Tuesday, December 18, 2018 • Morning Edition • "In this issue: an Outhouser will DIE!"

Halloween costume of the Year (so far): A little Vols fan as Derek Dooley.

Halloween costume of the Year (so far): A little Vols fan as Derek Dooley.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 26, 2011

Aw, how cute! Someone's going as Derek Dooley for Halloween. The fact that the kid's parent's had to resort to some kind of bizzare Elvis-looking plactic hair-helmet to match His Hairness' perfect coif is a little unsettling, though. (via Busted Coverage) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Crossing the Atlantic: Clemson, Paul Johnson, and...Pat Fitzgerald?

Crossing the Atlantic: Clemson, Paul Johnson, and...Pat Fitzgerald?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 26, 2011

Eight-Ball just came back from seeing Paranormal Activity 3 (Crossing the Atlantic is a look at the ACC, Big East and other schools on the East Coast.)  Talent Pool. A comparison of Clemson and Georgia Tech's recruited talent. Needless to say, Clemson comes out on top. (Shakin' the Southland) Stand By Your Man. Georgia Tech head football coach Paul Johnson defends Yellow Jacket quarterback Tevin Washington. (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Plenty of seats available.  ACC schools are finding it tougher to fill the seats in their stadiums. (The Daily Press) Disappointed a few people. The Baltimore Sun asks whether Maryland or Navy has been the most disappointing team in the Old Line State. (The Baltimore Sun) Northwestern's Pat Fitzgerald should be North Carolina's new head football coach. Because Chadd Scott said so. Shut up, Chadd. I'm hoping UGA taps Fitzgerald to replace Mark Richt (when the time comes). (ChuckOliver.net) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unquiet on the Western Front: Cliff Harris, Boise State, and (sigh) Mike Leach.

Unquiet on the Western Front: Cliff Harris, Boise State, and (sigh) Mike Leach.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 26, 2011

(Unquiet on the Western Front is SWRT's look at the Pac-12, WAC, Mountain West, and other West Coast/Rocky Mountain schools extravaganza.)  Arizona should hire Mike Leach as its new head football porch.  Because Dan Bickley said so. (The Arizona Republic) Call the Shots. Arizona quarterback Nick Foles was handling play calling in the Wildcats' victory over UCLA. (The Arizona Republic) Disappointed a few people.  Oregon Coach Chip Kelly describes the arrest of now-suspended cornerback Cliff Harris for driving on a suspended license as "very disappointing." (ESPN) Obvious and uninspiring Andrew Luck pun of the day. "Stanford's Luck has yet to run out." (The Daily Breeze) Tuel out for season? Washington State quarterback Jeff Tuel went to the emergency room due to complications caused by acute compartment syndrome. He could possibly miss the remainder of the season. (CougCenter) Speak No Evil. Cal head football coach Jeff Tedford has told his team to keep mum about the six suspensions received by UCLA players as a result of the brawl during the Bruins' loss to Arizona. Cal plays UCLA on Saturday. (San Jose Mercury News) Utah's QB situation is a mess.  Because Lya Wodraska said so. (The Salt Lake Tribune) Scary thought for the week before Halloween. Air Force's fake punt attempt against Boise State almost worked. (One Bronco Nation Under God) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Andrew Luck is the "Perfect QB."  Because Lane Kiffin said so.

