Review: Ghost Rider the Movie
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by LOLtron » Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:10 pm
By dairydead Hello all, I’m here with an all-new all-exciting review of the big screen debut of the Spirit of Vengance! I had an opportunity to view this film this morning, so I naturally took that opportunity. Now, granted, I came into this expecting a huge stinker, as the commercials and trailers were not exactly “exciting”. Well, [...]
Hello all, I’m here with an all-new all-exciting review of the big screen debut of the Spirit of Vengance!
I had an opportunity to view this film this morning, so I naturally took that opportunity. Now, granted, I came into this expecting a huge stinker, as the commercials and trailers were not exactly “exciting”. Well, coming out, my expectations were filled.
The movie starts off promising, giving a little back history into the Ghost Rider mythos, and does it with a bit of style. Then we get pulled into the long and boring history of the man Johnny Blaze. We are subjected to long scenes with minimal dialog and maximum slow motion shots. Pointless events and just boring scenes make up the first half, and we find out that pretty randomly that Mephisto comes and convinces Johnny to become his rider. There’s really no reason that was shown on screen why this even happened. Oh Well!
Flash forward to the future, where we get a spacey, werido Johnny Blaze who seemingly doesn’t realize he is famous, but continues to sell out stadiums with his special stunts. We get not one, but two extreme slow motion death defying stunt events that have him jumping over various things. Those become redundant and boring after the first time. Oh well again. These are also peppered with weird, cheeseball (on purpose?) scenes that include the idea that Johnny doesn’t drink, but always eats red and yellow jellybeans in his cups. He doesnt even “eat” them, he sips them out of a cup. Okayyyy… Add in some weird dialouge and scenes with Eva Mendes walking slowly for no apparent reason and we have the first act.
Eventually we find out that Blackheart has come to do something….. which wasn’t really clear, but I assume its about taking over the world. He has three henchmen dressed as though they are in the matrix, which is X-treme, of course. Mephisto realizes that, and confronts Blackheart, in one of the most confusingly edited scenes I’ve seen in a long while. Anyways, Mephisto makes Blaze into Ghost Rider, causes him to miss a date, and easily takes care of his henchmen throughout the movie, in scenes that do not even remotely affect the story, and seem just pasted into random spots throughout. Cool, I guess. Oh yeah, and then Blackheart abducts Eva Mendes, and uses her as leverage so that Johnny can get him some kind of contract that will make him the ruler of the underworld or something. *shrugs*
Johnny eventually meets up with a gravedigger who has the personality of carboard. It turns out that he is somehow extremely old and is one of the earlier Ghost Riders, and has the contract. [sarcasm]SHOCKING!![/sarcasm] Anyways, he promises Johnny that he will help him, only to become Western Ghost Rider, for about a minute, and then disappear when he gets to Blackheart. WHAT?!?
Anyways, with a quick, confusing fight, Blackheart beats up GR, and sucks up all the dead souls…..or something to become……..a dude with blue skin. NOT the Blackheart we all know and love, because we all know thats far too much to ask out of the producers of this movie. They just had to put a “modern spin” on Blackheart and make him a blue skinned guy. Great.
Anyways, Johnny just ends up shooting him, and then uses his vision to make him die. Woo hoo! Then Mephisto shows up and tells him that he’s free, and for reasons that make absolutley no sense, Johnny says “no”. Which is ridiculous because for most of the movie, he hated being the Rider. And then its pretty much the end.
Now, there are some good aspects of this movie, which are the special effects, and the decent acting of Cage. He is likable enough to make an impact, so it’s not all that bad. The sad thing is, with the great look of GR, he doesnt really DO ANYTHING. He rides his bike, in some quickly cut driving scenes, but otherwise, his action relies on him standing, pointing, and holding guys. He whips his chain around sometimes, but never to much effect, except when getting rid of one thug. Which is sad, because he looks amazing. They did an amazing job bringing GR to the big screen, his look is great and the bike is cool. It’s just a shame he really isn’t used.
Well all in all, it wasn’t a terrible movie. Its a fun action flick if you’re bored, but nothing else. That said, I don’t think I would have even given it as much leeway if the main character wasn’t Ghost Rider. So take that as you will, and enjoy the show.
Posted originally: 2007-02-17 19:10:23
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