Thursday, August 27, 2015 • Afternoon Edition • "Because comics!"
Barrett Trotter forgets all about that macho **** and learns how to play guitar.

Barrett Trotter forgets all about that macho **** and learns how to play guitar.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 18, 2011

How are Auburn players coping with Saturday's loss to Clemson, which was the team's first since 2009? Well there's a good chance quarterback Barret Trotter is probably consoling himself by playing  a little guitar, a pastime that he apparently likes to do. While bluegrass seems to be Trotter's forte, it's not out of the range of possibilities that he might be strumming a little blues right now. As for this "Jimmy Dean and the Breakfast Trio" thing, I doubt seriously that Trotter is half the musician that the real Jimmy Dean was until I see further proof. That said, he'd better be able to do a mean version of "Big Bad John" if he wants to live up to that name. (via Rant Sports, ESPN) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Week 3 fallout, Denard Robinson, Russell Wilson, and more.

Big Tentacles: Week 3 fallout, Denard Robinson, Russell Wilson, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 18, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)  Michigan State can only blame itself in losing to Notre Dame. Because Michael Rosenberg said so. (Detroit Free Press) Beat the Devil. Illinois upsets #22 Arizona State in a 17-14 victory. (ESPN) In the end, there are no winners here.  In the battle of teams beleaguered by NCAA rules violations, Ohio State falls to Miami in a 24-6 loss. (ESPN) Army Strong > PersaStrong. Northwestern falls to Army at West Point. Wildcat quarterback Dan Persa was on the sidelines, but didn't play for a third straight week. (Wall Street Journal, CBS Sports) I feel  like a monster. Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson has a "monster" three touchdown performance in the Badgers' 49-7 defeat of Northern Illinois. (Wisconsin State Journal) Michigan depends too much on Denard Robinson.  Because Mitch Albom said so. Shut up, Mitch. (The Detroit Free Press) Role reversal. Nebraska is depending more on its offense than its defense this season. (ESPN) Identity Crisis. Iowa is either an inept team that "has its helmet on backward, or it's "The Most Interesting Team in the World" that can come back against Pittsburgh. (The Gazette) Don't Believe the Hype.  Big Ten comissioner Jim Delany says the conference isn't looking to expand following the news of perennial rumored conference expansion targets Syracuse and Pittsburgh moving to the ACC.  Translation: The Big Ten's non-so-secret lust for Notre Dame and Rutgers continues to grow. (The New York Times) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Memo to TCU: Apply to join the SEC now!

Memo to TCU: Apply to join the SEC now!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 17, 2011

Dear TCU, With the news of Big East stalwarts Syracuse and Pittsburgh reportedly applying to join the ACC, it is a good possibility that the conference's days are numbered. This is bad news for you, as you were supposed to join the conference next year. Right now, I see you have three options: 1)Do nothing and pray there's still a Big East in some form in 2012. 2)Decide to remain in the Mountain West. 3)Try to join another conference. At this point option 2) might seem the safest bet, but it means possibly being left out in the cold as the superconferences develop when comes to getting a shot at being in a BCS automatic qualifier school. Plus, you will feel the brunt of laughter and humiliation  from Boise State and the other conference schools you tried to leave behind. The third option may the riskier, but if will get you where you to go, which is in a BCS conference. Now you could follow the pack to the ACC, but it seems a lot of teams want to join that conference right now. (Which begs the idea for the conference adopting Adam Ant's "Desperate But Not Serious" as an official conference song.) Or you could look somewhere else. Worse, Texas is reportedly interested in the ACC, and there's no way you'll be able to escape the Longhorns' big shadow if they join. Worse, they'll bring Texas Tech and Baylor with them, leaving you out in the cold. This is where the SEC comes in, and the SWRT official stance that you, TCU, should join. In a perfect world, this would be at the expense of Texas A&M, who are ready to contaminate the conference with Collie mascot, Corps of Cadets, and male cheerleaders yell leaders. I have said all along that the SEC should be American Idol, and not Celebrity Rehab (which is exactly what Texas A&M wants it to be). Now is your chance to make that idea real. TCU, The SEC should be you ideal soft landing spot in the chaos that is expansion in college football. There are going to be winners and losers, and not being in a superconference is going to make you a loser. (via ESPN) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Game Day Goulash: Brian Kelly, Landry Jones, Tyler Bray, and more.

