Stan is said to be okay, but taking a short break from second-rate conventions in states that suck.
Source: Bleeding Cool
The Facebook page for Orlando, Florida's Megacon announced today that Stan "The Old Man and the" Lee has canceled his scheduled appearance at the convention, which was to take place from March 15 to March 17. The announcement follows last week's news that Lee canceled an appearance at Arizona Comic Con. Lee also canceled appearances in 2012, but it was later revealed that the 90 year old legend was undergoing bionic enhancements.
According to Megacon, Lee is "okay, but is taking a small break from convention appearances." However, a source inside the Lee camp tells The Outhouse that Lee is purposely avoiding Megacon because "Florida is a terrible place, worse than Ohio."
"If I didn't want to go to Ohio last year, why would I go to Florida, where people from Ohio go to die?" asked Lee, allegedly. "Seriously, there are more Ohioans in Florida's retirement communities than in Ohio itself. And don't get me started on all the old jews from New York and New Jersey. Oy vey!"
Lee apparently went on to cite a large Latino community, constant rainstorms, and the crocodile menace as further reasons to avoid the misleadingly named Sunshine State. "They've got insects the size of Dan Slott down there," said Lee, who was forced to admit that most giant water beetles would probably do a better job of writing Spider-Man.
"Also, fuck LeBron James and his shitty lockout title," added Lee. "He should have become a Knick."
While this article is obviously factually inaccurate, and The Outhouse hopes that Stan recovers fully and quickly from whatever illness he may or may not be suffering from, we do look forward to passive aggressive emails from women claiming to be "Stan Lee's publicists's niece" complaining about how mean we're being to Florida. We remind these and other humorless complainers that everyone copes with these things in their own way, and direct them to every other comic book website, who will be running headlines like "Oh Noes Stan Lee at Death's Door" to capitalize on Lee's possible illness with unique hits while feigning compassion.
Written or Contributed by Jude Terror
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