by BlueStreak » Mon May 14, 2012 10:00 am
Comic books have a villain problem, namely that there aren’t enough of them. When a villainous character has a particularly epic plot, it almost always ends with the villain’s (not really) permanent demise or an extended time off the table. Conversely, there are many heroes who, due to their statuses as fan favorites, have joined the side of angels. Doctor Doom, Sinestro, Magneto, the Joker, Venom, and the Juggernaut have all been portrayed as heroic characters in the last two years. In fact, there aren’t many villains who haven’t been “good guys” at one point or another in their careers.
While villains turning over a new leaf has always been part of superhero lore (half of the early Avengers were previously villains), there’s never been many heroes switching sides. Sure, Colossus briefly joined the Acolytes and Hal Jordan was possessed by a fear bug, but you never see any heroes truly, truly go dark. However, that might change with the current Avengers vs. X-Men and Trinity War events, as both events feature heroes fighting each other over teenage girls or crystal skulls.
So here’s a list of ten characters that should switch over to be villains because it a) replenish the stock of villains and b) would make for hilarious butthurts across the Internet.
1) Hank Pym
He’s beaten women, created killer robots and has switched identities more times than an undercover cop on Craigslist. Not only would it make sense, I think everyone on the Avengers are kind of waiting for it. Pym’s never been the most stable of people, so a switch to the dark side wouldn’t be that implausible. Should he go evil, he could probably even convince some of his students at the Avengers Academy to join him.
2) Wonder Woman
A common go-to Elseworlds trope is to have Wonder Woman leading a hostile nation of Amazons who spear fighter jets and fight tanks with swords. Why not do it for real? She’s one of only a few heroes that actually stand a chance against Superman and Batman would actually have a character conflict that didn’t involve his parents. Her country invaded America, she snapped a man’s neck for fun, and she keeps a closet full of swords in her bedroom “just in case”. As shown in Flashpoint, it would just take one bad day for her to switch sides and kill everything with a penis.
3) Wally West
Why not? No one at DC gives two craps about him right now and he’s got plenty to lose. Should the Justice League be somehow responsible for his family’s death (or their erasing from reality), he would do anything to try to bring them back.
4) Armstrong
Admittedly, I’ve never read a darn thing about this character, who’s one half of Valiant’s Archer and Armstrong team. However, he’s immortal, a drunk and has a tragic background. Since Valiant’s back, any one of their characters could go evil. Why not this one?
5) Shazam
We all know how well a naïve, irrepressibly positive Captain Marvel worked for DC. The character never took off and died a virgin at the hands of Wonder Woman in Flashpoint. Since the reboot, Geoff Johns decided to make the character a little bit more real and gritty and gave the fifteen year old Billy Batson an edge to him. However, I don’t think it goes far enough. Why not make him really dark and turn him into a dark anti-hero, who electrocutes his enemies and operates on the wrong side of the law? If Justin Bieber was a plausible villain on CSI, why not Billy Batson?
6) Wolverine
Wolverine’s character is pretty untouchable, but I just want this to happen so I can tell everyone I was right. Canadians go evil all the time due to the toxic mixture of Molson and maple syrup messing with their brain chemistry, so it personally wouldn’t surprise me. Also, I think it would be hilarious to see the Marvel Universe come to terms with the fact that their collective best friend (seriously, is there anyone that this gruff loner isn’t friends with?) is actually a smelly psychopath with a four figure body count.
7) Ultra Boy
The Legion’s boring. We have an 100 page thread dedicated to how much they suck and how poorly they sell. You know what would improve the book? Making a bunch of them villains. I chose Ultra Boy because I remembered his name, but since they all have cookie-cutter personalities you could really pick any one.
8) Spider-Man
If you haven’t figured out that I’m not taking this seriously, you should probably shoot yourself. Spider-Man’s turn as a villain would only be the third most controversial thing to ever happen to the character after the erasing of his Spider-Marriage and the cancellation of Spider-Girl for the fourteenth time.
9) Krypto
Evil alien dog killing heroes left and right? Who wouldn’t buy the crap out of that book? (I really, really needed to come up with a few fillers here).
10) Captain America
In a perfect world, Captain America wouldn’t be evil. However, that perfect world would also feature America not fighting in three simultaneous wars, oppressing minorities with unlawful amendments to their state constitutions or having a worst healthcare system than Zimbabwe. Should Cap decide to switch sides, perhaps to bring back a more idealized, less fucked up America, who would say he isn’t right?
So what characters do you think should go evil? How many people are pissed off right now that I included their favorite character on the list? How stupid was I for forgetting to keep Cyclops, who is totally evil and is such a no-brainer? Please leave your angry comments and unique hits in the comments.
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