Tuesday, July 28, 2015 • Morning Edition • "At least we're not Multiversity!"
Rules of thumb for SEC expansion.

Rules of thumb for SEC expansion.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 29, 2011

Like it or not, it's looking more an more like Texas A&M will be an SEC school more sooner than later. With the Aggies on board, the SEC will have a baker's dozen of schools, which makes things a bit uneven. There's going to have to be a 14th team to make future scheduling less of a hassle. With that, there are a few rules of thumb the SEC really needs to follow in looking for the perfect fit. 1. Stay within the "traditional" South. This may offend my political connects, but by "traditional" South I pretty much mean states that joined the Confederacy in the Civil War. Wanting to expand the market for the SEC may sound like a good idea, but do Missouri or Kansas really sound like SEC country? The SEC needs to take a cue from where the ACC made mistakes in its bout of expansion silliness (hello, Boston College!). While this may look like it cuts a lot of potential expansion targets out, it leaves ones that make more sense as SEC schools, such as Virginia Tech, Louisville, Texas Tech, and many of the emerging FBS schools. Exceptions to this rule: Oklahoma (Sooners, duh), West Virgina (which was carved of the part of Virginia that didn't want to join in the shoot-yourself-in-the-foot party that was the Confederacy), and Notre Dame (because Southern Indiana has more in common with the South than either Indiana or the South care to admit). 2. Be American Idol, not Celebrity Rehab.  Texas A&M is wanting to come to the SEC because it sees the conference because of the more equitable division of revenue.  That's not really the kind of program you want to see in the conference. The SEC should be looking for programs that are on the rise, hungry, and ready to prove that they can play with the big boys of the BCS. There are certainly quite a few schools like that around the South. Texas Tech, ECU, Central Florida, USF, and Houston all would make good SEC schools. They'd at least try harder to compete than Vanderbilt. 3. Beware of Fool's Gold. Be free to translate this as Miami, FSU, and Georgia Tech. The Hurricanes, if they don't get the Death Penalty, are going to be radioactive for a long time to come, because of Nevin Shapiro. FSU may look all nice and shiny, but that just because of the pants. It may be back on the rise due to Jimbo Fisher, but will it be able to compete week in and week out against the heavier competition of the SEC? As for Georgia Tech, it pretty much plays the Aggies to UGA's Longhorns, even with it being in a separate conference. And while on the subject of the ACC... 4. Stay away from North Carolina.  Does any SEC school besides Kentucky really want to see Duke,  UNC, NC State, or Wake Forest in the SEC? Thought so. North Carolina schools scream "basketball." And sorry, expansion is all about football. 5. Clemson or bust. Above any Southern football program, Clemson is the one that shouts "SEC" without actually being in the SEC. It has the kind of aura and tradition you're looking for in a potential SEC team. It also has deep connections to SEC schools that other schools don't. Clemson may share some of the negative traits brought up in the above rules, but the positives greatly outweigh the negatives. Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Texas A&M telling the Big 12 it plans to leave?

Texas A&M telling the Big 12 it plans to leave?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 28, 2011

Aggiegeddon is one step closer to being reality. Texas A&M has reportedly talked to the Big 12 Conference's board of directors about the school's plans to leave the conference. "A person with knowledge of what was discussed during a conference call of the Big 12 board of directors Saturday told the Associated Press that Texas A&M officials talked about their anticipated departure.  "No major surprises," said the person, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the talks. "A&M didn't say they were leaving, but certainly gave every indication that's what they plan on doing."  An official announcement could come this week. All of that could depend on whether or not the SEC is ready to admit that it's interested in Texas A&M as a member, (via CBS Sports) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jordan Jefferson, Aggiegeddon, A.J. McCarron and Phillip Sims, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jordan Jefferson, Aggiegeddon, A.J. McCarron and Phillip Sims, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 27, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)  Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. With Jordan Jefferson's suspension after being charged with his alleged involvement in a bar fight, LSU can move forward with preparing for the start of the 2011 season. (The Times-Picayune) Your story has become tiresome! The NCAA pubically says Danny Sheridan's claims of knowing who the "bagman" in the Cam Newton affair are full of hot air. (ChuckOliver.net) Carry That Weight.  Georgia quarterback Aaron Murray has added ten pounds of muscle to his frame after being steamrolled by Nick Fairley in the Bulldogs' 2010 defeat against Auburn. (Athens Banner-Herald)  Heat of the Moment. Mississippi State head football coach Dan Mullen is expecting playing conditions during the season opener at Memphis to be hotter than they were during training camp. (The Clarion Ledger) Great Expectations.  ESPN' Edward Ascroff and Chris Low each name Ole Miss and Tennessee as SEC teams that will exceed the expectations of what they're expected to do in the 2011 season. (ESPN) The New Rules. Track 'Em Tigers gives potential member schools of the SEC the skinny about the Conference. The part of equatable distribution of revenue should keep at least one Texas school out of the conference.  (Track 'Em Tigers.) Break It Down Again. T. Kyle King runs down all that you need to know about Aggiegeddon. (Dawg Sports) Not going anywhere for a while? The battle for the Alabama starting quarterback position between A.J. McCarron and Phillip Sims doesn't seem to be ending any time soon. (ChuckOliver.net) Where Did It All Go Wrong? Saturday Down South asks why Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, and Bobby Petrino failed as NFL coaches. Basically, it comes down to their running their respective teams like they were college football programs. (Saturday Down South) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

