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The Golddomedammerung: Domer stoner edition

The Golddomedammerung: Domer stoner edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

(The Golddomedammerung is a recurring feature of SWRT covering Notre Dame schadenfreude.)Attention Brian Kelly: It's 4:20. Do you know where your tight end is? If the tight end in question is Mike Ragone, he might be partaking of the product of a certain three-leafed green plant that isn't a shamrock. Ragone was arrested for possession of marijuana after being pulled over for driving over the speed limit by the Indiana State Patrol. A state trooper found two bags of pot in the purse of Ragone's female passenger. Ragone and the passenger were charged with misdemeanor possession due to the small amount of marijuana involved.No word yet as to what punishment from Notre Dame Ragone might get, but don't be surprised if Kelly makes him an ex-tight end.(via Dr. Saturday, The Journal-Gazette)

You've got chocolate on my bowl game!

You've got chocolate on my bowl game!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

It looks like it hasn't taken long for ESPN to find a new title sponsor for the Orange Bowl. Reports say Hershey's is close to signing a deal for the title-sponsorship of the once-proud bowl game in Miami. This comes after Fed-Ex balked at ESPN's demands to remain as sponsor.The game will reportedly be called the Reese's Orange Bowl. Which kind of makes sense, since Reese's is known for its orange packaging. It's also appropriate for Miami since Reese's Miniatures are as addictive as crack.(via Leather Helmet Blog, College Football Talk)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tuesday afternoon edition

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tuesday afternoon edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

The ACC must have a plan for expansion! Because Tony Barnhart says so. (Mr. College Football)Paul Finebaum says Les Miles and Mark Richt are doomed. Shut up, Paul. (al.com)No alternate unis for Florida this year. The SEC championship obviously made them as gun-shy to them as Georgia has. (EDSBS)Looking at the next ACC television deal. The best excuse to link to a Boston College blog in a Dixiecentric article like this. (BC Interruption)Erk Russell punked by College Hall of Fame. Somebody better tell those goobers where they'll be making their home in a few years. (Dawg Sports)"20 Losses in 20 Years," #8. Continuing Rocky Top Talk's look at the Vols' biggest defeats of the past two decades looks at the 2007 SEC Championship. (Rocky Top Talk)

Dawgageddon: Could  Mettenberger end up playing for Tennessee?

Dawgageddon: Could Mettenberger end up playing for Tennessee?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

(Dawgageddon is a recurring feature of SWRT covering UGA schadenfreude.)The latest twist in the Zach Mettenberger saga could have him becoming a recurring nightmare for Mark Richt and Georgia. According to an interview with the disgraced QB, Mettenberger mentions several schools that have shown interest in him, despite that nasty business in Valdosta."Mettenberger tells kelinjohnson.com that he’s had heavy interest and calls from other colleges and universities, including the University of Tennessee, USC, Texas A&M, UK, Troy State, Memphis, and Colorado, and that a number of schools have been calling to get the scoop on Mettenberger from Bulldog Offensive Coordinator, and former winning UGA quarterback Mike Bobo."After sitting out a year, Mettenberger could quite possibly have four chances to get his revenge on Georgia as a Volunteer. Tennessee, on the other hand, could once again find a way to thumb its nose at Georgia, having already hired Derek Dooley (Vince Dooley's son) as coach. As if beating UGA on the gridiron wasn't bad enough.(via 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, KelinJohnson.com)

What Passes for Life: Midnight Special Edition

What Passes for Life: Midnight Special Edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 10, 2010

Johnny Rivers truly deserves to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He recorded some of the best singles by an American artist in the Sixties, which included "Midnight Special,""Secret Agent Man," "Seventh Son," and the number one hit "Poor Side of Town." He also founded Soul City Records, and produced the 5th Dimension hits "Go Where You Wanna Go" and "Up-Up and Away."Orlando Magic sweep Atlanta Hawks. Hawks start summer vacation. Joe Johnson and coach Mike Woodson might be taking a permanent vacation from the Hawks. Johnson's a little more voluntary than Woodson's (Yahoo! Sports)Quick, call George Noory! The dirty commies at the Wolverine Liberation Front have uncovered a vast conspiracy that tears at the heart of Michigan. That or they're having a little too much fun with Photoshop. (Wolverine Liberation Army)Iron Man 3 already on the schedule for summer of 2013. Forget that. I want a Black Widow movie starring Scarlett Johansson NOW!(Obviously, IM2 rocks. Make sure you say past the credits.)(The Outhouse)Eric Byrnes, look at your future, ye Major Leaguer and despair. The sadness that Eric Byrnes can look forward to as an recreational softball player now that his career as a Major Leaguer is over.Oh well, at least the shirt and socks match. (JoeSportsFan.com)Does the Big 10 really want these guys? Despite all the speculation that the Big 10 wants Rutgers as a member school, you have to wonder if its more to the proximity to New York City than to any real desire to have the Scarlet Knights at the party. Especially with fans like this.I doubt either the Big 10 or Savon Huggins would want any part of this. Better hope Notre Dame changes their minds. (SB Nation)

