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by **LOLtron** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:57 pm

Superman Gets Underwear Back in Issue 17, Character Still Sucks

The super-panties mysteriously appear in this page from Supergirl #17, indicating someone finally found a way to clean indestructible skid marks out of Kryptonian fabric.

Source: Bleeding Cool (Yeah, we link to them, ComicBooks.com)

Noted underwear fanatic and close examiner of Superman's ass, Rich Johnston, broke the story today that the sorely missed Super-Panties will be returning in Superman #17 have returned in Supergirl #17. Since the Nu52 reboot, Supes has either A) worn his underwear on the inside of his pants like a normal person or B) not worn any underwear at all, like a filthy man-slut. Either way, fanboys, who are the weirdest people on the face of the planet, have lamented the loss of the underwear for over a year since.

Yes, you heard us correctly. Fanboys have lamented the lack of exterior panties in Superman comics. We know we sometimes like to tell jokes here at The Outhouse, but we're not in this case. People care about this.

So we expect much rejoicing to occur all over the internet today when readers learn that the underpants are back. But though fanboys will be happy, they are still fanboys, so they're also going to demand an explanation. After all, if Superman just starts wearing his underwear again, that would destroy continuity, or something. Luckily, your pal Jude Terror is here to take care of business (no pun intended).

Look. Nobody wants to talk about it, but everyone poops. Yes, even Superman. And just like Superman's body is stronger and more indestructible than a normal person's body, well, so must be his poop. You may say it's gross, but you have to admit, it's probably true.

What?! This place is called The Outhouse! Did you really think we wouldn't go there?

So what happens when Superman has, let's say, a rough time. We don't want to get into the details because this is a family website, but you know what we're talking about: skid marks. Skid marks happen. They happen to everyone, at some point or another. Superman has maintained clean, skidless underpanties for something like 80 years. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

And when Superman's underpants have Super Skid Marks, you can't just toss them in the washing machine. This is alien underwear coated in indestructible poo particles we're talking about here. Tide ain't gonna take care of that shit (no pun intended). The mystery of how Superman cleaned the Brown Kryptonite out of his underwear will likely be revealed in a future issue of the comic.

Until then, we'll all just have to rejoice that the Man of Steel is back to putting his skivvies on the outside his pants, like the senile hundred-year old man he is. And fanboys will have to find something else weird and pointless to bitch about, which should take all of about three seconds.

UPDATE: While Bleeding Cool's article claims the page below appears in Superman #17, in stores March 6, but the page is actually from Supergirl #17, in stores today.

Written or Contributed by Jude Terror

READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

by **bkthomson** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:01 pm

gawd, wonder if the law-suit verdict paved the way back for the red.

by **IvCNuB4** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:09 pm

Know what's even funnier ?
The fact that Rich can't tell the difference between Superman #17 (March 6) and Supergirl #17 (on sale today). This is clearly drawn by Mahmud Asrar :lol:

And it's just a coloring error.

by **Zechs** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:11 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:Know what's even funnier ?
The fact that Rich can't tell the difference between Superman #17 (March 6) and Supergirl #17 (on sale today). This is clearly drawn by Mahmud Asrar

And it's just a coloring error.

Right... Coloring error. Methinks the colorists at DC again dictate what they really want.

by **IvCNuB4** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:16 pm

You mean like how in Superboy they keep coloring Wonder Woman's boots red ? :groucho:

by **Juan Cena** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:16 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:Know what's even funnier ?
The fact that Rich can't tell the difference between Superman #17 (March 6) and Supergirl #17 (on sale today). This is clearly drawn by Mahmud Asrar

And it's just a coloring error.

It could be, sadly.

Supes needs the shorts back. That Nu52 costume is boring as f**k.

by **S.F. Jude Terror** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:35 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:Know what's even funnier ?
The fact that Rich can't tell the difference between Superman #17 (March 6) and Supergirl #17 (on sale today). This is clearly drawn by Mahmud Asrar

And it's just a coloring error.

So this is from Supergirl?

by **bkthomson** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:43 pm

Juan Cena wrote:

It could be, sadly.

Supes needs the shorts back. That Nu52 costume is boring as f**k.

Like a Drew Magary blog. :smt102

by **guitargod694** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:47 pm

bkthomson wrote:
Like a Drew Magary blog.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. The new Supes costume sucks... but it's not THAT bad.

by **IvCNuB4** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:54 pm

S.F. Jude Terror wrote:
So this is from Supergirl?

Yep. CBR posters are already chatting about it.

Hey. Ntikrst posts there ! :lol:

by **sdsichero** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 4:29 pm

S.F. Jude Terror wrote:
So this is from Supergirl?

IvCNuB4 wrote:Yep. CBR posters are already chatting about it.

Hey. Ntikrst posts there !

You are both traitors.

So if this is from Supergirl #17... Is the reason Superman is getting punched because he stole and is wearing Supergirl's undies?

by **Ntikrst** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 1:15 am

IvCNuB4 wrote:
Yep. CBR posters are already chatting about it.

Hey. Ntikrst posts there !

At times but I don't have any friends there either... :cry:

I didn't even notice the shorts, they're only in for the one panel. Good story though, little padded but I like this version of Supergirl and dig the art quite a bit.

Lobdell and Rocafort's Superman is pretty good though.

by **Anthony Acri** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

God knows It would be beyond me to ever allow the comic book chuds ever escape their forays into the scatological and the thought of penis, which is always right under the shifting ice with this crowd, but the reason that the red underwear here mean something is because that's how the two Jewish kids who created him wanted him to be. In a grant Morrison world I realize the copyright is everything, but red under wear, Hercules, Lois Lane as a Roz Russel love interest, as opposed to the Reign lands super-race of Superman and Wonder woman creating the master race, and this time for real, these are the things that Jerry Seigel wrought, Jack the hack isn't the only genius in comics, if even one, and in our game of thrones mud world the least you can do is respect the shit.