Andrew Luck is the "Perfect QB." Because Lane Kiffin said so.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 26, 2011

Guess which Pac-12 quarterback who doesn't play for USC was praised by Trojan head football coach Lane Kiffin? You guessed it, Stanford's Andrew Luck. Kiffin went as far as comparing him to that other famous Stanford QB, John Elway. "I don't know how you could find a more efficient quarterback that's ever played college football," Kiffin said Tuesday. "If you put his numbers up, what he's done, wins and losses and red-zone production. ... He's pretty much perfect."  Asked later if he really meant what he said and wasn't just trying to hype up USC's opponent this week, Kiffin stood by it.  "I do believe that, and I'm not the only one," he said. "People have been saying that for two years. You hear draft people say that he's the best quarterback prospect since Elway. You had a team come out and say before he declared that he was going to be the No. 1 pick in the draft.  "I can't imagine that's been said many times, ever."  Matt Barkley should be so thrilled to hear his coach heaping massive helpings of praise to the QB of the team USC is meeting this Saturday. Then again this could be the some kind of psychological mind games Kiffin is playing on Barkley to get his game up to spoil the Cardinal's BCS title hopes. (via ESPN) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Nick Saban, Aaron Murray, Tyler Bray, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Nick Saban, Aaron Murray, Tyler Bray, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 25, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)  Bye, Bye, Bye. Edward Aschoff looks at how Alabama and LSU are spending the bye week both teams have before their Nov. 5 showdown. (ESPN) It's Getting Better All the Time. Alabama head coach Nick Saban says quarterback AJ McCarron is continuing to improve. (Mobile Press-Register) Aaron Murray is Georgia's best chance to beat Florida. Because Fletcher Proctor said so. (ChuckOliver.net) Mark Richt on the Hot Seat? The Georgia-Florida game revives Hot Seat chatter over UGA head football coach Mark Richt's future in Athens. (The Telegraph (Macon, Ga.) See You Later, Alligators.  Florida tight end Gerald Christian and wide receiver Robert Clark are planning to transfer. (Only Gators Get Out Alive) He said, he said. Tennessee star quarterback Tyler Bray tweets that he'll be back on the field faster than people think. His coach, Derek Dooley doesn't think so. (The Knoxville News Sentinel) The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday. South Carolina will find it difficult to replace running back Marcus Lattimore. (ESPN) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

West Virginia reportedly headed to the Big 12.

West Virginia reportedly headed to the Big 12.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 25, 2011

Missouri hasn't left the Big 12 for the SEC yet (and let's continue to pray that somehow doesn't happen, shall we?), but it appears that there's already a school ready to take it's place. And that school is West Virginia.  "West Virginia is headed to the Big 12, according to a person with direct knowledge of the situation, a move that leaves the Big East with five football programs and an uncertain future. The person said Tuesday that the Mountaineers had “applied and are accepted,” leaving only legal entanglements from making the move official. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because the deal had not been formally announced." Even though West Virginia is half a country or so away from the heart of the Big 12, this move just feels right somehow.  Unlike Missouri to the SEC, West Virginia looks like it could slip into the rough-and-tumble regional culture of the Big 12 comfortably. Hide you kids and hide your wives, Big 12. And hide your couches as well. (via The New York Times) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Ohio State's new Nike Pro Combat uniform looks sad.

Ohio State's new Nike Pro Combat uniform looks sad.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 25, 2011

Be very afraid, Ohio State fans, for you are about to enter Nike Pro Combat Hell. Here is the new Nike Pro Combat uniform Ohio State will be wearing for its game against Wisconsin at the Horseshoe. If you thought the unis Georgia wore getting its beatdown by Boise State in the  Chick-fil-A Kickoff game were bad, you might want to cover your eyes. Or at least go hide the icepicks before you look at the image a bit too close. Is Nike even trying anymore? This year's batch of Pro Combat unis have for the most part been ranging from boring to downright boring. At least Under Armour hasn't done that so far this year. On the other hand, Nike hasn't come up with a Freudian nightmare like Maryland's state flag inspired uni that looked like Garth Brooks and Harley Quinn's mutant lovechild, either. And the helmet looks way too sadly familiar. As in looking way too much like Georgia's from the front. Nike has been pretty much shooting blanks this year when it comes to alternate unis. It might be just a fluke year, or proof that Uncle Phil's House of Fashion is running out of ideas. (via Kegs 'N Eggs) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Dancing in the Ruins: Justin Blackmon, Seth Doege, Turner Gill, and more.

