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Chipper Jones does his own Texas two-step on retirement.

Chipper Jones does his own Texas two-step on retirement.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 15, 2010

Chipper Jones owns a ranch in Texas. Which somehow makes perfect sense considering the on and off-again announcement of his retirement at the end of the Braves' 2010 season. What he essentially did today was what Texas has been doing for the past week or so. While Jones' decision didn't involve the kind of massive upheaval to keep him from making an announcement today, it does leave the door open for a minor drama point for the Braves as a post-Bobby Cox era looms.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Your Moment of Tebowness: Video evidence of Gators becomming Bronco fans

Your Moment of Tebowness: Video evidence of Gators becomming Bronco fans

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 15, 2010

(Your Moment of Tebowness is SWRT's recurring feature on the cultural phenomenon that is His Tebowness. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?)WUFT, a PBS station owned by the University of Florida took a look at how Gator fans are starting to root for Denver now that His Tebowness is a Bronco. And yes, there's a mention of that pesky Broncogator thing.

Big 12 names new official conference song in honor of reconciliation with Texas:

Big 12 names new official conference song in honor of reconciliation with Texas:

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 15, 2010

Everyone but Texas, that is.(And you only thought it was a commercial jingle.)

Winners and losers in the Big 12 game of chicken

Winners and losers in the Big 12 game of chicken

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 15, 2010

The Winner: Texas. Hands down, Texas wins the huge game of chicken that the Big 12's meltdown and subsequent rescue has turned out to be. It gets the chance to have its own network, it keeps the rivalry with Texas A&M (which won't be bolting for the SEC), and it pretty much solidifies itself as the true power in the Big 12.The Loser: Pretty much everybody else. But more specifically:Dan Bebe. Even in saving the Big 12 (for now), his reputation has gone through the ringer. He has pretty much become the Brad Childress to Texas' Brett Favre. And if he can't back up his promises, all he's done is postpone the inevitable. Bebe pretty much need to just go find a tattoo parlor and get "Property of the University of Texas" tattooed on his rear end. Or maybe his forehead. It might even be more appropriate.The rest of the remaining Big 12 schools. They've pretty much become subservient to Texas in how the conference is run. They might as well add "UT" in front of their names (UT Oklahoma, UT Kansas, UT Texas Tech, etc.) Nebraska and Colorado will be lucky they got out when they did. Unless they end up deciding to come back to the Big 12 and take their place at the kiddie table with the rest of the gang.The Pac-10. So much for the mega-conference. Guess it'll have to be satisfied with Colorado and whatever morsels it can raid from the WAC and Mountain West. Speaking of which.The Mountain West Conference. The chance to pick up the the remaining Big 12 North schools is gone. Worse, the Pac-10 will probably come looking for Utah. Meaning even after scoring Boise St., the MWC will probably end up back at square one in trying to get that elusive automatic BCS bid.The SEC. It doesn't get Texas A&M. Oh wait, that actually is a win. No worries about an odd number of teams or having to possible realign the conference divisions. And no having to deal with a train wreck of a program that's third or fourth best in its state. Speaking of which...Texas A&M. Maybe it is appropriate that the Aggies' mascot is a female collie. Because now and forever, they're Texas' you-know-what.

What Passes for Life: Almost expansion free edition

What Passes for Life: Almost expansion free edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 14, 2010

(What Passes for Life is SWRT's collection of sports and non sports related links and hi-jinks.)Boston is the Bros capital of the world. A collection of Bros attending Game 5 of the NBA Finals in Boston. So which of of these bros is Tommy Boy, and which one is Sully? (Ball Don't Lie)Clash of the Big 12 reporting Titans. The "tale of the tape" between ESPN legend Joe Schad and hot internet sensation Chip Brown. (EDSBS)This may be a first in Reality TV. A couple of high-school track team members have a rock band named after Real World Brooklyn cast member and Iraq veteran Ryan Conklin. (Mansfield News Journal)(And if you haven't checked out Conklin's book on his first tour of duty in Iraq, An Angel from Hell, go ahead and do so. It's highly recommended.)USC compared to Enron. (Dr. Saturday)Fight week. Events from Strikeforce, Belator and the UFC's Ultimate Fighter Finale, are part of a five-day stretch of MMA on television stretching from Wednesday to Sunday (with an off-day Friday). (Cagewriter)More proof that Strasburgmania is getting out of hand. Strasberg merchandise was being sold in Cleveland at Progressive Field. And fans were buying it up. Nice fans you've got there, Cleveland. (The Sporting Blog)

