Monday, December 22, 2014 • Morning Edition • "Hope you survive the experience!"
Steve Spurrier laid down the law to Stephen Garcia, and made him get a haircut too.

Steve Spurrier laid down the law to Stephen Garcia, and made him get a haircut too.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 25, 2011

Garcia before Coach Spurrier made him chop his hair off. South Carolina starting quarterback Stephen Garcia spoke to the media for the first time since his week-long suspension. Garcia spent a week out of practice as punishment over an alleged night of debauchery night in Atlanta before the team's appearance in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. He promised the media that such a thing wouldn't happen again. "Just got to be smarter, that's the bottom line," he said. "You know the last time I got in trouble was three or four years ago..it was a bad decision on my part down in Atlanta. Nothing bad is going to happen again. That's a guarantee," Garcia said following practice." Garcia said that he had spoken to South Carolina head football coach Steve Spurrier about the incident, and asked what he could do to make amends. Needless to say, The Old Ball Coach took very good advantage of the situation. "Garcia said Spurrier gave him a list of “10 or 12 suggestions” on improving himself during his final season with a USC team expected to once again contend for an SEC title. Garcia would only divulge one: cutting his long hair." Obviously, the world "suggestions" is a Spurrier code word for "Do make me do to you what I used to do to Georgia back in the day, boy." As you can tell from the video below, Garcia went to the barber and got his mangy locks chopped off. Spurrier was apparently  merciful and didn't tell him to shave, though. There is no word about what the other twelve "suggerstions" were, but they probably involve avoiding drinking and co-eds in varying states of undress. (via Anderson Independent Mail, WLTX) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Jim Tressel shared e-mail information about Pryor, but not with Ohio St. or NCCA.

Jim Tressel shared e-mail information about Pryor, but not with Ohio St. or NCCA.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 25, 2011

News of Ohio State head football coach Jim Tressel's involvement with "Tatgate" keeps getting worse and worse. The Columbus Dispatch is reporting that Tressel  shared information regarding e-mails he had received about Buckeye quarterback Terrelle Pryor's involvement with a tattoo-parlor owner/alleged drug trafficker to Ted Sarniak, a businessman described as Pryor's "mentor." Who Tressel didn't share the information with , of course, were officials of either Ohio State or the NCAA. This is why Tressel is suspended for the first five games of the 2011 season. (via The Columbus Dispatch) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Florida plays Quidditch. (aka Harry Potter Wears Jean Shorts).

Florida plays Quidditch. (aka Harry Potter Wears Jean Shorts).

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2011

Great, here's another sport that Florida can beat Georgia in. What's whose: It's a made up sport from the Harry Potter books. Quidditch, the imaginary game played on broomsticks, has gained popularity with college students wanting to stall their journey to adulthood as much as possible. (While at the same time, consuming as much adult beverages as they can.) Sadly these muggles can't fly. But that hasn't stopped college students from embarrassing themselves, their parents, and various university officials before. Video: College Experiment: Quidditch Cup If you think this is bad? Wait until The Gators face the Bulldogs in the World's Largest Outdoor Butterbeer Party. Then things get really out of hand. (via EDSBS) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Your Freudian Nightmare of the Night: A kid dressed up as Jim Tressel

Your Freudian Nightmare of the Night: A kid dressed up as Jim Tressel

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2011

Here's a photo from a recent Jim Tressel autograph signing. Funny, I never knew Ralphie was an Ohio State fan. What kind of deranged parents would allow their child to dress up like this? Okay, besides Kurt Herbstreit? (via No Guts No Glory) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Big Tentacles: Nebraska, Michigan, Lou Holtz and...Bruce Pearl?

Big Tentacles: Nebraska, Michigan, Lou Holtz and...Bruce Pearl?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2011

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big Ten and the schools it not-so-secretly covets.)   Youth Movement. Nebraska looks to have an offensive line with limited or no starting experience in 2011. (Big Red Today) Welcome to the Jungle. An Iowa blogger welcomes Nebraska to the Big Ten. Sadly for Nebraska, it's one of the Black Heart Gold Pants crew. (Off Tackle Empire) Doctor Doctor. Notre Dame plans to give Lou Holtz a genuine honorary doctorate. Now if we can only find a school that will make John Cena an actual  honorary Doctorate of Thuganomics. (Dr. Saturday) New Low. Six Air Force pilots who took part in a flyover of last year's Ohio State-Iowa game are getting reprimanded for flying too low to the ground. (Dr. Saturday) Maize Heart White Pants? Rumors are going around than Michigan may be planning to wear white pants sometime during the 2011 season. (Maize n Brew) BASKETBALL Highly Evolved? Ohio State's Jon Dieber has gone from a disappointment to one a candidate for the title of "best offensive player in basketball." (Eleven Warriors) Eye of the Tiger on Painter? Missouri may be looking at Purdue's Matt Painter to replace the recently departed Mike Anderson. (Rock M Nation) Bold prediction of the day: "Bruce Pearl could return to coach Iowa" in 2012. Personally I think the Mayan Apocalypse has a better chance of happening. (Business Insider) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Mississippi State invents trophy porn.