Game Day Goulash: Brian Kelly, Landry Jones, Tyler Bray, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 17, 2011

(Game Day Goulash is SWRT's  all-encompassing Game Day college football extravaganza.)   Brian Kelly explained. Former players of Notre Dame head football coach Brian Kelly explain his coaching ways at a time when he's under fire for his demeanor on the sideline and an 0-2 record. (The Detroit Free Press) Boise State wins again.  Heisman Trophy candidate Kellen Moore led Boise State to a 40-15 manhandling of Toledo. (Rivals.com) Growing Up Landry. Oklahoma's Landry Jones has grown from a quarterback struggling in the early 2010 season, to one who could be a potential Heisman candidate is the Sooners come out victorious against FSU. (The Oklahoman) Confidence game.  Tennessee's young squad is coming together and feeling confident going into Saturday's showdown in The Swamp against Florida. (The Chattanooga Times-Free Press) How big'a boy are ya?  The Tennessee-Florida game is going to be a real growing-up experience for the Vols' star QB Tyler Bray, who has never started in a game outside of the Volunteer state before. (The Tennessean) Living On Tulsa Time. Oklahoma State travels to Tulsa, where playing the Golden Hurricane hasn't been a walk in the part in the past. (The Oklahoman) 99 down, 1 to go. TCU head football coach Gary Patterson goes for his 100th career win against Louisiana-Monroe. (Mountain West Connection) Rock the boat.  Over 600 Northwestern fans are ready to literally sail to West Point to cheer the Wildcats on against Army. (Lake the Posts) Catch a Rising Star. The Oklahoman profiles the baby-faced former Georgia Bulldog legend and ESPN rising star David Pollack. (The Oklahoman) Don't you think this alternate uni bit has done gone out of hand? Drew Sharp blasts the NCAA for letting the alternate uniform craze get out of hand. (The Detroit Free Press) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Syracuse and Pitt defecting to the ACC?

Syracuse and Pitt defecting to the ACC?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 17, 2011

Pete Thamel of the New York Times is reporting that the ACC has been talking with Big East member schools Syracuse and Pittsburgh about becoming members. This comes seven years or so since the ACC's last pilfering of the Big East, which nabbed Virginia Tech, Miami, and Boston College. "The person with knowledge of the talks declined to speculate on a timetable or the seriousness of the discussions. But in this delicate time for conferences and their futures, the discussions between the 12-team A.C.C. and two Big East members are significant.  The talks show how the trend toward 16-team super conferences, which has concerned many college athletic officials, appears to be inching closer to reality. If Syracuse and Pittsburgh switch, the move will be difficult for the Big East to overcome." The fact that Syracuse and Pittsburgh are considered "bedrock" members of the Big East, their possible defection to the ACC would be a devastating blow to the conference. It could even possibly put the conference's BCS automatic qualifier status in jeopardy. The Big East would probably stay afloat football-wise by reaching out to Big 12 schools looking for a soft landing when their conference implodes, however. Baylor would be an obvious target to be become an in-state rival for the soon-to-be member school TCU. More importantly, Kansas would make an even juicer target for the Big East, as it would not only bolster the football side of things, but would make Big East men's basketball an even stronger product. In the end, though, you have to wonder bout the ACC's motivations. The last raid on the Big East didn't quite work out as well as the ACC thought. Is this a predatory move, or one of preemptive self-defense? With The SEC looking for a 14th member, several ACC schools look like possible targets for pilfering. (via The New York Times) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Barrett Trotter, Jesse Williams, Vince Dooley on Mark Richt, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Barrett Trotter, Jesse Williams, Vince Dooley on Mark Richt, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 16, 2011

