In this issue of Kick-Ass 3… no Kick-Ass! Yep, throughout this issue, Dave doesn’t don the famous green wetsuit even once, because he’s spending all of his time having sex and hanging out with his new girlfriend Valerie.
It’s certainly weird to see weedy old Dave getting some (and even weirder to see John Romita Jnr draw sex, it just feels strange, this is the man who defines the Marvel Universe in my head, drawing boobs and BJs, odd), but it did something interesting in that it showed perhaps the real reason why Dave became Kick-Ass in the first place, because he wasn’t getting laid. Now that he is, he doesn’t have time to hang out with the rest of Justice Forever, and instead is living a normal life, even as he channels some of that old Kick-Ass to (I assume) beat up some annoying kids. All of this happiness for Dave and Valerie has a double-edged sword though, as it’s only going to make it even more tragic when she either gets killed or is revealed to be working for Rocco Genovese in the next few issues. If there’s one thing we know from Mark Millar comics, people don’t get to be happy for very long without something grim happening.
The rest of this issue sees crooked cop Vic Gigante’s plan to break free of the Genovese clan take centre stage, as he and the rest of his Cop buddies don skull masks, shoot up a Mob counting house, put it on Youtube and basically ramp up the heat on masked vigilantes. Rocco has no idea that the cops he thinks he has on the take are the ones ripping him off, so he instead decides to kill all of the other superheroes out there, and even asks Gigante to help. Insect-Man is killed, so does The Juicer (I was glad to see him go, but surprised, I thought the ‘Civl War’ between him and Kick-Ass would be more important, but I guess it was just a way to push Dave more towards Valerie. We also see a poor guy who’s just in a costume raising money for charity get shot.
The final scene sees poor old Doctor Gravity, Kick-Ass’ first real fellow crime-fight get lured into a trap and shot in the head, with a brutal dollop of brains on the floor. All this, and Hit-Girl isn’t even in the issue! It looks like these deaths are what’s going to bring Kick-Ass out of his sex-crazed semi-retirement and back into action, and I can’t wait for that.
As I said, I expect only bad things for Dave and Valerie, but I’m excited to see just how messed up this can get. There are only 3 issues left of Kick-Ass, so it should get plenty messed-up. This was a violent, surprising issue, but it was necessary, the stage is set for a brutal final few instalments, but first, we need to get Hit-Girl out of the can!