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[******]

Big surprise coming from a Twilight fan like you!

Geez bookstore guy, you can't tell the difference between True Blood and Twilight?

[******]

G.I. Joe Origins #12
by Marc Andreyko and Ben Templesmith

First off, a round of applause for whoever at IDW came up with this creative team when they decided to do a Baroness issue of Origins. This was destined for win before there was ever a script written or a page drawn.

Obviously with a series titled Origins, it's going to be an origin story. I'm not sure I've read a Baroness origin before, at least if I have it's been so long ago that I've forgotten it, but this was pretty much what you'd expect. No big swerves or anything, just a straightforward examination of the character that gives Ben Templesmith the room to do that thing that he does because that's really what I paying my money for when I buy a Ben Templesmith comic.

Ben Templesmith has been one of my favorite artists since I first saw his work on Fell. He has a unique style and look all his own and it's not really something you would expect to ever see in a G.I. Joe book, but it works perfectly in this story. When I think of Templesmith's art I tend to think of vampires and monsters and corpses, not typically sexy stuff, but his Baroness is sexy which she has to be otherwise she's not the Baroness.

This was a good solid read with great art and a stand alone issue to boot. You don't have to be a G.I. Joe fan to enjoy it, you just have to like good comic books.

Story: 7
Art: 10
Overall: 9

[john lewis hawk]

Hawk Reviews Every DC Book Out There... Even Though He didn't Actually Read Them:

The Authority #19 - 10
Batman Confidential #41 - 9
Blackest Night: Wonder Woman - 8
Cartoon Network Action Pack #46 - 7
Cinderella From Fabletown With Love #4 - 6
Demo #1 - 5
Doom Patrol #7 - 4
Great Ten #4 - 3
Greek Street #8 - 2
House of Mystery #22 - 1
Jonah Hex #52 - 2
Justice Society Of America Annual #2 - 3
Looney Tunes #183 - 4
Question #37 - 5
Red Robin #9 - 6
Red Tornado #6 - 7
Scalped #34 - 8
Superman World Of New Krypton #12 - 9
Sweet Tooth #6 - 10
Warlord #11 - 1

[Chubbles]

Siege 2

Wow. This is a seriously awesome event so far. The set up, the different plot threads dangling along, the DEATH, the comeback of steve...just wow. This really does feel like the final 15 minutes of a movie that's been leading up to some crazy shit and now we have the payoff. I love reading independant books, i love books with no superheroes, i love zombie stories...but none of them can get me as excited as a Marvel Universe book done right. The pacing was frantic, just like any war should be, the exchange between Bucky and Steve was done well, I liked that Thor, although outnumbered and overpowered at the time is still fighting the good fight. I especially loved the last page with Steve shield getting bigger and bigger in the reflection, I totally marked the fuck out at seeing that. Bendis is reminding me why i love comics and why this is a hobby i doubt i'll ever be able to give up willingly.

The art was fantastic, the death scene was as gory and brutal as you could imagine. Coipel's rendition of Thor is the greatest thing ever. i wish this guy would get the copyrights for thor and only he would be allowed to draw him ever again, it's that fucking cool. I won't even call him the sentry anymore bc it's pretty clear he's the Void now. I don't remember the last time I've wanted someone to get their ass kicked so hard than I do now after seeing what he did. I want issue three to be an all out brawl between Thor and the Void with Thor obviously getting the victory. The Void may be uber powerful but Thor ain't no slouch himself. I also want issue four to be the avengers finally disposing the dark avengers and osborn getting his due payback at the hands of steve.

And finally, Ares over the past few years has become a favorite character of mine and I know he'll be back at some point but I will miss the guy for the time being. I am really interested to see how this will effect phobos going forward but I think he's gonna become the new badass of the MU.

Story 9
Art 9

+1 bonus for making me mark out so hard during the last page

Overall 10!

[thefourthman]

Marvel Heart Breakers

“A Chemical Romance”
Written by Kathryn Immonen
Art by Elena Casagrande

Unfortunately, this is the best offering here.

Immonen gets the characters (although, to be honest, I am only familiar with Gwen through the Death of the Stacys - was she a genius?) And she writes them well. Too bad that this is an episode of Suite Life on Deck guest Starring Spidey.

Also, this is out of place in this anthology, because Peter is the center of attention not the girls.

The art is interesting it is like Lafuente combined with Yu. The chins are hella weird though.

Story - 6
Art - 4


“Super Boys”
Written by Rick Spears
Art by James Callahan

Well this one starts off awesome cause it stars Boom Boom and Elsa Bloodstone. GOD I MISS NEXTWAVE!!!! There is a clever fourth wall joke and then it turns into a string of newspaper funny pages gags. Yuck.

The art morphs for the Gags, which is cool. Too bad the designs are all fugly.

