The Outhouse - The Greatest Comic Book Forum

by **dairydead** » Fri May 25, 2012 5:40 pm

Seeing the thread about bubba the other day, and seeing all the great advice, i thought i would see what you guys think about my situation.

Some history here:
About a month ago i was promoted to supervisor of my department (Guest Services) at Henryford Museum and Greenfield Village, which was great. My ex's mother is a fellow supervisor, and even after we broke up vouched for me and was a huge factor in my promotion. I still work with my ex, and now I'm her boss.

My ex has spent the last several months talking shit about me to people we work with, and spreading rumors, etc. and i have been taking this with grace, just brushing it off as something inevitable (she is my ex after all, i get it), and people already know me and would never change their opinions about me just because shes being mean.

Anyways, this attitude she has is being noticed by just about everyone, and just about everyone in the department apart from my boss is sick and tired of her bullshit, and this is even made worse by the fact that my boss wants to promote her potentially.

So, of course, I've spent the better half of the last three weeks trying to avoid these people talking shit about my ex, as to avoid unneeded drama ( and to be honest, because i think shes a cool girl and i still appreciate her). I've slipped up a few times and admitted that i don't believe shes a very good fit because of her attitude, but I've gone out of my way to be as professional as possible.

So the other day, she did something extremely typical of everything people have been complaining about and my boss called her out on it. She got really defensive, and kept on asking me why my boss is being so hard on her. I explained to her that she needs to start being more aware that there is an added pressure on her to do well because of the possible promotion (something that her mother has already told her about) and that people are always gonna have opinions about it, and she needs to be aware that people are getting very critical about it.

She flipped out and started crying and demanding that i tell her who's "talking shit about her" and i assured her that there was nothing like that going on. She continued with that for about 15 minutes, and then called her mother, who called me on my cell phone to chastise me for "being unprofessional and causing drama".

i asked a few people for advice in how to handle her, and how i could let her know i was just looking out for her best interest, but that blew up in my face too. I now have a scheduled meeting with my boss and my ex and her mom so that i can be tought some professionalism.

I kind of feel like im getting ganged up on and getting set up for humiliation, and i dont like it one bit. I don't know how to handle this situation, or how to handle the meeting on tuesday. Its just frustrating.

i know this shit is long, thanks for reading if you made it this far.

by **Keb** » Fri May 25, 2012 5:43 pm

I went there when I was a kid!

by **bkthomson** » Fri May 25, 2012 5:46 pm

Here is what you do. Avoid her at all cost until the meeting. In the explain the situation as you saw it to your boss and then point out the problems that your boss as seen before and layout what you tried to do. It might not be a gang up but defend your position with politeness and do not take the bait of getting hysterical let your ex do that.

by **bkthomson** » Fri May 25, 2012 5:46 pm

Also post meeting. Avoid her at all cost. People talk about her walk away or ask to change the subject.

by **Lord Simian** » Fri May 25, 2012 5:49 pm

Well, for starters, I don't know how professional it is, on your boss' behalf, to bring your ex's mother into that meeting if the plan is to come down on you. If the drama is between you and your ex, as go-workers, then it's inappropriate to bring another employee in there. Doubly so if it's also her mother. If I were in your situation, I would consider expressing to your boss ahead of time what you said here, and just tell your boss you don't really feel comfortable with the meeting, as proposed....

by **dairydead** » Fri May 25, 2012 5:55 pm

bkthomson wrote:Here is what you do. Avoid her at all cost until the meeting. In the explain the situation as you saw it to your boss and then point out the problems that your boss as seen before and layout what you tried to do. It might not be a gang up but defend your position with politeness and do not take the bait of getting hysterical let your ex do that.

These past couple weeks has seen about a dozen employees try to unload complaints about my ex to me. I've gone out of my way to say, "talk to our boss about it, i can't say anything" and even had a sit down meeting with my boss last week about it, letting him know how difficult it has been to avoid speaking about it.

I'm just more or less stressed that something so small, something well meaning, and something so insignificant is being used to crucify me, especially when my ex's mom has never ever upheld any of this "professionalism" BS to me (throughout the years, shes given her opinion to everyone about how great she thinks i am, and shes told me plenty of private things that go on around here before i was promoted)

by **Jubilee** » Fri May 25, 2012 5:59 pm

You need to stop worrying about it. At the end of the day all she's done is tell every other female how terrible you are in bed and how you never satisfied her, and now whenever the workers look at you they imagine you flailing around with your flaccid penis trying desperately to stimulate anything.

by **dairydead** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:08 pm

Jubilee wrote:You need to stop worrying about it. At the end of the day all she's done is tell every other female how terrible you are in bed and how you never satisfied her, and now whenever the workers look at you they imagine you flailing around with your flaccid penis trying desperately to stimulate anything.

it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into imagining my penis. :smt007

by **dairydead** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:20 pm

I just don't know if it will be worth it to fight this, but instead just take it and say "yeah, i was wrong, I'll do better next time" I just don't know if there's a middle ground

by **nietoperz** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:21 pm

I say stand your ground. They are messing with your reputation, and it's imperative you defend yourself.

by **Victorian Squid** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:25 pm

I have no advice for you, but here's a book cover with Henry Ford being patted on the back by a Klansman:

by **dairydead** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:26 pm

nietoperz wrote:I say stand your ground. They are messing with your reputation, and it's imperative you defend yourself.

My biggest fear is that I won't be able to, my ex's mom is the most beloved person around here and i owe her a lot personally. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out if itll be worth all of it, especially if i actually was being unprofessional

I mean, from what I've said, does any of what I've done sound overly unprofessional?

by **dairydead** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:27 pm

McDarkseid wrote:I have no advice for you, but here's a book cover with Henry Ford being patted on the back by a Klansman:

thanks. whats your point?

by **Jubilee** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:27 pm

dairydead wrote:
it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into imagining my penis.

You could satisfy me :drunk

by **Thunderstorm** » Fri May 25, 2012 6:33 pm

Just tell your side of the story and don't let this psycho woman get to you. Then, one day when she's out to lunch, put a bottle of extra-strength Valtrex on her desk.