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Now trending on Twitter: #fakederbyhorses

Now trending on Twitter: #fakederbyhorses

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 26, 2010

It must be getting close to the Kentucky Derby and the Triple Crown, because on the of the funniest memes right now on Twitter involves horses. A nice little trending topic called #fakederbyhorses has popped up, which includes a ton of names that won't be popping up in the Run for the Roses anytime soon, but probably should.The obligatory jokes about glue are there. As are the obvious entries of "Sarah Jessica Parker" and "Carrie Bradshaw." But between those there are a few good ones, such as "Saved By the Belmont," "Haulin' Oats," "John and Kate Plus Eight Belles," and "BearSharkTapus." And yes, "Hockeybear" has been taken too. But don't let that stop you from trying to come up with your own. It has to be more original than "Radiohead," for crying out loud.

Dawgageddon: Logan Gray leaving?

Dawgageddon: Logan Gray leaving?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 26, 2010

Zach Klein of WSBtv is reporting that Logan Gray is meeting with Georgia coaches on his decision to transfer to another school. This after Aaron Murray was named starting quarterback for the Bulldogs last week This was also reported on the radio earlier today by Chuck Oliver of 680 The Fan on the Chuck and Chernoff program.If true, this puts the Bulldogs in a bind. Gray's departure means that plans to redshirt incoming freshman QB Hutson Mason would pretty much be out the window, as the team currently has no other QB to back up Murray. And it also comes on the heels of last weeks dismissal of Zach Mettenberger. This should be creating a lot of headaches for Mark Richt and UGA QB coach Mike Bobo.(via WSBtv, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Watch Chipper Jones kill Bambi on national television

Watch Chipper Jones kill Bambi on national television

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 25, 2010

It looks like Chipper Jones has found a way to share his love of hunting with America. Jones, along with Arizona Diamondbacks first baseman Adam LaRoche, and other lesser known (and less successful) baseball players, will be featured in the upcoming hunting series Buck Commander: Protected by Under-Armour. It will begin sometime in July on the Outdoor Channel. It's an outgrowth of Duck Commander, the group of hunters known for the notorious beards this side of ZZ Top.The show will feature Jones and co. doing the usual things seen on hunting shows. Namely hunting trophy bucks and some on the road hi jinks. Of course most hunting shows don't have a Major League star like Chipper Jones involved on a regular basis. There's a preview of the show here.Buck Commander has already produced a line of products, including a couple of DVD's, s a line of clothing and scent control products ('cause glowing ain't the only thing Rudolph's nose does.) With Under Armour as a sponsor somebody ought to be yelling "We must protect this treestand!" Though it's sort of doubtful that will happen. It doubtful PeTA is going to be thrilled about this either.

A Little Fright Music

A Little Fright Music

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 25, 2010

Here's the soundtrack for tonight's Freudian nightmares.

New Michigan State unis compared to

New Michigan State unis compared to "New Coke"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 24, 2010

When it comes to college sports, change can be looked at with as something that's pretty much unwanted, unless the team you support is losing. Then it's pretty centers around throwing out whoever gets the blame for the bad run of fortune. Things less tangible for a winning program, such as time-honored school traditions, mascots, team colors, and team uniforms, on the other hand, can cause general outrage on campus and throughout the internet.When Michigan State and Nike got together in an attempt to "rebrand" the Spartans' athletic program earlier this year things got off on the wrong foot. An image of a slightly altered Spartans' logo leaked out was was met with much disdain. The new icon was quickly dropped before it was to be officially introduced.Now the school has introduced new uniforms for its twenty-five athletic teams, all designed by Nike. The school wanted to "rebrand" the uniforms to make them more "unified" when it came to things like lettering and what shade of green each team used.How is the Spartans' fan base taking the change? Not too well. The blog The Only Colors ran with a headline "Congratulations, Everyone: Those $9.99 Jerseys You Bought at Steve and Barry's 5 Years Ago Now Look More Authentic Than You Ever Could Have Imagined." Ouch.The readers were slightly less impressed. One commenter said they hoped the unis would turn out to be like New Coke, described at "an attempt to get a fan base to accept a little bit of movement by taking a wildly circuitous route." Others bemoaned the loss of the "State" on basketball jerseys and the "script" Michigan State lettering on hockey jerseys.To be honest the new football unis are a little dull. They do seem to fall on the generic side, which is probably something not a company looks for in branding. There's nothing dynamic that really identifies the jerseys as Michigan State except for the lettering. Not in the way of something like an Miami or a Florida State jersey does. Green and white can be tricky, so the design element is pivotal. Sadly, these jerseys look too under-designed.The pants are the same way. The fronts are unimpressive, with all the details being on the back. There needed to be some more green showing on the front to where it didn't look so plain.For a Nike product, these unis are pretty unimpressive. Compared to what the company puts into Oregon's uniforms, this is a joke. Maybe the company and the school were spooked by the reaction to the new logo. But these new unis don't really seem to "rebrand" the way Michigan State wanted.(via The Dagger, Yahoo! News, The Only Colors)