Mississippi State invents trophy porn.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2011

What happens when an in-state rivalry trophy meets a bowl game trophy? Two minutes of pure YouTube cheese, that's what. Warning: You might want to send the kids out of the room before you click on this one.   (via Friends of the Program) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Should Urban Meyer replace Jim Tressel at Ohio State? In a word, no.

Should Urban Meyer replace Jim Tressel at Ohio State? In a word, no.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2011

Should Urban Meyer replace Jim Tressel at Ohio State? That's what Mike Bianchi is reported to have said on 740-AM in Orlando. What do I have to say about the idea?To quote Nick Swisher in my favorite ESPN commercial of last year: "No way, dude." If the idea for Ohio State were to "clean up" its program after Tressel and his handling of "Tatgate," then Meyer might not be the best candidate for the job. Sure, Meyer led Florida to two BCS championships. But put aside the crystal footballs and Tim Tebow, and you might see a few troubling issues for Ohio St. Namely, the arrests of at least 24 Florida players under Meyer's tenure as head football coach in Gainesville. That list just might be long enough to cover up that plaque with Tebow's "Promise Speech" Meyer had erected on the side of the Florida athletic facility. It might be a popular play for Ohio St. to pick Meyer to replace Tressel, but with the Buckeye's issues being off the field, replacing a winner with a winner may not be the only thing the program needs. It What it would really need is a coach who isn't willing to look the other way when trouble is afoot. Besides, with the possibility of big-time NCAA sanctions hanging over the program, it may not be a too attractive place for Meyer in the first place. (via The Fan Hub) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: SEC schedule, Tyler Bray, Bruce Pearl, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: SEC schedule, Tyler Bray, Bruce Pearl, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 23, 2011

The official SEC 2011 football schedule is out. As if you already didn't know when most of these are going to be played already. (SECSports.com) Monkey Business. EDSBS looks at the early season SEC football schedule with a little help from Flash Rogue Gallery member Gorilla Grodd. (EDSBS) If a player has a Pro Day without any scouts present, is it still a Pro Day? The NFL Lockout meant that A.J. Green worked out on Georgia's Pro Day without the presence of actual NFL scouts. (Athens Banner-Herald) Getting back to normal in Knoxville. Mike Strange believes with Bruce Pearl gone, football can once again regain its rightful place as the biggest sport  in the Vols Nation. (Go Vols Xtra) Growing Pains. Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley expect starting quarterback Tyler Bray to mature in his sophomore year and become a leader on the team. Mature meaning "no more throat-slashing gestures." (Knoxville News Sentinel) Same as it ever was. Auburn offensive coordinator  Gus Malzahn will once again be starting spring practice with having to replace a starting quarterback. With Cam Newton the quarterback being replaced, that could become a truly daunting task. (al.com) A little bit better than I used to be. Alabama head football coach Nick Saban expects the Tide's now more experienced  defense to be better in 2011. (ESPN) BASKETBALL And the nominees are: Reviewing potential candidates to replace Bruce Pearl as Tennessee head men's basketball coach. (Rocky Top Talk) Gone Daddy Gone. South Carolina basketball players Stephen Spinella and Ramon Galloway are now ex-Gamecocks. (Gamecocks Online) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

UGA's Aaron Murray hits somebody in the face with a football on Spring Break.

UGA's Aaron Murray hits somebody in the face with a football on Spring Break.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 23, 2011

Ah, Spring Break in Key West. And what happens in Key West, goes on YouTube. Obviously for Georgia starting quarterback Aaron Murray, this might not be a good thing. Neither for his target in the video. I'm sure Mark Richt and Mike Bobo are going to be really happy about this one. (via David Ching on Twitter) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Tim Tebow calls Jimmer Fredette "Gator Bait."

Tim Tebow calls Jimmer Fredette "Gator Bait."

