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Big Tentacles: Ron Zook, Michigan, and more

Big Tentacles: Ron Zook, Michigan, and more

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 5, 2010

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)      Does Ron Zook have a future as a guidance counselor? Judging how Zook  pinned Nebraska's Bo Pelini's coaching potential down as Ohio State secondary coach, he might. Which is good because he probably won't be coaching at Illinois after this season. (Corn Nation, Omaha World-Herald, ) Which Wolverines have the most to gain in fall practice? Sophomore quarterback Denard Robinson is the obvious choice, but four other players to look out for are sophomore defensive tackle Will Campbell, redshirt sophomore linebacker Kenny Demens, redshirt freshman offensive tackle Taylor Lewan, and redshirt freshman running back Fitzgerald Toussaint. (The Wolverine Blog) One from the vaults. NFL legend and Michigan alum Dan Dierdorf will be hosting Big Ten Film Vault, a thirteen week series which the Big Ten Network promises will present  "hours of rare and in some cases, never before seen footage of Big Ten coaches and players." And lots of Ro*Tel  commercials. (Orlando Sentinel) Well, somebody has to do it. Michigan State interested in having Northwestern as one of its division rivals. (Lansing State Journal)

ESPN 3D disses Hairy Dawg and Georgia

ESPN 3D disses Hairy Dawg and Georgia

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 5, 2010

Georgia fans should be happy that ESPN finally decides to pay attention to the Dawgs with one of their promos for ESPN 3D, but it comes off as more of a lovefest for Florida. The alleged Georgia fan should probably be happy that the search for UGA VIII is still going on. Otherwise, this promo could have ended up like the punch line of a certain classic Lewis Grizzard routine..."That dog would bite you!"

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Zach Mettenberger, Miami, Bear Bryant, Nick Saban, and more

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Zach Mettenberger, Miami, Bear Bryant, Nick Saban, and more

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 5, 2010

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)     Zach Mettenberger to go JUCO. The disgraced former Georgia quarterback will play for Butler Community College, located  in El Dorado, Kansas. Carry on, wayward Dawg.  (Wichita Eagle) Miami Hurricanes All Growed Up. Jacory Harris and the players that came to "The U" in 2008 are ready to show they're ready to take the Hurricanes to the next level. (ACC Sports Journal)  It may be too soon to mention Bear Bryant and Nick Saban in the same sentence, but... Roll 'Bama Roll compares the coaching philosophies of The Bear and Nick Saban. The section on conditioning is interesting enough to check out, as it shows how things have progressed from Bryant's near Junction Boys style weight room to Saban's  springtime "4th Quarter Program". (Roll 'Bama Roll) Jimbo Fisher plays the "mob" card. The FSU head coach tried to one-up Nick Saban and compared agents to the mob. Saban still wins, because calling them "pimps" is just funnier. (In the Bleachers) South Carolina's Stephen Garcia the best quarterback in the SEC East. Because Tony Barnhart says so. He ranks the other QB's too. (Mr. College Football) Mike Slive: the epic interview, Part II. Continuing Clay Travis' interview with the SEC Commissioner. (Fanhouse)

Big Tentacles: Ricky Stanzi, Michigan State, Michigan and more.

Big Tentacles: Ricky Stanzi, Michigan State, Michigan and more.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 4, 2010

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)   Sparty pushing Bucky Badger on a luggage cart? Sparty pushing Bucky Badger on a luggage cart. Hopefully it's into traffic. But that probably won't kill the creature that haunts my nightmares. (11 Warriors) Big Ten looks at a nine-game in-conference schedule. Meaning that teams would play their six division rivals, and three teams from the rival division. But it wouldn't start until 2015, so that conference teams could fulfill  commitments on their out-of-conference schedules. (The Rivalry, Esq.) More Proof that Stanzi is the Manzi. A poll of 11 Big Ten players  selected Iowa's Ricky Stanzi as the Big Ten's best quarterback. Ohio State's Terrelle Pryor, Wisconsin's Scott Tolzien, and Minnesota's Adam Weber tied for second place. (Sporting News) Chris Allen no longer a Spartan. The Michigan State guard has left the team after being in what head basketball coach Tom Izzo refered to as "a tenuous position since the spring." (The Only Colors) A future at Michigan for Les Miles not looking good. Les Miles chances of getting the job of  Michigan head football coach when Rich Rodriguez finally gets the ax are getting slimmer and slimmer. Blame it on the mess-up with oversigning recruits at LSU. (MGoBlog)

Charlie Weis ridin' dirty at Kansas City Chiefs training camp.

Charlie Weis ridin' dirty at Kansas City Chiefs training camp.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 4, 2010

This is how Charlie Weis is getting around at Kansas City Chiefs training camp while recovering from knee surgery. Ryan Mallett only wishes  he was ridin' dirty like Weis. Actually the whole knee surgery is a ruse. Weis actually hast all his money stashed in that knee brace. He's trying to protect it from the Ice Cream Phantoms. And don't laugh now, but Weis was able to beat Albert Haynesworth's conditioning drill time in that chair. What's worse, Weis passed it. (via Deadspin)

Ryan Howard lawn gnome? Ryan Howard lawn gnome.

Ryan Howard lawn gnome? Ryan Howard lawn gnome.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 4, 2010

Do you know what's sadder than a Ryan Howard lawn gnome? The sad and pathetic journey to a minor league Reading Phillies game in an attempt to obtain one of these little gems. Click upon this link, ye mighty, and despair. (610 WIP,  The Slanch Report)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: LSU vs. Oregon in 2011,

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: LSU vs. Oregon in 2011,

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 4, 2010

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)    LSU vs. Oregon at Jerryworld?  Reports say that the Bayou Bengals will open the 2011 season going head-to-head against  the Ducks in The Heathen Temple of Jerry Jones' Avarice Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas. Made possible by Kansas State pulling the plug on facing Oregon next year. (The Oregorian) Alleged Vol Brawl participants reinstated at Tennessee. Derek Dooley has reinstated players Greg King and Marlon Walls, who were arrested after the infamous Vol Brawl at Bar Knoxville. And just in time for practice, too. (Team Speed Kills) Should Maryland vs. Navy be an annual in-state rivarly game?  Ralph Friedgen thinks so. Navy head coach Ken Niumatalolo thinks so too. The fact that the two Old Line State schools have only met twice since 1966 is a little surprising. (Testudo Times) Roll film Tide! ESPN filming Alabama football practice this week for Alabama All-Access, a special scheduled to debut August 18 on ESPNU, and excerpted ad nauseum on Sportscenter. (Digital Sports Daily) Mike Slive is "The Most Powerful Man in College Athletics." Because Clay Travis said so. The first of an epic four-part interview. (Fanhouse) Tony Barnhart ranks SEC West QB's. Uninspiringly, Barnhart ranks Arkansas' Ryan Mallett at the top of the list over Alabama's Greg McElroy. Sorry, Tony.  McElroy's the one who gets the scoreboard over here. Mallett gets nothing but pain. (Mr. College Football) A party school with a football problem. Dawg Sports salutes UGA's ranking as America's #1 party school by comparing previous year' rankings to where the Dawgs' finished in the polls. Only in the Bulldog Nation would something like this happen. This "party school" title isn't quite the thing you want to embrace, y'know. (Dawg Sports)

Twelve Angry Programs: Big 12 news and notes

Twelve Angry Programs: Big 12 news and notes

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 4, 2010

(Twelve Angry Programs is SWRT's look at the Big 12, a conference where nobody can really seem to get along with each other. ) Longhorns vs. Leprechauns? Texas is reportedly close to a four game deal with Notre Dame to start in 2015. There's an argument to be made that this series will end up as a hubris factory like no other. (Austin American-Statesman) "Ten Truths about the Big 12." Most of which can't be said to be very positive. (FoxSports Southwest) More Kansas basketball than you can handle. Kansas will have 31 games nationally broadcast in the 2010-2011 season. (Rock Chalk Talk) Is Oklahoma the new Penn State? With a bushel of linebackers, Oklahoma might be giving Penn St. a run for the title of "Linebacker U." Which would possibly make Bob Stoops the new Joe Paterno. Which would mean that OU's going to be stuck with Stoops for another thirty years. (Bleacher Report) The Kansas State viewpoint of the Derek Dooley-Bryce Brown feud. Which pretty much involved calling His Hairness  a women's hygiene product.  Very original. Just wait 'till Barbara Dooley hears about this. She won't get done 'till someone's mouth is washed out with soap. (Bring On The Cats)

Universities and Miley Cyrus don't mix. And UGA proves it.

Universities and Miley Cyrus don't mix. And UGA proves it.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 3, 2010

Memo to America's Institution's of Higher Education: Avoid Miley Cyrus at all costs! That goes double for "Party in the U.S.A."  While it's understandable colleges and universities would want to use the squeaky-clean image of Hannah Montana to represent their schools, the results can be less than appealing. Take for example this University of Georgia orientation video for incoming freshmen. The words "Epic Fail" barely begin to describe it.   Please. Kill. Me. Now.  First off, UGA might want to avoid anything with the words "party" in it right now. The school has a little bit of an image problem when it comes to that area. And that was before Damon Evans. Second,  college is the time where young men (and women, I guess) should stop being so interested in teenage girls. The only redeeming value to this experiment in lameness? Seeing a shot of Mark Richt trying to look tough with his best tough-guy pose. (Hmm, Richt does look like he's been working out there.) Besides, didn't UGA learn anything from Penn State? Apparently not. (via EDSBS)

Ohhhh! A quarterback controversy at Michigan!

