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Review Group Week 237 - GARRISON #5

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BlueStreak
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Postby BlueStreak » Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:14 pm

So....

I read Garrison #5 (thanks Squid for the offer, but I got the Ogre's last copy) and here's a brief summary for those unable to get the book.

[spoiler]Slutty Blonde Agent (or SBA for short) is driving and bitching about how the fictional agency she may or may not be working for treats her like a child. SBA comes across a dude about to strip down his unconscious/dead identical twin, presumably for identical buttsex.

SBA, being a Republican, takes offense to the identical buttsex and prepares to shoot the guy when he reveals that he actually knows her and has already stripped his twin down twice before she got there. He quickly takes off his shirt to show off his snake tattoos to SBA and reveals himself to be Sketchy Snake Tattoo Guy (or SSTG).

SSTG and SBA are quickly attacked by SSTG's other identical twins, probably in a preemptive strike to avoid the buttsex. However, they are dispatched by SBA and SSTG, who actually pops the eyes of one his twins and then breaks his neck.

Luckily, SBA reveals to SSTG that he's not one of a batch of identical twins, but is a clone instead. That's right, this is a clone story people.

Then SBA and SSTG fly to Nebraska. SBA reveals that snake tattoos make her hot and they screw. The last panel? A picture of her bra sitting on the floor with a tracker on it. Someone's been to SBA's chest before SSTG! DUN DUN DUN!

Dialogue: Mediocre
Art: In a year or two, Francavilla will probably be featured in a filler arc of a Batman book.[/spoiler]

Okay guys, review away!
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Postby john lewis hawk » Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:25 pm

Review #1, John Snow. your ass is mine!!

/nostarlord'd.

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Postby BlueStreak » Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:29 pm

john lewis hawk wrote:Review #1, John Snow. your ass is mine!!

/nostarlord'd.


I didn't give a number grade. I just provided a synopsis for those who couldn't find the book.
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Postby Victorian Squid » Wed Aug 25, 2010 7:50 pm

Dang, only $1.20 from mcs for this thing. :(
Last edited by Victorian Squid on Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Victorian Squid » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:43 pm

Garrison #5

The writer of a whole mess of Buffy, Angel, and Charmed books and comics (as well as Presidential Material: Barack Obama BTW), Jeff Mariotte, steals scenes from various movies appropriately enough to craft Garrison #5. I'm going to be as nice as I can, when I say this issue is a patchwork of cliches you'll say you've seen before and be right--from the cloned army of fighters the artist just barely draws to resemble each other, to the "pull up on the stick, the trees!" scene in a jenky old aeroplane that barely starts. Did I mention the "teach the clone who's somehow more human than the rest how to kiss" scene?

Jumping in at issue #5, this issue is perfectly accessible to new readers because we've seen it all before. Which reminds me, I've seen some of artist Francesco Francavilla's illustrations before and liked them much better than this. While colorist Wes Hartman didn't help with all the pink and green "sky and grass" panels, I had to check twice to make sure Francavilla actually drew this, or that there wasn't some inker I could blame this on.

3

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Postby thefourthman » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:21 pm

Victorian Squid wrote:Doesn't look like the Thatcher book is next week. :(

ahhh.

anyhow, love the avatar, hopefully it gives punchy a fit.
Pull list: Afterlife with Archie, Bodies, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Coffin Hill, Dead Boy Detectives, The Fade Out, The Goon, Harley Quinn, Hinterkind, Iron Fist: The Living Weapon,The Maxx Maximized, Miracleman, Ms. Marvel, Multiversity, Rasputin, Rocket Raccoon, Sandman: Overture, Silver Surfer, The Walking Dead, Wonder Woman

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Postby ****** » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:22 pm

Excellent use of Alex Grey, Squid.

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Postby thefourthman » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:23 pm

I just read issue #3, it is still average at best, but I didn't mind it. I think that is why I stopped reading it. Issue 1 was intriguing and issue 2 was kinda forgettable.
Pull list: Afterlife with Archie, Bodies, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Coffin Hill, Dead Boy Detectives, The Fade Out, The Goon, Harley Quinn, Hinterkind, Iron Fist: The Living Weapon,The Maxx Maximized, Miracleman, Ms. Marvel, Multiversity, Rasputin, Rocket Raccoon, Sandman: Overture, Silver Surfer, The Walking Dead, Wonder Woman

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Postby ****** » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:29 pm

Victorian Squid wrote:Dang, only $1.20 from mcs for this thing. :(


I don't even have my copy yet, but I've already added it to my current consolidation before anyone else has a chance to list theirs. :lol:

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Postby Victorian Squid » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:35 pm

John Snow wrote:I don't even have my copy yet, but I've already added it to my current consolidation before anyone else has a chance to list theirs. :lol:


Last month I had a whole box listed and ready to go, then with a dealer show I was getting ready for I forgot to finish it off and submit it for 2 weeks--when I went back half the stuff was no longer viable. It was a sad thing.

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Postby john lewis hawk » Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:16 am

So..... I thought it would be bad if I didn't go out and buy the comic myself. Plus, if I am going to kick out of the group due to the Hawk Rule (Fuck Amber Atoms, that bitch deserves nothing!!), I'd rather be kicked out for holding the thread hostage during Jude's week.

As for the comic itself, it really wasn't that hard to follow suprising but that's mostly because the plot's thinner than toilet paper at a public restroom. Except for the reveal of who Garrison actually is, everything is incredibly cliched. Hell, the issue is nothing more than a little fighting, that forced dialogue you see in movies where the two leads are about to fuck, and fucking. As for Francavilla's art, I've seen better from him.

3

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Postby ****** » Thu Aug 26, 2010 8:02 am

2 reviews posted. Exile avoided. You win for now...

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Postby Victorian Squid » Thu Aug 26, 2010 8:31 am

John Snow wrote:2 reviews posted. Exile avoided. You win for now...


Not only that, two nearly identical reviews. One or both of us should be scared.

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Postby Victorian Squid » Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:08 pm

It's on the list!!!

:DancingObama

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Postby ****** » Thu Aug 26, 2010 2:17 pm

Victorian Squid wrote:It's on the list!!!

:DancingObama


Amber Atoms (screw you Hawk!) would like another shot at taking someone out. You should pick it.

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