Tuesday, June 2, 2015 • Midnight Edition • "The CBR of comic book journalism."

Watch It, Canada! Ottawa Senators mess with

Watch It, Canada! Ottawa Senators mess with "The Star Spangled Banner"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

It would seem that some Canadians are getting a little bit cocky since the Canadian Olympic Hockey team beat their American Counterparts in the Olympics last Sunday. Apparently some genius working for the Ottawa Senators decided it would be fun to show clips of Canadian gold medal winners during the playing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" before Tuesday night's home game against the New York Rangers. This culminated with a clip of Sydney Crosby's game winning goal for the Canadians. There apparently was no similar video presentation during "O Canada."How did the visiting Rangers take it? Well Rangers' right wingman Ryan Callahan says he wasn't even paying attention to it. "I didn't have any idea. I don't look at the scoreboard during the anthem. I look at the flag."The Rangers beat the Senators 4-1, by the way. Put that in your humble pie and chew on it, Ottawa.Look, Canada, just because you beat America in hockey doesn't mean your top dog in the world. And after that atrocious closing ceremony with the inflatable giant, inflatable Mounties giant beavers, and Nickelback, it'll be a dang long while before you get to host an Olympics again.(via Deadspin, New York Post )

Oh Snap! J.T. Bowtie is back!

Oh Snap! J.T. Bowtie is back!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

It's been a long time, but notorious Alabama fan J.T. Bowtie is back. If you recall, J.T. is the creation of Alabama student Taylor Fortenberry, who became infamous last fall with his series of videos mocking other SEC schools and their fans. Things got to a point where Fortenberry was getting death threats after ridiculing Ole Miss fans, so he decided to retire the character.Well that retirement was short lived. J.T. Bowtie is back. But now it seems like he making himself the butt of his jokes rather than other schools, as you can see from the following clip.Whether this remains the course has yet to be seen. But the SEC had better watch out.

A

A "Lane Kiffin" video too disturbing not to share.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 3, 2010

Here's another disturbing image for your Freudian nightmares: "Lane Kiffin" and his USC coaching staff, aledegly trying to recruit players to USC.There's a Full Monty Kiffin joke around here somewhere, but I'm not going to touch it.The sad thing is that with Land Kiffin and Ed Orgeron there is the very good possibility of this actually happening.

Gilbert Arenas helps PeTA give away fur coats. What the...

Gilbert Arenas helps PeTA give away fur coats. What the...

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 3, 2010

Here's the WTF? Story of the Day:Agent Suspect Zero Gilbert Arenas is keeping busy during his gun-related suspension from the NBA by helping PeTA distribute fur coats to women in need.Yes, you just read that.It does seem odd for the most notorious animal rights group to be giving away fur coats. But these coats were "all donated by people who bought them, then had a change of heart and wanted to discard them for ethical reasons." PeTA turns around and donates them to homeless or people otherwise in need to stay warm in the winter.Arenas' involvement with PeTA began earlier in the current NBA season before the locker room incident involving himself, Wizards teammate Javaris Crittenton, and a couple of firearms.They have continued to support him after the Wizards virtually wiped any trace of his existence from the Verizon Center, and Adidas dropped him as a sponsor."It's just like anything. When something happens, everyone flees away," Arenas said. "So I already knew all that was going to happen. But PETA, they stayed behind me, they stayed with the cause, and that's the reason I came."The best thing that can be said about Arenas' situation is that he's making a good use of it.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Purdue Pete getting a makeover?

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Purdue Pete getting a makeover?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 2, 2010

One of the scarier college mascots roaming the sidelines is getting a makeover. Purdue is sending Purdue Pete to the plastic surgeon (or is that the fiberglass manufacturer?) for a few cosmetic changes.One of the reasons for the change is obvious. Purdue Pete scares the heck out of little kids."Look, I'm the one who gets the phone calls from parents who say that big face scares their 3-year-old," said Morgan Burke, athletic director."It's been 25 to 30 years since he got a makeover. At some point, the poor old guy has to come into the 21st century."The reaction from some Purdue fans and alumni is also obvious...they don't like it."We don't want him to be too cute and too pretty -- we're trying to convey that we're tough," said Sherman Winski, 61, a Frankfort business owner who saw his first Purdue game at age 7 and now tailgates at home football games in a black and gold ambulance."He's a Boilermaker, after all. And we're not pansies," said Winski.Purdue's recent success on the gridiron says otherwise. How the basketball team will do without Robbie Hummel is in doubt.(via Dr. Saturday, Indy.Star.com)

Russia livid over lackluster Olympics

Russia livid over lackluster Olympics

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 1, 2010

Russia's success in the 2010 Olympics was fleeting at best. It ran sixth in the medal count, well behind the US, Germany, and Canada. Needless to say the Russian athletic community is taking it on the chin. Russian President Dmitry Medvedev is calling on officials involved with Winter Olympic sports to resign or "we will help them." No word on what Vladimir Putin, the Russian Prime Minister (and the real power in the country) thinks, but it's probably along the same lines.The members of the Russian Olympic Hockey team who play in the NHL are probably lucky they had somewhere else to go besides the Motherland also. Coach Vyacheslav was quoted last week as saying “Let’s put up a bunch of guillotines and gallows. We have 35 people on the hockey team. Let’s go to Red Square and dispatch with them all.”Oh well, I hear Siberia's very beautiful this time of year.(via Yahoo! Sports, New York Times)

