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Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Kentucky, Derek Dooley, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Kentucky, Derek Dooley, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 3, 2011

Kentucky knocked out of Final Four by UConn. If it makes John Calipari feel any better, Charlie Sheen apparently had a worse night than he did Saturday night. (Rivals.com) His Hairness is not amused. Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley wasn't very pleased with his team's performance in the first scrimmage of the year. (Go Vols Xtra) Mack Daddy. Ole Miss quarterback Randall Mackey stood out the most in the Running Rebels' first spring practice scrimmage. (The Clarion-Ledger) Rambo on ice. Gerogia safety Bacarri Rambo will miss the rest of spring practice due a sprained MCL. (Athens Banner-Herald). Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Clay Travis disses Tennessee's hire of Cuonzo Martin.

Clay Travis disses Tennessee's hire of Cuonzo Martin.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 3, 2011

Former Fanhouse columnist Clay Travis is not enamored over Tennessee's hiring of Cunozo to replace the embattled Bruce Pearl as the Volunteer's head men's basketball coach. He has pretty much said so in an article on his blog about the pay scales of coaches in the SEC. And he threw a shot in at Derek Dooley for good measure. "Some UT fans have been upset at me for ripping the Cuonzo Martin hire on the radio and Twitter. But most of those fans have missed my critique. It’s not that I think Martin is destined to fail, it’s that he’s not a proven success. And an athletic department as big as Tennessee should be in the business of only hiring proven successes. How do they do that? By paying more for talent than their competitors can afford." Shut up, Clay. Getting a high profile basketball coach to come to a school whose basketball program is all but assured of getting ban-hammered by the NCAA is really expecting a lot.  How many high-profile coaches want to go to a program that probably won't be seeing any NCAA tournament appearances due the moral lapses of the previous coach? Probably less than the number of satisfied audience members of Charlie Sheen's first show of his "Torpedo of Truth" show in Detroit.  Travis went on to take aim at both Martin and Derek Dooley. "The result is two coaches, Derek Dooley and Cuonzo Martin, who are, as a duo, the least accomplished coaches in the entirety of the SEC. Between them they have one bowl win and no NCAA tourney appearances. So, to forestall the emails from people who don’t get my point, I’m not saying that Tennessee should be paying Dooley and Martin more money or that Dooley and Martin are foredoomed to fail. I’m simply saying that Tennessee should have been capable of pricing itself out of the Dooley and Martin market to begin with. The Vols should have hired proven successes and paid them for it." To quote that great philosopher and wannabe professional soccer player Chad (Johnson) "Oh child, please." In both situations, Tennessee was behind a rock and a hard place. Getting a high profile coach to replace Lane Kiffin at the time of the year that he bolted Knoxville wasn't going to be in the odds. The fact that the Vols' managed to woo Derek Dooley from Louisiana Tech makes them pretty darn lucky, especially if Dooley turns out to be as good of a coach as his father was. (Besides that, Travis better be afraid when Dooley's mama, Barbara Dooley, hears about his article.) Travis is way off the mark in expecting "high profile" coaches to come to programs carrying at least a little bit of baggage. (Or in Tennessee men's basketball case, an entire Mori Luggage and Gifts warehouse full of baggage.) Expecting a Roy Williams or even a Brad Stephens to drop everything to come to a program that is most probably going on heavy probation for Bruce Pearl's recruiting violations is at best disingenuous and at worse highly delusional. Travis should know better than this. (via ClayTravis.net) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Denard Robinson, Kirk Cousins, Jamal Turner, and more.

Big Tentacles: Denard Robinson, Kirk Cousins, Jamal Turner, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 2, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)  Play like the pros. An argument for  the new pro-style offense at Michigan. (Maize n Brew) Learning to Fly. As for Michigan quarterback Denard Robinson, he is reportedly "doing a great job" adapting to the new pro-style of offense. (Detroit Free Press) To the Mancave, Robin. A Michigan-themed Mancave to make even the most ardent Ohio State fan jealous. (M Victors) Throwback to the Future. Michigan and Notre Dame will be donning retro uniforms for the  first-ever night home game in Fighting Irish history. (Dr. Saturday) Meanwhile, Ohio State will be going in the other direction with modern-day gray digital camouflage helmets during spring practice. It probably won't help the Buckeye's  hide from the Tresselgate controversy.  (Dr. Saturday) Step Up.  Michigan State quarterback Kirk Cousins is looking forward to taking a bigger leadership role in 2011. (Detroit Free Press) Electric Slide. Nebraska is hoping that Jamal Turner, who was recruited as a quarterback, will be able to being his "electricity" to the wide receiver posistion in 2011. (Big Red Today) Yo, I'm taking a survey. Reaction to a survey sent out by Northwestern on proposed facility upgrades for the school's athletic program. (Lake the Posts) Welcome To the Jungle. A Penn State blogger welcomes Nebraska to the Big Ten. (Off Tackle Empire) BASKETBALL A Few Small Repairs. A proposal on how to smooth out the tricky divisionless new Big Ten basketball schedule. (M Go Blog) Something to Believe In. Despite a less-than stellar NCAA Tournament run, Ohio State guard William Buford deserves the support of Buckeye fans, according to Eleven Warriors. (Eleven Warriors) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unfunny April Fools Jokes (?): Auburn sponsoring Darrel Waltrip at Talladega?

Unfunny April Fools Jokes (?): Auburn sponsoring Darrel Waltrip at Talladega?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

Unless I hear otherwise I'm calling bull on this one. Auburn's official website is reporting that Michael Waltrip's #15 Toyota will feature an Auburn-themed paint scheme for the April 17 Aaron's 500 at Talladega. The date on the press release being April 1, 2010 makes me a little suspicious. Then again, the press release also reports that Auburn head football coach Gene Chizik will be serving in the role of Grand Marshal for the race. And al.com and the Orlando Sentinel are reporting on the story as fact. So I'm just going to file this under the "I'll believe it when I see it" file. (via Orlando Sentinel, al.com) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: UGA Nike Pro Combat uniforms.

Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: UGA Nike Pro Combat uniforms.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

  I have no doubt this is fake, since Georgia AD Greg McGarity hasn't really shown much of a spine (not to mention other sundry parts of the male anatomy) to even try another alternative uniform stunt. Though give credit to From Hedges to Hardwood for trying something different. (via From Hedges to Hardwood) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Is a campaign to elect Tyler Bray Tennessee SGA President written in the stars?

Is a campaign to elect Tyler Bray Tennessee SGA President written in the stars?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

There are times when comments made in jest take a mind of their own. Such seems the case for an apparent campaign to elect Tennessee star (pardon the pun) quarterback Tyler Bray as president of the school's student government.  The movement even has its own  Bray star-studded back tattoo inspired logo, along with the inevitable Facebook  and Twitter account.   Here's the spiel on the Facebook  page. "Tyler Bray has grown in his ability to lead both on and off the field this year as is evidenced by his play and shampoo choice. This group is for students at the University of Tennessee who want to be led by a man that will take charge once elected president. Tyler Bray is a man of the people and for the people and if elected, we are sure he will not disappoint our student body in the ridiculous manner that both Spark and Reach are sure to do. Tyler has a motto: no suits, no ties, no lies. He is a man of principle and has always stood by that motto. So students if you want a leader that is truly dedicated to getting this University back on top where it once was, we urge you to vote Tyler Bray for SGA Student Body President." How did this idea start. Apparently Derek Mullins, Tennessee student and writer for The Daily Beacon student newspaper, made the suggestion of writing in Bray's name in an editorial column criticizing student government elections on the Tennessee campus. "If you simply must participate in the impending democratic sham, I suggest you write in the name — in every available category — of the only man to invigorate and inspire this campus over the last year ... Tyler Bray. UT's freshman quarterback sensation brought back a feeling of hope and optimism to UT football that has not been seen in almost a decade. Will he get anything done if elected? Who knows, but he could not do any worse." Mullins said the above in jest. But in a more recent column he got a little more serious about Bray's leadership qualities. "First, he has tremendous experience at getting people motivated. Though just a freshman, he has brought a sense of electricity that arguably has not been seen in years. One could argue that only the great Eric Berry — a former write-in candidate for the same position — turned more heads in the last decade. Can Bray motivate students? To quote Sarah Palin, "You betcha." After all, he does bring 100,000 out of their seats on a routine basis."This might end up being nothing more like Quixotic attempt to make Admiral Ackbar the mascot at Ole Miss, but you never can tell. But I'm sure the Tennessee student body can be rest assured that Bray would have its (star-tattooed) back if he was elected. (HT: Rocky Top Talk) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Auburn, Tyler Bray, and Mike Anderson as Neo.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Auburn, Tyler Bray, and Mike Anderson as Neo.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)       Least shocking reaction of the day. Ex-Auburn players don't believe the HBO Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel  claims of illegal payments to Auburn recruits. Of course they don't . (al.com) Auburn should get the Death Penalty from the NCAA. Because T. Kyle King says so. Shut up, Kyle. (Dawg Sports) I'll see your Auburn death penalty, and raise you one for Tennessee. Mike Bianchi says the NCAA should give the death penalty to Auburn and to Tennessee's men's basketball program too. Shut up, Mike. (Orlando Sentinel) Mo-money. Alabama Board of Regents approve new contracts and/or contract extentions for Alabama assistant football coaches. (al.com) Mindless BCS speculation of the day. Mark Bradley writes on the chances that the Chick-fil-A Bowl could replace the tarnished Fiesta Bowl in the BCS. Shit up, Mark. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) A Few Small Repairs. Tennessee looks to fixing its punt-return team during spring practice. (Go Vols Xtra) Tyler Bray or bust? With Mike Hamilton's continued job as Tennessee athletic director in doubt, Derek Dooley's job as head football coach may depend on the development of sophomore quarterback Tyler Bray. (ChuckOliver.net) Mixed (Alligator) bag. Spring practice at Florida brings a mixed bag of expectations. (Miami Herald) ESPN keeping the legal department busy. ESPN is suing Conference USA for allegedly breaking a contract extension agreement to sign a deal with FOX Sports Media Group. (ChuckOliver.net) BASKETBALL Alabama gets WuShocked. Wichita State beats Alabama in the NIT Championship Game. Which makes the Tide the 70th best team in the country. (ESPN) Mike Anderson is Keanu Reeves? The new Arkansas men's head basketball coach's last names leads to several annoying references to The Matrix. Hopefully, images and articles with Bobby Petrino as Morpheus don't start showing up. (ArkansasOnline) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: Les Miles does reality TV.