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 23, 2011

What does Tim Tebow think of America's mancrush, Jimmer Fredette? Not enough to root for him and BYU against His Tebowness' alma mater on Thursday. Admit it, you'd like to lock Tebow and Fredette in a room and see which one converts the other over to his religion first. Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Your moment of Jimmer Fredette manlove of the day, Sports Illustrated edition

Your moment of Jimmer Fredette manlove of the day, Sports Illustrated edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 22, 2011

Okay, so the cover shows his back and not his front. But with an image like that you really can't complain that much. (via SportsGrid) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Bruce Pearl, LSU's Spencer Ware, and more.

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Bruce Pearl, LSU's Spencer Ware, and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 22, 2011

The Downward Spiral. Getting fired by Tennessee might not be the worst thing that happens to Bruce Pearl. (Lonely Tailgater) When Bruce met Mike (kind of). Recalling The Jimmy Collins-Deon Thomas scandal. Involving a then-young assistant coach named Bruce Pearl, and a then attorney named Mike Slive as part of the cast of characters. (Deadspin) It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday. Tennessee assistant basketball coach Mark Pancratz says goodbye to the Vols' Nation on his blog. (The Pancratz Full Court Press) Are you pondering what I'm pondering? The inevitable question on whether or not Tennessee athletic directer Mike Hamilton will be the next to lose his job in the Bruce Pearl recruiting scandal. (Go Vols Xtra). Still going. Despite missing practice on Monday with a sprained ankle, Florida guard Kenny Boynton is expected to play Thursday night against BYU. (Rivals.com)  FOOTBALL In other SEC recruiting scandal news, The NCAA is reportedly nearing the end of an investigation into alleged LSU recruiting violations in 2009. (nola.com) The King's eye on the Tiger. Chuck Oliver takes a look at LSU running backs as part of his "College Football Today" segment on Atlanta's 680 The Fan, and says Spencer Ware is someone you should keep an eye on. (ChuckOliver.net) A.J. McCarron or Phillip Sims?  Alabama's quarterback controversy officially begins with the start of the Crimson Tide's spring practice. (al.com) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Oh snap! J.T. Bowtie's a reality TV "star!"

Oh snap! J.T. Bowtie's a reality TV "star!"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 22, 2011

Oh snap! Tyler Fortenberry, aka J.T. Bowtie, has somehow managed to get on a reality TV show. Fortenberry became infamous for his pro-Alabama alter ego, a Bama-banged fratboy who ridiculed fans of other SEC schools during the 2009 season on YouTube. Well, at least he did until death threats made him pull his videos. Now he's made it to the hallowed fields of basic cable. Fortenberry is a cast member of a Flavor of Love knockoff called Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love Too, which will air on Oxygen. (If this was subtitled "Naughty Girls Need Love Too" I'd be more inclined to watch it). In his bio, Fortenberry claims that "prides himself in being the epitome of a Southern gentleman." (Ahem) He's also listed as "a manager and in-store model at Abercrombie and Fitch." Like you needed another reason to hate him. (via Friends of the Program) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Derek Dooley rewrites the calendar, and declares 2010 as Year One.

Derek Dooley rewrites the calendar, and declares 2010 as Year One.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 22, 2011

Derek Dooley is at it again. First His Hairness tried to realign state borders for his own recruiting purposes. Then  he tried to ban his own mother from entering the state of Tennessee. (That one didn't quite work out, however.) Now Dooley is taking delusional shows of power by SEC coaches to a new level by altering the calendar.  This isn't 2010 anymore, Tennessee fans. This is Year One. “I kind of feel like this is Year One and last year was Year Zero,” Dooley said in his pre-spring practice press conference on Monday. “It was such a unique situation that we walked into last season, it didn’t feel like your first year. I feel like right now, this is Year One." So if this is Year One, does this mean Dooley is  Jack Black? And if so, does it make Tyler Bray Michael Cera? At least you can't say that Derek Dooley doesn't think big. Or that he doesn't have delusions of grandeur, for that matter. Both of which tend to be qualities of either a great football coach, or a completely insane football coach. Or in many cases, both.  (via Go Vols Xtra) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

Bruce Pearl is the $948,728 Man.

Bruce Pearl is the $948,728 Man.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 22, 2011

How much does it take to get rid of a college basketball coach? If you're Tennessee it costs $948,728. That's what it cost the school to pay Bruce Pearl as part of his dismissal agreement. This along with paying the salary of his assistant coaches on his staff through July 31. That's pretty cheap, when considering what it costs to get rid of a coach for being lousy as opposed to being juts crooked. (via Rivals.com) Originally Pubished at: Shirts With Random Triangles

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!