Big 10 expansion: The voices in your head don't count as relaible sources

Big 10 expansion: The voices in your head don't count as relaible sources

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 10, 2010

A radio station in Kansas City claims that the Big 10 have offered invites to five schools for expansion. Those schools are Missouri, Nebraska, Notre Dame, and Rutgers. The later got the invite after ND declined, so the story goes.So far nobody believes the story, and SB Nation reports Missouri and Nebraska have denied the story. And Black Heart Gold Pants claims a whole different group of schools have been approached...along with Rutgers. Then again, BHGP tends to listen to an entirely different set of voices than the KC radio station does. Though those voices may be entirely more rational ones.(via SB Nation, Sports Radio 810 WHB, Black Heart Gold Pants)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Philly Phanatic and umpire have a

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Philly Phanatic and umpire have a "Bad Romance"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 10, 2010

Here's what everybody likes to see: A mascot getting the snot beat out of him. The Philly Phanatic, in his guise as "Lady Pha-Pha" (don't ask) decided to try to get an umpire to join him in a furpile. The result?I guess tasing the Phanatic was out of the question. Even so, the ump should get a huge raise for this.(via The 700 Level)

"Sexy" Lane Kiffin in the Sweet 16: It's on!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 10, 2010

Voting in the Esquire "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament is on! The Sweet 16 are set and are ready to go after each other. "Sexy" Lane Kiffin is battling it out with US Women's soccer star Heather Mitts. There's only ten days to vote, so don't delay and get at it!One word of warning: don't get cocky and try anything creative to stack the results in Kiffin's direction. Olivia Munn was given a warning due to supporters allegedly using "bot computer scripts" to jack up the vote in her favor. So keep your voting fair and square.(via Esquire)

Les Miles:Expansion? We don't need no steenkin' expansion!

Les Miles:Expansion? We don't need no steenkin' expansion!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 10, 2010

Les Miles doesn't think the SEC needs to go the way of the Big 10 and expand. And he expressed his views in the Orlando Sentinel."I don't know that the SEC needs expansion. The fact that they have a pretty good format for a championship game, I think the teams we have are certainly very competitive. When you go to expanding a 12-team conference, what team are you going to bring in that brings with it a strength and a financial package and a strength of following that will add to the conference? Really you're looking at at least two teams you need to bring in. I think that's going to be a difficult order."Miles may have time management issues, but he does make good point or two there. As a whole, the SEC seems rather complete in itself. (And honestly, if I could trade Clemson to the ACC Miami, Georgia Tech, and FSU don't have the same kind of true Southern flavor you would expect an SEC school to have. Same goes for Virginia Tech or Maryland. Virginia might. But seriously, would anybody want Virginia in the SEC? (Outside of Virginians, of course.)The only true "Southern" school that isn't in the SEC is Clemson. And while expanding the SEC to bring the Tigers in is interesting, there's a good chance most SEC supporters would rather kick another team out instead to let them in. I'd trade South Carolina for Clemson any day of the week.(via EDSBS, Orlando Sentinel)

The Golddomedammerung: ND women's golf team member caught lying about score.

The Golddomedammerung: ND women's golf team member caught lying about score.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 9, 2010

Notre Dame golfer Annie Brophy has been disqualified from the NCAA women's golf Central Regional for unsportsmanlike conduct. Specifically, she lied about here score. Brophy reported a 30 on the front nine at Otter Creek Golf Course in Columbus, Indiana. Kyle Lynne Veltri, assistant coach at ND figured that score couldn't be true and reported it to officials. The officials approached Brophy at the 14th hole to tell her of her disqualification. Nice to see the commitment to integrity carries on under the Gold Dome.(via Waggle Room, Golfweek)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Mother's Day Edition

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Mother's Day Edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 9, 2010

A Message from The Bear: Call your mama. It's Mother's Day(via Roll 'Bama Roll)A "King" berates a "Nation". "The King of College Football" Chuck Oliver chides the Bulldog Nation getting worked up over high school junior Christian LeMay's plans to enroll at Georgia next January when the Dawgs' probable starting quarterback in 2010, Aaron Murray hasn't even begun his career. (Chuck Oliver's Blog)Frosted Orange is the color of schadenfreude. Rocky Top Talk counts down the "The 20 Most Heartbreaking Losses in the Last 20 Years." Read Part One with #20-16 here, Part Two with #15-11 here, then get more in depth with entries Ten and Nine. Expect to see a lot of losses to Florida an Alabama here. The 2001 loss to Georgia in the "Hobnail Boot" game had better be in the top ten. (Rocky Top Talk)