ESPN artwork for Boise State-Georgia game is just wrong.

ESPN artwork for Boise State-Georgia game is just wrong.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 26, 2011

The above image  is some artwork accompanying an ESPN the Magazine article on the upcoming Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game featuring Boise State vs. Georgia. Naturally, ESPN decides to go the cartoon character route with an anamorphic bronco versus a an equally anamorphic bulldog.  At least I think it's supposed to be a bulldog. To be honest, I don't know what the heck that thing is with lightning coming from its jaws. Is it a dog? A pig? A fish? What could it be? Incidentally, the issue this appears in features Michael Vick on the cover. Artwork featuring a horse fighting a dog in an issue with a man who went to jail for involvement with dog fighting on the cover. Oh, the agony and the irony are killing me. (via One Bronco Nation Under God, ESPN) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unquiet on the Western Front: Rick Neuheisel, Kyle Whittingham, Boise State, and more.

Unquiet on the Western Front: Rick Neuheisel, Kyle Whittingham, Boise State, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 26, 2011

(Unquiet on the Western Front is SWRT's look at the Pac-12, WAC, Mountain West, and other West Coast/Rocky Mountain schools extravaganza.)  Hot in Here. After three years as UCLA head football coach, Rick Neuheisel finds himself on the hot seat. (Los Angeles Times) It's Now or Never? With Jim Harbaugh gone and quarterback Andrew Luck possibly gone after next season, 2011 may be Stanford's last shot at being in the spotlight. (The Los Angeles Times) Wake Me Up When September Ends. Stanford fans will have to wait until mid-September to see what the Cardinal's Nike Pro Combat uniforms look like. (Rule of Tree) Horsing around.  Utah head football coach Kyle Whittingham name Secretariat as his favorite athlete as a kid. (ESPN) Hair apparent.  Utah linebacker Chaz Walker claims he hasn't cut his hair since his freshman year. (The Salt Lake Tribune) Not a hot ticket, at least Golden Bears-wise.  Cal is being outsold ticket-wise by Fresno State in the two team's neutral site season opening game at Candlestick Park in San Francisco. (San Jose Mercury News) There's a possibility, but no chance.  ESPN lists BYU, Fresno State, San Diego State, Nevada, and SMU as programs from non-automatic qualifying conferences that could someday go to a BCS bowl. (ESPN) Losing a Whole year. Arizona loses cornerback Jonathan McNight for the season due to a torn ACL. (Arizona Desert Swarm) Armageddon It. Boise State's white Nike Pro Combat helmet with its large white Bronco emblem is declared by Deadspin to be a sign of the Apocalypse. (Deadspin) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Trent Richardson, Tyler Bray, expansion silliness, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Trent Richardson, Tyler Bray, expansion silliness, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 25, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)    Know your role.  Alabama running back Trent Richardson has fully taken up the mantle of leadership on the team, even if it involves dealing with more than enthusiastic students on campus. (al.com)  There can be only one. The first serious QB competition involving Alabama in recent years is gaining more attention. (Saturday Down South) There can be only one - Part deux.  ChuckOliver.net's Fletcher Proctor looks at the Georgia's battles for starting jobs involving the tailback  (featuring Isaiah Crowell) and nose tackle positions. (ChuckOliver.net) Growing Up Bray. Tennessee star quarterback Tyler Bray's maturity process includes meeting with Vols' offensive coordinator Jim Chaney. (Knoxville News Sentinel) Making the best of a bad situation.  Tennessee defensive back Prentiss Waggner looks to be the benefactor of  Janzen Jackson's ejection from the Vols' football program. (Knoxville News Sentinel) The Tennessee athletic program needs an exorcism.  Because Clay Travis said so. Shut up, Clay. (Outkick the Coverage) Replacing Derek Sherrod isn't as easy as it looks.  Mississippi State's search to replace left offensive tackle Derek Sherrod  hasn't been an easy one. (The Clarion Ledger) A Few Small Repairs. Auburn is sprucing Jordan-Hare Stadium by installing huge photos of Tiger legends. That includes Heisman winners  Pat Sullivan, Bo Jackson,  and, Cam Newton. (al.com) What Texas A&M fans need to know about the SEC. Because Pat Dooley said so. (The Gainesville Sun) Expansion silliness.  Holly Anderson gives three proposals for SEC expansion. All of which are as much reality based as a Samuel Coleridge opiate binge. (SI.com) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Shirts Without Random Triangles, or apostrophes, either.

Shirts Without Random Triangles, or apostrophes, either.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 24, 2011

OOPS! Now here's a hamdinger of a screw-up. Old Navy is coming out with a line of licensed collegiate t-shirts, all apparently using the phrase "Lets Go (insert school or team nickname here). " Notice anything wrong here with this Michigan t-shirt? Yes, the word "Let's" is missing an apostrophe.  What's worse? All the t-shirts across the line are apparently like this one, missing that same darn apostrophe. It's enough to give English professors conniptions. Not to mention C.E.O.'s and media relations people. On the other hand, economics professors will probably get kicks in seeing how these tees do on e-Bay.  (via Yahoo!) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Janzen Jackson is an ex-Tennessee Volunteer.

Janzen Jackson is an ex-Tennessee Volunteer.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 24, 2011

The long, strange trip of Janzen Jackson's time at Tennessee has come to a close. The embattled safety left school during spring semester to handle what were referred to as "personal problems" before returning to the program during the summer. Now reports say he has been dismissed from the team. Vols' head football coach Derek Dooley commented on the dismissal. “Our program has devoted a tremendous amount of energy, resources, support, and care in an effort to help Janzen manage his personal challenges,” Dooley said in the release.  “I will always be there to help him as a person, but there comes a time when a player’s actions preclude him from the privilege of playing for the University of Tennessee football team. “Although I’m disappointed with this outcome, we will never compromise the long-term organizational values and goals we maintain here at Tennessee.” No word as to why the departure has taken place. (via Knoxville News Sentinel) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Dan Persa, Russell Wilson, Jerry Kill, and more.

Big Tentacles: Dan Persa, Russell Wilson, Jerry Kill, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 24, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)       There's strong, and then there's PersaStrong. Adam Rittenberg details how Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa's discipline and training in the weight room inspired the "PersaStrong" Heisman Trophy campaign. (ESPN) The Mark of Kain. Northwestern head football coach Pat Fitzgerald refers to  Persa's backup, Kain Colter as being "1b" on the depth chart. (The Chicago Tribune) One of the guys.  Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson has quickly been accepted by his Badger teammates since transferring from North Carolina State. (Rivals.com) Jim Tressel will coach again. Because his brother, Ohio State running back/special teams coach Dick Tressel, said so. (The Chicago Tribune) Joe Paterno could save college football from itself.  He only has to quit coaching to do it. (The Patriot-News) My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult. ESPN's Adam Rittenberg sits down for a Q&A session with first-year Minnesota head football coach Jerry Kill. (ESPN) Learning to Crawl. Iowa sophomore C.J. Fiedorowicz describes learning to play football at the college level during his freshman year as a "humbling experience." (Quad City Times) Making up for lost time. Nebraska offensive guard Andrew Rodriguez is looking to make up for a disappointing 2010 season. (Omaha World Herald) Wolverine no more. Michigan wide reciever Je'Ron Strokes has left the team. (ESPN) Children of the Sun. A Michigan environmental group wants Michigan to install solar panels at Michigan Stadium. Don't hold your breath. (The Detroit News) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Is Dan Persa limping or pimping?

Is Dan Persa limping or pimping?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 24, 2011

Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa has been walking around in preseason football camp with what appears to be a noticeable limp. While Persa himself admits rehabbing his ruptured right Achilles tendon takes a toll on his body, Wildcats head football coach Pat Fitzgerald has a more fanciful explanation. ‘‘Your limp could be somebody else’s pimp walk,’’ Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald said after the team’s practice Monday at Naval Station Great Lakes." Now there's a statement you don't want to hear from your college football coach. For one thing, it's such an obvious ruse to try to hide Persa's still-rehabbing ankle injury. Worse, Fitzgerald knows what a pimp walk is. Or at least he thinks he knows what a pimp walk is. It's never a good thing when a authority figure tries to hip, and Fitzgerald proves it. On the other hand, it would be cool if the Northwestern Marching Band played Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'" after every completed pass Persa made the way Iowa's band played "Born in the USA" did with Ricky Stanzi last year. (via The Chicago Sun-Times) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jordan Jefferson, Alabama, Auburn, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jordan Jefferson, Alabama, Auburn, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 23, 2011

Why don't you have a seat over there? LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson and three other members of the team met with Baton Rouge police investigators over an alleged bar fight  (Rivals.com) I have my heroes, but no one knows their name.  Alabama will honor first responders who aided residents of Tuscaloosa and other parts of Alabama after the April 27 tornadoes that ravagedthe state. (al.com) When I Grow Up To Be a Man. Alabama senior defensive lineman Nick Gentry wants to be a coach someday. (al.com) Fly Like An Eagle.  The flight of Auburn's Nova the eagle before its home games was chosen by Sports Illustrated as college football's second best tradition, second only to Ohio State's "Script Ohio." (Sports Illustrated) No love for the Aggies in Nashville.  Vanderbilt vice chancellor of athletics David Williams doesn't want Texas A&M as a member of the SEC. ( City Paper (Nashville)) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

New Cy-Hawk Trophy gets deep-sixed.

New Cy-Hawk Trophy gets deep-sixed.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 23, 2011

Well, that didn't last long. After a massive outcry, the newly- unveiled version of the Cy-Hawk Trophy is getting the heave-ho. Iowa Corn, the trophy's new sponsor, had recently unveiled a new trophy, given to the winner of the annual game between Iowa and Iowa State. Fans of both teams protested the new trophy, due in part to it's having nothing to do with football, and more to do with corn. Well, Iowa Corn has heard the protests of the masses, and has now acted. "The new Cy-Hawk Trophy is being dumped, Iowa Corn officials announced Tuesday. They will open a process for fans to pick its replacement." It's probably a smart move to replace the trophy. It's an even smarter move to have fans vote on a new design. Hopefully, Iowa Corn can figure out a way to cut down on trolls trying to vote the ugliest potential selection into the victory circle. (via Quad City Times) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Tennessee opens a door to Nowhere.

Tennessee opens a door to Nowhere.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 22, 2011

Tennessee's motto for 2011 is apparently "Opportunity is now here." There were so happy with the motto, they decided to put it on the door and... Somebody apparently had an issue with trying to get that to fit on the door. A somebody needed to get a smaller font somewhere." (via Deadspin, Dr. Saturday) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Miami reaction to Nevin Shapiro not shocking whatsoever.

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Miami reaction to Nevin Shapiro not shocking whatsoever.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 22, 2011

Really, Miami fans? Do you think threatening Nevin Shapiro with bodily harm is showing any form of maturity when it comes to U-Gate? Worse, that little not-mama-approved word I bleeped out that's kinda defamatory to women isn't helping you're case with the NCAA, either. (via Dr. Saturday) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Terrelle Pryor, Dan Persa, Nebraska, and more.

Big Tentacles: Terrelle Pryor, Dan Persa, Nebraska, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 22, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)     Terrelle Pryor drafted by the Raiders in NFL Supplemental Draft. Least. Shocking. Event. Ever. (Yahoo! Sports) It's hard to be humble.  Ohio State freshman quarterback Braxton Miller is more humbler than Terrelle Pryor. At least according to Bob Hunter. (The Columbus Dispatch) It's "Not your father's Big Ten anymore." Because Adam Rittenberg said so. (ESPN) ...But is it enough? Pat Forde says that even with all the modernization in the Big Ten, the conference will still find it hard to compete with the SEC and other Sun Belt schools when it comes to recruiting. (ESPN) Not out of the woods yet.  Even though quarterback Dan Persa is supposed to be "100 percent healed" from the Achilles' tendon that shortened his 2010 season, Northwestern coaches aren't ready to take chances with the Heisman Trophy candidate getting injured again. (The Chicago Tribune) What, me worry? The Omaha World Herald's Sam McKewon expressed concern with a string of "nagging" injuries Nebraska's offensive line. (The Omaha World Herald) What, me worry? Part deux. Wisconsin's o-line has also been hit with the injury bug. (Wisconsin State Journal) A wingman for the winged helmets?  Devin Gardner is looking to be developing as a solid back-up QB for Denard Robinson at Michigan. (The Detroit Free Press) The time for Iowa's Keenan Davis has arrived. Because Keenan Davis said so. (Quad City Times) Chain Reaction. How are Iowa fans reacting to the new Cy-Hawk Trophy? Not too well. (The Gazette (Cedar Rapids)) The Big Ten is NOT looking to expand any further at the moment. Because the Big Ten said so. Jim Delany then went down to his basement to salivate in front of his shrine to Notre Dame. (Off Tackle Empire) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!