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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody! I truly am thankful for everyone who's checked SWRT out. There have been over 1600 hits, from places as far as Great Britain, Benin, Germany, and South Korea.Here's a little Thanksgiving song for you all.Well, at least it's a song about Turkey.

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! HokieBird

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! HokieBird

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving, HokeyBird. Oh, don't look so suprised. Even a casual visitor to this blog could have figured out you'd be the target for today's entry. What, you expected me to go after CavMan today or something? (Don't worry, he's gonna get his sooner or later).You're really a leftover (OOPS! Did I say leftover? My bad) from the days when Virginia Tech teams were called the Gobblers. According to legend has less to do with turkeys than it does to how the athletes ate their food...they gobbled it up. The team was called the Gobblers until football coach Bill Dooley changed the name to the Hokies (an early 20th century term from a team cheer c. 1896) because he plum didn't like it. Imagine that. Your team's name gets changed because your new coach is anal. Imaging if Lane Kiffin tried that stunt at Tennessee. Wait, let's not give him ideas.Anyhow for a turkey you're pretty hefty looking. I'll bet you're invited over forto dinner a lot. Yeah, a lot of the Hokie faithful would just love to have you at the table. You're very popular so I guess you have a real recipe for success. (OOPS! did I say recipe?) You sure do add flavor to...Dang! there I go again!Aw, forget it. MOM! When do we eat?(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

Give sports turkey lists the chopping block

Give sports turkey lists the chopping block

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 25, 2009

It's still not quite Thanksgiving yet and I'm already tired of one kind of turkey: sports turkeys. These is the annual lists created by unimaginative sports talk hosts needing to fill space. They really don't accomplish much, other than providing more embarrassment for some sports personalities that really didn't need it.Is it that hard to come up with interesting things to say on the day before Thanksgiving? It wouldn't be so bad if more than one or two outlets were doing it. But it seems every one has a turkey list. The usually more creative Pardon The Interruption did their take Wednesday afternoon. Not to be outdone, David Flemming also has his own turkey list over at ESPN.com. Sports Illustrated has an entire sports turkeys slide show. And over at FOX Sports.com, Mark Kriegel comes up with his list of coaching turkeys. Bah Humbug. (I know, wrong holiday. Ask me if I care.)Sports Turkey lists are one Thanksgiving tradition that needs to put on the chopping block. Believe it or not, there's a lot of good stuff in sports to be thankful for. So wasting a good five minutes or so of everyone's lives really isn't needed this time of year.(via ESPN.com, SI.com, FOX Sports.com)

Georgia Tech has a  potty mouth

Georgia Tech has a potty mouth

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 25, 2009

It's almost time for the annual Georgia Tech/Georgia game aka "Clean Old-Fashioned Hate." It's pretty much going to be a clean old-fashioned beatdown given to UGA by Tech this year. The Bulldog Nation can pretty much expect to hear Techies singing "I'm a Ramblin' Wreck From Georgia Tech" early and often in the game. Probably even more than they heard "Rocky Top" a the loss to Tennessee earlier this year."I'm a Ramblin' Wreck From Georgia Tech" has a lot in common with "Rocky Top." It's a seemingly innocent fight song which hides certain evil thought and ideas. Just look at the first verse:"I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer, A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, hell of an engineer, Like all the jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear, I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer."Techies drink whiskey? No wonder they wrecked! And all that cussing. Do Techies talk to their mothers with that mouth?And about that drinking. I'm not saying there's a problem with consumption of alcohol at Georgia Tech, but the band frequently plays this at games:And they call UGA a drinking school with a football problem.Back to the subject at hand: "Oh, if I had a daughter, sir, I'd dress her in White and Gold, And put her on the campus, to cheer the brave and bold. But if I had a son, sir, I'll tell you what he'd do. He would yell, "To Hell with Georgia," like his daddy used to do."Why does a Sublime song come to mine when I hear this? And "Cheer the brave and bold?" is that what they call it these days? Setting your daughter in what is pretty much considered a rough part of Atlanta isn't a really cool idea. Besides, what exactly are you planning to do your daughter on campus? Seriously, I think someone needs to call DFAC. "Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar three thousand pounds, A college bell to put it in and a clapper to stir it around. I'd drink to all good fellows who come from far and near. I'm a ramblin', gamblin', hell of an engineer."Gee, what could a Techie do with rum, 3,000 pounds of sugar and a bell? I've heard of moonshine stills exploding with less than this. Heck, Doctor Doom could probably make an neutron bomb with less less than a pound of sugar.So, what do we have here from Georgia Tech? Drinking, drinking and diving, cussing, child prostitution, possible acts of domestic terrorism...gee I really want my kids (if I had any) to go there. I really don't want to be visiting them in prison.