Rocky Mountain Hi-Jinks:Denver's Next Top Quarterback

Rocky Mountain Hi-Jinks:Denver's Next Top Quarterback

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 8, 2010

Denver radio station KS 107.5 decided to make an America's Next Top Model parody involving the slowly evolving quarterback contriversy involving Kyle Orton, Brady Quinn, and Tim Tebow. Sadly, this parody may be closer to the truth than anybody will ever be comfortable enough to admit. Seriously, you didn't think Quinn got signed because of his stellar NFL career, did you?While we're on the subject: Have any of America's Next Top Model's actually gone on to become top models? I don't seem to recall any showing up in the SI Swimsuit Issue or anything like that.(Via YouTube)

What Passes for Life: Laser show edition.

What Passes for Life: Laser show edition.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 7, 2010

Oh, don't act so surprised at this: Someone made a Dustin Pedroia laser show gif: Photobucket" border="0"> (Out of Bounds, Tauntr.com) Who'd win in a fight between Miss Piggy and the Smoke Monster? Lost vs. The Muppets (via Morning Glow) Couldn't he just play that Britney song? Colorado Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki comes to the plate with Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A. blaring. He says it's for his high school girl fan base. Two words: Lawrence Taylor. (Big League Stew) And on a related front: Don't alarmed just yet, Patrots' fans. But Tom Brady is sporting the same kind of hairstyle Ben Roethlisberger was sporting before he buzzed it off for his meeting with Roger Goodell. (via The Big Lead) (Disputed) List of the Day. "The 6 worst Christian Bands of all-time." You know the person coming up with a list has absolutely no clue about the subject they are talking about when they declare Creed the "Worst Christian Band of all time." Seriously, go listen to "What's This Life For," count the number of times you hear the Scott StaphStapp say seven letter g-word, and tell me Creed is or was ever a Christian band. (guyism) This isn't the kind of wrestling Iowa's famous for. The latest bout of insanity from Black Heart Gold Pants features Iowa basketball players channeling WWE stars. Including Matt Gatens channeling his inner R***y O***n. (Yes, there's a reason why O***n's name is bleeped out. Just know that Ricky Stanzi would probably kick is butt on sight for what he did.) (Black Heart Gold Pants)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Friday SEC/ACC news

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Friday SEC/ACC news

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 7, 2010

Congrats to David Pollack: The Georgia legend's daughter, Leah Heather Pollack came into the world today. (David Pollack's Twitter)"Mr. College Football" predicts: Tony Barnhart polishes his crystal ball and sees Alabama and Ohio State playing for the BCS Championship. So Barnhart pretty much has 'Bama winning the BCS. (Mr. College Football)Frosted Orange Crush: Barbara Dooley shows up at a Big Orange Caravan appearance in Atlanta by her son, Derek Dooley...wearing Orange. Somehow, some way, this is Dr. Evil Michael Adams fault. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Go Vols Xtra)Bobby Petrino's house for sale in Arkansas: Don't get your boxers in a bunch, Hogs fans, he says he only wants to get a smaller place. Somewhere closer proximity to the airport, is my guess where he looking . (Dr. Saturday)Georiga quarterbacks have to stick together: In other UGA legend news, Buck Belue defends Bulldog quarterback coach/offensive coordinator (and former UGA quarterback) Mike Bobo. (Buck's Blog)Get well soon, Frank Beamer: Va. Tech's Frank Beamer may need surgery on a torn bicep muscle received falling while exiting an airplane. The reports that the concrete on the runway will have to be repaired are completely the delusions of Spencer Hall. (Dr. Saturday, examiner.com, EDSBS)

Somehow this makes sense: Tim Tebow, Twilight, and the Mayan Apocalypse

Somehow this makes sense: Tim Tebow, Twilight, and the Mayan Apocalypse

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 7, 2010

Some kid decided to post a YouTube clip rambling on about Tim Tebow and Twilight. And then tosses in dreading that The Hobbit movie might not come out before the world is supposed to end when the Mayan calendar runs out in 2012.So why is this being posted here? Because somehow Tim Tebow and the Twilight saga go together. Don't ask why, but they do. And throw the Mayan Apocalypse into the mix just seems fitting too. It just all seems natural, somehow.And no, Tim Tebow isn't a vampire. He's played too many games in the Florida sunshine for that. But if Josh McDaniels has dreams where His Tebowness rips his clothes off while turning into a wolf...well, it just wouldn't be too shocking.

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