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What Passes for Life: Tequila Sunrise edition

What Passes for Life: Tequila Sunrise edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 6, 2010

(Note: I was tempted to use an image of Tia Tequila. But I've had enough problems with viruses on the computer in the past twelve months.)Blogger suggests that Roethlisberger should be sent to boot camp. To slightly paraphrase my favorite Clint Eastwood quote from Heartbreak Ridge: "The Marines are looking for a few good men. Unfourtinately, Big Ben ain't it." (MoonDogSports.com)Iowa only made $50,000 off of its Orange Bowl championship. Ah, the joys of creative accounting. (Black Heart Gold Pants)It's Complicated, Part Deux. Boston Red Sox pay tribute to prodigal son Nomar Garciaparra. Blog declares it "Revisionist History Night". (USA Today, Boston Dirt Dogs)Mets record for the month of April, complete with uniforms. Created by Gene, the anal-retentive Mets fan. (Mets Police)

Shirts Without Random Triangles:  It's always a dummy in Philadelphia edition

Shirts Without Random Triangles: It's always a dummy in Philadelphia edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 6, 2010

Yep, they're already selling t-shirts about the tasings at Citizen's Bank Ballpark in Philadelphia, as this badly filmed YouTube clip can attest. (Sombrero not included)In case you didn't get it the first dozen times around, the shirt apparently says "I got drunk. I got high. I got tasered. Another night at the ballpark." Ain't capitalism grand?(via Deadspin, Busted Coverage)

Yankees top most overrated list.

Yankees top most overrated list.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 6, 2010

ESPN the Magazine took a poll of MLB players during spring training. Among other questions, players were asked who the most overrated of their brethren were. The results landed three New York Yankees in the top three. Joba Chamberlain, Alex Rodriguez, and Nick Swisher made up the overrated trifecta.A*Rod and Swisher making the list isn't shocking. Chamberlain is another matter. If only because of the idea he was actually rated in the first place.(via New York Post)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: News around the SEC and ACC

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: News around the SEC and ACC

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 6, 2010

ACC predictions: Who does "Mr. College Football" Tony Barnhart see coming out on top of the ACC this year? Florida State in the Atlantic Division, and a surprise pick of North Carolina in the Costal Division. (Mr. College Foolball)Alabama will try to pass the 800 victory mark in 2010...again. They've done it before, but the NCAA keeps taking away wins due to those pesky recruiting violations. (3rd Saturday in Blogtober)Doing less with more. Loser With Socks asks readers "Who does less with more?" Kentucky's John Calipari, UGA's Mark Richt, or Alabama media gadfly Phil Finebaum? Not surprisingly, Mark Richt is winning this one easily. (Loser With Socks)Want to help with relief efforts in Nashville? Here's how. (via EDSBS)

Wanted: Opponent for Alabama in 2012

Wanted: Opponent for Alabama in 2012

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 6, 2010

What will Alabama do now that Georgia Tech is off the radar in 2012? Probably still come to Atlanta and play somebody else. Or maybe go to Dallas. Nick Saban said that Alabama is looking for a neutral-site game to start off the 2012 season with, and are looking towards ESPN and Chick-fil-A to helping them secure an opponent.As for who might the opponent be, it looks like either playing Texas Tech in Dallas or playing Miami in Atlanta are both possible. Though there are reported to be at least five potential opponents in each city.(via EDSBS, al.com)

"Sexy" Lane Kiffin makes it to Esquire's Sweet Sixteen

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 6, 2010

Round Two in Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament is over. And the madness that is Lane Kiffin has reached the checkered flag in his showdown with Danica Patrick. (Gee, Danica Patrick not coming in first, what a shock)Now comes Round Three and the Sweet Sixteen matchup against US Women's' Soccer team member Heather Mitts. (Unless Esquire does something screwy with the brackets) Mitts defeated MMA star Gina Carino. Name recognition (and a loyal voting pool who really wants to show their "love" for "Sexy" Lane) should help Kiffin out in this matchup. Then again, the lack of a Y chromosome will probably be an advantage for Mitts.In sadder news, Matthew Stafford's alledged girlfriend has been knocked out of the tournament by ice dancer Tanith Belbin. Belbin will next face off against former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler, who soundly defeated the alleged "Panamanian Cricket Team."Also gone from the tournament of note to sports fans is Giselle Bundchen. Mrs. Tom Brady was taken out by Adrianna Lima in a rather sound trumping. Lima's matchup with Candice Swanepoel should be a highlight of the tournament, since Swanepoel defeated number one seed Beyoncé in a resounding manner.And for the crew over at The Outhouse: Olivia Munn totally dominated Heidi Montag. The looming Sweet Sixteen confrontation between Munn and Evangeline Lilly should be true geek heaven.(via Esquire)

WAR LAMENESS!!! Auburn throws a flashmob too

WAR LAMENESS!!! Auburn throws a flashmob too

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

And from the "Everybody's doing it so why can't we?" Dept.: Auburn students held their own flashmob event last night at the Ralph Brown Draughon Library. Unlike the similar events at Ohio State and Ole Miss, this one was less planned out and more like...well, a mob.And if you don't have ten minutes to spare.This one had all the subtly of a train wreck. Kind of what you would expect from Auburn.

For sale: Chase Utley's skivvies. Slightly used.

