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Today, Entertainment Weekly posted the cover to October's Uncanny Avengers #1, which revealed a major plot point about the outcome of Avengers vs. X-Men: Captain America, so depressed by his fascist actions during the event, binge eats to find some semblance of happiness. Indeed, Cap appears to have put on at least thirty pounds in the cover, and with the increased metabolism afforded him by the Super Soldier Serum, a known performance enhancer, he must have been eating a lot to gain so much so quickly. Perhaps the story will involve Cap finally getting in touch with the true spirit of America, and along with morbid obesity he will finally open up a MySpace account and start watching Nascar.
Comic book fans are no strangers to the perils of obesity. This reporter weighs 800 pounds, and needs to be lifted out of bed by a small crane and placed at my computer desk so I can write snarky articles about comics on the internet, an activity that, shockingly, has not helped me to lose weight. Regardless, we expect our comic books to represent more idealized superheroes in peak physical condition, and, in the case of female superheroes, with big boobies. Hopefully Captain America can get his life back on track and stop reminding us of our own pathetic shortcomings, and go back to kidnapping children and exterminating all mutants.
Cover is posted below.
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror