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The 2011 Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game you WON'T be seeing.

The 2011 Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game you WON'T be seeing.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 30, 2010

There was a story flying around about USC and Georgia playing in the 2011 Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game. But Gary Stokan, the game's president, has shot it down. While USC still has interest in playing in the Georgia Dome, UGA already has  Louisville scheduled for that weekend in Athens. Though Louisville isn't as sexy as facing Lane Kiffin and USC, isn't exactly chopped liver with former Gator defensive coordinator Charlie Strong at the Cardinal's helm. And there would bound to be critics claiming that the Dawgs would be trying to run away from facing him, especially if Louisville manages to have a good season next year. Mind you, most of those critics were orange and blue, but appearances are appearances. And on top of that, it would probably cost Georgia a lot of money to scrub the game to boot, through paying off Lousiville, and lost revenue from not playing at home. And even with a profitable football program like Georgia has, money is money, especially in these times. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Your Moment of Tebowness NEWS FLASH: Tebow signs with Broncos.

Your Moment of Tebowness NEWS FLASH: Tebow signs with Broncos.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 29, 2010

Broncos (and Gators) fans can breathe easier. Tebow has gotten his deal done with Denver. "The Broncos have announced that quarterback Tim Tebow, a first-round draft pick for the team, has agreed to terms on a 5-year deal. Tebow will get a five-year contract worth between $11.5 million and $12 million. The guarantee will be in excess of $8 million. There had been a report the contract had a max value of $33 million but that includes difficult to reach incentives." (The Denver Post) 

What Passes for Life: The Washington Nationals, Ryan Couture,

What Passes for Life: The Washington Nationals, Ryan Couture,

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 29, 2010

Washington National fans don't deserve Stephen Strausburg. Because Deadspin says so. (Deadspin) Randy Couture's son signs with Strikeforce. Ryan Couture is set to make his pro MMA debut in a lightweight bout against  Lucas Stark on the August 13 Strikeforce Challengers card in Phoenix, AZ, which will air on Showtime. (SB Nation) Brian Wilson fined. MLB fines San Francisco Giants relief pitcher Brian Wilson $1,000 over the the orange shoes we wore in a game against the Florida Marlins which the Fish complained over. Too bad MLB can't fine the Marlins for not having a spine. Or a pair. (The Palm Beach Post) Troy Aikman won't be on Dancing With the Stars. There must be some rule restricting how many former Dallas Cowboys players and coaches can be involved in reality TV shows at the same time. At least there should be. (Shutdown Corner)

The virtural meeting between Derek Dooley and Bryce Brown you've been dying to see.

The virtural meeting between Derek Dooley and Bryce Brown you've been dying to see.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 29, 2010

And it goes pretty much as you would expect it to.

Big Tentacles:  Big Ten news and notes on Scott Tolzien, Doug Klopacz, and more

Big Tentacles: Big Ten news and notes on Scott Tolzien, Doug Klopacz, and more

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 29, 2010

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.) Memo to the Big Ten. While you're making plans for a Big Ten championship game, take time to learn from the Big 12's steps and missteps in the history of its soon-to-be-defunct championship game. (Omaha World-Herald) 20 Big 10 predictions. Most of these can be defined as being in the "sun will rise tomorrow morning" type. Even the one about Joe Paterno retiring. Nothing really earth-shattering. (The Rivalry, Esq.) Look out for Wisconsin's Scott Tolzien. He might be one of the Big Ten's best chances for a Heisman winner this season. (Bucky's 5th Quarter) Are Michigan's must-win games are UConn and Michigan State?  Wins against Iowa, Penn State, Purdue, and Wisconsin may be more important if Rich Rodriguez want to keep his job. (Ann Arbor.com) Iowa needs an image makeover. An argument that Iowa fans need to be more aggressive in when it comes to getting recognized as a real contender for the BCS championship. Not losing to Northwestern and Ohio State this year would help too. (Black Heart Gold Pants) Is Doug Klopacz ready for his spotlight? After two seasons sidelined to injury, senior linebacker Doug Klopacz looks to prove his worth. (PennLive.com)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tennessee, Ole Miss, Miami, and more

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tennessee, Ole Miss, Miami, and more

