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Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: UGA Nike Pro Combat uniforms.

Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: UGA Nike Pro Combat uniforms.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

  I have no doubt this is fake, since Georgia AD Greg McGarity hasn't really shown much of a spine (not to mention other sundry parts of the male anatomy) to even try another alternative uniform stunt. Though give credit to From Hedges to Hardwood for trying something different. (via From Hedges to Hardwood) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Is a campaign to elect Tyler Bray Tennessee SGA President written in the stars?

Is a campaign to elect Tyler Bray Tennessee SGA President written in the stars?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

There are times when comments made in jest take a mind of their own. Such seems the case for an apparent campaign to elect Tennessee star (pardon the pun) quarterback Tyler Bray as president of the school's student government.  The movement even has its own  Bray star-studded back tattoo inspired logo, along with the inevitable Facebook  and Twitter account.   Here's the spiel on the Facebook  page. "Tyler Bray has grown in his ability to lead both on and off the field this year as is evidenced by his play and shampoo choice. This group is for students at the University of Tennessee who want to be led by a man that will take charge once elected president. Tyler Bray is a man of the people and for the people and if elected, we are sure he will not disappoint our student body in the ridiculous manner that both Spark and Reach are sure to do. Tyler has a motto: no suits, no ties, no lies. He is a man of principle and has always stood by that motto. So students if you want a leader that is truly dedicated to getting this University back on top where it once was, we urge you to vote Tyler Bray for SGA Student Body President." How did this idea start. Apparently Derek Mullins, Tennessee student and writer for The Daily Beacon student newspaper, made the suggestion of writing in Bray's name in an editorial column criticizing student government elections on the Tennessee campus. "If you simply must participate in the impending democratic sham, I suggest you write in the name — in every available category — of the only man to invigorate and inspire this campus over the last year ... Tyler Bray. UT's freshman quarterback sensation brought back a feeling of hope and optimism to UT football that has not been seen in almost a decade. Will he get anything done if elected? Who knows, but he could not do any worse." Mullins said the above in jest. But in a more recent column he got a little more serious about Bray's leadership qualities. "First, he has tremendous experience at getting people motivated. Though just a freshman, he has brought a sense of electricity that arguably has not been seen in years. One could argue that only the great Eric Berry — a former write-in candidate for the same position — turned more heads in the last decade. Can Bray motivate students? To quote Sarah Palin, "You betcha." After all, he does bring 100,000 out of their seats on a routine basis."This might end up being nothing more like Quixotic attempt to make Admiral Ackbar the mascot at Ole Miss, but you never can tell. But I'm sure the Tennessee student body can be rest assured that Bray would have its (star-tattooed) back if he was elected. (HT: Rocky Top Talk) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Auburn, Tyler Bray, and Mike Anderson as Neo.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Auburn, Tyler Bray, and Mike Anderson as Neo.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)       Least shocking reaction of the day. Ex-Auburn players don't believe the HBO Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel  claims of illegal payments to Auburn recruits. Of course they don't . (al.com) Auburn should get the Death Penalty from the NCAA. Because T. Kyle King says so. Shut up, Kyle. (Dawg Sports) I'll see your Auburn death penalty, and raise you one for Tennessee. Mike Bianchi says the NCAA should give the death penalty to Auburn and to Tennessee's men's basketball program too. Shut up, Mike. (Orlando Sentinel) Mo-money. Alabama Board of Regents approve new contracts and/or contract extentions for Alabama assistant football coaches. (al.com) Mindless BCS speculation of the day. Mark Bradley writes on the chances that the Chick-fil-A Bowl could replace the tarnished Fiesta Bowl in the BCS. Shit up, Mark. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) A Few Small Repairs. Tennessee looks to fixing its punt-return team during spring practice. (Go Vols Xtra) Tyler Bray or bust? With Mike Hamilton's continued job as Tennessee athletic director in doubt, Derek Dooley's job as head football coach may depend on the development of sophomore quarterback Tyler Bray. (ChuckOliver.net) Mixed (Alligator) bag. Spring practice at Florida brings a mixed bag of expectations. (Miami Herald) ESPN keeping the legal department busy. ESPN is suing Conference USA for allegedly breaking a contract extension agreement to sign a deal with FOX Sports Media Group. (ChuckOliver.net) BASKETBALL Alabama gets WuShocked. Wichita State beats Alabama in the NIT Championship Game. Which makes the Tide the 70th best team in the country. (ESPN) Mike Anderson is Keanu Reeves? The new Arkansas men's head basketball coach's last names leads to several annoying references to The Matrix. Hopefully, images and articles with Bobby Petrino as Morpheus don't start showing up. (ArkansasOnline) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: Les Miles does reality TV.

Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: Les Miles does reality TV.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

You've got to hand it to LSU, because they sure know their April Fool's Jokes. Last year LSUSports.net announced on April 1 that Tiger Stadium would be installing purple field turf. This time around, it's Les Miles being the subject of a reality TV Show called Sod Wars. (And no, it's not on The Food Network.) "Sod Wars debuting on SPIKE TV this summer will feature LSU football head coach Les Miles in the series premiere, the network has announced.  Sod Wars pits two homeowners against each other to determine who has the best yard in the neighborhood. Each contestant is given a $10,000 budget for the week to create a dream landscape in their yard, with celebrity judges determining the winner.  Within the week-long period there will be bonus points based on challenges and obstacles such as wild animals and destruction of flower beds with explosives that wreak havoc on the contestants." And just for fun, there's even a Sod Wars website you can check out. Well played, Mauer.  (HT: And the Valley Shook) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Happy April Fool's Day. Hide your kids. Hide your wife.

Happy April Fool's Day. Hide your kids. Hide your wife.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

It's April 1. You know what that means. If you hear news like your favorite college team is going Boise State and installing a field colored something other than green (like LSU did last year), don't believe a single word of it. Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The NBA has 99 Problems with Jay-Z's visit to Kentucky locker room.

The NBA has 99 Problems with Jay-Z's visit to Kentucky locker room.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 31, 2011

The NBA is looking into a visit to the Kentucky locker room by part-owner of the New York Knicks Jay-Z. The Association's rules bar contacts with non-draft eligible players by team officials, and apparently Jay-Z counts as being one. An NBA spokesman confirms that the league is investigating Jay-Z’s presence in Kentucky’s locker room after the Wildcats clinched a Final Four berth. The rapper visited the players after their victory over North Carolina on Sunday at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J, home of the Nets. Jay-Z is a part-owner of the team and attended the Nets’ 120-116 loss at New York on Wednesday. No word from the NCAA yet about the NBA probe. But you just have to know they're looking for a reason to go after John Calipari. Jay-Z may have handed it too them. (via Rivals.com) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Your Freudian Nightmare of the Night: J Leman as...Red She-Hulk?

Your Freudian Nightmare of the Night: J Leman as...Red She-Hulk?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 30, 2011

This is supposed to be former Illinois linebacker J Leman, who usually takes on the role as precursor/tag-team partner of America's Quarterback, Ricky Stanzi over at the Iowa blog/Fantasy Factory known as Black Heart Gold Pants. Here, he's taking on the roll of American Gladiator's Malibu in a bizarre dream sequence Stanzi is having. Though to be honest, he look more like this:   Betty Ross Banner a.k.a The Red She-Hulk! Scared? So am I. I have enough nightmares coming from the Big Ten for She-Leman to start going after me. Imagine what'll happen when she, Bucky Badger, and Purdue Pete start ganging up on me. (via Black Heart Gold Pants) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Houston Nutt targets lack of discipline at Ole Miss.

Houston Nutt targets lack of discipline at Ole Miss.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 30, 2011

Anyone who reads Entertainment Weekly on a frequent basis knows about it's back of the book "The Bullseye" feature, which rates the week's hits and misses in entertainment news (or what passes for it). Houston Nutt seems to have taken that idea to a whole new level, by using it to shame his players into submission. He's simplified the thing, by getting rid of the near misses not hitting the bullseye being good, and making sure the players who stray from his rules know they're on his "List You Don't Want to Be On" (To borrow disgraced former CNN media personality Rick Sanchez's spiel.) “Started back in January,” Nutt said. “As soon as they got back we made what we call a circle of champions. That’s a circle of excellence. And what that means is we want everybody to do it the right way.” This goes back to what Nutt has said before, of course, the part about how a lack of discipline and the so-called ‘little things’ were a big reason why the Rebels went 4-8 last season after back-to-back nine-win seasons. In Nutt’s first two seasons, he said, there was an assumption, based on strong leadership, that things would be done the right way. This offseason, he wanted to, essentially, force the issue. “So when we got back we said that everybody’s going to pick a partner,” Nutt said. “And if your partner doesn’t go to class, you both run. One of you oversleeps? Both of you overslept. And both of you have got to pay a penalty. And so you get so many penalties and you start, you get outside — you don’t want to be outside the blue. What I’m excited about, with 121 right now, I think we’ve got four names up there.” Four, because of the partner system." The players who have apparently lost Nutt's trust, by the way, are wide reciever Ja-Mes Logan, defensive back Wesley Pendleton,  wide reciever Korvic Neat, and running back Brandon Bolden.  Or at least one member of each pair has. The other partner gets the thumbs down for not keeping the other in check. (via The Clarion-Ledger. HT: Dr. Saturday) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Mark Dantonio, Taylor Martinez, and Jesse James (really)

Big Tentacles: Mark Dantonio, Taylor Martinez, and Jesse James (really)

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 29, 2011

Taking it personal. The Jim Tressel scandal hits close to home to Michigan State head football coach Mark Dantoinio, who was Tressel's former defensive coordinator. (Detroit Free Press) Please adjust your schedules accordingly. Wisconsin's home opener against UNLV may be moved to Thursday night, Sept. 1. Yes, ESPN is involved with this. (Las Vegas Sun) Indiana Wants Me. A Big Ten Welcome to Nebraska from an Indiana blogger. (Off Tackle Empire) The elephant in the room. The upcoming inner-divisional Big Ten rivalry between Nebraska and Penn State naturally brings up the legendary 1994 meeting between the two schools. (Corn Nation) Comfort zone. Nebraska quarterback Taylor Martinez says he feels “a lot more comfortable” with with talking to the media than he was as a freshman. (Big Red Today) Massaro out. Penn State defensive end Massaro will miss the 2011 season due to a torn ACL. (Linebacker U) The James Gang. Penn State has a 2012 commitment from a recruit named Jesse James. Insert obvious joke about Joe Paterno meeting the real Jesse James back in the Old West here. (Black Shoe Diaries) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Steve Spurrier, Cuonzo Martin, Mike Anderson, and haiku about John Brantley.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Steve Spurrier, Cuonzo Martin, Mike Anderson, and haiku about John Brantley.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 28, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)   Least shocking news out of South Carolina spring practice. South Carolina head football coach Steve Spurrier is already criticizing the play of his quarterbacks. (The Post and Courier) The Usual Suspects. A list of the "Top 10 Games involving SEC teams in 2011" features the usual top SEC rivalry matchups, plus a few high-profile games against non-conference opponents. (Bubba 'n Earl Sittin' on the 50) Vanderbilt spring scrimmage highlights. And stop chuckling. (ChuckOliver.net) Just visiting. Former Ohio State wide receiver Duron Carter is reportedly expected to pay an unofficial visit to Alabama this coming weekend. He's the son of former Vikings great Chris Carter. (al.com) Let it Flow. A flow chart to help Auburn find a quarterback to replace Cam Newton. (The Belly of the Beast) Poetry Corner. A haiku about Florida quarterback John Brantley? A haiku about Florida quarterback John Brantley. (EDSBS) BASKETBALL The Butler...well, you know. Dissecting Florida's NCAA Tournament loss to Butler.Which may end up being the only time this year the Gator's lose to a school with the nickname "Bulldogs" (Miami Herald) Call the Shots. Mike Bianchi criticizes Florida's shot selection in the loss to Butler. Shut up, Mike. (Orlando Sentinel) The new guy. Reaction to the Tennessee's hiring of Cuonzo Martin to replace the embattled Bruce Pearl as head men's basketball coach. (Rocky Top Talk) The other new guy. Evaluating the hire of Arkansas' new head basketball coach, Mike Anderson. (Arkansas Expats) History lesson. How Nolan Richardson's coaching philosophy at Arkansas became known as "40 Minutes of Hell." (Swish Appeal) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

What if The NCAA Final Four were - The FRIGHTFUL FOUR?