UGA has 99 problems, but PeTA ain't one.

UGA has 99 problems, but PeTA ain't one.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

Thank you, PeTA. Thank you for giving Americans yet another reason not to feel guilty for that second or third plate of turkey for Thanksgiving. The latest source of PeTA insanity: Asking UGA to replace the recently deceased UGA VII with "an animatronic dog."The complete e-mail from PeTA, via WGAU:In the wake of the untimely death of the University of Georgia's (UGA) bulldog mascot, Uga VII, PETA has asked the school's athletic director, Damon M. Evans, to replace the mascot with an animatronic dog--or to rely solely on a costumed mascot--instead of using another real bulldog. Bulldogs are prone to breathing difficulties, hip dysplasia, heart disorders, and other congenital ailments, and acquiring a dog from a breeder perpetuates the animal overpopulation crisis while causing another dog waiting in an animal shelter to be condemned to death. "It is time for the university to put an end to the cycle of suffering endured by dogs who are brought into the world solely to represent the school's 'brand'," says PETA Assistant Director Kristie Phelps. "By choosing a humane alternative to the use of live animals as school mascots, UGA can show that compassion always wins.Oh. Child. Please.Someone needs to tell PeTA UGA already has a costumed mascot to go along with the UGA Dynasty.(And if weren't for UGA VII's death there would've been a good chance Hairy would've been a [BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! target this week.)Needless to say the internet has been abuzz over when an "animatronic" dog would look like. Mark Bradley of the The Atlanta-Journal Constitution gives us what the mad scientists at the North Avenue Trade School Georgia Tech might come up with as UGA VII's replacement. EDSBS gets bonus points for transforming K-9 into a tailgate companion worthy of Jimmy Football. (I wonder if I could get one with a Coca-Cola dispenser instead?)No word yet from UGA about this foolishness, but this is what most of the Bulldog Nation wishes Damon Evans or Mark Richt would tell PeTA:(via WGUN, ajc.com, EDSBS,)

Report: Michigan State players go Sparta on fellow students

Report: Michigan State players go Sparta on fellow students

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

Michigan State football players were reportedly among a group of 15-20 individuals involved in an attack on students at a dorm on the Michigan State campus. The attacked occurred Sunday evening according to the police.Witnesses claim the group was looking for another student who was not present when they arrived. Several male and female students were injured, with one student reported as having to go to the hospital.It's doubtful that this is the way Mark Dantonio wanted to cap off the Spartans' regular season. No arrests have been reported, but if players are involved it won't look good for a team that went 6-6. It doesn't reflect well on Dantonio's or the institutional control of the program either.(via EDSBS, Sporting News, The State News)