Mississippi Burning.  LSU takes down Mississippi State in Starksville 19-6. (ESPN) Put me in, Coach. Mississippi St. third-string quarterback Dylan Favre complains on Twitter that he didn't get a chance to play during the Bulldogs' loss to LSU. (Yes, he's the nephew of Brett Favre.) Yeah, that's gonna get you on Dan Mullen's good side. (Dr. Saturday) So far, so good.  Auburn head football coach Gene Chizik likes how Tiger QB Barrett Trotter is developing as a starter. (al.com) I come from the land Down Under. Australian-born defensive end Jesse Williams' on-the-field skills and discipline have grown  considerably since transferring to Alabama from Arizona Western Community College. (al.com) Vince Dooley backs Mark Richt. But honestly, if there was a chance to bring no. 1 son Derek Dooley home from Tennessee, don't you think Vince would jump at the opportunity? (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Crossing the Atlantic: Oklahoma vs. FSU, Maryland, and more.

Crossing the Atlantic: Oklahoma vs. FSU, Maryland, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 16, 2011

(Crossing the Atlantic is a look at the ACC and other schools on the East Coast.)  And now for something completely different.  Saturday's meeting between Oklahoma and Florida State will be different from last year's Sooner thumping of the Seminoles. Because Olin Buchanan  said so. (Rivals.com) Thanks for everything. Grantland's John Brandon is thankful for Oklahoma vs. FSU, and for the Seminoles' apparent return to relevance in Jimbo Fisher's second year as head football coach. (Grantland) FSU is happy with being in the ACC.  Because FSU athletic director Randy Spetman said so. (ESPN) Into the unknown.  Maryland suspends wide receivers Quintin McCree and Ronnie Tyler for violating  those ever-popular "unspecified team rules." (CBS Sports) Clemson needs to toughen up. Because Cory Fravel said so. (ChuckOliver.net) Please come to Boston, and be uninteresting.  Duke vs. Boston College has been declared T. Kyle King's "National Game of Disinterest.  (Dawg Sports) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Dancing in the Ruins: Realignment, Oklahoma vs. FSU, Steele Jantz, and more.

Dancing in the Ruins: Realignment, Oklahoma vs. FSU, Steele Jantz, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 15, 2011

(Dancing in the Ruins is SWRT's look at the Big XII Conference. Or at least what's left of it.)   Realignment silliness. The University of Oklahoma Board of Regents will discuss conference realignment during its regularly scheduled meeting on Monday, Sept. 19. (The Oklahoman) Baby Talk. Baby-faced ESPN personality David Pollack discusses the Oklahoma-Florida State showdown on Saturday. (The Oklahoman) Texas fears the SEC. Because Clay Travis says so. Shut up, Clay. (Outkick the Coverage) Channel surfing. The Longhorn Network will televise twelve Texas men's basketball games, including home games against Oklahoma State and Iowa State. (The Dallas Morning News) America held hostage. Outkick the Coverage writer Josh Townsend discusses Baylor's attempt to block Texas A&M defecting to the SEC, and the road to 16-member conferences with it. (Outkick the Coverage) Big Man on Campus. Iowa State quarterback Steele Jantz has become an on-campus sensation since leading the Cyclones to defeating in-state rival Iowa. (The Topeka Capital-Journal) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Minnesota Mascot is possessed by the Devil.

Minnesota Mascot is possessed by the Devil.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 15, 2011

Minnesota Freudian nightmare-inducing* mascot Goldy Gopher is spreading his terror on YouTube. Dancing in a way that even Thom Yorke would find disturbing, and using his dark magic to change the clothes of hapless Minnesota students' clothing (whether they like it or not). The fact that Goldy's head is clearly seen spinning around the 0:40 point can only mean one thing. His is possessed by The Devil. Someone clearly needs to call an exorcist to immediately resolve this problem before the Land of 1,000 lakes is transformed into a golden inferno of pain and woe. * Like there's any other kind of Big Ten mascot than besides a Freudian nightmare-inducing one.   (via EDSBS) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Goldy Gopher is possessed by the Devil.

