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[LOLtron]

A lot of people are gonna be drowning in hobo piss today!

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So while most of us were enjoying fireworks, swilling cheap beer, and scarfing down wieners, social media got itself all whipped up into a frothy lather this weekend when a hashtag calling for the firing of Captain America writer Rick Remender trended on Twitter. The calls for Remender's termination came in response to the latest issue of Cap, in which vaguely 30ish Sam Wilson, The Falcon, had an alcohol-inspired night of passion with genetically engineered extra-dimensional Arnim Zola spawn Jet Black. Proponents of the hashtag insist that Black was a toddler at the beginning of Steve Rogers' stay in Zola's pocket dimension, and that, since Cap spent twelve years there, she is currently around 14 or 15 years old, and, therefore, the sexual encounter was statutory rape. However, the official position presented in the comics, from Black's own words, is that she's 23.

RELATED: Rick Remender Urges Naysayers to Drown in Hobo Piss

Who's right? Beats the hell out of me. I stopped reading that book months ago because Remender's Marvel work is kinda lackluster, and he has a shitty attitude (see all the RELATED posts in this article for more on that). There might be something there. It certainly wouldn't be the first time Remender stuck his foot in his mouth. But then, there might not. It wouldn't be the first time people got outraged over nothing either. The Daily Dot makes a case for it. being offensive.

RELATED: Thousands Could Die At Marvel's Uncanny Avengers Press Conference

Rich Johnston has another idea though. On Bleeding Cool, the rumormonger penned an article accusing the #FireRickRemender crew of being closet racists angry that a black man was sleeping with a white woman. He claimed that fans may have been confused by the inconsistent scrawlings of coasting-since-the-nineties John Romita Jr., who depicted the tween Jet Black as a toddler in the comic despite the script backing up Johnston's version of the age. In any case, Johnston's interesting tactic of countering outrage over sexism with outrage over racism took a turn for the absurd when Johnston compared Remender to William Shakespeare, since the Bard's 1595 classic Romeo and Juliet also featured teenagers having sex.

RELATED: Critics of Marvel's Upcoming AXIS Event to Drown in Hobo Piss

After that, comic book professionals began chiming in with sarcastic responses to the hashtag. Here's some samples:

 

@ScottAukerman @Remender now that is a hashtag I can get behind. #firerickremender

— Ryan Stegman (@RyanStegman) July 7, 2014

 

Whether you think Falcon's decisions were poor or not, falsely crying "statutory rape" is insulting to genuine victims. #FireRickRemender.

— Mark Waid (@MarkWaid) July 7, 2014

 

Please RT this: RT @MarkWaid If you're being swayed by the #FireRickRemender outrage, please read this and RT: http://t.co/GDO7GiFie7 …

— Dan Slott (@DanSlott) July 7, 2014

 

ugh, I do not want to mow this grass today #fireRickRemender

— Jeff Parker (@jeffparker) July 7, 2014

 

Rick remender has great skin and looks ten years younger than he is and it's creepy. #firerickremender

— Ryan Stegman (@RyanStegman) July 7, 2014

 

Rick Remender always wears shorts but I like pants. #firerickremender

— Ryan Stegman (@RyanStegman) July 7, 2014

 

How bout we just tar and feather Rick Remender instead? The nerve of that guy, not idiot-proofing his work. #firerickremender

— Erik Burnham (@erikburnham) July 7, 2014

 

@RyanStegman I like collard greens but Remender is a kale guy. #firerickremender

— Josh Crews Really (@JoshCrewsReally) July 7, 2014

 

I emailed @Remender with a question about AXIS today and he answered it quickly and fairly. #firerickremender

— Charles Soule (@CharlesSoule) July 7, 2014

 

RELATED: Rogue to Drown in Hobo Piss in Uncanny Avengers #14

This one was our favorite of all the tweets last night:

 

A 23 year old white woman from an alternate dimension is having sex with the token black guy from Captain America: TWS #firerickremender

— Jamal Yaseem Igle (@JAMALIGLE) July 7, 2014

 

The drastic turn of events reportedly has corporate stuffed shirts baffled as to how to handle the whole thing. Do they fire Remender in a knee jerk reaction to the hashtag trending more than ever? Do they take advantage of all the attention and release a month's worth of #FireRickRemender variant covers? Do they hire ousted SiriusXM shock jock Anthony Cumia to write Captain America? Do they unleash a flood of hobo piss upon the internet to drown everyone, the supporters and the detractors, like a vengeful corporate God, and start fresh?

Nobody knows, but it's certainly interesting to follow the hashtag right now. So you should probably do that.

RELATED: Man Puts Curse on Rick Remender After Offensive Remarks in Uncanny Avengers #9

Meanwhile, Johnston's hashtag, #FireWilliamShakespeare, failed to gain traction, possibly because Twitter's 140 character limit makes it nearly impossible to tweet in sonnet form. Let us know whose side you're on in the comments below! Do it in the form of a sonnet for bonus points!

Written or Contributed by Jude Terror

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READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

[guitarsmashley]

This seems like the ridiculous PC blog terror alert you guys live on? No I had to read about it on CBR first...basically someone/people with way too much time on their hands says Falcon statutory raped Jet Black in Captain America #22, because she's totally a 14 year old girl despite the fact that she says, she's had a 23rd birthday.....it all comes down to how poorly drawn children/teenagers are by JrJr.

[Herald]

Pass it on to Jude; he will show the requisite outrage.

[guitarsmashley]

Really what bother me most is that I was wrong about Jet being brought out of Dimension Z to bang Steve Rogers...well I can't be right all the time.

[guitarsmashley]

And when confronted with her saying she's really 23-24 the argument shifts to how mentally she can't be 23-24 because her childhood was a product of Zola level parenting.......I hate people so much.

[Rockman]

Apparently it's racist that Sam Wilson slept with her also.

[GOSD]

She should have stayed in Dimension Z.

[guitarsmashley]

She should have stayed in Dimension Z.

You shut your whore mouth.

[guitarsmashley]

Apparently it's racist that Sam Wilson slept with her also.

Interraicial interdimensional sex is the worst kind.

[GOSD]

You shut your whore mouth.

That's what Falcon said before he laid that pipe.

[guitarsmashley]

That's what Falcon said before he laid that pipe.

You figure she was a virgin too right? Unless she's been banging hobos and killing them between issue 10 and now?

[Supersoldier Washout]

Not reading Captain America so I totally don't know what the Hell is going on.

Who is Jet Black and is the character in her 20's or is she 14?

[john lewis hawk]

It's definitely ridiculous and I know I saw Mark Waid and Dan Slott both tweeted a blog post that proves that it wasn't rape.

The main argument against it is that Marvel is doing very good lately and very much a part of the mainstream culture so are they going to allow one of the characters from one of their movies rape a teenager? Hell no, that wouldn't be allowed to be printed at all.

That said, I did predict her and Falcon bumping uglies. Cap is too much of a boring goodie for her.

[GOSD]

You figure she was a virgin too right? Unless she's been banging hobos and killing them between issue 10 and now?

Yep.

It def. seemed out of left field for Sam to knock her up THAT quickly.

[GOSD]

Could they just get Waid back on this title?

The villain with the thought bubbles was so fucking lame.