What if The NCAA Final Four were - The FRIGHTFUL FOUR?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 28, 2011

Longtime readers of Shirts With Random Triangles might recall last year that  I compared the 2010 NCAA Final Four to the stars of The World's Greatest Comic Magazine, The Fantastic Four. Lots of things have changed in a year. Johnny Storm, The Human Torch, was killed off, the FF's book was canceled. And the remaining FF members have reformed into something called the Future Foundation. (Though I suspect Johnny and the FF will be back in time for what would be the 600th issue of Fantastic Four.) Add to that the fact that it would be pretty hard to truly consider this year's Final Four to The Fantastic Four. It's not that some of the school's aren't fantastic in their own way. It's just that some of this year's Final Four basketball teams are just too freaking evil to compare to  Reed Richards and crew. So with that in mind, what better group to compare this year's Final Four to than the Fantastic Four's evil opposites - The Frightful Four! First appearing as together as a unit in Fantastic Four #36, the Frightful Four have come together over and over again to plague the world's greatest adventurers in one form or another. Just to keep things simple, I'm going to use the groups original line-up of The Wizard, The Trapster, The Sandman, and Madame Medusa to compare against Kentucky, VCU, UConn, and Butler. Kentucky as - The Wizard! The scheming brains behind the Frightful Four, The Wizard (aka The Wingless Wizard) is the obvious group member to compare to Kentucky and its head coach John Calipari. Both the Wizard and Calipari are ruthless, ethicless, and just downright unlikable. Also they usually come up short in their desperate schemes, leaving nothing but ruins and shattered dreams in their wake. Be warned, Wildcat fans. That Final Four you have so desired may turn out to be like another classic Marvel villain - The Vanisher. UConn as - The Sandman! Another quite easy choice. The Sandman is the Frightful Four member that is the most dangerous, but which everyone somehow seems to underestimate when push comes to shove. This is in so may ways similar to UConn and its head basketball coach Jim Calhoun. Many people underestimated the Huskies this year, and paid for it with busted brackets. VCU as - The Trapster! No one really expects The Trapster to give them much trouble. But time and again, he surprises them with his guile and his more-dangerous-that-it-looks paste gun. Don't laugh, that thing releases an adhesive that even The Thing has trouble breaking out of.  Like The Trapster, nobody expected VCU to give them much trouble in the NCAA Tournament. With each game, however, the Rams plastered even favored teams like Purdue and Kansas. Butler as - Madame Medusa! Medusa isn't really evil. In fact, she only got involved with the Frightful Four because she had lost her memory and forgotten her life as a member of the Inhuman Royal Family.  She eventually learned her true identity, however, and left the life of crime to take her rightful place beside her true love, Black Bolt. She even switched sides and joined the Fantastic Four once! That said, Butler is the obvious choice to pair up with Medusa because she's not really evil. And like Butler, enemies don't expect her and her stretchable, malleable, mane of hair to be a serious threat. Both she and Butler usually prove them wrong. Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tavarres King, Vince Dooley and Gene Chizik as Willy Loman

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tavarres King, Vince Dooley and Gene Chizik as Willy Loman