Dancing in the Ruins: Justin Blackmon, Seth Doege, Turner Gill, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 25, 2011

(Dancing in the Ruins is SWRT's look at the Big XII Conference. Or at least what's left of it.)   Please Don't Go.  The Big 12 board of directors wants Missouri to stay in the conference. (Rivals.com) Use Your Delusion. In spite of Oklahoma's loss to Texas Tech, the Sooners are still competing for a shot at the BCS title game. Because Oklahoma running back Roy Finch said so. (The Tulsa World) Seth Doege for Heisman?  Texas Tech quarterback Seth Doege should be considered as a Heisman Trophy candidate. Because Red Raiders head coach Tommy Tuberville said so. (The Dallas Morning News) Blackmon okay to play? Oklahoma State wide receiver Justin Blackmon,  who was taken out of the Cowboys' win over Missouri after showing symptoms of a concussion, has reportedly been cleared to play in Saturday's game against Baylor. (The Tulsa World) Kansas head football coach Turner Gill on the Hot Seat? Kansas head football coach Turner Gill on the Hot Seat. (Dr. Saturday) Running Down a Dream.  Texas may depend on its running game against Kansas. (The Austin American-Statesman) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Kirk Cousins, Keith Nichol, Dan Persa, and more.

Big Tentacles: Kirk Cousins, Keith Nichol, Dan Persa, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 25, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)  What a long, strange trip it's been. Matt Charboneau looks at the divergent paths of Kirk Cousins and Keith Nichol, who competed for the starting QB at Michigan State in 2009. Nichol later switched to wide receiver, and was responsible for catching Cousins' Hail-Mary pass that led to the Spartans' last-second victory over Wisconsin. (The Detroit News) Share and share alike.  Cousins shares the Big Ten's offensive player of the week award with Iowa wide receiver Marvin McNutt. (The Detroit Free Press) Rewriting the record books.  Meanwhile,  McNutt is set to break several Iowa records this season. (Black Heart Gold Pants) I have given a name to my pain.  Phil Mitten tries to define the level of Wisconsin's loss to Michigan State, which he places at The Stomach Punch level on Bill Simmons's infamous Levels of Losing. (Bucky's 5th Quarter) Your mind powers will not work on me, Sparty. Nebraska is working on focusing on it's own performance, and not worrying about Michigan State's growing reputation of not being able not to play nice with others. (The Omaha World-Herald) That which does not kill Dan Persa makes him questionable for gametime.  Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa  is listed as questionable for the Wildcats' upcoming game against Indiana after receiving a toe injury in his left foot in the Wildcats' loss to Penn State. That is the same foot where he suffered his season-ending Achilles tendon injury last year. (The Chicago Tribune) This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends... Despite Penn State quarterback Matt McGloin's success in last Saturday's game against Northwestern, Nittany Lion head coach still isn't ready to name him the  full-time starting QB over Rob Bolden. (The Patriot-News) Don't count your Buckeye coaches before they hatch. Bob Hunter tries to pour some cold water on the speculation about Ohio State's next head football coach (especially that speculation involving Urban Meyer) while the NCAA is still investigating Tresselgate. (The Columbus Dispatch) Notre Dame gave up on USC. Because USC QB Matt Barkley said so. Shut up, Matt. (Dr. Saturday) RichRod on the shelf.  Three and Out by John Bacon, which looks at the Rich Rodriguez coaching era at Michigan, comes out Tuesday. (CBS Sports) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Pat Angerer declares Iowa its own soverign nation.