Unfunny April Fool's Jokes: Les Miles does reality TV.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

You've got to hand it to LSU, because they sure know their April Fool's Jokes. Last year LSUSports.net announced on April 1 that Tiger Stadium would be installing purple field turf. This time around, it's Les Miles being the subject of a reality TV Show called Sod Wars. (And no, it's not on The Food Network.) "Sod Wars debuting on SPIKE TV this summer will feature LSU football head coach Les Miles in the series premiere, the network has announced.  Sod Wars pits two homeowners against each other to determine who has the best yard in the neighborhood. Each contestant is given a $10,000 budget for the week to create a dream landscape in their yard, with celebrity judges determining the winner.  Within the week-long period there will be bonus points based on challenges and obstacles such as wild animals and destruction of flower beds with explosives that wreak havoc on the contestants." And just for fun, there's even a Sod Wars website you can check out. Well played, Mauer.  (HT: And the Valley Shook) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Happy April Fool's Day. Hide your kids. Hide your wife.

Happy April Fool's Day. Hide your kids. Hide your wife.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 1, 2011

It's April 1. You know what that means. If you hear news like your favorite college team is going Boise State and installing a field colored something other than green (like LSU did last year), don't believe a single word of it. Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The NBA has 99 Problems with Jay-Z's visit to Kentucky locker room.

The NBA has 99 Problems with Jay-Z's visit to Kentucky locker room.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 31, 2011

The NBA is looking into a visit to the Kentucky locker room by part-owner of the New York Knicks Jay-Z. The Association's rules bar contacts with non-draft eligible players by team officials, and apparently Jay-Z counts as being one. An NBA spokesman confirms that the league is investigating Jay-Z’s presence in Kentucky’s locker room after the Wildcats clinched a Final Four berth. The rapper visited the players after their victory over North Carolina on Sunday at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J, home of the Nets. Jay-Z is a part-owner of the team and attended the Nets’ 120-116 loss at New York on Wednesday. No word from the NCAA yet about the NBA probe. But you just have to know they're looking for a reason to go after John Calipari. Jay-Z may have handed it too them. (via Rivals.com) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Your Freudian Nightmare of the Night: J Leman as...Red She-Hulk?

