What does Big Ben dream ofWhen he takes a little Big Ben snooze?Does he dream of how he screwed upGoing to Milledgeville for a few brews.Don't you worry your little scruffy headYou're suspended for six games, you may only be out four instead.Then you'll return to the Gold and BlackAnd your teammates will pretend they're glad you're back.Ben, Ben, Oh Ben , Benji, Benji, Ben, Ben.But if you're caught again with your pants downThen you're **** out of luck.(Apologies to Ed Helms)(via Deadspin)
¡Bueno Cinco de Mayo! To all of SWRT's readers. Here's a little musical treat for you to celebrate the day with.Nothing says Cinco de Mayo like a Celtic punk rock band.
The 2010 FIFA World Cup is coming up. And what better way to promote than to have soccer players strip down to their nationally themed skivvies for a Vanity Fair photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz ? Because nothing says the love for your country like skidmarks, right?The man in the star-spangled boxed briefs is US Soccer Team member Landon Donovan, in case you didn't know. Leibovitz made him look especially dorky with the do-rag on his head. Why does she hate America?The feeling must be mutual, since the magazine decided to place Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal) and Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast) on the cover instead of any American players.Way to root for the home team, Vanity Fair.(via SB Nation, Vanity Fair)
It has not been the best of times for the Boston Red Sox. But after the embarrassment of losing three straight to the Baltimore Orioles, the Sox came back last night with a 17-8 drubbing of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, including an impressive over the Green Monster homer from Dustin Pedroia. After the game, Pedroia took time to give the suffering "fans of New England" a rousing speech of hope and inspiration.“Everybody can be [expletive] happy when you’re [expletive] 30-1, but what is everybody going to do when we’re 12-14? Are you going to show up to work the next day and write an [expletive] story? Hell no. You’re going to write the best story of your life. We’re going to try and play the best [expletive] game of our life tomorrow. That’s what you’ve got to do when you’re 12-14. Don’t put your head down and mope. Grind it out. You believe. That’s what we’re built on.”John Henry and Theo Epstein need to go ahead and engrave Pedroia's speech on a plaque and place it at the entrance of Fenway Park so it can inspire future generations of Red Sox players and fans, just like Florida did with Tim Tebow's immortal speech. Pedroia's speech has to at least be on a par with it. (via Big League Stew, WEEI)
- A teenager was tased last night for being on a baseball field when he didn't belong there. Sadly, it wasn't Justin Beiber. (Big League Stew)- In related idiot news, a man was arrested for threatening to blow up the WWE headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut. He was upset that WWE had released Mickie James. (Wrestle Scoop)- And for the trifecta: The Broadway version of Green Day's American Idiot recieved a Tony Award nomination for Best Musical. This symbolizes either the apex of collapse of the traditional American musical tradition. Or both. (Yahoo! News)-Vinny Del Negro is an ex-Bulls coach. (Yahoo! Sports)- Is Jeff Gordon really being compared to Charlie Brown. I might compare Gordon and Jimmie Johnson to Peppermint Patty and Marcie sometimes, but never to Good Ol' Charlie Brown. (From the Marbles)- Oh well. Since I already went there:- Expansion hysterical hyphothetical of the day: Arkansas rejoining its old SWC brethren in the Big 12. (Dr. Saturday)- List of the Day: "The 6 Greatest Movie Villains We Just Forgot About." (Uproxx)
Here's the winner of the "Goober of the Day" contest. A Philadelphia Phillies fan ran onto the Citizen's Bank Park field during Monday night's game against St. Louis. Security saw nothing funny about it and tased him.No word yet on who the genius is. Though it'd be funny if it turns out to be out to be the boyfriend of the girl holding the Chase Utley sign from last night. Now that would be awkward.(via SB Nation, The 700 Level)
There are only two days left in Round Two of Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament. Standings have been updated, but there's no big changes top report. Lane Kiffin is still beating Danica Patrick in their match-up. It looks like Kiffin will now easily make it into the Sweet Sixteen and a probably face-off with US soccer player Heather Mitts.Meanwhile, it look like Kiffin is starting to take this whole thing seriously. He posted on his Twitter account today that he was "working out with olympic 200m breaststroke gold medalist Rebecca Soni" (Apparently nobody ever told Lane that "Olympic" was supposed to be capitalized.) I'm sure that Layla Kiffin is gonna be happy to hear about this one.(via Esquire, Lane Kiffin's Twitter)
