Tuesday, May 5, 2015 • Morning Edition • "Bring your own straight jacket."
When cultural phenomena collide Brett Favre and

When cultural phenomena collide Brett Favre and "Pants on the Ground"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 17, 2010

Thank you, Brett Favre. Thank you for making the most hideous culture phenomena of the new decade (possibly the whole frakin' millennium even) just that more hideous.Just a word on this Larry Platt pratt: The media shouldn't humor this clown as refer to him as "general." Reportedly the nickname was given to him by the late civil rights activist Hosea Williams. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution he's never even served in the military, so he hasn't earned the title. He might have done a lot in aiding in the Civil Rights movement. But calling yourself a general when you're not is an insult to those who served their country to protect those rights. Not to mention those like the Tuskegee Airmen, who helped break the color barrier in the US military.(via Awful Announcing, Atlanta-Journal Constitution)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Purdue Pete

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Purdue Pete

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 16, 2010

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! IT'S AN AUTON! Don't let him catch you! Run before it's too late!Oh wait, it's just Purdue Pete, the unofficial costumed mascot of Purdue University. But dangit, he's just as scary as an Auton.Just Look at that head. Even for a costumed character that head looks frightening. Those big oval eyes. The totally emotionless stare. That shiny fabricated head is totally nightmare inducing. Where's Jon Pertwee when you need him? (well he's dead, but that's besides the point). Purdue Pete isn't the official Purdue mascot. That's a "train" called the Boilermaker Special, of all things. But we'll throw the train under the bus some other time. Purdue still lets this Freudian nightmare roam the sidelines and the courtside. Pete likes to show his sinister control over the Purdue student body by using them as his own personal wave pool.Is this normal? I think not.(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

Derek Dooley's Papa on Lane Kiffin

Derek Dooley's Papa on Lane Kiffin

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 16, 2010

Want to know what Derek Dooley's papa, Vince Dooley said earlier in regards to Kiffin, a day or so ago before young Derek got the nod as Kiffin's replacement as UT coach?“Well, Lane Kiffin has brought the signs of the times to an extreme,” Dooley said with a chuckle.If Vince and Barbara show up at the next UGA/UT game in frosted Tennessee Orange it's serve Dr. Evil Michael Adams right for the way he treated him.By the way, it turns out Derek Dooley's son is named Peyton. That should make the natives somewhat happy.Anyhow, here's one last Lane Kiffin song for this week, with apologies to Soul Asylum:(via Get the Picture, Houston Chronicle)

Meet Derek Dooley

Meet Derek Dooley

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 15, 2010

This is Derek Dooley, who was until an hour or so ago the head football coach of the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs. He's left that job to take the same position as University of Tennessee head football coach. This after it seemed everybody and his dog turned the job down.Derek Dooley is the son of legendary Georgia football coach Vince Dooley. He played football at Virginia 1987-1990. After graduating Virginia, he obtained a law degree at Georgia. Like Mike Leach, he was a practicing lawyer before becoming a football coach (Quick, lock the electrical sheds at UT). He was an assistant coach with various roles at LSU under Nick Saban. So he's obviously been tutored in he ways of how to leave a program high and dry.Dooley became head coach of Louisiana Tech in 2007. In three seasons he went 17-20, with one winning season in 2008 (complete with Independence Bowl win against Northern Illinois). The other two years...meh.Dooley was also named athletic director at Louisiana Tech in 2008. Meaning he's left the school with two vacant positions to fill (see, Saban taught him well). The AD experience might be valuable, as Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton will probably be out of a job after the Lane Kiffin debacle.(via Tennessean.com)

Derek Dooley new UT coach.

Derek Dooley new UT coach.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 15, 2010

Derek Dooley's been hired as Tennessee head coach. The question now is: Will Vince Dooley be Derek's defense coordinator? Or will Derek pick Barbara for the job?

Dawgageddon: The End is near?

Dawgageddon: The End is near?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 15, 2010

The long Bulldog national nightmare appears to be over. Rivals.com's Tom Dienhart reports that Todd Grantham (pictured), current Dallas Cowboys defensive line coach, will be named Georgia's new defense coordinator. This coming forty-plus days since Willie Martinez was fired, and after several high-profile candidates turned the job down. How this will effect recruiting is up in the air. Or how Mark Richt and Damon Evans will spin Gratham as being the right man for the job after not being the first man to be offered it.(via Rivals.com)

Arenas charged with gun possession.

Arenas charged with gun possession.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 14, 2010

Gilbert Arenas if officially in hot water. ESPN reports that Agent Suspect Zero is being charged with felony gun possession. It looks like the Arenas merchandise will continue to be mysteriously absent at the Verizon Center for a long time.(via ESPN)

Vols search to replace Kiffin off to a Rocky start.