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 29, 2010

Derek Dooley demands changes in new Tennessee weight room project. Dooley's request for a one story weight room instead of the planned two-story building will add $9 million to the project's cost. Luckily for Tennessee taxpayers this is all coming from donations. (Knoxville News-Sentinel, via Rocky Top Talk) Jeremiah Masoli, the untold story. Someone needs to tell it to Ole Miss so they know what they might be getting into. (Sports Illustrated) Speaking of Ole Miss. The 1959 Ole Miss team has been declared the number one "College Football Team of the Past 100 Years." Yeah, I'm not buying it either. (Football Outsiders, via Dr. Saturday) On the other hand, this one I can believe. The 1986 Miami Hurricanes were picked number one on Sports Illustrated's  list of  the "25 Most Hated Teams of All Time." The 1990 'Canes make the list as well at no. 11. Duke's 1991-92 NCAA Championship team made it at no. 12. (Sports Illustrated, via Dr. Saturday) The new Louisville Football Helmet: All they really did was alter the stripes. Big deal. (Card Chronicle) Death Valley Schadenfreude, penultimate edition. Shakin' the Southland's "The Worst of the 2000's" countdown of Clemson's worst losses of the past decade hits #2 and the Tigers losing to "the other white meat" Wake Forest in 2003. Thier words, not mine. (Shakin' the Southland) Fake Robbie Caldwell on Twitter? Fake Robbie Caldwell on Twitter.  Quick, someone tell Not Jay Cutler.

Your Moment of Tebowness: The moment you've been waiting for...Tebow: Boxers or briefs?

Your Moment of Tebowness: The moment you've been waiting for...Tebow: Boxers or briefs?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 29, 2010

Here's a little promo Tim Tebow did in conjunction with his new gig as Jockey spokesman. At the end he answers the question millions of female Gator fans (and maybe a male fan or two) have always wanted to know. His Tebowness wears briefs. The underwear buying habits of the state of Florida just shifted radically.

What Passes for Life: Chewbacca on a giant squirrel fighting Nazis?

What Passes for Life: Chewbacca on a giant squirrel fighting Nazis?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 29, 2010

Chewbacca on a giant squirrel fighting Nazis.If this was Chewie  fighting those two anamorphic Gators in the swamp instead of Nazis, then I would be in Geek Heaven right now. (via The Official Star Wars Blog)

What Passes for Life: T.O., Chad (Johnson), LeBron, and the X-Men

What Passes for Life: T.O., Chad (Johnson), LeBron, and the X-Men

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 28, 2010

Jay Mariotti calls Terrell Owens and Chad (JOHNSON) on the Bengals a "Match Made in Hell." Shut up, Jay. (Fanhouse)   The story about LeBron James ESPN didn't want you to read. Too bad Deadspin found it. (Deadspin) Jude Terror likes X-Men Forever, so you should too. The man who keeps the Internet (or at least The Outhouse) from falling apart explains his love for X-Men Forever, Chris Claremont's revisiting of the team of mutants he made famous where he left off in 1991. Jude's right about it being good. In fact, it might be the one of best comic books out right now. (The Outhouse)

More reasons to hate the Florida Marlins: Marlins pitch fit about Brian Wilson's orange footwear

More reasons to hate the Florida Marlins: Marlins pitch fit about Brian Wilson's orange footwear

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 28, 2010

The Florida Marlins have gotten their boxers in a bunch about San Francisco Giants' relief pitcher Brian Wilson and his pair of orange shoes. Florida manager Edwin Rodriguez considered the orange cleats too much of a distraction on the mound for his hitters and complained to the umpires about them. "A little bit too bright, too flashy," he said. Seriously, the Marlins are in next to last place at the moment in the National League East, they play in a horrible stadium with a broken scoreboard that owner Jeffery Loria is too much of a cheapskate to fix. There was that hideous Scott Staph Stapp song. And despite two World Series in the past fifteen years, the Marlins are the laughing stock of baseball. And the Fish are worried about a relief pitcher's shoes? Sheesh! Where the heck is Jay-Z where you need him? Oh, here he is. The Marlins are supposed to be distracted by orange shoes? They're in Florida, dangit! You mean to say there isn't a single pair of orange sneakers in Florida? With orange being the color used by not only the Gators, but the Miami Hurricanes as well? And oh yeah, don't forget the Dolphins, either. Bothered by orange sneakers? Oh. Child. Please. If the Marlins are  bothered by a pair of shoes, maybe they need to go and grow a pair of something else. Marlins? Ha! They're more like the Chicken of the Sea. (via Big League Stew)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew:Jeremiah Masoli, a double helping of Vols' schadenfreude, Mark Richt