Let's hope that that guy to her right isn't her boyfriend. For our sake and his.(via The 700 Level)
Notre Dame is apparently getting around to finding out who was responsible for that debacle of a music video. At least Black Heart Gold Pants is claiming it is. Needless to say this is another example of BHGP goodness.Speaking of the ND video:This should have been a Rickroll.( via Black Heart Gold Pants, EDSBS)
The LA Times Magazine got a chance to do an article and photo shoot with Kobe Bryant. And what do they do? Dress him in some of the goofiest outfits they could find.For an article titled "White Hot," the magazine dressed the Black Mamba in a series of white outfits that got goofier and goofier as they went along. Want proof?:Here's Kobe in a outfit that makes him look like Culture Club member Mikey Craig circa 1983. Seriously, just add Jon Barry in a Boy George costume and it'd be perfect. Scratch that, let's not give anybody any ideas.Oh wait, it gets worse:This is high fashion? It looks like men's underwear from the 1880's.What is this, Kobe of Arabia? It looks like he's ready to hang out with the Sex in the City girls in Dubai.You'd think pro athlete's would be a little more wary of magazine photo shoots after the A*Rod debacle. Apparently not.(via Ball Don't Lie, Los Angeles Times Magazine)
The Orange Bowl is absolutely positively looking for a new corporate sponsor. FedEx has decided to end its 21-year sponsorship with the Orange Bowl, balking at the reported $20 million dollar annual commitment that ESPN (who will be airing the game next year) was looking for. ESPN wants corporate partners to "buy a lengthy and more expensive college football package starting in September" when it comes to naming rights.It is understandable why FedEx would end its involvement with the Orange Bowl. The game has been the lowest rated of the BCS bowl games for the past two years. A larger and more expensive commitment to it makes less sense financially.(via EDSBS, Sports Business Journal)
Least Shocking News of the Day: LeBron James named NBA MVP. (Yahoo! Sports)Least Shocking News of the Day, First Runner-Up: Kentucky men's basketball team has the worst GPA in the SEC. (Kentucky Sports.com)A Boise State blog is looking for a "Public Enemy No.1 for the 2010 season. (One Bronco Nation Under God)Baltimore Orioles sweep the Boston Red Sox. Armageddon declared in Red Sox Nation. (Over the Monster)
Mark Kiszla of the Denver Post isn't shy about how he describes the relationship between Denver Broncos' head coach Josh McDaniels and number one draft pick Tim Tebow. He out and out calls it a "man crush."There's a nagging suspicion McDaniels didn't draft a Heisman Trophy winner so much as he fell head over heels for a football soul mate. Here is a coach and quarterback whose hearts beat as one.Up oh, Urban Meyer is going to be so jealous.The fact that the McDaniels-Tebow coach-player relationship may have already taken a turn for the Brokeback doesn't leave Kiszla too impressed. He seems to prefer QB's who have lifted up college non-powerhouses like Drew Brees or (surprise!) John Elway. While he likes McDaniels, Kisela is concerned that the coach's enthusiasm for Tebow has more to do with the QB's character than his on-the-field skills. And that it might be skewing his judgment.With McDaniels' history so far as the Bronco's head coach his judgment can certainly be called into question after the debacles with Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall. Drafting Tebow in the first round certainly raised a few more red flags in some critic's heads. Time will tell if McDaniels and Tebow become a formidable coach-QB team on the field. Or if it's a bromance built on delusion.(via Denver Post)
A portion of the Pittsburgh Marathon was diverted Sunday when a suspicious package was discovered near the finish line. The device, detonated by the Pittsburgh Bomb Squad, was described as "A microwave oven containing a suspected explosive device and pasta."Great, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is getting radical. Just what the world needed.(via Deadspin, WTAE)
Here's the latest on Duke's most disturbing player, Kyle Singler. Singler's younger brother, Oregon player E.J. Singler, had tweeted "Spring Game .... Hit Somebody! Let's Gooo," The elder Singler replied "You remember when I broke that kids ribs in middle school? Haha."Taking glee in injuring another human being is always a nice message to hear from one of your team's star players. Coach K probably wouldn't be too happy with Singler after that comment. Then again, Coach K may be too busy trapped in Singler's underground dungeon (or something like that) to care. Anybody seen him lately?
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