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To understand just what you're dealing with, an article from the Telegraph UK revealing half of all Brits have been injured by biscuits. The results are telling--for instance, 3% of these were injured by poking themselves in the eye with their cookie. Or the odd 7% who have been attacked by pets or wild animals while considering their cookie choices.
Published: 7:00AM BST 08 Sep 2009
An estimated 25 million adults have been injured while eating during a tea or coffee break - with at least 500 landing themselves in hospital, the survey revealed.
The custard cream biscuit was found to be the worse offender to innocent drinkers.
It beat the cookie to top a table of 15 generic types of biccy whose potential dangers were calculated by The Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation.
Hidden dangers included flying fragments and being hurt while dunking in scalding tea through to the more strange such as people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit or fallen off a chair reaching for the tin.
One man even ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit.
Custard creams get a risk rating of 5.63, the highest of all.
This compared to 1.16 for Jaffa cakes, which was the safest biscuit of all in the evaluation.
Research company Mindlab International were commissioned by Rocky, a chocolate biscuit bar, to conduct the research.
It found almost a third of adults said they had been splashed or scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish the remnants of a collapsed digestive.
It also revealed 28 per cent had choked on crumbs while one in 10 had broken a tooth or filling biting a biscuit.
More unusually, three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and seven per cent bitten by a pet or "other wild animal" trying to get their biscuit.
Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis said: "We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as 'dunkability' and crumb dispersal.
Mike Driver, Marketing Director for Rocky said: "We commissioned this study after learning how many biscuit related injuries are treated by doctors each year."
I won't even guess if that was Punchy or Jubiligglet in bold!