Vols search to replace Kiffin off to a Rocky start.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 14, 2010

Tennessee's search to replace Lane Kiffin is off to a rocky start. Phillip Fulmer says he doesn't want his old job back (but then, who really wanted him back). Will Muschamp says he isn't going anywhere. And now Air Force coach Troy Calhoun has announced he's not leaving Colorado Springs for Knoxville.The search now seems headed for the direction of Duke's head football David Cutcliffe (picture), who was a former Tennessee offensive coordinator. His record at Duke in two years is 9-15. Then again, he was 44-29 at Old Miss, where he coached Eli Manning. He also coached Peyton Manning as an OC at Tennessee. So he's a better candidate for the job than his recent history would show.If Cutcliffe turns the Vols down, it may be time to dust off SWRT's suggestion for UGA's search for Willie Martinez (which is still going on!) and call it "Who Wants To Be Tennessee Head Coach?"(via Orlando Sentinel, statesman.com, The Sporting News, ESPN)

The cleanest thing Lane Kiffin has been called by Vols fans in the past day or so

The cleanest thing Lane Kiffin has been called by Vols fans in the past day or so

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 14, 2010

Yep, it's another rap song about Lane Kiffin. Or as he's now called....Lame Kiffin.Okay, it's not the most original name, but it's one you can use in front of your mom. If she's not using cuss word when it comes to talking about Kiffin, that is.

Lamar Odom has his own line of shirts (without random triangles)

Lamar Odom has his own line of shirts (without random triangles)

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 13, 2010

Remember the t-shirt from a couple of days ago with the Larry O'Brien Championship Trophy used to point out Los Angeles' spot on the map? Well Lamar Odom's Rich Soil Clothing features a variation of I (Heart) (Your City Here) using a ring for the heart (the one on the right). Though as it turns out, it's not a real NBA championship ring, but a ring that's also produced by Rich Soil. So a few cool points taken away there.The shirt on the left features the Rich Soil logo. It looks pretty good actually. The rest of the shirts in the line aren't pretty much different from other shirts found out on the street. Nothing too bad, but nothing out of the ordinary. Lamar Odom's clothing line isn't too bad. But do you know what would be really cool? A brand of Lamar Odom candies. It's an area he obviously has intimate knowledge in.(via First Cuts)

Kiffingate: When did Urban Meyer Know and when did he know it?

Kiffingate: When did Urban Meyer Know and when did he know it?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 13, 2010

Pretty darn quick, obviously.Don't think Meyer's going to be back next season? Tennessee's reeling, UGA is a mess. Vanderbilt is...well, Vanderbilt. Next season's going to be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Shirts Withour Random Triangles: Well, at least SOMEBODY in Knoxville has a lick of sense

Shirts Withour Random Triangles: Well, at least SOMEBODY in Knoxville has a lick of sense

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 13, 2010

There been a lot of abuse of Lane Kiffin related merchandise up in Knoxville, and probably other places as well. But the Mitzi Sherill, manager of the Knoxville located HoundDogs store (a Tennessee merchandise retailer), has a better use for Kiffin t-shirts: send it to survivors of the earthquake in Haiti.Someone nominate Miss Sherill for the Nobel Peace Prize.(via The Commercial Appeal)

Well, this didn't take long: Vols fan disses Kiffin in rap song

Well, this didn't take long: Vols fan disses Kiffin in rap song

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 13, 2010

Remember When Lil' Wayne mentioned Lane Kiffin's name in a rap song? Well it didn't take long for Kiffins departure from UT inspire another rap song in his, uh, honor:This one's going to burn up iTunes faster than Ke$ha.

Lane Kiffin...Oh Snap!

Lane Kiffin...Oh Snap!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 12, 2010

It's one of those night where you just have to say oh snap! And then that's followed by a further bunch of oh snaps! Lane Kiffin's bolted Tennessee for USC. Hilarity riot ensues.No, I'm not kidding.Lane Kiffin may have set a record for wreaking havoc in the SEC at Tennessee. He's just about tripled it by leaving.(via rivals.com)

Dawgageddon: David Pollack uses his delusion, calls for VanGorder to be hired

Dawgageddon: David Pollack uses his delusion, calls for VanGorder to be hired

By Juan Cena in SWRT on January 12, 2010

Its starting to get bad out there for the Bulldog Nation. Get the Picture is already comparing the search for Willie Martinez's replacement to the Iran Hostage Crisis, for crying out loud.Then there is the sad feeling that the search for a new DC is starting to take a turn for the delusional. Georgia legend (and current sports radio jock) David Pollack has been spending the morning pimping tweeting that The Dawgs should ask former Dawg DC/current Falcons DC Brian VanGorder to return to the fold. He's starting to sound like the Hawks fans who would call up the fledgling sports radio stations in Atlanta claiming the solution to all the Hawks problems was to bring back Dominique Wilkins.It makes just as much sense for VanGorder to come back to Georgia as it did Kirby Smart to leave Alabama for the DC job. It not only is a lateral move, it just might be a step backward for VanGorder. If he makes any type of lateral moves, it will probably be to another NFL team. Or maybe to USC if those Jack Del Rio offered the head coaching job stories are true. Otherwise, any voluntary separation from the Falcons will probably be for another chance as a head coach somewhere. (Translation: Don't be surprised if his name turns up on the list to replace Mark Richt someday. Hopefully not any day soon.)The next thing you know the DN will be calling for Vince Dooley to be brought back to replace either Damon Evans Mark Richt. Oh dang, I just gave them an idea...(via Get the Picture, Yahoo! Sports)

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!