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Can Marilyn Manson SAVE ROCK N' ROLL?!

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, June 11 2007 and posted in Blog
Can Marilyn Manson's new album, Eat Me Drink Me, save rock and roll? Read on to find out...

Somewhere around the mid-nineties, rock music as I used to know and love died a slow and painful death, making way for utter crap like Nu Metal, Emo, and the disgusting celebrity-worshiping, over privileged pop music scene that is around today. When I think back on what the "new" generation was listening to in the fifties, the sixties, the seventies, the eighties, and even the nineties, music was getting more hardcore and badass with each generation. Kids sought out and ate up the kind of music that would scare the crap out of their parents. It had to be louder, heavier, more offensive, more sexual, more satanic than the music that their parents listened to.

Now, the music that "kids these days" listen to is less likely to make their parents scared, and more likely to make them ashamed. Emo sucks. It's not the message behind it. Yes, music should come from the heart, be emotional, but people made music that came from the heart for years without making whiny, crying little pussy music that makes me feel ashamed to be an American. Furthermore, Emo just takes the lamest parts of everything else, metal, punk, goth, and throws it all together without any of the balls or originality, and tops it off with a haircut that looks like Nikki Sixx circa 1986 when he just woke up in the morning. It's entirely unoriginal, boring, and lame.

It's not just emo though. What is up with people thinking that Linkin Park is a good band. Don't people know they're just the Backstreet Boys with guitars? I don't know what's wrong with me, but I keep giving people more credit than they deserve. I thought that people KNEW that Linkin Park were pre-fabricated, boy band garbage with a mall metal makeover. But then I wake up one day and everyone, including ADULTS are anxiously awaiting their new album. Wha? Huh? I thought only teenage girls liked bands like that. Guess I was wrong.  Doesn't anyone know what innovative, original music is anymore?

So anyway, what does this have to do with Eat Me Drink Me? Well, when I got this album, popped it in the cd player, and listened to it, I was at first quite shocked. Except for a few tracks, this is definitely not Marilyn Manson like I've ever heard him before. However, after a few listens, I realized that this is Manson's way of validating everything I just said about how much music sucks. Manson knows it sucks. You don't put out stuff like Anti-Christ Superstar and then think that the poser crap that's out today is somehow hardcore. He even says it himself in Mutilation is the Sincerest form of Flattery: "The young get less bolder, the legends get older, but I stay the same."

The young get less bolder. That's exactly how I feel. Kids today would pee their pants if they got stuck in a time warp and wound up back in my teenage years. Drugs, sex, heavy metal, punk rock, Satan, my teenage years were a blur of decadence and debauchery. They were what being a teenager was all about. This lame, Mickey-Mouse version of youth subculture that's going around today makes me absolutely sick. Kids today have nothing new or revolutionary to say. They are MTV-worshipping, reality-show-living, Paris-Hilton-wannabeing wastes of oxygen. Today's generation is truly a generation of spoiled pussies.

The legends get older.
Let's face it, who's left putting out good music? Ozzy is just sad. Axl Rose is a joke. The older bands, like those sell-out bitches Metallica, are corporate softies. Then you have dinosaurs like Aerosmith and the Stones. It's all really sad. It would be okay if something new were coming along to take their place, but it isn't -  just lame, generic, rehashed, whiny posers making crappy music for a crappy generation.

But I stay the same...
Like Manson, here I am, stuck in a world where I just can't believe how much everything sucks. Yeah, I'm old, almost thirty, but this isn't some "kids these days" jealous rant. I'm not jealous. I'm not shocked and offended by your youthful antics. I'm actually ashamed of all of you. I hope that my daughter grows up to find some music to listen to that will shock and offend me, but I'm fairly certain she won't. She'll like whatever ten year from now equivalent there is of My Chemical Romance, some boring, pre-fabricated, over-rated crap that everyone else likes, and I will be a sad old man.

Thankfully, here in my "twilight" years, I've got Marilyn Manson to put out an incredible album, full of ass-kicking hard rock guitar solos and classic, poetic rock lyrics that remind me of a time when people actually took some pride in their craft. Eat Me, Drink Me is the album Guns N Roses should have put out ten years ago. It is a total, balls-out, kick-ass early nineties hard rock record as played through the modern perspective of modern glam rocker Marilyn Manson.

Tracks like Mutilation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery and You and Me and the Devil Makes Three are standard Marilyn Manson, all Satanic and pissed off. Mutilation is notable for it's indictment of the modern music scene as I described earlier. The chorus says it all: FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU TOO.

Tracks like Putting Holes in Happiness and They Said That Hell's Not Hot have to be lost Guns N Roses songs from the Use Your Illusion sessions, a breath of fresh air in today's boring, awesome-guitar-solo-free world. Tracks like The Red Carpet Grave and Putting Holes in Happiness are total eighties new-wave/synth-pop/post-punk/gothic goodness, with, of course, Manson's own distinguished flavor. Then you have tracks like the title track and If I Was Your Vampire that capture the melancholy perfection that made albums like Mechanical Animals so classic. But then, on top of all this, there's tracks like Are You the Rabbit, Evidence and Just a Car Crash Away that are in their own separate world.

Is this album all over the place? Surprisingly, no. When you put all this stuff together, you get a unified, overall theme of upbeat nihilism. Manson wrote this album from the heart, coming out of his recent divorce, and it is both personal and iconic in a way that only the most classic albums are able to achieve. Listen to this album as loud as your speakers go, and it will get you high like pure musical heroin.

Marilyn Manson is quite possibly the ONLY artist today putting out good music. Maybe, MAYBE Velvet Revolver's next album will continue the trend. This album kicks all of your asses, and if you don't like it, it's because you're lame and you have no taste. But don't take that as an insult. It's your world now, and you can make it as generic and boring as you want, I suppose. Trust me, more people agree with you than they do with me.  I'm just a bitter old man.

Posted originally: 2007-06-11 20:11:49

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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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