(What Passes for Life is SWRT's collection of sports and non sports related links and hi-jinks.)The Most Interesting Man in the World...(Of Hawkeye football). Yep, it's more fun with America's quarterback Ricky Stanzi. Remember, Ricky Stanzi is America, and you can too.How interesting is Ricki Stanzi? He once killed a bear with a spork. (Black Heart Gold Pants)Jaws is alive! A metal shark created for Universal Studios cast from the original mold used from the film has been rediscovered. (Yahoo! Movies)M*E*T*S. Oliver Perez goes to the DL with a knee injury. Fellow Mets silently cheer the move. (Hardball Talk)Sam Bradford hasn't made it to Rams' first team yet. Somewhere in Colorado, Bronco's third string QB Tim Tebow is saying "Ha Ha!" (Pro Football Talk)List of the Day: "The Best and Worst Hollywood Vampires." Guess where Twilight ranks. Though Love at First Bite doesn't get a mention and it's awesome (if only for Dracula in a disco. Dancing to "I Love the Nightlife." (UPROXX)Quote of the day. "South Carolina is the Orient of the South. The people eat rice and worship their ancestors." (Leather Helmet Blog)Song that makes me want to throw Drew Magary through a brick wall. "Mongoose" by Elephant's Memory. The band backed up John Lennon on the Some Time in New York City album. "Mongoose" predates this by several years, and is just an awesome trippy song.
Colorado Rockies' shortstop Troy Tulowitzki comes to the place with Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A." blaring. And now he looks like her father, Billy Ray. Mullet fans rejoice, because Tulowitzki is sporting the hairstyle Jared Allen gave up for marriage (for now). And he's doing it for the kids.Tulowitzki is growing the hockey hair in support of the Rockies' "Wins for Kids" charitable campaign that helps out Colorado Special Olympics and The Children's Hospital of Denver. As long has fans donate the cash, he grows the mullet out.(via Walkoff Walk)
First the expansion silliness infecting the blogosphere pelted the internet with mindless speculation. Then came tiny fragments of truth, And now? What passes for humor on the internet.The Michigan blog Maize n Brew presents the Big 12 as the cheerleading squad at College Football High School, complete with bickering, infighting, and loads of the kind of behaviors parents don't their children involved in.Of course the main gist of the exploration of silliness is that certain Big 12 cheerleaders being asked out by the Pac 10. Six of the girls teams get asked, but the rest don't. Mindless but funny high school humor ensues. (And a lot of not Sunday School approved language, so be warned.)Of course if you wanted to take the high school analogy further, the Big 12 cheerleaders probably wouldn't be that crazy about the Pac-10 in real life. That's because the Pac-10 is more like the Glee Club. And even though Glee is the hot show on TV, deep inside you'd be worried if your kid were part of it. The Big East is of course the basketball squad. The Big 10 is lime student government, who all like to pretend they run the place. Who really does run the place? The SEC. They're the football team.(Maize n Brew, via Black Heart Gold Pants)
Ken Shamrock a.k.a. "The World's Most Dangerous Man" wants up to beat up his adopted brother Frank. This apparently has to do with Frank's treatment of their late adoptive father.A fight between Ken and Frank Shamrock probably sounds better than it actually would be in real life (like most UFC PPV headline fights lately). Still, a season of The Ultimate Fighter with these two as coaches might be interesting. How about it, Dana? (via MMA Fighter Videos)
(Your Moment of Tebowness is SWRT's recurring feature on the cultural phenomenon that is His Tebowness. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?)Mark your calendars for September 9, and get your groove on. The creators of the Broncogator apparel line are planning what they refer to as "the world's second largest cocktail party" when Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos come to Jacksonville to face the lowly Jaguars on the first week of the NFL's 2010 season. (The first one in that category would be that Georgia-Florida game that Dr. Evil Michael Adams doesn't like referred to by that name).Obviously the idea of a cocktail party in honor of His Tebowness speaks of great irony, due to his Christian background. But Broncogator creator Ed Marlow puts the celebration in some context. "Knowing Tim, I doubt that'd be something he'd participate in," Marlow said of Tebow's strict Christian beliefs.. "But I've heard of virgin cocktails, which are alcohol free."In that case maybe Marlow can get Dr. Evil to show up.(via Click Orlando)In other Tebow-related news. Denver has released QB Tom Brandstater, which officially makes Tebow the Broncos' number three QB, behind Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn. (Denver Post)Tebow and McDaniels getting shaggy. Both Tebow and Bronco's coach Josh McDaniels are both sporting beards. McDaniels claims it as an "OTA beard," while Tebow puts the blame on "laziness." If they start dressing alike, be afraid. (PostBroncos twitter)