Dan Bebe puts Texas in the Big 12 driver's seat.

Dan Bebe puts Texas in the Big 12 driver's seat.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 14, 2010

The best description for the Big 12 may have come from Black Heart Gold Pants, which compares the conference's status to Schrodinger's Cat. It may still exist and it may not. What is known is that if Texas decides to leave, most of the conference goes with it. Dan Bebe may have found a way to stop the Longhorns and co. from bolting, and preserving Big 12 its now 10-member configuration. But it pretty much its two-parts admission of the control Texas has in the conference, and one part terms of surrender.Either way the mass exodus of teams west (possibly south, in Texas A&M's case) looks to be on hold. Bebe's plan for a Big 12 Network that would allow Texas to start its own network looks to be the linchpin of the deal. It also does nothing to equalize the issues with the disparity of revenue sharing in the conference.Bebe has all but given Texas the keys to the conference. The deal does everything but move the Big 12's offices into a stall in the barn next to Bevo. And that may be happening sooner or later.(via Black Heart Gold Pants, ESPN, Orangebloods)

Shirts Without Random Triangles; Yep, there's a Texas A&M  SEC shirt

Shirts Without Random Triangles; Yep, there's a Texas A&M SEC shirt

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 14, 2010

I haven't been able to track the source down on this shirt, but it's been seen on several sites, like EDSBS, Roll 'Bama Roll, and I Am the 12th Man. It's not surprising that a shirt like this has shown up, just how lame it is.(via EDSBS, and just about everywhere else.)

The NCAA needs to ban the vuvuzela NOW!

The NCAA needs to ban the vuvuzela NOW!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 14, 2010

The vuvuzela has very quickly jumped over Fran Drescher's voice as the most annoying sound in the world. Made popular by South African soccer fans, the plastic horn has made watching the World Cup almost unbearable by some people.Now comes word that could possibly cause the vuvuzela to cross over into mainstream sports culture. And guess which NCAA basketball team's fanbase might be responsible for it? As this tweet from the website Duke Blue Planet would suggest, there are already plans to bring it to the states."What would happen if the Cameron Crazies frequently used vuvuzelas?"The NCAA needs to step in now to ban the vuvuzela. In the hands of Duke fans it could be as lethal as an nuclear weapon. More dangerous than a Dookie wearing a speedo even.(via Duke Blue Planet's Twitter)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Expansion dominated edition

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Expansion dominated edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 14, 2010

Texas A&M is still not in the SEC. But it looks more like it could happen. (Dr. Saturday)The SEC needs Oklahoma. Not really, it just falls in the "keeping up with the Joneses category. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)Today's best argument for Texas A&M not to be in the SEC. TAMU may only be a little better than South Carolina when it comes to gridiron success. By that reasoning Wake Forest should be in the SEC. (Dawg Sports)Why not Houston? An argument for Houston joining the SEC. One that has a lack of substantive positives that Houston could bring to the table, but a lot of possibilities. (Team Speed Kills)

What's wrong with this picture?

What's wrong with this picture?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 14, 2010

There are members of three professional sports teams from Chicago. With them is the Stanley Cup, which was won by one of those teams, who were being honored at Wrigley Field Sunday night. There is one team in this picture that is not like the other two teams. Which of these three team does not belong in this picture?(hint: It's the one that hasn't won a championship in this century. Heck, it's the one that hasn't won a championship in over a century, period.)(via ESPN)

Top ten reasons why Texas A&M shouldn't be allowed to join the SEC.