Pat Angerer declares Iowa its own soverign nation.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 24, 2011

The Indianapolis Colts' long national nightmare without quarterback Peyton Manning seems to be taking its toll on linebacker Pat Angerer. He's begun to think his alma mater of Iowa is its own country. "The United State of Iowa?"  Granted, years of reading Black Heart Gold Pants will convince anyone that Iowa is its own state of mind, and one that usually requires some form of controlled substance to get to (legal or otherwise). Angerer's comments on Sunday Night Football takes the cake, however. Declaring Iowa as a sovereign nation is truly an act of bravado that can only come after weeks of a kind of humiliation that even drafting Andrew Luck won't ever completely compensate for.  (via Black Heart Gold Pants) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: LSU-Alabama, Trent Richardson, Brandon Boykin, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: LSU-Alabama, Trent Richardson, Brandon Boykin, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 24, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)  One, two! One, two! And through and through. LSU and Alabama hold down the one and two spots respectively in the second iteration of the BCS standings. (ESPN) Adjust your schedules appropriately. CBS moves the LSU-Alabama showdown on November 5 to 8:00 PM EDT. (ChuckOliver.net) The future in now.  The November 5 LSU-Alabama showdown may well be the biggest game ever played in the history of Bryant-Denny Stadium. (al.com) Making a stance. Izzy Gould looks at Alabama running back Trent Richardson's chances for the Heisman Trophy hopes after the Tide's victory over Tennessee, and on the cusp of the LSU-Alabama game. (al.com) Justin Worley is (red)shirtless.  Tennessee's struggles without an injured Tyler Bray results in the activation of previously redshirted freshman quarterback Justin Worley. (Knoxville News Sentinel) Florida needs an consistent offense. Because Jeff Barlis said so. (The Gainesville Sun) Boykin on Boykin.  Georgia cornerback Brandon Boykin gives some tips to Atlanta Journal-Constitution on reporter Stave Hummer on how to "approach" a story on Brandon Boykin. Because if you're a reporter for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, you need all the help you can get. (The Atlanta-Journal Constitution) Use Your Delusion. Doug Murray mocks Florida by touting Georgia's dominance against the Gators. (There aren't enough drugs in the world to explain this one (legal, synthetic, or otherwise). (SB Nation Atlanta) Come On to the Future. Georgia offensive coordinator Mike Bobo spent last weekend's scouting for the "UGA's QB of the future."  Most Dawg fans hope Bobo isn't a part of that future. (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Blue-eyed dressed for every situation.  Auburn first-time starting QB Clint Moseley sees the Tiger's defeat by LSU as "a learning situation." (al.com) This is for the questions that don't have any answers. Dan Mullen and Mississippi State spent the Bulldogs' bye week looking for the answers to the team's struggles this season. (The Clarion-Ledger) SEC Bowl Predictions. If you're a Kentucky or Ole Miss fan, don't bother clicking on the link. (ESPN) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles, Special Michigan State victory over Wisconsin edition.

Big Tentacles, Special Michigan State victory over Wisconsin edition.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 23, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets. This special edition highlights Saturday nights' dramatic Michigan State win over Wisconsin)     One for the Ages.  Michigan State defeated the Badgers in dramatic last-second fashion in an absolute game for the ages. If this game wasn't an Instant Classic for ESPN Classic, then nothing is.  (Rivals.com) And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder.  Wisconsin's hopes for a BCS championship appearance (along with those of the Big Ten, in all probability) pretty much came crashing down in East Lansing.(The Wisconsin State Journal) Master and Commander.  Credit Michigan St. QB Kirk Cousins directions to running back Le’Veon Bell on a pivotal third down were key to setting up the Spartans' last second touchdown against Wisconsin. (The Detroit Free Press) Michigan St. victory proves instant replay works in sports. Because Andrew Wagner said so. (OnMilwaukee.com) Hero of the Day.  Former Oklahoma QB Keith Nichol transferred to Michigan St. hoping to lead the Spartans to victory under center. Instead, he became a wide receiver and scored the dramatic last-second winning touchdown against Wisconsin, guaranteeing him football immortality in East Lansing. (The Lansing State Journal) Let's Twist Again. Michigan State's victory over Wisconsin could in all probability prove to be merely a preview of the first Big Ten Championship game in Indianapolis on Dec. 3. (The Detroit News) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Game Day Goulash: Kirk Cousins, Tyrann Mathieu, Lee Corso, and more.

Game Day Goulash: Kirk Cousins, Tyrann Mathieu, Lee Corso, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 22, 2011

(Game Day Goulash is SWRT's  all-encompassing Game Day college football extravaganza.)     Upset in the Carrier Dome.  Syracuse upsets fellow Big East school (for now) West Virginia 49-23. (Rivals.com) LSU in stealth mode.  LSU is still keeping silent in regards to the reported suspensions Tyrann Mathieu, Spencer Ware,  Tharold Simon for failing drug tests. (The Shreveport Times) Rick Neuheisel on the Hot Seat? What do you think? (The Los Angeles Times) Under the Radar.  Michigan State Quarterback Kirk Cousins' success this season is getting overshadowed by things such as William Gholston's suspension. (MLive.com) Out of the frying pan in to the fire.  Michigan State's defense goes from shutting down Michigan QB Denard Robinson last Saturday to facing Wisconsin and its star QB Russell Wilson. (The Detroit News) Head Games. Today's ESPN College GameDay in East Lansing, MI for the Wisconsin-Michigan St. game  marks the 200th time Lee Corso dons a mascot head during the pics segment. That joke isn't funny anymore. (The Oakland Press) On the road and on the ropes.  Georgia Tech finds itself in a must-win situation on the road against Miami if the Yellow Jackets want to keep their hopes for an ACC championship alive. (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) For the Boys. Georgia head football coach Mark Richt is spending the Bulldog's bye week by watching oldest son Jon Richt's football game at Mars Hill College, and second oldest son's David perform at a venue in Atlanta. (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

EPIC FAIL: Charter Cable Resurrects the Hartford Whalers.

EPIC FAIL: Charter Cable Resurrects the Hartford Whalers.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 22, 2011

(Way off topic, but this is my blog, dangit!) This is a shot of my TV of the Charter Cable TV Guide listings for FOX Sports South with the listing for the Hartford Whalers - St. Louis Blues replay on Friday night. . Apparently, nobody told Charter cable that the Whalers left Hartford and became the Carolina Panthers back in 1997. And no, the Hurricanes weren't wearing retro jerseys tonight, either. Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tyrann Mathieu, Missouri, and...The Human Centipede?

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tyrann Mathieu, Missouri, and...The Human Centipede?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 21, 2011

They'll be back? Suspended LSU players Tyrann Mathieu, Spencer Ware, and Tharold Simon, who reportedly tested positive for synthetic marijuana use  could be off suspension  in time to play against Alabama. (CBS Sports) In an ironically related story... Alabama freshman running back Brent Calloway was arrested for possession of marijuana. And not the synthetic kind either. (Rivals.com) Standing in the Shadows of Love. Paul W. Bryant Jr. discusses his life as the son of the legendary Alabama head football coach Bear Bryant. (The Crimson White) One step closer to the edge.  The University of Missouri's governing curators give school chancellor Brady Deaton the power to leave the Big 12 on the way to applying to join the SEC. (ESPN)  The Tennessee-Alabama football rivalry must survive SEC expansion. Because Tennessee athletic director (and Alabama alum) Dave Hart said so. (Knoxville News-Sentinel) The Winter of the state of Florida's discontent. Next weekend's Georgia-Florida game comes at a remarkable down point in the history of college football in the Sunshine State where Florida, FSU, and Miami are all unranked. It still doesn't mean that Georgia is going to win next week, though. (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Aggie Flesh is his fantasy.  Texas A&M's move to the SEC transformed into a retelling of The Human Centipede.  Gee, the image of the Aggie male cheerleader Yell Leader used here looks strangely familiar for some reason. (Wide Right and Natty Light) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!