Covering Dixie Like Mildew:Jeremiah Masoli, a double helping of Vols' schadenfreude, Mark Richt

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 28, 2010

Jeremiah Masoli is still not an Old Miss Rebel. But something should be resolved involving the disgraced former Oregon quarterback by the weekend. (The Clarion-Ledger) Present-day Tennessee schadenfreude. Bryce Brown finally tells Derek Dooley that he won't be playing football with the Vols this fall...via text message. Classy, just classy. (Rocky Top Talk) Historic Tennessee schadenfreude: The final chapter. It's the end of the line for Tennessee's train of pain as "20 Losses in 20 Years" ends with the Number one Vols' defeat of the past two decades: The 2001 SEC Championship and a crushing loss to LSU. (Rocky Top Talk) Lazy journalism? A blogger calls the frequent "Mark Richt on the Hot Seat at Georgia" talk "lazy journalism." (Lucid Idiocy) Can Virginia Tech win the BCS Championship in 2010? Yes, they can. (Gobbler Country) On the other hand...No, they can't. (Gobbler Country) Same Stadium, different name. The Georgia-Florida game will be played at EverBank Field this season. That's the new name of Jacksonville Municipal Stadium. (Big Cat Company) Things worse than Vanderbilt football. It's bad when you have to go to North Korea to find something worse than the Commodore's football program. But if you are, then the  The Ryugyong Hotel is the place to go. (Anchor of Gold)

Phil Finebaum compares Robbie Caldwell to Larry the Cable Guy

Phil Finebaum compares Robbie Caldwell to Larry the Cable Guy

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 28, 2010

New Vanderbilt head football coach Robbie Caldwell stole the show at SEC Media Days last week. His down-home manner and casual reminiscences  of working on a turkey farm came as a relief from an event that could have seriously gotten bogged down in Agentgate. Everybody in the media seemed to enjoy the refreshing Southerness of the new Commodores' coach. Everybody that is except  Paul Finebaum. Finebaum, the South's greatest contributor of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gasses, used his July 27 column to rake Caldwell and Vanderbilt over the coals for not being an SEC powerhouse. Going as far to suggest that Vandy should be kicked out of the SEC. A few of the little gems from Finebaum's column: "One can understand the media lapping it up. If you had to listen to three days of sleep-inducing, mind-numbing, coach-speak from the likes of Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Bob Petrino, Gene Chizik and Les Miles, you would probably find Caldwell's monologue about "turkey insemination" downright side-splitting, too. However, if I wanted to see Jerry Clower, I'd pop in an old DVD of "Hee-Haw" and sit back on the couch with a bottle of RC Cola and a Moon Pie. That's about what I got out of Caldwell's deep fried act last week. And besides, if you're the Vanderbilt head coach, shouldn't you at least try to give off the appearance you could have been admitted to the school as a student?" Using this philosophy, Mark Richt should hang out  at the 40 Watt Club, and Urban Meyer should run around wearing jean shorts. Besides, the odds of there being zero rednecks enrolled at Vanderbilt is about the same as there being zero alcoholics enrolled at Georgia. "Considering this is the best football conference in America, and considering Vanderbilt administrators were able to get their grubby paws on a $20 million payout recently in the league revenue sharing plan, the time has come for everyone else to say enough. Even Kentucky, a basketball school, makes an honest effort in football. Why can't Vandy?" Vanderbilt actually expects its athletes to go to class, maybe?  (Okay, that is more of a shot at Calipari than Joker Phillips.) "Oh, you say, Vanderbilt went to a bowl game in 2008 for the first time in 26 years. What good did it do them? They didn't even win a conference game the next year and now they have Larry the Cable guy coaching."  Well, Jeff Foxworthy was busy taping Are You Smarter Than  A Fifth Grader?   "At least Vandy officials could have been smart about this season. Instead of giving the job to Caldwell, they could have had tryouts like "American Idol" and let a different contestant coach each week. After the season, the person who did the best job would get the job for the 2011 season. Nothing draws a crowd these days like a good, cheesy, low-rent reality show." A reality show-style competition to pick the head coach? Interesting idea you've got there Phil...Waitaminute! That was my idea to find a new defensive coordinator for Georgia, dangit! I demand restitution! Finebaum goes on to suggest that Vanderbilt could have gotten "Mike Leach or a Phil Fulmer to coach this season." Give me a break. Leach is too busy suing Texas Tech right now. And as for Fulmer, well I'm just shocked someone in Alabama even suggested Fulmer be allowed to coach again, much less in the SEC. In the end, who really cares? Vanderbilt is more a basketball school than a football school, so just live with it, Paul. Every conference has at least one school like that. Heck, the Big East is pretty much filled with them! So what if the football's not great? Nobody's perfect. And who knows, maybe Robbie the Cable Guy Caldwell can actually get things moving in the right direction football-wise. (via al.com)