GQ's 50 Coolest Men in the World. Most of whom are so cool that you've never even heard of them. Prince Harry is number one. Dude served in Afghanistan, so I won't argue with it. (Your Hollywood Gossip, via Kissing Suzy Kolber)Tom Brady is 23rd on the same list. And KSK doesn't even top to think to remind readers of that one pic Brady probably wishes he hadn't agreed to:(Kissing Suzy Kolber)Stupid stunt of the day. Strasburg, Va. may change its name to Stephen Strausburg. (Big League Stew) Fedor Emelianenko entering Russian politics? Emelianenko is among a list of possible candidates in the Russian version of congress by United Russia, the ruling party in the Russian government. (Bloody Elbow)Jonathan Crompton now the world's most valuable catfish. The former Tennessee Volunteer quarterback signs a reported four-year $2.68 million deal with the San Diego Chargers. That's a lot of miney for holding Philip Rivers' clipboard. (Go Vols Xtra, via Rocky Top Talk)Heidi Klum vs. Brooklyn Decker for Esquire "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament final. This is still going on? I stopped caring after Lane Kiffin and Olivia Munn got knocked out. (Esquire)
A month after appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair with Christiano Ronaldo, it appears that Didier Drogba's run in the World Cup might be over before it even started. Drogba was injured in a friendly game between the Ivory Coast and Japan. He collided with Japanese player Tulio Tanaka fifteen minutes into the game. Drogba is reported to have a fractured elbow.This does bring up a serious question of whether appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair is a curse on the level the dreaded Sports Illustrated cover curse. It's something for athletes to think about the next time Annie Leibovitz wants to photograph them in their underpants.(UPDATE:) The latest report that Drogba's elbow is only "dislocated," so there might be a chance he makes it to the World Cup.(Yahoo! Sports, Dirty Tackle)
Death Valley dismissal. Clemson has dismissed Jamie Crumble after the defensive lineman was arrested on May 28 for assault. (Dr. Saturday)Expansion silliness. A call for the SEC to go after Texas A&M rather than Texas by an LSU blog. Mike the Tiger wants a new mouse to play with, it would seem. (And the Valley Shook)North Carolina the most profitable ACC basketball program. Plus a look at the rest of the ACC. (BC Interruption)We will have no UGA before its time. Georgia fans will have to wait for UGA VIII to make his debut. Keeper of the UGA dynasty Sonny Seiler is still looking at possible candidates, all of which are still too young to be ready to roam between the Hedges. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)Still more Tennessee schadenfreude. "20 Losses in 20 Years" hits the "top" 5 with a look at the Vols' 2000 loss to Florida. (Rocky Top Talk)Reason why fake Ryan Mallett is even better than the real thing. "Been watching Family Guy episodes on my IPOD Mini. Yo, my IPOD is navy blue from my Michichan days. Don't tell Bobby P!" (SummerofMallett)
Is the Big 12 still around? At the moment the conference seems to be like Schreodinger's conference, being alive and dead at the same time. (Dr. Saturday)Or, for an another analogy the Big 12 compared to the Austrio-Hungarian Empire. Which in some ways may not be too far off, both in structure and in impact on the conference map. (Leather Helmet Blog)Meanwhile, in an undisclosed hidden bunker somewhere in Destin, Fla., the SEC watches and waits. And admits that they will be talking about expansion in the wake of recent events. (Team Speed Kills)
Arrgh! Now this is how you raid a conference. At least if the rumor is true. The Pac-10 is reportedly going to send out invites to half the Big 12 to join their motley crew. The lucky scurvy varmints in the Pac-10's sight are reportedly Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Colorado. This is according to a blogger with "multiple sources."Mind you, the SWRT philosophy in these matters is that "the voices in your head don't count as reliable sources." And that wild story about the Big 10's reported invite list went down like the proverbial lead balloon. So keep that thought in mind as you read it.If true, however, the Pac-12 would pretty much swipe the entire Big-12 South Division (sans Baylor). And with Nebraska, Missouri, and Kansas reportedly looking at the Big 10, the conference would be pretty much toast. It's doubtful that the Big 12 could survive bringing in smaller schools like Houston or TCU.The only monkey wrench in the scheme might be Texas A&M might be more inclined to join the SEC. And Oklahoma might be more inclined to do so. (If the Sooners could figure out how to keep Oklahoma State and Texas on the schedule, my guess is they probably would.) That still would leave the Pac-12 with four new partners. Enough for two eight team divisions. The only drawback would be the need for add four teams from the current Pac-10 makeup to the four Big-12 teams.Arizona and Arizona State would be obvious choices for that division, but it would still need two West Coast teams. That would probably mean USC and UCLA. Add in at least two inter-divisional games and there would probably mean the Big 12 schools would have to make three or four trips to the West Coast per year. And even with predicted higher revenues, that does get expensive.The story seems to have enough legs on it to keep an eye on it, with the Pac-12 schools meeting this weekend the first real shot in the college football realignment revolution might be sooner than expected. Then again it might not.(via Orangebloods)
