly basis.  But none of the changes garnered the level of vitriol and hate as the changes made to the favorite characters of pervs everywhere.

The disappearance of Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain left a hole in the social calendars of such a large number of fanboys that the industry was in danger of being blamed for single-handedly raining economic destruction on the snack cake and soda industries.  On top of that, the formerly easy to catch up to Barbra Gordon now had the ability to run away from creeps who just wanted to touch her hair.  These sad individuals were left with only one option: going outside to see a real life female.

Well, man-children fret no more; Power Girl’s boob window is back! According to inside sources we didn’t even bother to come up with funny names for, DC higher-ups were depressed to learn that the Time Warner company would no longer be insuring Cialas or Viagra and desperately searched for a way they could “inspire” themselves without having to spend more than their co-pay used to be.

On top if the insurance issues, word from the New 52 is that Huntress and other female characters pulled Kara aside for a chat about her breast hygiene, stating that without the window her Kryptonian boobs were sweating too much and the stench was not only making it impossible for them to sneak up on bad guys, but was also pretty gross.  After one locker room encounter, a formerly crippled redheaded heroine (who only agreed to talk off the record) told us:

It was getting to the point that no one wanted to team up with her for fear the sweat smells would permeate their costumes.  Even noted womanizers like Oliver Queen and Booster Gold wanted nothing to do with Kara’s sisters due to the WMD levels of toxic waste coming out of her pores.  I don’t know if it’s an issue with her alien DNA or just a matter of 3D’s having the equivalent of arm pits, but something had to be done.


Whether it’s to help aging white collar types earn their mistresses, a matter of air pollution, or a combination of the two, basement dwelling troglodytes can breathe easy (with the help of their inhalers) knowing that soon they will have their window into Power Girl’s soul back.

One more thing, this writer often sends articles off to his wife before publishing (the ones I don’t are the ones that have the most spelling mistakes) and all she replied with this time was:

Very good, no notes here.  The only remaining mystery is why she needs long sleeves, a turtleneck, and gloves, but no pants.


Well, the answer to that, dear wife, is "BOOBS!”

Buy World's Finest #12, you know, for the tits.



Written or Contributed by GHERU


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
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Herald

Regular-Sized Poster

Postby Herald » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:41 pm

LOLtron wrote:One more thing, this writer often sends articles off to his wife before publishing (the ones I don’t are the ones that have the most spelling mistakes) and all she replied with this time was: Very good, no notes here.


She missed one:

"On top of that, the formally easy to catch up to Barbra Gordon now had the ability to run away from creeps who just wanted to touch her hair."

"Formerly," not "formally."
*clicks jackboots* :wink:
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GHERU

Rain Partier

Postby GHERU » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:42 pm

hey, if thats the worst that slipped through, I consider it a win
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sdsichero

2k11 Outhouse People's Champion

Postby sdsichero » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:43 pm

We members of Fans Appreciate Powergirl are appeased.

I'll be back in a few minutes...
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LoganRSA

penile prisoner

Postby LoganRSA » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:43 pm

Thanks, RU. You managed to make PG's tits repulsive. Nicely done.
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Amoebas

Son of Stein

Postby Amoebas » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:46 pm

Ryan Sook is so damn good!
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Grayson

Outhouse Drafter

Postby Grayson » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:48 pm

Good, hopefully this is a permanent change. Window or no window, this Power Girl costume is more iconic and better looking than what she has been stuck wearing since the relaunch. Although, with her wearing a Supergirl costume on an upcoming issue of Supergirl and then her wearing her iconic costume on this cover, I am curious if there isn't something more going on with the character than just a simple wardrobe change.
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GHERU

Rain Partier

Postby GHERU » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:48 pm

Log-Man wrote:Thanks, RU. You managed to make PG's tits repulsive. Nicely done.

I live to please
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Lord Ice

Motherfucker from Hell

Postby Lord Ice » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:56 pm

And mothers everywhere will now complain that they just got their sons' rooms in the basement clean.
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:59 pm

Grayson wrote:Good, hopefully this is a permanent change. Window or no window, this Power Girl costume is more iconic and better looking than what she has been stuck wearing since the relaunch. Although, with her wearing a Supergirl costume on an upcoming issue of Supergirl and then her wearing her iconic costume on this cover, I am curious if there isn't something more going on with the character than just a simple wardrobe change.


She's gonna be Stormwatched aka old good version replaces new crappy 52 version.
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sdsichero

2k11 Outhouse People's Champion

Postby sdsichero » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:00 pm

How much are those doggies in the window?
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Grayson

Outhouse Drafter

Postby Grayson » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:12 pm

Zechs wrote:She's gonna be Stormwatched aka old good version replaces new crappy 52 version.


Well, that is certainly what this image seems to imply but is that confirmed fact or misdirection?
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holtom2000

dINGO

Postby holtom2000 » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:43 pm

now bring back real Booster and have Superman ditch the wuss armour
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fieldy snuts

Rain Partier

Postby fieldy snuts » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:56 pm

So.....

If the dredge up the old continuity again then wi they still consider it 'new reader accessible'?
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Draco x

biny little tird

Postby Draco x » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:58 pm

What's not to like about PG's boobs? Wars and fights were started because of them.

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