Tuesday, June 30, 2015 • Midnight Edition • "The place to talk some shit."
Janzen Jackson is an ex-Tennessee Volunteer.

Janzen Jackson is an ex-Tennessee Volunteer.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 24, 2011

The long, strange trip of Janzen Jackson's time at Tennessee has come to a close. The embattled safety left school during spring semester to handle what were referred to as "personal problems" before returning to the program during the summer. Now reports say he has been dismissed from the team. Vols' head football coach Derek Dooley commented on the dismissal. “Our program has devoted a tremendous amount of energy, resources, support, and care in an effort to help Janzen manage his personal challenges,” Dooley said in the release.  “I will always be there to help him as a person, but there comes a time when a player’s actions preclude him from the privilege of playing for the University of Tennessee football team. “Although I’m disappointed with this outcome, we will never compromise the long-term organizational values and goals we maintain here at Tennessee.” No word as to why the departure has taken place. (via Knoxville News Sentinel) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Dan Persa, Russell Wilson, Jerry Kill, and more.

Big Tentacles: Dan Persa, Russell Wilson, Jerry Kill, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 24, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)       There's strong, and then there's PersaStrong. Adam Rittenberg details how Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa's discipline and training in the weight room inspired the "PersaStrong" Heisman Trophy campaign. (ESPN) The Mark of Kain. Northwestern head football coach Pat Fitzgerald refers to  Persa's backup, Kain Colter as being "1b" on the depth chart. (The Chicago Tribune) One of the guys.  Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson has quickly been accepted by his Badger teammates since transferring from North Carolina State. (Rivals.com) Jim Tressel will coach again. Because his brother, Ohio State running back/special teams coach Dick Tressel, said so. (The Chicago Tribune) Joe Paterno could save college football from itself.  He only has to quit coaching to do it. (The Patriot-News) My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult. ESPN's Adam Rittenberg sits down for a Q&A session with first-year Minnesota head football coach Jerry Kill. (ESPN) Learning to Crawl. Iowa sophomore C.J. Fiedorowicz describes learning to play football at the college level during his freshman year as a "humbling experience." (Quad City Times) Making up for lost time. Nebraska offensive guard Andrew Rodriguez is looking to make up for a disappointing 2010 season. (Omaha World Herald) Wolverine no more. Michigan wide reciever Je'Ron Strokes has left the team. (ESPN) Children of the Sun. A Michigan environmental group wants Michigan to install solar panels at Michigan Stadium. Don't hold your breath. (The Detroit News) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Is Dan Persa limping or pimping?

Is Dan Persa limping or pimping?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 24, 2011

Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa has been walking around in preseason football camp with what appears to be a noticeable limp. While Persa himself admits rehabbing his ruptured right Achilles tendon takes a toll on his body, Wildcats head football coach Pat Fitzgerald has a more fanciful explanation. ‘‘Your limp could be somebody else’s pimp walk,’’ Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald said after the team’s practice Monday at Naval Station Great Lakes." Now there's a statement you don't want to hear from your college football coach. For one thing, it's such an obvious ruse to try to hide Persa's still-rehabbing ankle injury. Worse, Fitzgerald knows what a pimp walk is. Or at least he thinks he knows what a pimp walk is. It's never a good thing when a authority figure tries to hip, and Fitzgerald proves it. On the other hand, it would be cool if the Northwestern Marching Band played Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'" after every completed pass Persa made the way Iowa's band played "Born in the USA" did with Ricky Stanzi last year. (via The Chicago Sun-Times) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jordan Jefferson, Alabama, Auburn, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jordan Jefferson, Alabama, Auburn, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 23, 2011

Why don't you have a seat over there? LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson and three other members of the team met with Baton Rouge police investigators over an alleged bar fight  (Rivals.com) I have my heroes, but no one knows their name.  Alabama will honor first responders who aided residents of Tuscaloosa and other parts of Alabama after the April 27 tornadoes that ravagedthe state. (al.com) When I Grow Up To Be a Man. Alabama senior defensive lineman Nick Gentry wants to be a coach someday. (al.com) Fly Like An Eagle.  The flight of Auburn's Nova the eagle before its home games was chosen by Sports Illustrated as college football's second best tradition, second only to Ohio State's "Script Ohio." (Sports Illustrated) No love for the Aggies in Nashville.  Vanderbilt vice chancellor of athletics David Williams doesn't want Texas A&M as a member of the SEC. ( City Paper (Nashville)) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

New Cy-Hawk Trophy gets deep-sixed.

New Cy-Hawk Trophy gets deep-sixed.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 23, 2011

Well, that didn't last long. After a massive outcry, the newly- unveiled version of the Cy-Hawk Trophy is getting the heave-ho. Iowa Corn, the trophy's new sponsor, had recently unveiled a new trophy, given to the winner of the annual game between Iowa and Iowa State. Fans of both teams protested the new trophy, due in part to it's having nothing to do with football, and more to do with corn. Well, Iowa Corn has heard the protests of the masses, and has now acted. "The new Cy-Hawk Trophy is being dumped, Iowa Corn officials announced Tuesday. They will open a process for fans to pick its replacement." It's probably a smart move to replace the trophy. It's an even smarter move to have fans vote on a new design. Hopefully, Iowa Corn can figure out a way to cut down on trolls trying to vote the ugliest potential selection into the victory circle. (via Quad City Times) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Tennessee opens a door to Nowhere.

Tennessee opens a door to Nowhere.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 22, 2011

Tennessee's motto for 2011 is apparently "Opportunity is now here." There were so happy with the motto, they decided to put it on the door and... Somebody apparently had an issue with trying to get that to fit on the door. A somebody needed to get a smaller font somewhere." (via Deadspin, Dr. Saturday) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Miami reaction to Nevin Shapiro not shocking whatsoever.

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Miami reaction to Nevin Shapiro not shocking whatsoever.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 22, 2011

Really, Miami fans? Do you think threatening Nevin Shapiro with bodily harm is showing any form of maturity when it comes to U-Gate? Worse, that little not-mama-approved word I bleeped out that's kinda defamatory to women isn't helping you're case with the NCAA, either. (via Dr. Saturday) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Terrelle Pryor, Dan Persa, Nebraska, and more.

Big Tentacles: Terrelle Pryor, Dan Persa, Nebraska, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 22, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)     Terrelle Pryor drafted by the Raiders in NFL Supplemental Draft. Least. Shocking. Event. Ever. (Yahoo! Sports) It's hard to be humble.  Ohio State freshman quarterback Braxton Miller is more humbler than Terrelle Pryor. At least according to Bob Hunter. (The Columbus Dispatch) It's "Not your father's Big Ten anymore." Because Adam Rittenberg said so. (ESPN) ...But is it enough? Pat Forde says that even with all the modernization in the Big Ten, the conference will still find it hard to compete with the SEC and other Sun Belt schools when it comes to recruiting. (ESPN) Not out of the woods yet.  Even though quarterback Dan Persa is supposed to be "100 percent healed" from the Achilles' tendon that shortened his 2010 season, Northwestern coaches aren't ready to take chances with the Heisman Trophy candidate getting injured again. (The Chicago Tribune) What, me worry? The Omaha World Herald's Sam McKewon expressed concern with a string of "nagging" injuries Nebraska's offensive line. (The Omaha World Herald) What, me worry? Part deux. Wisconsin's o-line has also been hit with the injury bug. (Wisconsin State Journal) A wingman for the winged helmets?  Devin Gardner is looking to be developing as a solid back-up QB for Denard Robinson at Michigan. (The Detroit Free Press) The time for Iowa's Keenan Davis has arrived. Because Keenan Davis said so. (Quad City Times) Chain Reaction. How are Iowa fans reacting to the new Cy-Hawk Trophy? Not too well. (The Gazette (Cedar Rapids)) The Big Ten is NOT looking to expand any further at the moment. Because the Big Ten said so. Jim Delany then went down to his basement to salivate in front of his shrine to Notre Dame. (Off Tackle Empire) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

This just in: Tyler Bray got a haircut.

This just in: Tyler Bray got a haircut.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 21, 2011

It looks like Tennessee star quarterback Tyler Bray has joined Stanford's Andrew Luck in getting a haircut. Bray's obviously going for the longer buzz with enough puppy scruff to look like he's not just out of boot camp look straight out of the box. Sadly, it took Luck a little longer to Luck to figure that one out. (via Knoxville News Sentinel) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Welcome to Nike Pro Combat Hell, Georgia!

Welcome to Nike Pro Combat Hell, Georgia!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 20, 2011

Nike unveiled the uniform Georgia will be wearing in the Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game on Sept. 3. If you were a Bulldog fan worried about the return of black jerseys or black pants, or (Hershel Walker forbid) black helmets,  then you have nothing to worry about. If you're a little anal about silver britches, however... To be honest, this isn't one of Nike's best looks. The silver helmets are okay, though the stripe could have been a little smaller. As for the almost all-red uni...well, it could have used a little black on the pants. Black pants would have been really cool with that jersey, but it seems Georgia might be a little too gun-shy about those kind of things after the 2008 beatdown by Florida.  A silver or black compression shirt might have been a better idea for this uni, too. It could have broken up the monotony of the red shirt and pants. Or Nike could have tried to come up with the shiniest silver britches possible for the uni. That might have been just enough to raise the level of Bulldog Nation nervousness from queasiness in the stomach to complete ulcer-developing levels. (via SB Nation Atlanta) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The new Cy-Hawk Trophy is neither Cy nor Hawk. Discuss.

The new Cy-Hawk Trophy is neither Cy nor Hawk. Discuss.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 19, 2011

The Cy-Hawk Trophy, given annually to the winner of the Iowa-Iowa State game, has been given an extreme makeover. Here's the old version, which looks like just about any generic football trophy you could find at a local trophy and engraving shop.   And here's the new version. A creation of corporate synergy provided by the Cy-Hawk Trophy's new sponsor, The Iowa Corn Growers Association. This says absolutely nothing about football. It says more about the trophy's new sponsors, but not much. And in the end, it looks way too much like one of those generic sculptures you see at one of The Avenue shopping malls than anything vaguely related to football. (via Black Heart Gold Pants, KCRG) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew:Nick Saban, Barrett Trotter, Steve Spurrier, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew:Nick Saban, Barrett Trotter, Steve Spurrier, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 19, 2011

Nick Saban's assistant coaches who coached at Miami not tainted by Shapiro scandal. Because Nick Saban said so. (CBS Sports) Georgia tight end Orson Charles cleared of possible NCAA Miami-related recruiting violations. Because Georgia said so. (ChuckOliver.net) Ready to Start. Barrett Trotter is named as the new starting quarterback for Auburn. (Rivals.com) One Big Happy Family. Florida players say there aren't any internal rifts on the team between upperclassmen and underclassmen  like there reportedly were in 2010. (The Gainesville Sun) Demon in a Bottle.  Steve Spurrier has his own wine called "Gamecock Garnet." Of course he does. (Dr. Saturday) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unquiet on the Western Front: Chip Kelly, the Fiesta Bowl, and more.

Unquiet on the Western Front: Chip Kelly, the Fiesta Bowl, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 18, 2011

(Unquiet on the Western Front is SWRT's look at the Pac-12, WAC, Mountain West, and other West Coast/Rocky Mountain schools extravaganza.)     Stand By Your Man. Oregon head coach Chip Kelly is standing by quarterback Darron Thomas after the Cliff Harris traffic incident. (Rivals.com) Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes? There's already talk about Stanford's future at the quarterback position after Andrew Luck leaves for the NFL. (San Fransisco Chronicle) Please adjust your calendars.  There's a good possibility that the Fiesta Bowl will move it's Jan 5, 2012 scheduled date up to Jan 2. (CBS Sports) DeBoskie-Johnson back in shape. Cal running back Covaughn DeBoskie-Johnson is regaining his explosiveness after losing weight during the summer. (San Jose Mercury News) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Terrelle Pryor, Kirk Cousins, Joe Paterno, and the Little Sisters of the Poor.

Big Tentacles: Terrelle Pryor, Kirk Cousins, Joe Paterno, and the Little Sisters of the Poor.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 18, 2011

Why is this mascot smiling? (Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)   With one breath, with one flow, you will know. Synchronicity.  The NCAA is investigating a spring break trip in taken by Terrelle Pryor to...wait for it...Miami. (CBS Sports) Standing in the Shadows of Love.  First-year Michigan strength and conditioning coach Aaron Wellman prefers to stay out of the spotlight while helping Wolverine players shape up for the 2011 season. (The Detroit News) Fly Me Courageous. Michigan State head football coach defended quarterback Kirk Cousins against comments by former Spartan QB Tony Banks said the senior needed "to be more courageous"  and "play better." (The Detroit News) Don't mess with a missionary man. Notre Dame signee Chris Badger is hoping to be able to finish his two-year Mormon mission to Ecuador early to enroll in school in January of 2012. (The Chicago Tribune) Don't mess with an 84-year old man, either.  Running back Stephfon Green is an ex-Nittany Lion. Because he "had some problems with" Joe Paterno. (CBS News) Similar Features. Besides both using the initials "NU," Nebraska and Northwestern both run a similar spread offense using the pistol. (Lake the Posts) Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before. Another year, another "Notre Dame is back" article. (ESPN) That Don't Impress Me Much. The Wall Street Journal's Darren Everson mocks Heisman Trophycampaigns like Northwestern's "PersaStrong" campaign for senior QB Dan Persa, saying that it's more to promote the school. (The Wall Street Journal) Nobody Told Me.  Ohio State president Gordon Gee says that he never knew that the Little Sisters of the Poor were an actual religious order when he referenced them in mocking TCU and other BCS buster schools last year. Well, now you know. (CBS Sports)  Famous Last Words. "There will never be a repeat of the 2002-2003 BCS Title Game." Because Off Tackle Empire said so. The 02-03 game of course being between Ohio State and Miami. Now here's a case where you really want to see Instant Karma get somebody. (Off Tackle Empire) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Who will benifit from Miami's downfall?

Who will benifit from Miami's downfall?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 17, 2011

It's not "if" or "when" Miami will get banhammered for the alleged multiple violations of NCAA rules reported by Yahoo! Sports' Charles Robinson, it's going to be how bad the program gets banhammered. The other major question coming out of the scandal is who will reap the benefits of the downfall of "The U." Ingram Smith of ChuckOliver.net believes that the smaller schools in Florida, South Florida and Central Florida, will be the ones to take the opportunities coming out of the Miami chaos. "For a couple of years now I have heard the term “Big Two – Middle Three.” With the previously mentioned Florida State and University of Florida being the big two and Miami, UCF, and USF constituting the middle three. Yesterday’s report by Robinson essentially insures this happens. Florida State and Florida will continue, as they have in the past three or four years to recruit at an elite level. The real winners in this will likely be the programs located in Orlando and Tampa." Perhaps, but then again, the recruits who may have gone to Miami will probably look to the bigger BCS programs before looking at USF or UCF. Florida and FSU are the most likely destinations for the blue chippers, with schools outside the Sunshine State right behind them. USF and UCF will get what's left over, it there is anything left over. As usual. (via ChuckOliver.net, Yahoo! Sports) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!