Smoltz spoils Republicans plan to send him to Congress

Smoltz spoils Republicans plan to send him to Congress

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 28, 2010

Well, it was a fun idea while it lasted. John Smoltz has squashed talk of him running for a seat in the US Congress. Some Republicans in Georgia had been floating the idea of drafting Smoltz as a GOP candidate to replace the retiring Georgia Representative John Linder (R, 4th district).The Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Jim Galloway contacted Smoltz, who claimed he isn't interested in running for the job.That's kind of a shame. Because there are so many places a Smoltz campaign could go. Imagine the "Smoltz for Congress" signs with a tomahawk on them. Imagine all the PC police getting hot and bothered about it. Then there are the inevitable baseball cliches that could have been used ("Vote for Smoltz the strike out taxes"). Then again, opponents could have brought up all those Divisional Championships the Braves won, with only one World Series. Oh well, it's too late now.(via Atlanta-Journal Constitution)

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Making a mountain out of a (Chapel) molehill

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Making a mountain out of a (Chapel) molehill

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 27, 2010

Buster Sports posted the following image on its website, raising a red alert that at least one North Carolina apparel store might be abandoning ship with the basketball program for the football program, of all things.As an alert David Warner noticed, this UNC store is using the school's football team to sell t-shirts; the basketball shirts are there, technically, but they're relegated to a stray pile. This is like Ron Jeremy using his face to sell porno movies.The idea that a retailer might be promoting the Tar Heels' football team over the basketball team is a real tough sell. That "2 for 20" sign screams "overstock" more than anything else. That, or it's getting ready for spring practice.If anything, that "stray pile" of UNC basketball shirts looks like more shirts have been sold from it than from those vast piles of unsold football shirts. Some abandoning ship there.Besides, it's doubtful that UNC fan stores selling UNC football shirts is anything for Roy Williams to worry about. Even with Butch Davis' modest success, UNC isn't close to becoming a football school.Now if the UNC fan stores start selling Duke shirts, on the other hand...(via Buster Sports)

Brett Favre: The Musical.

Brett Favre: The Musical.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 26, 2010

It had to happen sooner or later. Somebody had to take the Brett Favre story and pair it with show tunes. something called Kyle and Taylor (Literally Entertainment) had produced a ten minute musical film primarily focusing on the last few years of the Brett Favre era. This is extremely pro-Favre. And extremely lame.All that's missing from this little clip is John and Madden as a Greek chorus.

More reasons why R**n Mallett has lost the right to use the name

More reasons why R**n Mallett has lost the right to use the name "Ryan"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 25, 2010

Here at Shirts With Random Triangles there's a little something called "The Ryan List". Ryan is the name of winners , heroes and champions. Like Nolan Ryan, Matt Ryan, and Real World: Brooklyn cast member and Iraq vet Ryan Conklin. A few months ago Arkansas quarterback R**n Mallett lost his spot on the list for losing to Georgia and Alabama. He broke his foot earlier this year. If the following video is accurate about how Mallett is getting around the Arkansas campus, then it's gonna be a long time before he ever earns a spot back on the list.Does that say "dork," or does that say "dork"?Seriously, if I were a college QB with a foot injury I'd be having myself getting around campus in a wheelchair pushed by cheerleaders and/or hot coeds. That. my friends, would be pimpin'.(via EDSBS)

It had to happen: Tiger Woods inspires rap song by Ludacris

It had to happen: Tiger Woods inspires rap song by Ludacris

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 25, 2010

It was bound to happen. Tiger Woods sexcapades have apparently inspired a rap song. Or at least given Ludacris some more material.Yes. Bill O'Reilly's favorite rapper has come out with a rap song called "Sexting" which includes a bit apparently inspired by Tiger Woods infamous voice mail message to one of his mistresses. Which besides mocking sexting, and sex addiction rehab clinics gives new meaning to the term "hole in one."

Your Anti-Kiffin Fix of the Day

Your Anti-Kiffin Fix of the Day

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 24, 2010

Yet another Tennessee fan has vented their hatred for Lane Kiffin on You-Tube. There's some questionable language so click to the link at your own risk. Just remember that someday, Vols fans will look at the BSC "Championship" trophies won by Derek Dooley and laugh at all this. Yeah, right. Who do I think I'm fooling here?

Tony Kornheiser suspended from PTI

Tony Kornheiser suspended from PTI

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 23, 2010

Want to know the real reason Tony Kornheiser wasn't on Pardon the Interruption yesterday? The Big Lead reports that Kornheiser has been suspended from PTI for a few days due to comments made about one of Hannah Storm's outfits she wore on ESPN last week.(via The Big Lead, Deadspin)

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Vols fans have a new outlet for anti-Kiffin sentiment

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Vols fans have a new outlet for anti-Kiffin sentiment

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 22, 2010

Well, it didn't take too long for someone to come up with a shirt for those still irate over Lane Kiffin Tennessee Vols fans (cue the Carolina Liar...). Not the most original statement here, but still effective.Ironically, this picture originally appeared on the Inside USC blog. Oh how beautiful the irony. It makes you wonder what that shirt would look like in cardinal and gold, doesn't it? I guess we'll find out in a few years.(via Inside USC, Dr. Saturday)

I'll go with

I'll go with "Places I Don't Want to See My Team's Starting QB showing up at," Alex

By Juan Cena in SWRT on February 22, 2010

What was Eli Manning doing while big brother Peyton was preparing for his Super Bowl chokejob appearance? According to The Angry T, Elijah was apparently hanging out at a Super Bowl party hosted by Hooters.Not that he was alone. Lions' QB Matt Stafford was there too. Along with Jon Gruden, Joe Montana, and Chad (Johnson). Sam Bradford was hanging around too. (And yes genius, there are Hooters resturants in Oklahoma).Should anybody be surprised that Eli was at a Hooters party? This was the same guy who was writing graffiti in the visitor's locker room in the brand-new Jerry Jones' Heathen Temple to His Own Avarice Cowboys Stadium. Archie should have raised him better.(via The Angry T, The Big Lead)

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!