For sale: Chase Utley's skivvies. Slightly used.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

Time for the "ewwwwww!" story of the day. Deadspin reports that a signed pair of Chase Utley's game-worn underwear from the 2008 World Series is up for sale on Craigslist. No word on if they're boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs. The disturbing news, however, it that they are unwashed.If you're interested in this item, you may have to compete with this "lucky" woman's boyfriend for the right to buy it.(via Deadspin)

Dawgageddon: Look out, Louisville, Zach Mettenberger may be coming to town

Dawgageddon: Look out, Louisville, Zach Mettenberger may be coming to town

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

Zach Mettenberger has pled guilty to misdemeanor sexual battery, sentenced to twelve months probation and banned from entering the Valdosta city limits for a year. And oh yeah, his was kicked off the UGA football team too. So what is he going to do with the rest of his life? Play football somewhere else it looks like.The disgraced former Georgia QB is reportedly planning upon paying a visit to Louisville later this month. If he were to transfer, he would have to sit out a year due to those pesky NCAA rules. He could start playing in 2011. Which is just in time for a scheduled Louisville matchup against UGA in Athens. Gee, what are the chances Mettenberger knows about that?(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

What Passes for Life: Cinco de Mayo edition

What Passes for Life: Cinco de Mayo edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

- The Future Pride of Happy Valley: Steve Consalvi, the teenager tased after running onto the field at the Phillies game Monday night, is described by his father "a real good student, heading to Penn State." JoePa must be thrilled at this news. (Black Shoe Diaries)- Kobe Bryant's embarrassing photo shoot has become a Photoshopper's dream. (Deadspin)- Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, V for Vendetta) has been cast as the Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger. (The Outhouse)- Apparently nobody at ESPN has ever heard of Nick Cannon. (The Outhouse. Thanks to fieldy snuts for pointing this out.)- UFC 116 to feature Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin. (Bloody Elbow)- Song That Makes Me Want to Throw Drew Magary Through a Brick Wall:"The Fear in Your Eyes," by Gwen Stacy. You've gotta hand it to a band who named themselves after Spider-Man's deceased girlfriend (the one killed by Green Goblin in the comics).

Ohio State + Glee=Unspontaneous act of embarrassment.

Ohio State + Glee=Unspontaneous act of embarrassment.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

Just when you thought the world was safe from unspontaneous breakouts of dancing after the Ole Miss "Bollywood" incident, a bunch of goobers at Ohio State have to turn around and prove you wrong.Don't these students have something better to do? Like study for finals or something? At least the Ole Miss students tried to make it look better that their little dance number was a little more of an act of spontaneous act, rather than on ornate number practiced for hours. And they used something other than the Glee soundtrack, for cryin' out loud. Here's the rule on "Don't Stop Belivin'": Get Journey of get out!(via EDSBS)

It's Always a Dummy in Philadelphia, Part Deux

It's Always a Dummy in Philadelphia, Part Deux

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

Another goober was arrested for running onto the field at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia Tuesday night. Sadly, this one wasn't tased like the the teenaged dweeb was. Security probably thought the clown's blubber would insulate him from the shock.Seriously though, when is MLB going to start requiring beefed up security at ball parks so this doesn't happen again? (via Big League Stew)

Dawgageddon: Mark Richt on the hot seat?

Dawgageddon: Mark Richt on the hot seat?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

Mark Richt on the "hot seat" rumors seem to be showing up more often these days. Heck, this little feature used to be called the "Mark Richt Hubris Watch," for crying out loud. Though logic finally prevailed and "Dawgageddon" became a more reasonable (and funner) title.That doesn't stop stories questioning Richt's future elsewhere. Such as this little gem from the Montgomery Advertiser.Richt is an incredible man and Christian example. But you start to wonder how much patience fans and administration will have this season if losses, personnel problems, player defections, and off-the-field incidents continue to dominate the news.Heading into this season, there's no coach in SEC on a hotter seat than Richt.The "off-the-field incidents" mentioned apparently being the Zach Mettenberger, debacle. Which wasn't even the most notorious example of a quarterback acting like a doofus in the state of Georgia this year (that Big Ben dude). Even with that and other incidents involving UGA players, the program is barely in consideration for the infamous EDSBS "Fulmer Cup." And it pales in comparison to Oregon's issues with their Insane Clown Posse.Matt Hinton over at Dr. Saturday has a more sober look at Richt's situation. he compares the situation with those of Tommy Tuberville and Phillip Fulmer, who were let go in 2008 with 5-7 records. So far, Richt hasn't had one of those. Also, Richt doesn't have the "doesn't play well with others" issues like Tuberville, or the ability to make enemies like Fulmer.A very disastrous season may cause Richt some issues. But otherwise his job is probably secure for another year or two. It would probably that a series of 7-5 or 6-6 reasons to really make things warm behind Richt's desk.(via Leather Helmet Blog, Montgomery Advertiser, Dr. Saturday)

Sports Illustrated on Ben Roethlisberger: The Hangover

Sports Illustrated on Ben Roethlisberger: The Hangover

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 4, 2010

What does Big Ben dream ofWhen he takes a little Big Ben snooze?Does he dream of how he screwed upGoing to Milledgeville for a few brews.Don't you worry your little scruffy headYou're suspended for six games, you may only be out four instead.Then you'll return to the Gold and BlackAnd your teammates will pretend they're glad you're back.Ben, Ben, Oh Ben , Benji, Benji, Ben, Ben.But if you're caught again with your pants downThen you're **** out of luck.(Apologies to Ed Helms)(via Deadspin)

¡Bueno Cinco de Mayo!

¡Bueno Cinco de Mayo!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 5, 2010

¡Bueno Cinco de Mayo! To all of SWRT's readers. Here's a little musical treat for you to celebrate the day with.Nothing says Cinco de Mayo like a Celtic punk rock band.

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