Your Freudian Nightmare of the Night: J Leman as...Red She-Hulk?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 30, 2011

This is supposed to be former Illinois linebacker J Leman, who usually takes on the role as precursor/tag-team partner of America's Quarterback, Ricky Stanzi over at the Iowa blog/Fantasy Factory known as Black Heart Gold Pants. Here, he's taking on the roll of American Gladiator's Malibu in a bizarre dream sequence Stanzi is having. Though to be honest, he look more like this:   Betty Ross Banner a.k.a The Red She-Hulk! Scared? So am I. I have enough nightmares coming from the Big Ten for She-Leman to start going after me. Imagine what'll happen when she, Bucky Badger, and Purdue Pete start ganging up on me. (via Black Heart Gold Pants) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Houston Nutt targets lack of discipline at Ole Miss.

Houston Nutt targets lack of discipline at Ole Miss.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 30, 2011

Anyone who reads Entertainment Weekly on a frequent basis knows about it's back of the book "The Bullseye" feature, which rates the week's hits and misses in entertainment news (or what passes for it). Houston Nutt seems to have taken that idea to a whole new level, by using it to shame his players into submission. He's simplified the thing, by getting rid of the near misses not hitting the bullseye being good, and making sure the players who stray from his rules know they're on his "List You Don't Want to Be On" (To borrow disgraced former CNN media personality Rick Sanchez's spiel.) “Started back in January,” Nutt said. “As soon as they got back we made what we call a circle of champions. That’s a circle of excellence. And what that means is we want everybody to do it the right way.” This goes back to what Nutt has said before, of course, the part about how a lack of discipline and the so-called ‘little things’ were a big reason why the Rebels went 4-8 last season after back-to-back nine-win seasons. In Nutt’s first two seasons, he said, there was an assumption, based on strong leadership, that things would be done the right way. This offseason, he wanted to, essentially, force the issue. “So when we got back we said that everybody’s going to pick a partner,” Nutt said. “And if your partner doesn’t go to class, you both run. One of you oversleeps? Both of you overslept. And both of you have got to pay a penalty. And so you get so many penalties and you start, you get outside — you don’t want to be outside the blue. What I’m excited about, with 121 right now, I think we’ve got four names up there.” Four, because of the partner system." The players who have apparently lost Nutt's trust, by the way, are wide reciever Ja-Mes Logan, defensive back Wesley Pendleton,  wide reciever Korvic Neat, and running back Brandon Bolden.  Or at least one member of each pair has. The other partner gets the thumbs down for not keeping the other in check. (via The Clarion-Ledger. HT: Dr. Saturday) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Mark Dantonio, Taylor Martinez, and Jesse James (really)

Big Tentacles: Mark Dantonio, Taylor Martinez, and Jesse James (really)

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 29, 2011

Taking it personal. The Jim Tressel scandal hits close to home to Michigan State head football coach Mark Dantoinio, who was Tressel's former defensive coordinator. (Detroit Free Press) Please adjust your schedules accordingly. Wisconsin's home opener against UNLV may be moved to Thursday night, Sept. 1. Yes, ESPN is involved with this. (Las Vegas Sun) Indiana Wants Me. A Big Ten Welcome to Nebraska from an Indiana blogger. (Off Tackle Empire) The elephant in the room. The upcoming inner-divisional Big Ten rivalry between Nebraska and Penn State naturally brings up the legendary 1994 meeting between the two schools. (Corn Nation) Comfort zone. Nebraska quarterback Taylor Martinez says he feels “a lot more comfortable” with with talking to the media than he was as a freshman. (Big Red Today) Massaro out. Penn State defensive end Massaro will miss the 2011 season due to a torn ACL. (Linebacker U) The James Gang. Penn State has a 2012 commitment from a recruit named Jesse James. Insert obvious joke about Joe Paterno meeting the real Jesse James back in the Old West here. (Black Shoe Diaries) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Steve Spurrier, Cuonzo Martin, Mike Anderson, and haiku about John Brantley.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Steve Spurrier, Cuonzo Martin, Mike Anderson, and haiku about John Brantley.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 28, 2011