Story - 3
Art - 4

“Beauty and the Beast: An Epilogue”
Written by James McCann
Art by the Lopezes

Wow. The only thing worse than soap operatic melodrama is soap operatic melodrama with missing dialogue. Add the Beast and Dazzler and put them on a date and well, I could give two shits, is what could happen!

The art is the best part and it is ugly, but it conveys the romantic story a million times better than the sappy writing!

Story - 2
Art - 3


“Snowbird: Animala”
Written by Karl Bollers
Art by Harvey Tolibao

I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT. It sure was pretty though.

Story 1
Art 9

-----------------------------

Stupid ass Hallmark holidays aside, what the hell is Marvel thinking with all these weird ass romance books? Besides Amlah, who are they for? I don’t get many housewives in the shops and Guiding Light was cancelled wasn’t it? Isn’t it the one that Marvel crossed over with?

If Marvel wants to sell this shit. Make it digest sized and sell it next to the Shojo shit at Barnes and Noble, dammit.

Overall - 4

[thefourthman]

Marvel Heartbreakers One-Shot

There are two reasons I bought this.

1) It had Nextwave characters and I loves me some kicksploding Nextwave action even if it's not really a Nextwave comic.

2) It was solicited with CB Cebulski as one of the writers. Cebulski doesn't write much, but when he does I usually like it. Sadly he doesn't actually have a story in this so booooooo Marvel.com!

Okay, so there's really a third reason. Sometimes I dig reading comics that are generally intended for teenage girls. Bring back Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane dammit!

A Chemical Romance by Kathryn Immonen and Elena Casagrande
This got Heartbreakers off to a pretty good start. It's a Spider-Man story with both Gwen and Mary Jane and it totally made me miss SMLMJ even though there really wasn't much MJ. The art was cool, I actually liked it more than the art in a lot of Marvel's ongoing series. Story 8, Art 8

Super Boys! by Rick Spears and James Callahan
This story features Elsa Bloodstone and Tabitha Smith from Nextwave and makes this comic worth it all by itself. Why doesn't Rick Spears get more work?! This guy is awesome. Every panel brought the funny and stayed true to the character's Nextwave characterizations. This was super fun and the art was a great match. Story 10, Art 8

Beauty and the Beast: An Epilogue by Jim McCann and David Lopez
This is clearly referencing something I'm not at all familiar with and I've never been much of a Dazzler fan, but McCann writes a great Beast. Story 8, Art 7

Animalia by Karl Bollers and Harvey Tolibao
So, generally I'm usually pretty well versed in the Marvel Universe but I have no idea who in the hell this Snowbird person is. I'm guessing Alpha Flight but Alpha Flight is filled with those silly Canadians so I've never read it. The art in this was hard to follow and the coloring by Emily Warren wasn't doing anyone any favors, but maybe that's just Marvel's ultra dark printing problem popping up again. The story itself was really blah and I had to read it twice just to figure out what was going on. Story 3, Art 2

Heartbreakers isn't going to appeal to a wider audience, but overall I enjoyed it. Rick Spears is a star waiting to happen, give him his own book already Marvel!

Overall: 8

I have never in my entire life read a review that was more wrong. This shit was bad. Even the Spidey story was not great, only seemed great compared to the rest. I love Rick Spears Teeangers from Mars and Repo are some awesome shit, but that story was horrible. The beast/dazzler thing was pointless and horribly written and was missing dialogue for god's sake in a comic that was all dialogue. And the Snowbird was pretty and there was no discernable story. You are really Tabu hacking into Amlah's account, aren't you?

[thefourthman]

Wolverine Savage
Written by Ryan Dunlavey
Art by Richard Elson

So last night, I was starting to get worried. I read four comics and they were all good. Not a stinker to be seen.

Then this morning got good about the time gnome boy pushed Red Sonja over a water fall! Yeah, that’s more like it. Then there was Amlah’s book of the week Heartbreakers - I like to think of it as hater fodder.

But this one... ghastly.

All right, first there is Marvel.com fail number two, no Cebulski writing in Heartbreakers (FYI Amlah, he is busy translating all them Soliel books that no one besides me reads). Then there is the solicitation for this book saying art by McGuiness. No it’s not. It’s this Elson guy, more on that later.

Second is the cover. Holy shit! Wolverine is Gay. Awesome news for Starlord!

Next, the concept of an all ages Wolverine books baffles me. The guy has foot (plus?) Long spike/claws that shoot out of his hands and then he hits people with them. I thought PG13 was insult, but this is a G rated comic... unthinkable folks. And for parents who want safe Wolverine comics, FUCK YOU!!!! He has claws and slices people up and he should curse and dammit I want him to smoke cigars. You hear me Joey Q. Let the fucker smoke, you Nazi bastard!

