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The United States is already on its last legs following the failure of the Supreme Court, a radical left-wing organization, to overturn Obamacare. Now that the socialist healthcare plan is official, pinkoes everywhere are feeling emboldened. The latest attack against American exceptionalism comes in the form of a new Cyber Force comic by Top Cow's Marc Silvestri. Silvestri plans to fund the project on Kickstarter, and then release the comic for free digitally, including on torrent sites, known hotbeds of communism, and even to subsidize free print copies for his paper-loving comrades in local comic shops.
"While most everybody uses Kickstarter to fund a project in order to build it and then sell it, we at Top Cow are going to use the funds to build "Cyber Force" and give it away — for free! Plus we're not talking just one issue but five full issues of the comic. And it won't be free just digitally, but also as a full-color printed comic that will be available at any participating comic shop. So for people that want to read "Cyber Force" digitally — yes, including torrent sites — it's free. And for anyone wanting to hold a traditional comic in their hands to read it — it's still free," said Silvestri in an interview with LA Times.
What Silvestri isn't telling you, however, is that nothing is ever free. Who will be paying for these "free" copies? Silvestri says Kickstarter, but we know who will really pay: the taxpayers. Even worse, the comic will be digital, part of a phenomenom that all rational people are well aware will be the destruction of the comic book industry, costing hundreds of Americans their jobs - fat, socially awkward Americans who will likely be unemployable anywhere else outside the competitive eating circuit.
"This is an affront to the American people," said Glenda McStuffypants, chairman of the Cinicinatti, Ohio Tea Party. "With the government subsidizing free comics for everyone, what funds will be left for legitimate capitalist programs like Medicare and Social Security? All of this to screw over real Americans and support the comic reading habits of illegal homosexual aliens."
Indeed, lawbreaking homosexuals from outer space are a growing problem in this country, and this reporter has, quite frankly, had enough. Where can this intiative lead if not down a dark path of irresponsibility and big government hoogity-boogity? I wouldn't be surprised if the next idea pushed down the throats of regular, god-fearing Americans is an entire day dedicated to giving away comic books for free. Call it Free Comic Book Day or something like that.
The Outhouse will keep you posted when a Kickstarter campaign becomes available for this project so that readers can organize protests.
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror