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Apparently Fedor Emelianenko likes...The Chicago NFL team

Apparently Fedor Emelianenko likes...The Chicago NFL team

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 1, 2009

Here's a photo courtesy of Cagewriter featuring Fedor Emelianenko at Soldier Field for Sunday's Chicago win against the team impersonating the Cleveland Browns with the mascot of that Chicago's NFL franchise.There's an obvious joke here, but I'm not going to be the one to make it.(via Cagewriter)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT: Harry the Hawk

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT: Harry the Hawk

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 1, 2009

I was going to wait a couple a days before I did another one of these, but dangit! Mr. Harry the Hawk here forced my hand. It's the first time in SWRT history that I've gone after a pro mascot, and trust me, its for a real good reason. But before that...Hey Harry; are you really a Hawk? Are you even a bird. It's kind of hard to tell here from this picture. It looks like you have wings and tail feathers, but your head doesn't look too hawk-like there. You look more like a snapping turtle, if I can be brutally honest. Or maybe its one of those other critters from Super MarioBros. And your armswings make you look more like the limbs of some kind of mutant red tiger or something. All together, you're something that looks like something out of a bad game of Dungeons & Dragons.I shouldn't complain too much. I mean its one thing for a college student to dress up as a lame funny animal mascot for a scholarship. Its a complete other thing to turn cosplaying into a full time paying gig. And you've obviously done that, Harry. You're being paid to be a furry. Whether that's something to write home about it another matter.But back to the reason for today's grievance. For Halloween, you and the Atlanta Hawks' A-Town dancers decided to do a little routine for Halloween. So what did y'all come up with?A freaking Thriller dance routine:Black Lantern Michael Jackson is not amused.(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)(via Ball Don't Lie)

500+ and counting. Thanks everybody

500+ and counting. Thanks everybody

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 1, 2009

SWRT hit 500 hits since the counter was added about three weeks ago. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read the blog. The best is hopefully yet to come. Be sure to tell your friends about the place.Just a reminder, there is a SWRT facebook group. Click on the link to check it out.

The Bakersfield Condor Michael Jackson jerseys in all their...glory?

The Bakersfield Condor Michael Jackson jerseys in all their...glory?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 1, 2009

Remember the story a few days ago about the Bakersfield Condors minor league hockey team holding a "King of Pop" night celebrating Michael Jackson, complete with lame Jacko-themed jerseys? Well, here's a pic or two of the the jerseys in all there, uh... "glory".Black Lantern Michael Jackson is not amused.

The Coolest Thing on the Internet RIGHT NOW! Christopher Walken interpets Lady Gaga

The Coolest Thing on the Internet RIGHT NOW! Christopher Walken interpets Lady Gaga

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 31, 2009

I don't consider myself among the cult who are obsessed with Christopher Walken, but dang! This just might be the best thing I've seen on the internet in a long freaking while. Walken+Lady Gaga+Jonathan Ross of the BBC=Awsome.(via The Outhouse, YouTube )

Cole Hamels: Stupid online clip or prophetic oracle?

Cole Hamels: Stupid online clip or prophetic oracle?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on November 1, 2009

This is a clip promoting the video game Call of Duty featuring the voice of Phillies' starting pitcher. Cole Hamels (alledegly). One one level it's a somewhat disturbing clip. On another it's highly prophetic of what happened in the fifth inning of Game 3 of the World Series: (warning: clip contains cussing, violence and a funny looking leaf)(via Big league Stew)

Here's the jersey Georgia will be wearing next week

Here's the jersey Georgia will be wearing next week

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 31, 2009


Mark Richt firing watch

Mark Richt firing watch

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 31, 2009

If Mark Richt wasn't already on the hot seat, he is now. The Georgia Bulldogs Surrender Monkeys lost another game to their rivals masters Florida. This time the score was 41-17.UGA fans aren't going take any more of this much longer.If the best Richt can come up with is black helmets, then maybe its time he take a shot at the fashion industry instead of football. Georgia fans want victories, not fashion statements.The Bulldog Nation also wants a real defensive coordinator instead of the current intern, Willie Martinez. Martinez's ineptitude has cost the school one too many wins, and countless millions of dollars. It's obvious to everyone Martinez has fewer active brain cells than Kurt Cobain did after he blew his head off. Everyone except Richt that is.I'm not saying Richt will be gone this year, but the clock is ticking. Either Georgia needs to quit the SEC, join a conference more suiting to its style of play (like Conference USA. Or maybe a Church League), or it needs to man up, and start fixing things around the (appropriately named) Butts-Meare Building. Monday would be a nice day to stop the bleeding. They should be lucky that Black Lantern Uga's don't rise from the crypt at Sanford Stadium and chase everyone out of town.Everybody involved on the Bulldogs Surrender Monkeys' side should be ashamed about the way things went down today. Nobody expected a chance of a BCS or SEC Championship this year with this squad. But it was doubtful it would be this bad. The chances for any kind of bowl game aren't looking good right now. Neither are half the staffs employment opportunities. Mark Richt may be on that list by this time next year. If not sooner.