Dawgageddon: Georgia waves white flag on black uniforms

Dawgageddon: Georgia waves white flag on black uniforms

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans has put the kibosh on alternate uniforms. This after the Dawgs were slammed in a loss to Florida wearing black helmets and black pants.I know there are times when you try to use uniforms to maybe change the mood of the team and so forth, and that’s been done . . . [with] the blackouts we’ve had in the past,” Evans said. “But . . . I like our traditional uniforms –- the silver britches, the red jerseys, the white jerseys and the red helmets -– and that’s what we need to stick with at the University of Georgia. . . .Congrats, Evans. Your football program is officially going backward. Sticking with the red and black and ditching alternate unis smacks of a team that is slowly regressing and stuck in the past.Here's a helpful rule of thumb involving tradition: Tradition is good if it links you to the past. Tradition is bad if it binds you to the past. It means you're more willing to rehash the glory days of the past than to build a future to be proud of. It means not taking risks now because that's not how they did it in the good old days. It means not willing to let go of the dead weight that's holding you back.Alternate unis aren't what caused Georgia to lose. It's that defense coordinator that Evans and Mark Richt keep propping up. Admit it, Willie Martinez has fewer active brain cells than Kurt Cobain did after he blew his head off. Everybody except Richt can see that.(via ajc.com)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT!: Bucky Badger

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT!: Bucky Badger

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

Badgers? We don't need no steenkin Badgers!Okay, not that we've gotten the obvious joke out of the way, let's get down to business:Of all the mascots out there Bucky Badger may be the most surreal. He looks less like a college mascot and more like a character out of Pokemon or Hello Kitty or some sort of other anime or Manga character. No, that's not a good thing. This is Freudian nightmare inducing kind. The kind that wanders into your dreams when you least expect it to provoke the highest level of fear possible. Seriously, this guy gives The Corinthian nightmares.Bucky has a full name...Buckingham U. Badger. Is there anything worse than a mascot with a full name? It makes something ludicrous and transforms it to something both pompous and ludicrous. Nothing wrong with Buckingham as a name...if it's a last name. I like Lindsey Buckingham. I like "Kind of a Drag" by the Buckinghams. But Buckingham as a first name? Boy, did your parents hate you. That or they're loaded and picked a snotty name to prove it. Either way, you're going to pay for it.And is it just me, or does Bucky's head remind you of Pink Floyd's The Division Bell album cover?Same concept. Look at Bucky Badger's head long enough and you'll start seeing something similar.(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

The Golddomedammerung: When Irish eyes are shinered

The Golddomedammerung: When Irish eyes are shinered

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

The latest on the Jimmy Clausen is that he was sucker-punched by "an irate fan" outside of a bar. Yeah, that sounds better. Reports also claim he was with family members and ND upperclassmen . No word on which family members were there. But if older brothers Casey and Rick its doubtful they could have been of any help. Word is they're both expected to be inducted into Georgia's Ring of Honor next year (they both qb'd for the Vols).(via ESPN)

Tebow's future...coaching?

Tebow's future...coaching?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

Tim Tebow's future as a pro is a big question at the moment that will get bigger at time draws closer to the NFL Draft. Now it seems there's already talk of his post-NFL career: coaching. At least that's what Urban Meyer says, according to Tebow."He actually always gives me a hard time about that, saying one day how I'm going to be in his seat and coaching here," Tebow said. "I don't know. That's something that intrigues me ... being able to coach them as far as life experiences and football.It wouldn't be a shock to see Tebow on the sidelines in the near future as Meyer's qb coach, continuing what's possibly the most disturbing player-coach relationship ever.Andy Hutchins, by the way, has put out a list of the best former player/current coaches . Guess who's number one? Hint: He used to go to Florida.(via The Sporting Blog, Sporting News)

The Golddomedammerung: Irish QB fighting in a bar?

The Golddomedammerung: Irish QB fighting in a bar?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

WGN reports Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen got in a little bit of a fight at a bar in South Bend in the early morning hours this past Sunday morning. There aren't any police reports of the incident, but sources claim Clausen received a black eye in the fracas. Father Jenkins, the president of Notre Dame is probably not going to be amused of such heathen acts on the Sabbath, especially since it's not the first time Clausen has been in trouble involving adult beverages.(via Dr. Saturday ,WGN, Chicago Tribune)

Mark Richt Hubris Watch: Glaring stat of the day.