New Pac-10 logo is a little underwhelming.

New Pac-10 logo is a little underwhelming.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 27, 2010

This is the new logo for the Pac-10. Sadly it's a little underwhelming. The reasons: The font. The way the letters contour inside the shield are a little too jarring and too angular than they need to be. That is especially true for the "P," which looks a little uneven. Plus the "C" looks a little too much like a "G." Altogether, "PAC" doesn't quite mesh well with the mesh of the shield. The design. It's way too busy. The logo is supposed to depict  "a mountain and wave, which symbolize not only the Pac-10's geographic footprint but also its strength."The mountain is easy to see. But as for the ocean? It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell if that's wave or if it's the crescent of the moon or a billiard ball.  The coloring.  The shield isn't quite monochromatic, but it comes close.  Do black and blue really represent the Pacific? It might look better if printed in black-and-white, but those days seem to be slowly creeping into the past. A little extra color would have helped. When you think of the Pacific, ine the thinks you think of is the golden sunlight. Where is that in this design? In all, this new logo seems to be a little bit of a misstep. There's too much going on in the design. But in the end, it doesn't say much. (via Sports Illustrated)

Darrelle Revis likes to stroke his flamingo

Darrelle Revis likes to stroke his flamingo

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 27, 2010

Darrelle Revis likes to stroke his flamingo. He especially likes to stroke his flamingo while pimping shoes for Nike. This is for a Dick's Sporting Goods Commercial. I guess stroking your flamingo there is as good of a place as any. 

What Passes for Life: Lane Kiffin, New York Yankees, and yet more Joshua Jackson

What Passes for Life: Lane Kiffin, New York Yankees, and yet more Joshua Jackson

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 27, 2010

Lane Kiffin's days at USC are numbered. Because Jay Mariotti said so. (Fanhouse) "The best films of the '00s." Any list that picks The Two Towers over the other two parts of  The Lord of the Rings does at least have some credit. The list of 50 films is filled with way too many foreign and indie films, though. And outside of a couple of Pixar films, it lacks lighter-fare box office hits like Remember the Titans. Worse, none of the Bourne Trilogy movies are on the list. Haters. (The AV Club) Put up or shut up time for Anderson Silva?  Put up or shut up time for Anderson Silva. (Yahoo! Sports) Should the Yankees trade Joba Chamberlain? If the Yanks can scam some bottom-feeder team into a less than fair trade, then yes. (Big League Stew) Terence Moore complains about the NBA's problem with "integrity." Shut up, Terence. (Fanhouse) VH-1 has yet another Biggest Loser knockoff. As if Celebrity Fit Club wasn't enough, VH-1 has come up with Money Hungry, where ten teams overweight people put up 10,000 of their own money for a chance to win $100,000 by losing weight. Maybe there's still hope for my pitch for fat athletes fighting for a slot on the U.S. Olympic Team. I call it The Biggest Luger. (Warming Glow) Oh, now it makes sense! Remember yesterday's story about Joshua Jackson's "Pacey-Con"? Turns out it was part of a Funny or Die short film. (Entertainment Weekly)

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