A*Rod is two things...A baseball player and a narcissist

A*Rod is two things...A baseball player and a narcissist

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 31, 2009

It seems the internet is buzzing about the latest bizarre news about Alex Rodriguez. This time around one of his ex-girlfriends claims A*Rod has portraits of himself as a centaur located over his bed in US Magazine. For those readers who have lives growing up and never played Dungeons & Dragons, a centaur is a half-man, half horse creature from Greek mythology. Old Spice used one in a couple of commercials a while back:Disturbed? You should be. Now imagine one of those with A*Rod's upper body on it. worse better yet, feast your eyes on this artist rendering from Jason Fry of Faith and Fear in Flushing via Deadspin, Can't Stop the Bleeding, and apparently every other site on the internet besides Faith and Fear in Flushing:Personally, I'm having a hard time figuring out which part of this is A*Rod myself. No wonder Jeter doesn't respond his phone calls on off days.(via Deadspin )

It was too good to be true, and it wasn't

It was too good to be true, and it wasn't

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 30, 2009

We hate to be the ones to break this one to you, but the rumors that Layla Kiffin (Lane's wife, in case you didn't know) will not be posing in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Or probably in any other magazine for that matter. Funny, I didn't even know that the rumor was out there in the first place. All I really want to know is if she's visited the Alimony's , the beauty salon of Bruce Pearl's ex-wife Kim Shrigley. Tell me you wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall there.(via Deadspin)

SEC goes Daniel Snyder on critics

SEC goes Daniel Snyder on critics

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 30, 2009

The SEC now apparently means the Snyder-Esque Conference. After very public criticism of officiating in recent weeks and months, the SEC has finally decided it's finally going to do something about it...hand out immediate fines and suspensions for those who question the referees.So instead of fixing the problem, the SEC's simply going to slam those who point out the problem. That's rich. I'm sure the SEC will get around to fixing the poor officiating after a bad call costs Florida or Alabama a chance at the BCS.(via Rivals.com)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT: Bevo XIV

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT: Bevo XIV

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 30, 2009

Now here's a first, an actual animal mascot. Not some student who somehow managed to turn cosplaying into a gig with a scholarship. Not Bevo XIV. He the real deal, if not much of one.Seriously, you call yourself a bull there, Bevo? I have to admit, that's a nice pair of horns you've got there. But it's on such a scrawny body you have to think your overcompensating for something.To be honest, your not much a bull compared to those bulls in the (PBR)Professional Bullriders Association. Now those are some vicious beasts there, partner. Bevo wouldn't last a day in PBR. Rank bulls like Bones and Voodo Child would just snicker at you. And the cowboys would probably ride you all day. Face it, those bulls have it over you six ways to Sunday.I really expect more out of Texas than this. I expect to see a big scary bull, not this scrawny thing.(with apoligies to Matthew Gasteier)

Pop Quiz: The Georgia-Florida game

Pop Quiz: The Georgia-Florida game

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 29, 2009

Just a quick pop quiz before That Adult Beverage Tasting Event Impersonating a Football Game between the Florida Gators and That Team From Athens Impersonating a Football Team:1)After the game on Saturday Georgia will resemble:a)Hannibal Lecter's prison cell after his escape in Silence of the Lambs.b)Alderan after the Death Star attacked it in Star Wars.c)Apollo Creed after his fight with Ivan Drago in Rocky IV.2)After losing to Florida, Georgia fans will be calling for UGA defense coordinator Willie Martinez'sa)Jobb)Headc)Bloodd)Rear Ende)Wait, they're not doing that already?3)Urban Meyer and Tim Tebow's relationship most closely resembles:a)Mr. Miyagi and Daniel LaRoussob)Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalkerb)Batman and Robin (Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson)c)Batman and Robin (Bruce Wayne and Jason Todd)d)Batman and Robin (Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake)e)Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson and Damien Wayne) (Why does DC Comics have to pull this crap all the time?)f)we're not even going to go there, but...4)Joe Cox's nickname given to him by EDSBS isa)"The Ginger Ninja"b)"The Ginger Shogun"c)"The Ginger Geisha"5) Which song best describes the feeling the Jacksonville Jaguars get when watching the crowds at the "World's Largest Outdoor [CENSORED BY DR. MICHAEL ADAMS] Party" is"a)"Jealous", by Gene Loves Jezebelb)"Why Can't I Be You", by The Curec)"California Here I Come"d)"London Calling", by The Clash

Minor league hockey team looks

Minor league hockey team looks "Bad" honoring Michael Jackson

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 29, 2009

You could probably do an entire blog on the incredible lameness diversity of what can be done with a hockey jersey. Oh wait, there already is one...Icethetics. With everything you ever wanted to know about hockey jerseys, but didn't give a dern were afraid to ask.Well, according to them the Bakersfield Condors will be be holding a "King of Pop Night" on October 30th complete with Michael Jackson themed Jerseys. Here's a look at the jersey whether you like it or not:And yes, the players will be all be wearing one white glove.Oh wait, it gets even better. If you're name is either Michael Jackson or Billie Jean, you get in free. What, not love for the Bens or Dirty Dianas of the world?No word yet if the Condors plan to hold a Roman Polanski night, though. Hey, if you're honoring Jacko you might as well.(via Deadspin, Icethetics )

Real World/Road Rules: Okay, maybe this was better than a Bully Beatdown

Real World/Road Rules: Okay, maybe this was better than a Bully Beatdown

By Juan Cena in SWRT on October 29, 2009

No sooner than I suggest Real Road/Road Rules: The Ruins competitor Wes Bergmann go on Bully Beatdown then he gets eliminated from the show. By a wuss named Cohutta Grindstaff of all things. (And no, he's not a Hobbit.) Trust me, this guy is a bigger wuss than the entire Georgia defensive line. The agony and the irony are killing me here.

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