"Sexy" Lane Kiffin fighting for his life. Or at least his title

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 24, 2010

Things were going so smoothly for Lane Kiffin in the Esquire "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament, then things hit a speed bump. Kiffin is slightly behind second round opponent Danica Patrick at the moment. This isn't good for Lane. It also isn't good for my dream match-up in the finals of Kiffin and Olivia Munn either. (Munn is still whipping The Hills' Heidi Montag, by the way 99%-1%)Kiffin is lagging behind Patrick, with Danica holding a slight 50.3%-49.7% advantage. It's an small percentage to overcome. So help Kiffin out by voting now. While you're at it, give a little love to Matthew Stafford's girlfriend too. She's losing to hot ice dancer Tanith Belbin too.(via Esquire)

Happy Birthday Chipper Jones

Happy Birthday Chipper Jones

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 24, 2010

Happy 38th birthday to Atlanta Braves' third baseman and hunting enthuiast Chipper Jones. Sadly, Chipper's birthday hasn't gone so well today. He was taken out of today's game against the New York Mets in the third inning with a sore right hit. The Braves went on to lose the game to the Mets in 3-1.As you can tell from the picture to the left, Chipper is an avid hunter. Many a deer have fallen to Chipper on his 10,000 acre ranch in Texas. Along with the occasional illegal alien. But that was due to dehydration, not at the hands of a mighty hunter like Chipper.It would be nice if the Braves' let him wear the eyeblack like he is shown here. Maybe Bryce Harper will start the trend off if and when he makes it to the Big Leagues. And maybe the Braves should honor Chipper by getting some Realtree camo jerseys for an alternate uniform. It would be a perfect tribute. And trust me, those hunting camo jerseys would fly off the racks.(via Walkoff Walk, Yahoo! Sports, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Is ESPN's FIFA  World Cup commercial anti-American?

Is ESPN's FIFA World Cup commercial anti-American?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 23, 2010

The latest ESPN commercial promoting the 2010 FIFA World Cup is titled "United." It features Bono in a rambling monologue slightly resembling the style of his Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction speech of Bob Marley. It's set to the music of U2's "Magnificent," and clips representing sundry global issues.As a whole it comes off a being a little anti-American. Images in the commercial include Muslims praying, a foreclosed house, polar bears floating away on sheets of ice, clips of impovrished areas around the world, and an American flag pin in a bad labeled "Made in China," The clip of an American flag that's ripped and worn at one end doesn't help things either.The commercial does get around to actually showing clips of actual games of soccer being player. But they are too brief and fleeting. There doesn't to seem to be any appearances of the US men's soccer team in the clip. One would think that in trying to get a (mostly) American audience to tune in it would help to show the home team off home team a little bit.The idea of the clip is that the world comes together once every four years united with one purpose. That being to compete for the World Cup. Even that concept is flawed, since competing for the Cup has as much to do with the national pride of each competing nation as it does celebrating some illusionary idea of global unity.The irony in this is that this commercial is trying to promote the World Cup to an American audience. One that has been slow to warm up to soccer a major sport despite years "soccer moms" driving their kids to soccer practice. The majority of the sports media still treats soccer on a level somewhere between a red-headed stepchild and an idiot brother-in-law.So will a commercial that sort of comes off as slighting America help promote the FIFA World Cup to Americans? It certainly doesn't help things. ESPN should be trying to promote the US Soccer team a little more, in conjunction with the World Cup in general. A one-two punch would have served promoting the Cup on both a national and a international level. ESPN only doing the latter might backfire in the end.

