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Toy Shed: Cobra HISS Tank

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Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:39 am

COBRA-LALALALALALALALA**Translation Zechs loves the new G.I. Joe vehicle line.Ah the 1980s. Or how I like to call the period, toy heaven. You had He-Man, Superpowers, MASK, TMNT, Visionaries, Transformers, and numerous other 80s toy lines that made kids whine and cry to their parents that they HAD TO HAVE THESE TOYS. But, there was [...]

*Translation Zechs loves the new G.I. Joe vehicle line.


Ah the 1980s. Or how I like to call the period, toy heaven. You had He-Man, Superpowers, MASK, TMNT, Visionaries, Transformers, and numerous other 80s toy lines that made kids whine and cry to their parents that they HAD TO HAVE THESE TOYS. But, there was always one line above all else that where GODS when it came to shelling out stuff.

That was G.I. Joe.

Each thing in that line was always MUST BUY. Either the show, commercials, or comics brainwashed you into beg your parents into getting you this stuff. I thought I broke that habit when the Joe line ended in the mid 90s. When Hasbro relaunched the line in early 00s, the only figures I got where two Cobra B.A.T.s, Snake-Eyes, and Storm Shadow. I didn’t have that same urge to get the figures like I did in the past.

Since the twenty-fifth anniversary of the cartoon and toys hit I’m back having this infectious hunger. Everything of G.I. Joe is must buy again. I go to a Target, Toys R Us, or Wal-Mart. Almost half the time the Joe stuff is sold out or has figures I already have or don’t want (I have enough Snake-Eyes I DO NOT WANT another variety). How bad has this bug hit me? I pretty much have the entire Cobra higher ups. And now I’m army building (getting numerous Cobra Officers, Crimson Guards, Vipers, and B.A.T.s), something I never even did as a kid.

Now Hasbro in their efforts to make this hunger even worse has at last unleashed a vehicle line. And the number one target was to get me a Cobra HISS tank. Why? To feed that endless hunger Hasbro has reawakened. First off, the prices on these vehicles are nice. Around sixteen dollars, with what most things go nowadays is a steal and Hasbro make’s each dollar worth its penny. Image

Some of the vehicle packs come in two’s while the only one’s (so far) that come alone are the HISS and the Joe’s jeep. So if you’re looking for just one vehicle (say Serpentor’s air chariot), you’re either going to have to stomach getting another vehicle with the purchase and figure you may or may not want (in air chariot’s case, the cape less Serpentor figure is horrible, however the other figures are somewhat better). So if you truly want a vehicle by itself from the set either Option A: buy the entire set and sell the other on ebay. Or.. Option B: go to ebay and buy it from the person who’s doing option A. Hopefully though it can be at a reasonable price and not overpriced (like say over the sixteen dollar limit it’s supposed to be).

However, before I go into the nitty gritty a warning to those toy hunters out there, Target’s version has an alternate figure (a repainted Cobra Officer figure) and a darker blue paint (the others are colored black). Other than that, it pretty much come’s with the same things. So if you’re army building and hunting these tanks down it’s best to know this fact going in.

When it come’s to the Cobra HISS tank itself, it is packaged with a Cobra HISS commander (a repainted HISS driver). It’s true there is a HISS driver out there, but really given it’s a freaking paint job. If you really are obsessive minded you can skip getting the original because the HISS Commander is basically the same figure.

HISS Commander come’s with the usual basics, a stand and a file sheet (which is in the box, not part of the box which it used to be originally when figures came with vehicles). Weapon-wise, the figure come’s with a single pistol that fits nicely into his holster. The HISS Commander is about as poseable as pretty much all the figures in the Joe line. But honestly we all know it’s real use is to be eternally stuck in that driver’s seat, driving this vehicle to mow down some G.I. Joes or be taken down by the Joes. Though I digress, seeing the HISS Commander gunning the turret and the HISS driver driving is kinda cool (if you don’t want one of the Cobra hierarchy doing the gunning, as seen below with Destro). Image

As for the HISS tank itself, I feel like I’m back in the eighties. It really does feel ripped from that era. The tank can hold about four figures in total (driver, gunner, and two standing on the side). The gun turret on top can move in a 360 degree direction. For the geekier, it even has a hook on its end for the possibility to drag things or tow.

It also come’s with a separate file card for the vehicle and decals, which really leads into the only negative. The direction for the decals are stupid. It has all these numbers of where to put these decals but when you actually look on the sheet, there’s no freaking number to be found. So if you’re giving this to a five or six year old they ain’t going to know jack what goes where. Meaning mommy and daddy are going have to do the dirty work in putting these suckers on. Now for the actual fan or collector it isn’t going to be too much of a problem. The only thing that drove me nuts was perfectly putting a decal on an area that without a small tool is next to impossible to slap it on. Other than that, I didn’t have too much of a problem with it but still I hated the fact that Hasbro has numerical directions of what goes where.


Still, the vehicle rocks. The size, the mold, everything about it is still awesome. Like I said before I feel like I’m back in the eighties and this craving that Hasbro has reignited So in other words I leave my judgment in:

Cobra HISS tank w/Cobra HISS Commander: GET IT!

Posted originally: 2008-08-20 13:39:57

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