Sick of it all. (Cue The Primitives) I'm already tired of the Armando Galarraga Jim Joyce debacle. Don't hold your breath about Bud Selig stepping in to do anything about it.Foxborough, we have a problem. Tom Brady and the New England Patriots are having issues with coming to terms on a new contract. (Yahoo! Sports)Meet Captain America. This is what the movie version of Captain America will look like.A little more practical maybe than the original comic book version. But it looks funny without tha wings on the head. And all the brown takes away from the red, white and blue imagery. (The Outhouse)
There are many attributes of Derek Dooley which have aided him in his quest to win over Tennessee fans hardened over the Lane Kiffin debacle. He total professionalism. His ability to get along with others (Bryce Brown notwithstanding). And most importantly, his hair.Derek Dooley's hair has taken a life of its own. It's been analyzed by experts. It's been placed among the greatest fashion and physical attributes of the greatest of coaches. It has been featured prominently in creeds of fealty to Dooley. There are even places on the internet that allow you to look like him.With this in mind, someone at some point or another would have to ask Dooley about his celebrated mane. That someone happened to be Clay Travis of 104.5 The Zone in Nashville. Dooley's response?Derek Dooley: You know, it's amazing. Some people are worried about what offense we're gonna run, other people's worrying about how multiple we are on defense. You guys are worried about my hair. . . . I will say this: I've had the same haircut since I was 12 years old. Okay, so do the math. That's 30 years of the exact same haircut. At some point your hair finally concedes and says, "I'm gonna just do what the heck you want me to do, and I'm not gonna fight it anymore." And so everybody has their hair fighting them all the time because they don't train it and do it consistently over time, all right? It's no different than training a team. You do it over, and you do it over, and you do it over, and you don't deviate from the plan, and you bring it across and you shape it down, and then eventually they do it how you want it. And then once my hair said, "Okay, I'll do it how you want it," I haven't changed. Why change?The fact that Dooley hasn't changed his hairstyle since his youth puts him in a league with another Vols legend.Tennessee fans love Derek Dooley's hair. Don't get used to it, though. Because this is what his daddy Vince looks like:Gaze upon the future of Derek Dooley's hair, Vols fans, and weep.(apologies to Warren Zevon for the headline)(via Rocky Top Talk)
Here's another of those murals ESPN commissioned for the 2010 World Cup. This one featuring England.The '66 Wayne Rooney and friends are hauling refers to 1966, the last time England won the World Cup. It was also the last time England was actually relevant in the world. Okay, that's exaggerating just a little bit. It's more like 1987 (when The Smiths broke up).While England may be feeling the weight dragging the Ghost of '66 around, it had better be ready to face the Spirit of '76:Speaking of England's 1966 World Cup victory, here is a link to said victory against West Germany... recreated in Legos.(via World Cup Buzz, Deadspin)
Braves sweep the Phillies. The Braves beat the Phillies 2-1 in afternoon play, sweeping the reigning NL champions. (ESPN)Mark McGwire and wife the parents of triplets. Somebody must have been taking those fertility drugs Manny Ramirez was taking last year. (Big League Stew)Las Vegas to host the Lingerie Bowl. Sin City will be the permanent home for the alternative to the Super Bowl halftime show. In addition, Vegas will also be getting a Lingerie Foolball League franchise. It it's not called the Las Vegas Strip, then somethings wrong. (Las Vegas Review-Journal, via Get the Picture)Kobe Bryant is not better than Michael Jordan. Because Jay Mariotti said so. (Fanhouse)Josh Holloway in The Avengers? Reports are that Lost's Josh Holloway (Sawyer) is in talks with Marvel Studios "to play a "lead" role in an upcoming Marvel film" Internet speculation/ is that Holloway might play Hawkeye in The Avengers movie that Marvel has in development. That's Hawkeye the archer, not Hawkeye from M*A*S*H* (i09, thanks to Chris at The Outhouse for the tip)Nick Swisher is the most popular MLB player on Twitter. Swisher has over a million followers. Fellow Yankee CC Sabathia is second with over 50,000. That's quite a drop off from first to second. (SB Nation)
What's Tennessee basketball forward Renaldo "Swiperboy" Woolridge been doing lately? Working on his music, what else? While Bruce Pearl probably would rather see Swiperboy in the gym, Woolridge does seem to be at least promising in both the music world and on the basketball court.Swiperboy has also seemed to develop a "Twitter Crush," and felt inclined to sing about it.Autotune. You can't stop it, you can only hope to contain it.
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