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)   Least shocking news out of South Carolina spring practice. South Carolina head football coach Steve Spurrier is already criticizing the play of his quarterbacks. (The Post and Courier) The Usual Suspects. A list of the "Top 10 Games involving SEC teams in 2011" features the usual top SEC rivalry matchups, plus a few high-profile games against non-conference opponents. (Bubba 'n Earl Sittin' on the 50) Vanderbilt spring scrimmage highlights. And stop chuckling. (ChuckOliver.net) Just visiting. Former Ohio State wide receiver Duron Carter is reportedly expected to pay an unofficial visit to Alabama this coming weekend. He's the son of former Vikings great Chris Carter. (al.com) Let it Flow. A flow chart to help Auburn find a quarterback to replace Cam Newton. (The Belly of the Beast) Poetry Corner. A haiku about Florida quarterback John Brantley? A haiku about Florida quarterback John Brantley. (EDSBS) BASKETBALL The Butler...well, you know. Dissecting Florida's NCAA Tournament loss to Butler.Which may end up being the only time this year the Gator's lose to a school with the nickname "Bulldogs" (Miami Herald) Call the Shots. Mike Bianchi criticizes Florida's shot selection in the loss to Butler. Shut up, Mike. (Orlando Sentinel) The new guy. Reaction to the Tennessee's hiring of Cuonzo Martin to replace the embattled Bruce Pearl as head men's basketball coach. (Rocky Top Talk) The other new guy. Evaluating the hire of Arkansas' new head basketball coach, Mike Anderson. (Arkansas Expats) History lesson. How Nolan Richardson's coaching philosophy at Arkansas became known as "40 Minutes of Hell." (Swish Appeal) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

What if The NCAA Final Four were - The FRIGHTFUL FOUR?

What if The NCAA Final Four were - The FRIGHTFUL FOUR?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 28, 2011

Longtime readers of Shirts With Random Triangles might recall last year that  I compared the 2010 NCAA Final Four to the stars of The World's Greatest Comic Magazine, The Fantastic Four. Lots of things have changed in a year. Johnny Storm, The Human Torch, was killed off, the FF's book was canceled. And the remaining FF members have reformed into something called the Future Foundation. (Though I suspect Johnny and the FF will be back in time for what would be the 600th issue of Fantastic Four.) Add to that the fact that it would be pretty hard to truly consider this year's Final Four to The Fantastic Four. It's not that some of the school's aren't fantastic in their own way. It's just that some of this year's Final Four basketball teams are just too freaking evil to compare to  Reed Richards and crew. So with that in mind, what better group to compare this year's Final Four to than the Fantastic Four's evil opposites - The Frightful Four! First appearing as together as a unit in Fantastic Four #36, the Frightful Four have come together over and over again to plague the world's greatest adventurers in one form or another. Just to keep things simple, I'm going to use the groups original line-up of The Wizard, The Trapster, The Sandman, and Madame Medusa to compare against Kentucky, VCU, UConn, and Butler. Kentucky as - The Wizard! The scheming brains behind the Frightful Four, The Wizard (aka The Wingless Wizard) is the obvious group member to compare to Kentucky and its head coach John Calipari. Both the Wizard and Calipari are ruthless, ethicless, and just downright unlikable. Also they usually come up short in their desperate schemes, leaving nothing but ruins and shattered dreams in their wake. Be warned, Wildcat fans. That Final Four you have so desired may turn out to be like another classic Marvel villain - The Vanisher. UConn as - The Sandman! Another quite easy choice. The Sandman is the Frightful Four member that is the most dangerous, but which everyone somehow seems to underestimate when push comes to shove. This is in so may ways similar to UConn and its head basketball coach Jim Calhoun. Many people underestimated the Huskies this year, and paid for it with busted brackets. VCU as - The Trapster! No one really expects The Trapster to give them much trouble. But time and again, he surprises them with his guile and his more-dangerous-that-it-looks paste gun. Don't laugh, that thing releases an adhesive that even The Thing has trouble breaking out of.  Like The Trapster, nobody expected VCU to give them much trouble in the NCAA Tournament. With each game, however, the Rams plastered even favored teams like Purdue and Kansas. Butler as - Madame Medusa! Medusa isn't really evil. In fact, she only got involved with the Frightful Four because she had lost her memory and forgotten her life as a member of the Inhuman Royal Family.  She eventually learned her true identity, however, and left the life of crime to take her rightful place beside her true love, Black Bolt. She even switched sides and joined the Fantastic Four once! That said, Butler is the obvious choice to pair up with Medusa because she's not really evil. And like Butler, enemies don't expect her and her stretchable, malleable, mane of hair to be a serious threat. Both she and Butler usually prove them wrong. Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

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