Mark Richt Hubris Watch: Glaring stat of the day.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 23, 2009

"Mr. College Football" Tony Barnhart gives us this glaring stat about Georgia:"Georgia has played 11 football games this season and has only recovered one—ONE–fumble. Do you know how hard that is to do?"One fumble recovery? Do you really need another reason why Willie Martinez needs to be fired? Sadly his departure will be more of a sad dirge than a song of celebration from the once-proud Bulldog Nation. It's going to take years to clean up his mess.(And as for this "Mr. College Football" business. Does Barnhart get the title on merit or because Chuck Oliver already had the title of"King of College Football" title tied down? Talk about using your delusion.)(via ajc.com)

Rich Rodriguez Hubris Watch: AD search committee snubs football program

Rich Rodriguez Hubris Watch: AD search committee snubs football program

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 24, 2009

Michigan has put together a search committee to find a replacement for outgoing Athletic Director Bill Martin. The committee members are Wolverine basketball coach John Beilein, Life Sciences Institute Director Liz Barry, Professor Percy Bates, CFO Timothy P. Slottow, and provost Teresa A. Sullivan.Notice a name missing there? Yep, good 'ol Rich Rodriguez. Not only is he not part of the group but there isn't a single representative of the football program there. Interesting since football is one of the big revenue streams of the athletic department. The football program is being investigated by the NCAA. But you would think someone from the football side of the UM Athletic Department would be still represented. Nice vote of confidence for a coach everybody at UM claims will be back there next year.(via Detroit Free Press)

The Golddomedammerung: Guess who's not coming to dinner, Domers? Urban Meyer, that's who

The Golddomedammerung: Guess who's not coming to dinner, Domers? Urban Meyer, that's who

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 23, 2009

The last Golddomedammerung post has barely enough time to dry and this little gem pops up. Urban Meyer says he's not going to leave Florida for Notre Dame. Well, that should close that subject, but it won't.The sad truth is the Meyer to Notre Dame story is probably never really going to go away. It will pop up every few years while Meyer keeps on being successful at Florida, while ND fires another in a long line of underperforming coaches (at least by the Irish fanbase definition of underperforming).Meyer has nothing to gain bolting from Florida to Notre Dame. If he did, he tarnish his reputation in an instant. Jumping would drop him to the level of Nick Saban and the other coaches who jump from school to school leaving nothing but scorched earth. What he's done at Florida is remarkable and there's still room for Meyer to do a little more. Not to say Meyer will never go to South Bend, but it will be a year or two after he leaves Florida. Leaving now would be a huge mistake. It looks like Meyer fully gets that. Too bad the delusional Irish fanbase doesn't.(via Rivals.com)

The Golddomedammerung: Replacing Charlie Weis won't be as easy as you think

The Golddomedammerung: Replacing Charlie Weis won't be as easy as you think

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 23, 2009

Dan Wetzel claims that the "Irish can't get it wrong" in the headline for his article on replacing Charlie Weis. Gee, that's never been said before. Wetzel then goes on to discuss coaching choices where absolutely everything could go wrong.Expecting everything to go peachy in the quest for Weis' successor is pretty unrealistic. Especially if Notre Dame does the foolish thing and tries to go for a big name. Wetzel claims it couldn't hurt to pick talk to Urban Meyer's agent. Yes it would. It's doubtful Meyer's going to start toying with ND (or anybody else) at the edge of fulfilling Tim Tebow's promise of a perfect season. Even thinking Meyer's would want a Les Miles-esque describes delusional in any sense of the word.As for the other names out there (Brian Kelly, , Jim Harbaugh, etc.) They've had a nice season or two, but are they going to be long term successes on a bigger stage? And do they really want to move to South Bend a.k.a. Delusional Fanbase Central?Dream of the Endless would frequently ask "What could possibly go wrong?" at the start of his adventures in the Sandman graphic novels. Things usually got out of hand very quickly. Notre Dame and the people who think it will be easy to replace Charlie Weis should remember that.(via Rivals.com)

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