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What Passes for...Mildew? Vol Brawl, Strikeforce, Vanilla Ice, and More

What Passes for...Mildew? Vol Brawl, Strikeforce, Vanilla Ice, and More

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 11, 2010

(Time for another "Covering Dixie Like Mildew"/"What Passes for Life" mash-up.) Vol Brawl fallout. A call for a change in the culture at Tennessee that's produced three high level incidents of run-ins with the law by members of the Tennessee Vols' football team. (Rocky Top Talk) Jacare Souza will fight Tim Kennedy for vacant Strikeforce Middleweight Belt. The two fighters will compete for the title vacated by Jake Shields on August 21 at Strikeforce "Houston." (Bloody Elbow)  The End of the Day for Spider-Man? The controversial "Brand New Day" storyline, which retconned Peter Parker's marriage to Mary Jane out of existence, is rumored to be ending with Amazing Spider-Man #647. The series has reportedly lost a third if its circulation since the storyline began. (The Outhouse) What could be lamer than Cavs' owner Dan Gilbert's comic sans "Open Letter to Fans?" This "Open Letter to Tech Football" parody. (From the Rumble Seat). Vanilla Ice to perform post-game concert for Tampa Bay Rays. I thought the Rays were trying to attract fans to home games, not repel them. (Big League Stew) Fun Ndamukong Suh fact of the day. "Suh's first name means "House of Spears" in the language of his (Cameroon-born) father's Ngema tribe." (Shutdown Corner)

Swiperboy's crew infiltrates Tennessee Football team.

Swiperboy's crew infiltrates Tennessee Football team.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 11, 2010

As if Derek Dooley didn't have enough trouble with the Vol Brawl, it looks like Swiperboy has recruited a member of  the Vols football team to be  one of his minions, Meet sophomore tight end Matt Wegzyn a.k.a DJ Wegz. Tennessee is Swiperboy's school. Derek Dooley only coaches the team.

Are Wade, Bosh, and LeBron the new nWo?

Are Wade, Bosh, and LeBron the new nWo?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 11, 2010

Yeah, somebody went there. LeBron's obviously Hollywood Hogan. But it's hard to tell if Wade is Kevin Nash and Chris Bosh is Scott Hall, or vice versa. Either way, let's hope one of them doesn't booze their career away like Scott  Hall has. (Thanks to Greg "Zechs" Novak for finding this)

Dawgageddon: Jackson and King arrested on alcohol-related charges

Dawgageddon: Jackson and King arrested on alcohol-related charges

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 10, 2010

Just when Dawg fans thought they could get a few laughs over the Vol Brawl, along comes some members of the football team getting arrested on alcohol-related charges. (So what else is new?) Dontavius Jackson (running back) and  Tavarres King (wide receiver) were pulled over by police Saturday morning. Jackson "was charged with six misdemeanors,  including driving under the influence of alcohol, leaving the scene of an accident and underage possession of alcohol,"  while King "was charged with underage possession of alcohol." No word if red panties were found in the vehicle. Mark Richt can't get a break, can he? (via Athens Banner-Herald)

Your Moment of Tebowness: Tebow gets his own limited-edition shoe

Your Moment of Tebowness: Tebow gets his own limited-edition shoe

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 10, 2010

(Your Moment of Tebowness is SWRT's recurring feature on the cultural phenomenon that is His Tebowness. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?) One of the perks of being an professional athlete is that you get a shoe deal. One of the perks of being a sports star is that you get your own shoe. Needless to say, It didn't take Nike long to both sign Tim Tebow to a deal, or to come out with a Tebow shoe. The EA Sports x Tim Tebow Trainer 1.2 is a limited edition shoe made in conjunction with the release of EA Sports NCAA Football 11 video game. It's obviously made in Florida colors of Blue and orange. Here Tebow accents it with a simple Nike shirt and a pair of grey Nike shorts. Maybe a little too casual, but this is an athletic shoe he's pimping. And wearing sneakers with a three-piece suit makes you a dork. The shoe is full of subtle and non-subtle Tebow and Florida references. It's made with a "blue synthetic nubuck and gator skin base." The left show is emblazoned with "PROMISE September 28, 2008," in reference to the now legendary "Promise" speech. The right shoe features the dates of Tebow's Heisman win, Florida's BCS titles, and His Tebowness' All-American Team honors. This is a limited edition shoe, and it's bound to go fast. (via Sole Collector)

It's the weekend...