Ohhhh! A quarterback controversy at Michigan!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 3, 2010

The words "quarterback controversy" may be the two sweetest words for a sports blogger. And oh by gosh by golly, there seems to be one at Michigan.  Wolverine senior cornerback Troy Woolfolk is dissing Tate Forcier's work ethic, while praising Forcier's backup from last year, Denard Robinson over him. That's never a good sign for team unity there. According to Woolfolk, Forcier has been skipping out on those infamous Michigan "voluntary" workouts, while Robinson has shown up consistently. And while Robinson was shaky as a passer last year, his passing is reportedly " greatly improved" and he is being seen as a leader on the team, where Forcier is reportedly seen as "diseased." Ouch. (via Detroit Free-Press, EDSBS)

The University of Iowa has an  overpopulation problem. Is Ricky Stanzi to blame?

The University of Iowa has an overpopulation problem. Is Ricky Stanzi to blame?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 3, 2010

The University of Iowa has a problem on its hands. This year's freshman class was bigger than the school had originally thought it would be. Now the administration is scrambling to find places for them to live, as well as trying to figure out how to fit them in to classes (trailers are too good for the Big Ten, apparently). School administrators credit Iowa's campaign to recruit  out-of-state and international students, and of course, the economy. But one would have to think that perhaps maybe, just maybe, this little moment may have had something to do with it: When you see greatness like this, is there any wonder why young America wouldn't flock to Iowa just hoping some of Ricky Stanzi's "Manziness" would rub off of them? (via Black Heart Gold Pants, New York Times) (postscript: The NYT had to correct it's piece because it referred to Iowa as the "Cyclones" instead of the Hawkeyes. Stupid Godless commie pinko liberal journalists.)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Mike Hamilton and Ralph Friedgen Hot Seat talk, Florida, Robbie Caldwell

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Mike Hamilton and Ralph Friedgen Hot Seat talk, Florida, Robbie Caldwell

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 3, 2010

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)    Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton on the Hot Seat? "If this football season sours, the posse isn’t coming for Derek Dooley. It’s coming for Hamilton," says ESPN's Ivan Maisel. (ESPN) I'm not saying Ralph Friedgen is on the Hot Seat, but...The season hasn't even started yet, and Testudo Times is looking at possible replacements for  Friedgen. Never a good sign. And yes, Mike Leach is on the list.  (Testudo Times) Houston Nutt is a dirty coach. Because Sports Illustrated's Stewart Mandell  says so. Yes, this is Jeremiah Masoli related. (Sports Illustrated) Oh no he's not! A defense of Houston Nutt by...well, go see for yourself. Just be warned that the words "Spencer Hall" are involved. (EDSBS) Going streaking at Boston College. Looking at the winning streaks Boston College has going into this season, and whether the Golden Eagles can keep them up. (BC Interruption)    Are these Florida's breakout players? Be on the lookout for Omarius Hines (WR), Jaye Howard (DT), and Jelani Jenkins (LB). (Orlando Sentinel) Wake Forest football talk. Looking at why Wake took a step or two back last year, and if the Demon Deacons can get back into going the right direction.  (Blogger So Dear) Robbie Caldwell is now Vanderbilt's official full-time coach. The school removed the "interim" from in front Robbie Caldwell's job title. Take that, Paul Finebaum!  (College Football Talk)

Brett Favre retiring?

Brett Favre retiring?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 3, 2010

Cue The Smiths:

Barbara Dooley is sneaking back into Tennessee. Don't tell Derek!

Barbara Dooley is sneaking back into Tennessee. Don't tell Derek!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 3, 2010

Pssst! Don't tell Derek Dooley, but mom Barbara Dooley is sneaking back into Tennessee for an appearance ar a Rotary benefit in Cleveland. This after His Hairness banned her from the state for "violating his media policies." (Meaning she talked too much.) Barbara, with husband Vince Dooley will be keynote speakers at the Bradley Sunrise Rotary Sunset Gala on August 7. The Saturday night event will include a meet-and greet with the couple for corporate sponsors, dinner and an auction of SEC memorabilia. Proceeds are going to the American Cancer Society, Angel Flight and Habitat for Humanity. No word if His Hairness will be showing up for the gala. Or if Barbara will be wearing her orange feather boa to the event. (via The Chattanoogan, Cleveland Banner)

What Passes for Life: Notre Dame and NBC, Texas A&M,

What Passes for Life: Notre Dame and NBC, Texas A&M,

By Juan Cena in SWRT on August 2, 2010

The Irish eyes aren't smiling at the Peacock Network. NBC names Boston College grad Mike Maylock to replace Pat Haden in the booth for Notre Dame football broadcasts. Domer reaction to a non-Domer getting the job is pretty much what you would expect. (Notre Dame Go Irish) What's next for Jon Jones? The MMA fighter who beat Vladimir Matyushenko in Sunday night's UFC on Versus 2 card would be willing go jump up to the heavyweight division to fight James Toney. (SB Nation) FOX starts its own country awards. No, I doubt the Dixie Chicks be asked to perform.  (TV Guide) Can Texas A&M make a comeback this year? Don't hold your breath. (Dr. Saturday)

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