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This Man Ate a Comic Book As a Protest, But What Happens Next Will Astound You!

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LOLtron

Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:23 pm

This Man Ate a Comic Book As a Protest, But What Happens Next Will Astound You!

Gawker style journalism, right here.



Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Henry Cecil, a 42 year old man from Brooklyn, was so upset by a recent issue of Superman/Wonder Woman, he decided to eat the comic book as a protest against what he feels is a forced romance between two of DC's largest characters.  "It was supposed to be a form of civil disobediance," Cecil told the Outhouse. 

But what he didn't expect was his stomach to have a violent reaction to the 32 pages worth of dried ink on the paper.  Nor did he expect the staples he consumed to perforate his intestines, forcing doctors to conduct emergency surgery and remove several feet of his intestines, plus his spleen.  

"In hindsight, I probably should have just bitched on the Internet about the comic," Cecil said while recovering in his hospital.  "I probably would still have all of my organs if I did that." 

So what's the moral of this story?  Don't eat comic books. And don't believe nonsense stories with crappy, sensationalized article titles.  And fuck you for clicking on this shitty, sensationlist link.



Written or Contributed by ThanosCopter


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
User avatar

outsider

Outhouse Drafter

Postby outsider » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:26 pm

4-color poop?
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Scintillant-H

#1,984 on Deathstroke's Hit List

Postby Scintillant-H » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:01 pm

This guy's lucky the book didn't possess his body from the inside and make him buy more Nu52 books, then proceed to end all life as we know it.
User avatar

Scintillant-H

#1,984 on Deathstroke's Hit List

Postby Scintillant-H » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:02 pm

outsider wrote:4-color poop?


I was thinking 3 1/2, but by George, I think you're right...! :o
User avatar

Will_Ripamonti

Snake On A Plane

Postby Will_Ripamonti » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:19 pm

Wait, where's Professor Puffinbottoms?
I was hoping to know his medical opinion about the fact, what a letdown...
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Supersoldier Washout

penile prisoner

Postby Supersoldier Washout » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:48 pm

I thought his knee was going to shrivel up and become deformed.
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Scintillant-H

#1,984 on Deathstroke's Hit List

Postby Scintillant-H » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:51 pm

Supersoldier Washout wrote:I thought his knee was going to shrivel up and become deformed.


That sounds like more of a long-term side effect. Give it a while. :D
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MrBlack

WTF is this rank?

Postby MrBlack » Tue Jan 28, 2014 4:36 pm

As Rob Liefeld has taught us, you're better off just yelling at your comics.
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Delicia Reyes

FACEBOOKTron

Postby Delicia Reyes » Tue Jan 28, 2014 5:33 pm

Cuando coman comics, quítenle las grapas, chavos...
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IvCNuB4

Staff Writer

Postby IvCNuB4 » Tue Jan 28, 2014 5:54 pm

¿Por qué se puede comer un cómic que es esta buena ?
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HNutz

Rain Partier

Postby HNutz » Tue Jan 28, 2014 7:14 pm

Sounds like an Upworthy headline.

That's not a compliment.
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TimH

dINGO

Postby TimH » Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:32 am

Symbolically, eating something means you seek to absorb its strengths...

What he meant to do was defecate or piss on the comic... that's the universal mark of contempt...

What a dumb ass... hope he enjoyed whatever cheap instant of fame it brought him...
User avatar

Scintillant-H

#1,984 on Deathstroke's Hit List

Postby Scintillant-H » Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:02 am

TimH wrote:Symbolically, eating something means you seek to absorb its strengths...

What he meant to do was defecate or piss on the comic... that's the universal mark of contempt...

What a dumb ass... hope he enjoyed whatever cheap instant of fame it brought him...


I think it was more stupid for him to not think of the harmful physical side effects, but you're right. ;) I think he was considering that he wanted to turn the book into the physical "shit" that he thought it was in plotline quality. Failing miserably, of course, but still. XD :lol:
User avatar

Scintillant-H

#1,984 on Deathstroke's Hit List

Postby Scintillant-H » Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:14 am

MrBlack wrote:As Rob Liefeld has taught us, you're better off just yelling at your comics.


:lol:
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Arion

Twenty-Something

Postby Arion » Tue Feb 04, 2014 3:30 pm

MrBlack wrote:As Rob Liefeld has taught us, you're better off just yelling at your comics.


Yeah...

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