Goldy Gopher is possessed by the Devil.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 15, 2011

Minnesota Freudian nightmare-inducing* mascot Goldy Gopher is spreading his terror on YouTube. Dancing in a way that even Thom Yorke would find disturbing, and using his dark magic to change the clothes of hapless Minnesota students' clothing (whether they like it or not). The fact that Goldy's head is clearly seen spinning around the 0:40 point can only mean one thing. His is possessed by The Devil. Someone clearly needs to call an exorcist to immediately resolve this problem before the Land of 1,000 lakes is transformed into a golden inferno of pain and woe. * Like there's any other kind of Big Ten mascot than besides a Freudian nightmare-inducing one.   (via EDSBS) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Isaiah Crowell, Tyler Bray, Gene Chizik, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Isaiah Crowell, Tyler Bray, Gene Chizik, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 15, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)    There's a possibility, but no chance.  Fletcher Proctor asks if Georgia freshman tailback Isaiah Crowell's performance on the field save head football coach Mark Richt's job. Don't hold your breath, Fletcher. (ChuckOliver.net) And while we're on the subject of improbable things, Mark Schultz says Georgia might need to have a 9-1 record for the rest of the season for Richt to stay hired. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Raw Power.  Gary Danielson says that he was blown away by Tennessee star quarterback Tyler Bray's "raw ability" before Bray became the Vols' starting QB last season. (Knoxville News Sentinel). Herbie on Tennessee-Florida.  Kirk Herbstreit says the winner of the Tennessee-Florida game could end up being a contender for the SEC East title. (Knoxville News Sentinel) That Don't Impress Me Much. Despite two thrilling  come-from-behind victories in a row, Auburn head football coach Gene Chizik says the Tigers are playing "average football." (ESPN) Tag Team back again. Meanwhile, Chizik and Auburn offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn are described as "football's best tamdem." (ChuckOliver.net) We were merely freshmen. Alabama freshmen Trey DePreist (linebacker) and Vinny Sunseri ( defensive back) are described as being "Two of Alabama's biggest hitters" by Izzy Gould. (al.com)   Not on my watch. Don't expect Alabama to go the Maryland route with the funky alternate uniforms while Nick Saban is around. (al.com) Baby better come back later next week. 'Cause you see I'm on a losing streak.  Mississippi State looks to end its eleven-game losing streak to LSU on Thursday night. It also seeks to  avoid a second loss in a row this season after last week's loss to Auburn. (ESPN) Talk about the life in Massachusetts. Vanderbilt and UMass agree to a four game series beginning in 2012. It includes the Commodores' going up to face the Minutemen in Gilette stadium 2013 and 2015. (Anchor of Gold) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The secret origin of Derek Dooley's orange pants.

The secret origin of Derek Dooley's orange pants.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 14, 2011

Derek Dooley, fashion icon. First they took Knoxville by storm, then the nation. Derek Dooley's now-infamous orange pants have become an ever bigger fashion statement than even His Hairness' Tilley Airflow hat did. But what's the story behind the the most famous trousers in Tennessee? Now it can be told.  "The folks behind the pants at John H. Daniel put a lot of work into making sure the pants turned out just right. The tailors looked around until they found two yards of woven wool in England and dyed it three times to get the exact color of UT orange. "We took it in his closet and we matched it to the rest of his game gear, and I said, 'Are you sure this is... spot on?" So we ran with it. Like I said, we're waiting for the mill to open back up so we can dye some more cloth, so if he needs more, we'll be able to produce them for him," said Joe Taylor of John H. Daniel Clothing." Sadly for the Vols Nation, John H. Daniel is not putting the pants in mass production. Which is bad because orange pants apparently are nowhere to be found in Knoxville, despite considerable interest in them. (And how in the heck that happens in Tennessee I'll never know.) At least for now. (via WBIR) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unquiet On the Western Front: Boise State, Oregon State, Arizona State, and Andrew Luck.

