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RU joins WIFE as she hunkers down and tries to piece together Marvel’s “First Look – X-MEN #1!”
Source: Marvel Press Release
Welcome the second part of a new feature from The Outhouse, marriage councilor PhDs, where ace reporter, RU, teams up with his wife, WIFE, to fill in the blanks left in Marvels "First Look!" previews.
This installment: X-Men #1
Cover to X-Men #1:
WIFE: It’s chick-tastic
RU: It’s an all girl X-Men Book
WIFE: Why does that one have a sword penis?
RU: It’s her mutant power.
WIFE: Kinda like your ability to find nipples.
WIFE: No, really, what’s with the Mohawk?
RU: Mohawks are cool.
WIFE: It’s no bow tie.
WIFE: Is she falling out of the ceiling or sinking into the floor?
RU: That is...an excelent question. I think, maybe, she’s coming in from the roof of the train in the first panel and she landed on the floor below.
WIFE: Is that what happened in Apocalypse Now?
WIFE: That baby must have been crying, she’s giving the mom the stink-eye.
WIFE: This is the weirdest Heathers remake I’ve ever seen.
RU: How many remakes are there?
WIFE: That’s not the point.
WIFE: Holy boobs, Batman!
WIFE: Fly my pretties, fly!
RU: OH! These are out of order!
WIFE: Or some stupid flashback montage – oooh, 80s Mohawk, Heathers remake, flashbacks, I think I hear “Playing With The Boys” on my Walkman!
WIFE: This page is stupid, why is the baby eating her face?
RU: Did Jubilee steal that baby?
WIFE: What’s a “Jubilee”
RU: Besides what we call the party after a Bar Mitzvah?
RU: She shoots fireworks out of her fingers and might be a vampire.
WIFE: The baby is eating her face cause it’s a vampire too?
RU: Maybe, I don’t know if she is still a vampire.
WIFE: They gave a baby to someone who might be a vampire!?
RU: We leave RuRu with your mother.
RU: I’ll sleep on the couch until May 29:
X-MEN #1 (FEB130492)
Written by BRIAN WOOD
Art & Cover by OLIVIER COIPEL
FOC – 05/06/12 On-Sale – 05/29/13
p(RU)views featuring WIFE:Nova #4
Written or Contributed by GHERU
READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!