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Your "Sexy" Lane Kiffin update

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 21, 2010

It does seem that Lane Kiffin is easily going to beat Natalie Grubbs in the first round of Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Madness tournament. So it might be time to start scouting out Kiffin's "Sexy" competition, starting the the Sports Bracket, where Lane and Natalie are located.(2)Tanith Belbin vs. (15)Daniela HantuchovaThe lovely ice dancer Belbin holds a slight 51%-49% lead over the beautiful Slovakian tennis player.(4) Serena Williams vs. (13) Gina CaranoSerena may be the queen on the tennis court, but MMA star Carano reigns supreme in this match-up 84%-16%(5) Ana Ivanovic vs. (12) Heather MittsThe soccer star is easily beating the tennis star 68%-32%(6) Lindsey Vonn & Julia Mancuso vs. (11) The "Panamanian Cricket Team"America's Olympians are getting beat by what may be the phoniest sports entity since the Swedish Bikini Team 69%-31%. Patriotism obviously means nothing to voters.(7) Matt Stafford's Girlfriend (Kelly Hall) vs. (10) Scott Podsednik's Wife (Lisa Dergan)America's love for football stretches wins out against America's Pastime 61%-39%(8) Erin Andrews vs. (9) Danica PatrickDanica is edging out Erin 52%-48% in what is obviously a hotly contested race.Should they both make it through Kiffin would face Danica Patrick in round two. Brace yourselves for an epic battle.(via Esquire)

Expect Tiger Woods to talk a lot, say little in ESPN interview

Expect Tiger Woods to talk a lot, say little in ESPN interview

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 21, 2010

The Associated Press is reporting that ESPN will air an interview with Tiger Woods tonight at 7:00 P.M. Eastern. Tom Rinaldi will reportedly be handling the interview for the World Wide Leader.No further details about the interview are available, but don't expect any salacious new information coming from Woods. This will probably be as sanitised for his protection as the Bob Costas interview with Mark McGwire was. You'll have to wait for the next batch of Woods' illicit text messages to pop up online for that.(via boston.com)

The other obvious Kansas joke...

The other obvious Kansas joke...

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 20, 2010

Yeah, I had to go there.

Kansas gives illustrative descripton of your brackets after today

Kansas gives illustrative descripton of your brackets after today

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 20, 2010

The band, that is. Not the basketball team.

The Gaels of St. Mary's ah, hear they are calling...

The Gaels of St. Mary's ah, hear they are calling...

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 20, 2010

It's like Christmas in March for St. Mary's fans!The Gaels of St. Mary'sAh. hear they are callingThe young loves, the true lovesTo the Sweet SixteenAnd so my belovedWhen Wildcats are fallingThe loves bells shall ring out, ring outFor you and me

Dragging Lane Kiffin's name through the mud again

Dragging Lane Kiffin's name through the mud again

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 19, 2010

It's the moment you've been waiting for: The (almost) daily update on how Lane Kiffin's doing in Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament. As of 4;40 PM EST, Kiffin still is beating first round opponent Natalie Grubbs by a commanding lead. He leads 58%-42%.It may be a little premature, but to celebrate Kiffin's almost certain victory, I decided it was about time our little Princess Lane needed a name worthy of such a title as "Sexiest Woman Alive." So what better way to find Lane a name than checking out some the internet's inevitable drag queen name generators? Oh, don't act like you're surprised they're out there. Anyhow, here's a sampling of what I came up with:Blogthings.com's Drag Queen Name Generator: Amanda Playwith.Rum & Monkey: Charlamaine Tension Midsumma Drag Name Genarator: Lois Carmen Denominator Of course he could always go with the obvious "Elaine Changer," "Helena Troy," "Lanie Kitten" or "Lanie Backstabber. "

Oregon AD runs away from the circus

Oregon AD runs away from the circus

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 19, 2010

As if things at Oregon weren't bad enough, the school is looking for a new athletic director. Mike Bellotti has left Oregon to become an college football analyst for ESPN. Belotti is not the latest rat to leave the sinking ship known as Oregon, but he's one of the few that haven't been thrown out.This included several members if Oregon's "Insane Clown Posse" football team, and men's basketball coach Ernie Kent, who was fired for poor performance.Where there are deeper reasons behind the resignation are uncertain, but Yahoo! Sports Adrian Wojonarowski tweeted that "Oregon's Mike Bellotti isn't resigning because Nike has World Wide Wes and Lynn Merritt running his basketball search. He wants to do TV." Which implied how much influence the Oregon based company has on the Oregon program.(via The Sporting Blog, Adrian Wojonaroski's Twitter)

Ryan Mallett reacts to

Ryan Mallett reacts to "scooter video"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 18, 2010

What did Ryan Mallett think of LSU Freek's video where music was added to a clip of Mallett making his way on the Arkansas Kansas with his injured foot resting on some sort of four-wheeled something-or-another? You know, this one?Well, when asked he seems amused by it. “You’ve got to take it with a grain of salt...There’s going to be people from other teams putting it on the Internet. A million people have sent it to me in my e-mail. I just laugh every time...It doesn’t get to me or anything.”That's nice, it still won't get Mallett back on the Ryan List, though.As for LSU Freek, he tweeted " First time ever a target of mine has confirmed he saw my potshot... Props to Mallett for having a sense of humor."(via Mr. SEC, Arkansas News, LSU Freek's Twitter)

Is Tom Brady pulling a Favre? He's not working out with the Pats

Is Tom Brady pulling a Favre? He's not working out with the Pats

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 18, 2010

Don't be alarmed, but Tom Brady still hasn't shown up for the Patriots' voluntary offseason workout program in Foxboro. He's still out in Los Angeles with wife Giselle Bundchen his two sons, and a new dog. Brady claims "that he still does the required training, just not always in Foxboro because his lifestyle has changed with a wife and two children."Like I said probably nothing to worry about, but it makes you wonder if this is how Brett Favre started in his lack of spending his offseason with the team ways.(via National Football Post, Boston Herald)