Top ten reasons why Texas A&M shouldn't be allowed to join the SEC.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 13, 2010

Even though Big 12 Commissioner Mike Bebe is making a latch-ditch plea to keep the conference together, it looks like Texas and most of the Big 12 South will go join the Pac-10. Texas A&M, however, is still looking at joining the SEC. And the SEC is actually considering it, for some gosh-awful reason.Why is this such a bad idea? Just take a look.10. Texas A&M is the fourth best football team in Texas. The state of Texas has fielded three teams that went to the BCS is the past two years. The Aggies weren't one of them.9. Texas barely counts as the South. Sure, Texas was in the Confederacy. But I don't recall hearing about Sherman marching through Dallas. (Yeah, there was Galveston. It doesn't really count as driving Old Dixie down.)8. This tweet from Dr. Saturday's Matt Hinton:"Scanning photo wires for last post reminds me again that Texas A&M leads the nation by far in homoerotic rituals." 7. The Aggies lost the 2009 Independence Bowl to the worst Georgia team since Ray Goff was coach. And at 6-6, they barely qualified for it in the first place.6. The Aggies don't have cheerleaders, they have Yell Leaders.I'm beginning to think Matt Hinton was right.5. TAMU had to bail out the $16 million in-the-hole athletic department. In contrast, the Georgia athletic department gave the school $2 million of its $7 million dollar surplus this year to help overcome budget shortfalls.4. Reveille, the Texas A&M mascot.Seriously? A collie? And a female collie if that? Imagine what would happen if she and UGA got loose at the same game at the same time. Think of what the puppies would look like.3. Texas Governor Rick Perry is a Texas A&M graduate. 'Nuff said.2. The Texas A&M Corps of Cadets. There's nothing like an ROTC program transformed into a full-fledged Freudian Nightmare.1. The SEC already has two teams where Bear Bryant was head coach (Kentucky and Alabama). That's more than enough.(Rivals.com, Orangebloods, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

What Passes for Life: 6/12/10

What Passes for Life: 6/12/10

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 12, 2010

Where will the Big Ten championship be held? A sampling of the possible sites. (Dr. Saturday)AP will not re-vote on USC's 2004 National Championship. Deal with it, Auburn. But do you blame them after how that Brian Cushing re-vote went? (al.com)Question of the day. "Whose haircut is worse Jeff Reed or Mel Kiper Jr?" (Yahoo! Answers)

TCU not open to Baylor in the Mountain West Conference

TCU not open to Baylor in the Mountain West Conference

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 12, 2010

The Mountain West Conference may be open to letting the leftover Big 12 schools join the conference, but one school probably won't feel too welcome. TCU reportedly doesn't want Baylor to join the MWC. This may go back to ill feelings over how the Bears got into the Big 12 while the Horned Frogs got left out in the cold. So much for those Texas schools sticking together.(via SportDayDFW)

Your  Ricky Stanzi

Your Ricky Stanzi "America, love it or leave it!" moment of the day

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 12, 2010

(In honor of Iowa mega-patriot Ricky Stanzi, SWRT presents this moment of what makes America great.)Back in 1986, in the short-lived UWF, there was a dirty commie Russian wrestler named Kortsia Korchenko was pulling the dirty commie stunt of covering his defeated opponents with the flag of the USSR. UWF Commissioner Cowboy Bill Watts finally got fed up with the vulgar display and went down to the ring to confront Korchenko and his dirty traitor manager "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert. The other members of Gilbert's stable, the Blade Runners (Sting and Rock aka the future Ultimate Warrior) came down to the ring. Then Steve "Dr. Death" Williams came down to protect Watts' back. Fun ensues.