The NFL Draft can be a drag.

The NFL Draft can be a drag.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 23, 2010

The end of he first round of the NFL Draft usually means the end of most of the fun. Though this year is an exception, watching Jimmy Clausen tumble while Mel Kiper Jr's hair explodes over the fact Tim Tebow went in the first round ahead of him.Of course, the new three-day format of the Draft also means there's a lot of down time between rounds. What to do with all that time to fill?Well there's always the ever-productive "Let's take players in the Draft and give them drag queen names!" game. So SWRT went to Midsumma Drag Queen Name Generator and popped a few notable names in.Sam Bradford - "Paige Turner"Gerald McCoy - "Maya Thickinthighya"Tim Tebow - "Lurleen Cuisine"Ndamukong Suh - Fool! Suh don't need a drag queen name! But... if he did, he'd be "Sue Nahmi"Colt McCoy - "Madam Demanda Pash"C.J. Spiller - "Bertha Vanation"Demaryius Thomas - "Sal Monella"Jimmy Clausen - "Sharon Needles"Eric Berry - "Virginia Hamm"Dez Bryant - "Fifi Wang"Bryan Bulaga - "Mari Wanna"And to complete his humiliation:Mel Kiper Jr. - "Tanya Hide"

Tim Tebow's a Bronco

Tim Tebow's a Bronco

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 22, 2010

The 2010 NFL Draft's most intriguing question was answered when the Denver Broncos drafted Tim Tebow with the 25th pick of the first round. Ahead of the still undrafted Jimmy Clausen. Which probably means Denver head coach Josh McDaniels is probably off Mel Kiper Jr's Christmas card list.If anything, this pick cements McDaniels's status as the NFL's resident insane genius. Or at least the insane part. Alienating Jay Cutler. Trading him for Kyle Orton. Repeating the alienation cycle with Brandon Marshal. Trading Peyton Hills to Cleveland for Brady Quinn. Trading Marshal to the Miami Dolphins for second round draft picks in this year and next year's draft. Now drafting Tim Tebow. Doctor Doom never came up with schemes as insane as this. Also of note: none of Doctor Doom's schemes succeeded, either.How Tebow's relationship with McDaniels will turn out is anybody's guess. But it's doubtful it will be the kind of almost father-son relationship Tebow had with Urban Meyer. That and it won't be as creepy, either (I hope).(Interesting fact, by the way: Colorado is headquarters of Focus on the Family, the Christian organization responsible for the infamous Suber Bowl ad featuring Tim Tebow and his mother. It's probably a good thing that I'm not a conspiracy spank. Otherwise I'd be trying to chalk this up as something more than just coincidence.)Of course Tebow will be competing for the starting quarterback job with Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn. It will be interesting to see how Tebow and Quinn interact. Quinn of course being the Jimmy Clausen of 2007. Except that Quinn got drafted in the first round. (Take that, Kiper!)