Dawgageddon:UGA clamps down on tailgating fun and carnage

Dawgageddon:UGA clamps down on tailgating fun and carnage

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 18, 2010

University of Georgia President EvilMichael Adams was not happy with the untidiness of some Georgia tailgaters in Athens last year. Well, more like a lot of tailgaters. The North Campus was pretty much trashed last year after several home games.Now UGA has come up with some new regulations to prevent future untidiness, along with a lot of fun. Reportedly banned from the North Campus next season are "tents, kegs, generators, televisions, amplified music, grills and cookers, tables longer than 4 feet and household furniture (folding chairs are OK)." Setting up for for tailgating will not be permitted "until four hours before kickoff."In addition "pull-behind items such as trailers and cookers" are banned from the campus entirely, along with "golf carts and ATVs."It could be worse. Dr. Evil Adams said that banning tailgating on the North Campus was brought up. “I think they hit a sensible, happy medium for now.”Happy being matter of perception.Got a problem with this? In that case Spencer Hall has a few words of wisdom:"It would be really, really nice to support someone getting furious about this, but cleaning up after yourself at a tailgate is basic football fan etiquette, and the people who share our fair state fail at doing that even along the roads of the place they consider home. (Their cars, however, are very clean.) It is a violation made worse by the beautiful campus being trashed in the process."Hard to argue with him there, even if he is an unrepentant Gator.(via Athens Banner-Herald, EDSBS)

Are the Oregon Ducks the new Insane Clown Posse?

Are the Oregon Ducks the new Insane Clown Posse?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 18, 2010

Someone apparently has had enough of the shenanigans of some players of the Oregon Ducks' football team. A billboard in Eugene, Oregon was painted with images of eight current and former Oregon players who have been involved in incidents ranging from the embarrassing to the criminal. The players were painted with clown makeup on their faces, symbolizing how their actions have made the University of Oregon a look like laughing stock to the nation.The players on the billboard are Jeremiah Masoli (recently pleaded guilty to a second-degree burglary charge. Suspended for 2010 season, ), LaMichael James (pleaded guilty to "a misdemeanor harassment charge stemming from an altercation with his former girlfriend." Suspended for first game of 2010 season), Kiko Alonso (DUII. Suspended for 2010 season), Rob Beard ("pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of physical harassment." Suspended for 2010 season opener.), Garrett Embry (involved in the burglary with Masoi. No longer on the team.), Jamere Holland (dismissed from team for violating team rules after an incident with his Faebook account), Matt Simms ("pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of harassment" involving a fight with fellow kicker Mike Bowlin. Dismissed from team), and most notoriously LeGarrette Blount (punched Boise State player Byron Hout live on ESPN. Suspended part of last season.)Not pictured is Oregon coach Chip Kelly, who should probably be shown wearing the sad clown makeup of the late Emmet Kelly. Perfect for the coach of what is slowly becoming the NCAA's version of the Insane Clown Posse.(via Dr. Saturday, ESPN, KMTR.com, KVAL.com, KOINlocal6.com, The Register-Guard, OregonLive.com)

Lane Kiffin: Sexiest Woman Alive Update.

Lane Kiffin: Sexiest Woman Alive Update.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 17, 2010

As of the time this is being written (11:58 PM EST) Lane Kiffin is beating Natalie Gulbis in the first round of voting for Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Madness tournament 58% - 47%. It's beginning to look like Esquire doesn't think the joke's so funny anymore, though. They've replaced the image of Gulbis originally posted (at left) with one that's a little more flattering. Better vote now before the magazine comes to their senses.(via Esquire)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! The Notre Dame Leprechaun

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! The Notre Dame Leprechaun

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 17, 2010

Okay, I'll give you this, for a mascot costume, the Notre Dame Leprechaun looks pretty realistic. Most of the cosplayers on the sidelines who dress up as humans look pretty creepy. Like Purdue Pete, for example. The Leprechaun looks almost human, by comparison. Whoever sculpted that head should be given a medal or something. Most fiberglass mascot heads look huge and goofy, the Leprechaun's head on the other hand...Wait, what's that? That's an actual person in a leprechaun suit? That's not some fiberglass head on that body? How embarrassing! Prancing around in a furry outfit with a giant head is one thing. But roaming around without any sort of mask has to show some total lack of dignity. Or shame. Or Both.Oh well, Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Stay safe.

Tebow invited to NYC for NFL Draft

Tebow invited to NYC for NFL Draft

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 17, 2010

ESPN's Chris Mortensen via Twitter reports that Tim Tebow has been invited to New York City for the NFL Draft. Which either means a)There are teams actually impressed enough by Tebow to make him a first or second round pick, or b) The NFL has picked him to be this year's Brady Quinn, set up to watch helplessly as other players are drafted ahead of him. Either way, it seems the NFL wants Tebow at the Draft for dramatic effect.(via Chris Mortensen's Twitter)

Today's waste-of-time: What college football coach are you?

Today's waste-of-time: What college football coach are you?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 16, 2010

Have you ever wanted to know what kind of college football coach you would most be like? Have you ever wanted to waste two or three minutes of your life that you'll never get back? The Orlando Sentinel has come up with one of those little quizzes that asks "If you were a college football coach, who would you be? Needless to say, it's one of those little quizzes of the kind that pollutes Facebook with time-wasting "activities" that really tell you nothing about yourself. Take it at your own risk. You'll either end up a workaholic like Urban Meyer, or a clown like Lane Kiffin.(via The Orlando Sentinel)

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