It's the weekend...

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 10, 2010

Go take your Johnson out for a spin... (via Leather Helmet Blog)

Derek Dooley tweets on Vol Brawl

Derek Dooley tweets on Vol Brawl

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 10, 2010

It was a busy first day back from vacation for Derek Dooley. Coming back to deal with players getting arrested in a bar brawl involving an off duty police officer is never good. With Darren Myles dismissed from the team, and Marlon Walls  Greg King suspended indefinitely, Dooley made sure to show his team that he was in charge and that he was willing to lay down the law. Dooley posted this message on Twitter Friday night. "Tough day for the VOLS, but we will learn, grow, and never forget that playing and working for Tennessee is a privilege, not a right." Hopefully the rest of the team will learn that lesson. (via Go Vols Xtra)

What Passes for Life: LeBron James, Tom Izzo, UFC and more

What Passes for Life: LeBron James, Tom Izzo, UFC and more

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 9, 2010

LeBron James will wear number 6 with the  Miami Heat. So does this make Miami "The Village?" (Ball Don't Lie) The big winner in the LeBron sweepstakes is...Tom Izzo? By turning the Cleveland Cavaliers down, The Izzo may be the only person involved in this whole debacle that comes out smelling like a rose. (The Dagger) Double your Nogueira, double your fun. Twin brothers Antonio Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira will both fight on UFC 119 against Frank Mir and Ryan Bader respectively. (Cagewriter) X-Men: First Class cast. Includes James McAvoy playing Professor X,  Michael Fassbender as Magneto, and Alice Eve as Emma Frost. How faithful to the  earlier X-Men films, or the early Stan Lee and Jack Kirby issues of "The Strangest Super-Heroes of All!"(Ain't It Cool News) Cliff Lee to the Yankees Rangers.  Lee reportedly winds up in Texas when deal with the Yanks breaks down. (ESPN)

Death to the vuvuzela!

Death to the vuvuzela!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 9, 2010

What do Salman Rushdie and vuvuzelas have in common? They've both had fatwas declared on them. "A fatwa by the (United Arab Emirates') General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowments declares that the now-famous blast from the plastic vuvuzela is not permitted in the Gulf country if it exceeds 100 decibels — about the sound of a passing train. It says the typical vuvuzela blast is up to 127 decibels." Okay a fatwa declared by the UAE doesn't have the cache that a fatwah declared by the Ayatollah Khomeini does, but it sure is funny, at least in this case. And the vuvuzela deserves a fatwa more than Rushdie ever did for writing The Satanic Verses. (via AP, Gawker)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tennesse Vol Bar Brawl, Georgia, Jägermeister, and...Elvis

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tennesse Vol Bar Brawl, Georgia, Jägermeister, and...Elvis

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 9, 2010

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news)     The Tennessee Vol Brawl. The latest on the bar fight allegedly involving Da'Rick Rogers and 7-10 other members of the Volunteers' football team at a Knoxville bar that left an off-duty police officer in the hospital.  (Go Vols Xtra) Ole Miss defense compared to Jägermeister. (Insert drinking school with a football problem joke here) (Red Cup Rebellion) Would you trust this man to pick your daughter's husband? Or more importantly, your school's athletic director? Dawg Sports asks if UGA president Dr. Evil Michael Adams can be trusted to find the right person to find Damon Evans Replacement. (Dawg Sports) Schadeathfreude Valley. Clemson's "The Worst of the 2000's" list of worst Tiger beatings hits #7 and the 2004 loss to Georgia Tech. Losing to a Chan Gailey coached  GT team always means you suck. (Shakin the Southland) Spot the Nut(t) It's kind of hard to tell, isn't it? (Dr. Saturday)