Sing along with the Big Ten

Sing along with the Big Ten

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 22, 2010

The Iowa sports blog Black Heart Gold Pants decided to post a YouTube clip of a tailgate at Penn State where the tailgaters were jamming out to...Miley Cyrus?(Notice the rebel flag in the background? It's in honor of Joe Paterno. He fought for the South in the Civil War.)Sadly, it didn't take long before someone pointed out the shortcomings of Iowa Hawkeye fans' taste in music.If there's a "P'wning Hall of Fame," this needs to be in it. Seriously, it that Ricky Stanzi approved music?Sadly, both songs seem appropriate for the schools and their individual fanbases singing them. It does make the imagination wonder (or is it wander?) about what other recent (and possibly lame) hit songs of the past few years might be fitting for other Big 10 schools.Ohio State - "Tik Tok" Ke$haMichigan State - "Gives You Hell," All American RejectsMichigan - "Good Girls Go Bad," Cobra StarshipPurdue - "Poker Face," Lady GaGa (If only for Purdue Pete)Wisconsin - "Chicken Fried," Zac Brown BandNorthwestern-"Shake It," Metro StationAnd the Big Ten wonders why Notre Dame doesn't want to join.(via Black Heart Gold Pants)

NCAA expands tournament to 68 teams (not 96), sticks with CBS

NCAA expands tournament to 68 teams (not 96), sticks with CBS

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 22, 2010

America can breathe easier now. The nation has dodged two bullets that could have destroyed the institution of March Madness.The NCAA men's basketball tournament will not be expanding to 96 teams. On the other hand, it will be expanding to 68 teams, with all four regional sixteenth seeds now decided by play-in games.But that's not all, CBS will continue to air the tournament, in conjunction with TBS, TNT, and TruTv. Which means all the games in the tournament will be televised in its entirety. The deal is for the next fourteen years, which means Gus Johnson fans will be able to hear such classic phrases such as "Rise and fire!" for years to come. Plus, it keeps the tournament out of the greedy hands of ESPN. So it counts as a double win.(via Deadspin)

The Mountain West in the BCS? Not anytime soon.

The Mountain West in the BCS? Not anytime soon.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 22, 2010

BCS executive director Bill Hancock suggested that the Mountain West conference may be on its way to become the seventh conference with an automatic bid. "If they meet the threshold, they'll be the seventh," he said. The "threshold" probably meaning overcoming whatever roadblocks the BCS puts in the MWC's way. It wouldn't happen anytime soon, either, with Hancock implying it wouldn't happen before the 2012 season.(via SI.com, CBSSports.com)

Jimbo Fisher wants FSU to play Florida in...Atlanta?

Jimbo Fisher wants FSU to play Florida in...Atlanta?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 21, 2010

You have to admit that newly minted FSU head football coach Jimbo Fisher isn't willing to let tradition stand in the way of how things are done in Tallahassee. While in Atlanta for a Seminole Boosters club on Monday night, Fisher suggested he would be open to playing the traditional season-ending rivarly game between FSU and Florida to the start of the season.In fact, he took the idea to its most absurd conclusion. When asked by a fan during a q&a session if FSU had been invited to participate in the annual Chick-fil-A Kickoff in Atlanta, Fisher said the school had been contacted about the possibility of playing against Alabama in the Georgia Dome.That's when Fisher dropped this little head-exploding idea: Playing Florida in the Chick-fil-A Kickoff. In the Georgia Dome.FSU-Florida at the start of the season makes sense in as much as it would provide the loser a chance to recover from the loss (which is what Fisher is reported to have said). But playing it in the ATL just isn't going to happen, and Fisher even said as much. But you've got to hand it to him for taking thinking outside the box to its most absurd conclusion.(via Orlando Sentinel)

Big East not going down without a fight, brings on Paul Tagliabue

Big East not going down without a fight, brings on Paul Tagliabue

By Juan Cena in SWRT on April 21, 2010

All signs seen to point to a Big 10 raid on the Big East. But don't think the Big East is just going to go quietly into that dark night. The conference has announced that former NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue will be talking on a voluntary advisory role.Paul Tagliabue will have the title of Special Advisor, where he will "provide strategic advice on future television arrangements and other priority matters." "Other priority matters" probably involving the Big 10's eying of Rutgers, Syracuse, Pitt, and possibly even UConn.Bringing in Tagliabue as Special Advisor does seem to be a sign that the Big East is taking all the expansion talk seriously. Tagliabue is credited with making the NFL into the machine it is today. It certainly looks like the Big East is starting to cover its wagons for the fight of its life.(via Joe Schad's Twitter, WHAS)

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