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After The Beat published an article ripping off The Outhouse's signature satirical style, The Outhouse has vowed to copy The Beat's penchant for responsible, award-winning journalism.
It's a blog eat blog world out there in the realm of comic book journalism, but, until now, websites were expected to follow a certain code of conduct, particularly when it comes to respecting the well-marked territory of other websites. For instance, it is well known that unfunny top ten lists are the territory of popular website Newsarama, or that ComicBookResources holds the patent on ass-kissing fluff pieces and reviews graded on a scale of four to five stars, and The Outhouse, respecting the rules of internet engagement, would never try to infringe upon those sites' territory.
Today, however, everything changed when The Beat, a well-respected comics culture blog, published a satirical article claiming that changes to the menu of a lunch counter near the DC offices have sparked the infamous series of meetings that have fanboys whipped up into a panicky lather. Of course, the article is making fun of Bleeding Cool's three articles published about these meetings in the last 24 hours, none of which contain any interesting information other than the fact that meetings are taking place, which is a remarkably unremarkable occurrence at a major multinational corporation.
Unfortunately for The Beat, making fun of Rich Johnston and blowing mundane comics news completely out of proportion is clearly the territory of The Outhouse, which recieves no less than five angry emails or Facebook comments every day from people who cannot detect the presence of satire, and which has already published two articles mocking Bleeding Cool's hysteria over the meetings. Such an infringement cannot go unanswered, regardless of how amusing The Beat's article was, or how much Rich Johnston is asking to be mocked with his constant rumor-mongering and broad, vague suppositions that Johnston will refer back to in six months when some real news breaks in order to claim he knew about it all along.
This will not stand, Heidi MacDonald. Of course you realize... this means war.
In retaliation for these infringements on The Outhouse's trademarked sense of humor, The Outhouse will immediately begin writing insightful articles that are respected throughout the comics industry and online community, thus moving into territory formerly held by The Beat.
"You're gonna pay, Heidi MacDonald!" shouted Outhouse newsroom anchor ThanosCopter, who may or may not have been smoking marijuana laced with pcp. "I'm going to eat your children! Ha ha very fucking funny!"
The Outhouse would like to state, for the record, that child-consumption committed by ThanosCopter is the sole expression of the appetite of ThanosCopter himself, and does not reflect the appetites or diets of The Outhouse or its proprietors.
As to how The Outhouse plans to start writing articles with journalistic integrity, that remains to be seen. "How hard can it be?" said Jude Terror, webmaster of The Outhouse and an expert on journalistic integrity. "We just need to, like, try to make sure what we're saying is actually true."
"For instance," Terror continued, "I claim in the teaser of this article that The Beat's trademark is 'award-winning' journalism. Has The Beat won awards for its journalism? I dunno, and a quick Google search yielded no useful information. But that's okay. If it turns out they haven't, I'll rig this year's Outhouse Awards to give them one, making my statement retroactively true. Now that's integrity."
We'll keep you updated on events as they unfold. In the meantime, see the evidence for yourself at The Beat's article, Huge Shake-Up at DC Comics Lunch Counter.
Written or Contributed by Jude Terror
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