Yanks' interest in Cliff Lee brings forth tired

Yanks' interest in Cliff Lee brings forth tired "Evil Empire" schitck

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 9, 2010

News of the New York Yankees' interest in the Seattle Mariners Cliff Lee came with little or no shock. It also came with the a slew of "Evil Empire" comments from Big League Stew's David Brown, with a slew of other Star Wars references thrown in. Yawn. The Yankee/"Evil Empire" cracks have really gotten old. Especially since George Steinbrenner seeded control of the team to sons Hank and Hal. Neither one of which seem to be in any hurry to become Palpatine II. The whole schitck was kicked off by the Boston Red Sox, who themselves have in many ways become Cybermen to the Yanks' Daleks. The real "Evil Empires" in the MLB are probably teams at or near the bottom like the Florida Marlins or  the Pittsburgh Pirates, who don't even try to win or break up teams at the first glimmer of success. Those "Welfare" teams that feed off the luxury tax money that's supposed to keep them competitive. (via Big League Stew)

Your Freudian Nightmare of the night. The Beach Boys posessed by an army of demons.

Your Freudian Nightmare of the night. The Beach Boys posessed by an army of demons.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 8, 2010

(Actually the music is by Ten Masked Men)

Obi Wan Kenobi reacts to LeBron's defection to Miami

Obi Wan Kenobi reacts to LeBron's defection to Miami

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 8, 2010

Funny, I always pegged Obi Wan as a Celtics fan for some reason.

Taking the Stance: Grading Christian Ponder's campaign site

Taking the Stance: Grading Christian Ponder's campaign site

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 8, 2010

With the 2010 college football season on the way, the campaigns for Heisman are bound to follow. FSU has already unleashed CP7 for Heisman, an interactive site that promotes Ponder as an student athlete and as a person. If the Heisman selection just depended on these websites, then Ponder would win. CP7 for Heisman is very impressive. It looks like what you would expect from a football program which has produced two Heisman winning quarterbacks. When you enter the site, you're welcomed to audio clips of FSU radio broadcasts featuring Ponder's touchdown performances, and the sounds of the Tomahawk chop in the background. (You are able to turn this feature off). The Media Gallery includes a welcome from Ponder,  along with photos, clips of game highlights,  interviews, and even golf course hi-jinks. There's also a wallpaper generator. This is what I came up with. There's even "CP7's Playlist," which links into iTunes where you can download Ponder's prefered tunes. Songs include selections from the Zac Brown Band, Kings of Leon, and Billy Joel. ("Piano Man," which brings up sad images of Joey Harrington. Maybe the site's only blunder) Overall, it's quite professional, interactive, and well done. CP7 for Heisman is the measuring stick what future Heisman online campaigns are going to be graded by. Grade: A

Get Georgia's next AD from...Georgia Tech?

Get Georgia's next AD from...Georgia Tech?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on July 8, 2010

Mark Bradley of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution says he's found "The ideal candidate to be Georgia's AD." "There’s this guy, OK?" he says. "He has been an athletics director at a BCS school for four years, OK? And he’s really good at his job, OK? And his football team just won its conference title and played in a BCS game, OK? And he has an SEC background, OK?" Sounds great who is it? Dan Radakovich, AD for Georgia Tech. Non-starter of the decade. Even if some Georgia fans would jump at trying to get Radakovich to defect to the Bulldog Nation, it isn't going to happen. This is what passes for sports journalism in Atlanta now. This is why circulation for the AJC has gone down the tubes. Things have gotten so bad the paper is ditching their offices for an abandoned Macy's distribution center for crying out loud. What a disgrace.

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