Expansion madness: The SEC should be American Idol, not The Celebrity Apprentice

Expansion madness: The SEC should be American Idol, not The Celebrity Apprentice

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 11, 2010

While Texas A&M's fellow Big 12 South schools are heading out west towards the Pac-10, the Aggies seem to be more interested looking eastward at the SEC. Although chances are that it will eventually end up dragging its tail behind Texas to the Pac-10 (as usual). This does show the dilemma the SEC faces in which direction in this chaotic era of conference expansion and collapse.Expansion for the SEC would truly mean expansion for expansion's sake, and not for any pressing need to fill a glaring hole or two. It has a championship game and an automatic BCS berth, so there are no pressing needs other than for increasing revenue. The needs for the SEC to expand seem to fall on mere keeping up with the Joneses than it does with any particular fiscal or structural need.In the current twelve member configuration the SEC may be almost perfect. The SEC contains almost every significant historical college football program in the South, with maybe two or three exceptions (Georgia Tech, Clemson, and FSU, if they must be named). Baring those schools and few nouveau riché programs (Miami, Virginia Tech), there aren't any true major programs in the South who aren't already in the SEC. (Mention Virginia and Maryland and if you want to hear a chuckle.)Going after any one of those schools might be worth it for the SEC for the sake of appearances, but it doesn't do much for the conference in any reasonable fashion. With the possible exception of Virginia, none of those schools really expand the SEC anywhere that is not already in the conference's reach. Adding Miami or FSU could possibly hurt Florida in some areas when it comes to recruiting, in fact.The Aggies' desire for a spot in the SEC seems to come more from financial need and a desire for a more equitable system of revenue sharing than anything. The athletic program reportedly had to be bailed out by the school due to being $16 million in debt. (Compare this to Georgia, where the athletic department pledged the school $2 million from it's surplus this year to compensate for the school's financial issues.) Texas A&M joining the SEC would be less of a marriage of connivance, and more the government bailout of GM.Texas A&M would give the SEC a foothold in the Texas market, but not much of one. What's worse, Texas A&M might be closer to being the fourth-best team in Texas than even being the second-best, behind Texas Tech and TCU. (If you have to ask who's first, you should probably just quit reading right now.)With expansion, he SEC go into one of two directions. It could be like American Idol, going after a school with an up and coming football program, or it could be The Celebrity Apprentice, with it's batch of b-list has-beens. Texas A&M falls into the Celebrity Apprentice category. It's more Brett Michaels than Carrie Underwood.What might be best for the SEC when it comes to expansion is to go after smaller, up and coming programs. It might be better for the SEC to go after programs that are young and hungry and wanting to prove its place in the world, as opposed to established and needy, like Texas A&M and the rest of the crumbs of the Big 12.There are a couple of schools like that which could fill the SEC's needs. In Texas, there's TCU. Like Texas, it went to the BCS last year. It's a rising star in the Lone Star State, and is on the move. So is SMU, which under June Jones may be on the way from finally getting under the shadow of getting the NCAA Death Penalty. Both are in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Area, which is a bigger market than College Station can give the SEC. Plus there's the always the chance of getting to use Jerry Jones' Heathen Temple to His Own Avarice Cowboys Stadium for when Florida or Alabama comes to town.To balance it out in the east, The SEC could go for East Carolina, which would be a foothold in the North Carolina market, and more plausible than trying to raid one of the ACC's Carolina schools. That or just raid Clemson (which honestly most SEC fans would prefer to just about anything) and let the ACC have the NC monopoly.Or, if its absolutely positively necessary to add another Florida school, the SEC should look at the University of South Florida. It's small enough that it wouldn't bite into Florida's recruiting, and it would give the SEC a foothold in South Florida. Miami might look enticing, but "The U" has the problem of tripping over itself. And if really hasn't helped the ACC any.Texas A&M may look good on the surface, but its pretty much a whitewashed tomb of a program. Most of the bigger established programs the SEC would have a decent chance of raiding are just like it. The SEC might just be better off getting a school with a smaller but growing football program it can help grow, instead of an older model with a habit of breaking down.(via Dr. Saturday, Sports Day DFW, Orangebloods, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

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