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    Sweet Rebecca (Poem for Valentine's Days)

    Sweet Rebecca was a pretty little thing
    Who believed in love but kept getting flings.
    Her lips were red as the color of blood
    And her heart longed for a man to love.
    Sweet Rebecca met Mark with eyes blue like the sea
    But he had two left feet and could not match a beat.
    Sweet Rebecca danced well with Chris
    But his kiss could not give her bliss.
    It was Chip who had the talented lips
    But his face was filled with leaky zits.
    Sean had a wonderful complexion, face with clarity
    But had the most foul personality.
    Sarah though had a wonderful heart, as if woven
    But Rebecca remembered she was straight and Sarah was a woman.
    Then Rebecca met Drake who had just the right sized penis
    But his face kept reminding her of a deformed fetus.
    Rebecca met Jamie, handsome with a chiseled jaw
    But his chest was saggy and torso was a bore.
    Jason, though, had just the perfect pecs and abs
    But one day died in an accident in his science lab.
    “What should I do?” Sweet Rebecca asked herself
    Then an idea hit her head after finding a stitch in Jason’s shelf.
    She met Mark again and cut out his blue eyes like the sea
    And chopped off Chris’ talented and lovely right and left feet.
    Sweet Rebecca ripped off Chip’s soft lips
    And skinned Sean’s face that had no zits.
    She cut out Sarah’s bloody beating heart
    And also Drake’s right size penis and kept him apart.
    She also detached Jamie’s chiseled jaw
    And her smile lit up like a bright star
    As she thought to put together all the pieces like a fine puzzle
    She wondered if it’d be a struggle.
    Sweet Rebecca returned to Jason’s science lab
    And admired every pack of his hard shaped abs.
    Days and weeks and months went by
    And finally that one day she let out a sigh.
    She finally created the perfect man And decided to name him Dan.
    He had blues eyes like the sea
    And could match a beat.
    He had kissable lips
    And had no zits.
    He had a great heart you couldn’t buy with a dime
    Whose penis fit her with just the right size.
    He had a wonderful strong jaw
    And each second of the day it was Rebecca he adored.
    Of course he had the nice abs and great chest
    And Rebecca loved Dan with all the best.

    Rebecca and Dan lived happily ever after.

    Sweet Rebecca was a pretty little thing
    Who believed in love but kept getting flings.
    Her lips were red as the color of blood
    And her heart longed for a man to love.
    Sweet Rebecca met Mark with eyes blue like the sea
    But he had two left feet and could not match a beat.
    Sweet Rebecca danced well with Chris
    But his kiss could not give her bliss.
    It was Chip who had the talented lips
    But his face was filled with leaky zits.
    Sean had a wonderful complexion, face with clarity
    But had the most foul personality.
    Sarah though had a wonderful heart, as if woven
    But Rebecca remembered she was straight and Sarah was a woman.
    Then Rebecca met Drake who had just the right sized penis
    But his face kept reminding her of a deformed fetus.
    Rebecca met Jamie, handsome with a chiseled jaw
    But his chest was saggy and torso was a bore.
    Jason, though, had just the perfect pecs and abs
    But one day died in an accident in his science lab.
    “What should I do?” Sweet Rebecca asked herself
    Then an idea hit her head after finding a stitch in Jason’s shelf.
    She met Mark again and cut out his blue eyes like the sea
    And chopped off Chris’ talented and lovely right and left feet.
    Sweet Rebecca ripped off Chip’s soft lips
    And skinned Sean’s face that had no zits.
    She cut out Sarah’s bloody beating heart
    And also Drake’s right size penis and kept him apart.
    She also detached Jamie’s chiseled jaw
    And her smile lit up like a bright star
    As she thought to put together all the pieces like a fine puzzle
    She wondered if it’d be a struggle.
    Sweet Rebecca returned to Jason’s science lab
    And admired every pack of his hard shaped abs.
    Days and weeks and months went by
    And finally that one day she let out a sigh.
    She finally created the perfect man And decided to name him Dan.
    He had blues eyes like the sea
    And could match a beat.
    He had kissable lips
    And had no zits.
    He had a great heart you couldn’t buy with a dime
    Whose penis fit her with just the right size.
    He had a wonderful strong jaw
    And each second of the day it was Rebecca he adored.
    Of course he had the nice abs and great chest
    And Rebecca loved Dan with all the best.

    Rebecca and Dan lived happily ever after.

    Posted originally: 2010-02-14 23:31:00
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    About the Author - Greg


    Greg DAE is a Brooklyn born film-maker, writer, actor, and horror/comic fiend. He was one of the first writers of The Outhouse and one of the two original Bludnet writers. One day he’ll be an accomplished comic book writer…. Or else.

     

     

     


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