Unquiet On the Western Front: Boise State, Oregon State, Arizona State, and Andrew Luck.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 14, 2011

(Unquiet on the Western Front is SWRT's look at the Pac-12, WAC, Mountain West, and other West Coast/Rocky Mountain schools extravaganza.)     Indiana(polis) Wants Me? Speculation is brewing that the Indianapolis Colts might go after Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck as Peyton Manning's successor. (The Los Angeles Times) It's just a flesh wound. Boise State gets three year's probation and loses three scholarships from the NCAA over secondary violations. (CBS Sports) Who's the Mannion? After going 0-2, Oregon State benches Ryan Katz as starting quarterback and replaces him with Sean Mannion. (ESPN) New Attitude.  USC tailback Marc Tyler says he's learned his lesson after Trojans' head football coach Lane Kiffin suspended him over comments made to TMZ. (The Orange County Register) To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever. The Utah-BYU rivalry will continue on no matter what may occur with conference realignment silliness. (The Salt Lake Tribune) Tattoo You. Deadspin goes gaga over Arizona State quarterback Brock Osweiler's tattooed biceps. Like nobody has pointed out a quarterback's tattoo on the internet before. (Deadspin) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Isaiah Crowell, Tennessee, and Houston Nutt.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Isaiah Crowell, Tennessee, and Houston Nutt.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 13, 2011

Ready to Start. Georgia freshman tailback Isaiah Crowell will get his first start this Saturday in the Dawgs' game versus Costal Carolina. (ESPN) Where Did It All Go Wrong? Chip Towers of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution pins the decline of Georgia's fourtines to Mark Richt's turning over play-calling duties to offensive coordinator Mike Bobo. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Chiseled in stone or writ in water? Tennessee non-conference 2012 schedule will feature Akron, Troy and Georgia State at home in 2012, and North Carolina in the Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game in Atlanta. Texas A&M's admission to the SEC may cause that to change, though. (Knoxville News Sentinel) Use Your Delusion. Ole Miss head football coach Houston Nutt sees "the flashes, the bits and pieces that prove the Rebels have a chance to be a good football team." (The Clarion-Ledger) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Is Will Muschamp on Georgia's radar as Mark Richt's replacement?

Is Will Muschamp on Georgia's radar as Mark Richt's replacement?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on September 13, 2011

Sooner or later it was bound to happen. With the Mark Richt era's sun slowly setting at Georgia, somebody decided to suggest that UGA might make a play for first-year Florida head football coach (and former Bulldog safety) Will Muschamp. That somebody would happen to be the creatively-named Florida blog Bourbon Meyer. "So if Georgia is in the market for a head coach, does Will Muschamp enter the conversation? If South Carolina had been Steve Spurrier’s first head coaching position, would Florida have been able to lure him home? The pull of the alma mater, as surely anyone reading this blog would agree, is immense. As much as we like to think Florida is the best job in college football, for a guy like Muschamp, how much greater is it than any other elite program in the SEC? Remember Muschamp has done the tour through the conference with stops at Auburn and LSU to go along with his Georgia playing days. This isn’t meant to be outrageous, although it is surely meant to grab some page views. I don’t think Muschamp would leave after one year. I would be more worried if this was five years or so down the road. But it does make you think and given the capitalistic, cutthroat way of college football, it isn’t outside the realm of the possible." If this were to actually take place, it would come off as an act of pure desperation on Georgia's part. It would make the school athletic department look rather foolish trying to go after the coach of its biggest and most hated SEC rival (Auburn notwithstanding). It's more likely that Georgia athletic director Greg McGarity, a former Florida executive associate athletic director, would go after a coach with Gator ties instead of Georgia ones. Like current Louisville head football coach Kirby Smart or Mississippi State head football coach Dan Mullen. In itself, the later choice would seem as desperate in itself as going after Muschamp, and equally as uncouth. An even more outrageous idea would be to go after former Florida head football coach Urban Meyer. Yes, I've actually heard that one. Thought it's improbable that Meyer would want to coach an SEC school so soon after Florida. All in all, the Georgia targeting Muschamp idea falls under the heading of "bat guano insanity." It could also fit into the "There's a possibility but no chance" file. To do so would make UGA look absolutely foolish. (via Bourbon Meyer. HT: Alligator Army) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

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