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 27, 2011

 (Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)  Under Pressure. Gerogia receiver Tavarres King says he's feeling the pressure of replacing A.J. Green. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Numbers game. Georgia center Ben Jones will be changing the number on his jersey from 61 to 60, to honor his late father. The number 60 was previously unavailable to Jones because offensive lineman Clint Boling had been wearing it. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Garden Party. Vince Dooley has decided to share his obsession with gardening with the rest of the world in his new book, Vince Dooley's Garden: a Horticultural Journey of a Football Coach. (Knoxville News Sentinel) Please adjust your calendars? Mississippi State's season opening game against Memphis may be moved from Saturday, September 3, to Thursday, September 1. (ChuckOliver.net) Moore suspended. Alabama suspends defensive end Brandon Moore for unspecified violation of  "team rules and policy." (Montgomery Advertiser) Tennessee wallpaper. For when you absolutely,  positively, need a Tennessee background on your computer. Sadly, a wallpaper featuring Tyler Bray's infamous back tattoo is not available. (Go Vols Xtra) Gene Chizik = Willy Loman? Auburn's head football coach is described as "the guy who made that one big sale, got puffed up, then rested on his laurels for an eternity" by an Alabama Blog annoyed at his constantly reminding people he won the BCS Championship. (Capstone Report) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Rex Ryan wants his son to go to Alabama. Nick Saban must be thrilled.

Rex Ryan wants his son to go to Alabama. Nick Saban must be thrilled.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 27, 2011

It should come as no one's surprise that outspoken New York Jets head football coach Rex Ryan has a son that plays football. Young Seth Ryan, according to his father, has "Kill" and "Mad skills. At least that's what Rex Says. And it looks like he's eyeing Alabama as the school where he wants to send his son to. "I want him to learn football," Ryan said. "He wants to be a coach and all that. Alabama's not going to be excited about him. He's not a great player, but he's a good one. But he's going to be a great coach one day. I want him to be around the best, and that's why I want to bring him here." Well that's just what Nick Saban needs. His own personal Craig and Adam James combo. You can imagine how that coach/player/player's dad relationship is going to turn out. Especially in dealing with an ego like Rex Ryan's. Hopefully for Saban, if Seth Ryan does go to Alabama, Big Daddy Rex will still be coaching the Jets and be too busy making watching films to be too much of a helicopter dad. That and that young Seth is a better player and less of a brat than Adam James was. Otherwise, the Alabama maintenance staff may want to make sure that their electrical sheds  are all locked. (via al.com) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Steve Spurrier's  "arrest" video.

Steve Spurrier's "arrest" video.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 26, 2011

South Carolina head football coach Steve Spurrier fakes his own arrest. Obviously for crimes against humanity. The fun begins about 1:26. This has to be a subtle message to Stephen Garcia to get his act together. (via GamecockAnthemTube on YouTube) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Steve Spurrier laid down the law to Stephen Garcia, and made him get a haircut too.

Steve Spurrier laid down the law to Stephen Garcia, and made him get a haircut too.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 25, 2011

Garcia before Coach Spurrier made him chop his hair off. South Carolina starting quarterback Stephen Garcia spoke to the media for the first time since his week-long suspension. Garcia spent a week out of practice as punishment over an alleged night of debauchery night in Atlanta before the team's appearance in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. He promised the media that such a thing wouldn't happen again. "Just got to be smarter, that's the bottom line," he said. "You know the last time I got in trouble was three or four years ago..it was a bad decision on my part down in Atlanta. Nothing bad is going to happen again. That's a guarantee," Garcia said following practice." Garcia said that he had spoken to South Carolina head football coach Steve Spurrier about the incident, and asked what he could do to make amends. Needless to say, The Old Ball Coach took very good advantage of the situation. "Garcia said Spurrier gave him a list of “10 or 12 suggestions” on improving himself during his final season with a USC team expected to once again contend for an SEC title. Garcia would only divulge one: cutting his long hair." Obviously, the world "suggestions" is a Spurrier code word for "Do make me do to you what I used to do to Georgia back in the day, boy." As you can tell from the video below, Garcia went to the barber and got his mangy locks chopped off. Spurrier was apparently  merciful and didn't tell him to shave, though. There is no word about what the other twelve "suggerstions" were, but they probably involve avoiding drinking and co-eds in varying states of undress. (via Anderson Independent Mail, WLTX) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

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