Then there is the story. Random fight with Lizard tears up restaurant. Said restaurant operator pissed, Logan destroyed her catering job - she is probably gonna have to close up shop. Wolvie helps her, but then finds out is that what the bitch really needs is someone to Gorden Ramsey her place or find her missing pa who went on a hunt for secret ingredient never to be heard from again. Then it turns into Gepetto in the whale, except the whale is a tentically sea monster thing. Yeah, who the fuck cares?

Finally, the humor. Other than an inspired cry of “LOUGANIS!” (See told you Logan was gay) while diving, the humor is like a five year old doing stand up.

Pedestrian and below average. The story gets a little boost from the art. Only a slight improvement though, cause the art suffers from overrenderitis. The inventive designs and manga stylings of the line work are marred by needless detail in the close ups that looks bad compared to the less detailed work of broader shots.

Fuck a score, this book is useless. Suck on that Franklin Richards and Image United!

[thefourthman]

Sweet Tooth #6
Written and Illustrated by Jeff Lemire

My only problem with this book is that from the start the issues all seem short. With The Nobody and Essex County, Lemire had room to breath. Here it seems like each issue ends just as it was getting started.

Sounds like a bad thing, but it really isn’t. Lemire already proved himself a master storyteller with an impressive Family epic and by retelling one of the great stories. The first arc of Sweet Tooth showed mastery of the serial narrative. Progress the story and hook the reader for more, that should be the mantra of single issue comics writers. Last issue even had a little comics equivalent of a trailer!

What is impressive here is the completeness of the issue. Simultaneously giving more back story than present in the previous 100 plus pages of story while making the reader sympathetic to Jeppard. That second part is particularly tricky given the bastard’s betrayal of Gus, but here in short form is the man’s saga and a compelling and heart wrenching explanation for his actions.

Remember though, this is a serial comic. Gus’s story is inched forward leaving more questions than answers.

And the art? The art kicks it up a notch as Lemire shows that ability to not only portray his countrymen as a noble and unique race, but to clearly denote age and still retain the familiarity of characters through his stylistic lines.

Simple put... masterful!

Story 10
Art 10
Overall 10

[thefourthman]

that's 7 with two awaiting publication - actually I may cut quote the demo, because it is getting expanded into a feature thing with an interview with Cloonan and who knows when it will get published in it's entirety?

[******]

I have never in my entire life read a review that was more wrong. This shit was bad. Even the Spidey story was not great, only seemed great compared to the rest. I love Rick Spears Teeangers from Mars and Repo are some awesome shit, but that story was horrible. The beast/dazzler thing was pointless and horribly written and was missing dialogue for god's sake in a comic that was all dialogue. And the Snowbird was pretty and there was no discernable story. You are really Tabu hacking into Amlah's account, aren't you?

The Spears story was awesome, you have no soul... and are apparently blind. The art in that Snowbird story was a fucking mess. Horrible horrible blobs of color with little or no discernible form or craft.

Unless you send me $20 to prove otherwise, your whole review is just for the lutz of being opposite.

[Victorian Squid]

Geez bookstore guy, you can't tell the difference between True Blood and Twilight?

quote from a certain someone's twitter acct:

Someone please come and take away my man card, I just watched Twilight and liked it.
5:43 PM Aug 17th, 2009 from web

Checkmate.

[Victorian Squid]

I have never in my entire life read a review that was more wrong. This shit was bad. Even the Spidey story was not great, only seemed great compared to the rest. I love Rick Spears Teeangers from Mars and Repo are some awesome shit, but that story was horrible. The beast/dazzler thing was pointless and horribly written and was missing dialogue for god's sake in a comic that was all dialogue. And the Snowbird was pretty and there was no discernable story. You are really Tabu hacking into Amlah's account, aren't you?

Agreed! I Byrned that book, it was horrible!

[Victorian Squid]

Hawk Reviews Every DC Book Out There... Even Though He didn't Actually Read Them:

The Authority #19 - 10
Batman Confidential #41 - 9
Blackest Night: Wonder Woman - 8
Cartoon Network Action Pack #46 - 7
Cinderella From Fabletown With Love #4 - 6
Demo #1 - 5
Doom Patrol #7 - 4
Great Ten #4 - 3
Greek Street #8 - 2
House of Mystery #22 - 1
Jonah Hex #52 - 2
Justice Society Of America Annual #2 - 3
Looney Tunes #183 - 4
Question #37 - 5
Red Robin #9 - 6
Red Tornado #6 - 7
Scalped #34 - 8
Superman World Of New Krypton #12 - 9
Sweet Tooth #6 - 10
Warlord #11 - 1

You missed the word-count requirement, didn't you?

[S.F. Jude Terror]

Checkmate.

[Jubilee]

I might give that Marvel heartbreakers comic as a valentines day present