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Comic Book Fan Vandalizes French National Treasure

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Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:02 pm

Comic Book Fan Vandalizes French National Treasure

Eugène Delacroix’s famous 1830 painting, Liberty Leading the People, was vandalized by a comic book fan inside the Louvre.

Source: Some French Website

Reports surfaced today that the famous painting, Liberty Leading the People, was vandalized by a 28 year old woman as it was on display inside the Louvre in Paris. Liberty Leading the People, by Eugène Delacroix, is a a tableau of France's 1830 July Revolution, which is known in popular culture as "the revolt between the real one and the one where Wolverine sings a lot." The painting, which was originally banned by the Comics Code Authority, shows a topless babe leading a shotgun wielding Abraham Lincoln and an army of pirate cosplayers into battle over a pile of corpses on their way to Comic-Con. It has extreme historical significance as a record of Lincoln's overseas adventuring prior to his election as President of the United States, and also for its potential to be used as the basis for a new Jonathan Hickman project. The idea that Liberty, the woman in the painting, would bare her breasts while charging into battle has been an inspiration for the titillating but functionally inappropriate costumes that fighting woman in comics have worn ever since.

According to reports, the woman used a black marker to scrawl "AE911" on the painting, which many news organizations believe to be a reference to the Architects and Engineers for 911 Truth, a conspiracy theory organization. However, The Outhouse can exclusively reveal that graffiti was the result of a spelling error, and the woman actually meant to write "AU911," referring to Marvel's upcoming Age of Ultron event and the number of extraneous tie-in books that will be produced for it.

The vandalism was obviously an attempt to add an augmented reality code to the painting, allowing viewers to use their smartphones to access behind the scenes information about the Age of Ultron event. Marvel declined to comment on their responsibility for the crime, but a lawyer for the suspect told us that "blame must be placed on the major comic book publishers themselves, who have taught their readers to have absolutely no respect for art by employing creators such as Rob Liefeld and Greg Land for so many years."

The Outhouse's go-to source inside Paris, Comixology Europe president Pepé le Pew, assured us that there was no permanent damage to the painting. "Don't you worry, my sweet," said the lecherous cartoon skunk. "We will fix zis right up, no? And den maybe afterward, my darleeng, we shall retire to ze bedroom and make some art of our own! Oui oui? Poo poo! Haw haw!"

In response to the vandalization, the French government has dispatched a battalion of armed guards to watch over France's other national treasure, American comedian Jerry Lewis. Unfortunately, on their way to the comedian's Las Vegas residence, the entire battalion encountered the Fabulous Sin City Rollergirls, a local roller derby team, and promptly surrendered to them, leaving the 86 year old Lewis without any protection from hordes of comic book fans eager to write all over him with a Sharpie marker.

Written or Contributed by Jude Terror

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Expert Post Whore

Postby covalesky » Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:15 pm

I don't get it. Write on a wall lady, throw eggs at a government building, don't damage a painting.
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The Virgin Connie Swail

Postby Pink_Orchid » Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:29 pm

Break her thumbs. Seriously.

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