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[LOLtron]

With the holiday upon us, I thought I'd make my own GeekyGay Christmas list for the night Santa comes down my chimney. Oh, and this iswhat my Santa looks like:

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/2/20141/50_2007/Ryan+Phillipe.jpg

And we won't even go into the chimney analogy....

Dear Santa,

 

I've been an awfully good boy this year and if you have amoment, there are just a few things I would love to have this holiday.

 

Let's get this out of the way, right off the bat - Dick.Please help DC give me more Dick. That's not too much to ask for, is it?

 

Since Joe Q. has basically warped the character ofSpider-Man now, could you finally help break the over abundance of sexualtension between Peter and Norman, and just have them "do it", already. Ihaven't seen this much tension in a relationship since Dave and Maddie back inthe 80's. This is a daddy/son yearning that has gone on too long.

 

Thongs for the men in the superhero community. If mystraight geek friends can have characters like Psylocke and Black Canaryrunning around with a piece of string up their ass all the time, why can'tBatman or Luke Cage have the same? Hell, I'd be happy with Vision in a thong!

 

http://www.tigershaunt.com/files/batman_robin_leather_thong.jpg

 

Again I have to thank the Goddesses that we have GailSimone. She knows what we want to see; more naked Catman! Meow!

 

Now my dearest Santa, I know these last two Christmaspresents are going to be a rather tall order, but I know if anyone can do this,you can.

 

Could you please, please, please, give us a majorevent from any comic company that keeps each character actually incharacter, doesn't intertwine with nearly every book in the company, andactually has a beginning, middle and an end! Ok, and since I'm asking, couldyou make it as linear as possible for us old queens to actually understand thedamn thing to begin with!

 

Finally, if you could find it in that large, jolly heart ofyours; whilst I sleep on Christmas Eve, please sneak into my room and, justlike Zatanna in "Identity Crisis", could you erase my memory when it comes tothat magnificent story called "Y The Last Man". Allow me the chance to read itagain, as if it were the first time, so that all those wonderful emotions canfill my heart a second time as I say goodbye to such beautiful and threedimensional characters. That would be so nice of you.

 

However, if all of these are too much, or perhaps I haven'tbeen as nice as I thought I was, then I have only one wish for you: Health,Happiness, and Prosperity for my friends at The Outhouse. That would be just asgreat.

 

My cookies will be in there usual spot. (wink, wink)

 

Love,

Starlord

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