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What Passes for Life: Sick of it edition

What Passes for Life: Sick of it edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 3, 2010

Sick of it all. (Cue The Primitives) I'm already tired of the Armando Galarraga Jim Joyce debacle. Don't hold your breath about Bud Selig stepping in to do anything about it.Foxborough, we have a problem. Tom Brady and the New England Patriots are having issues with coming to terms on a new contract. (Yahoo! Sports)Meet Captain America. This is what the movie version of Captain America will look like.A little more practical maybe than the original comic book version. But it looks funny without tha wings on the head. And all the brown takes away from the red, white and blue imagery. (The Outhouse)

I saw Derek Dooley drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's, and his hair was perfect

I saw Derek Dooley drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's, and his hair was perfect

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 3, 2010

There are many attributes of Derek Dooley which have aided him in his quest to win over Tennessee fans hardened over the Lane Kiffin debacle. He total professionalism. His ability to get along with others (Bryce Brown notwithstanding). And most importantly, his hair.Derek Dooley's hair has taken a life of its own. It's been analyzed by experts. It's been placed among the greatest fashion and physical attributes of the greatest of coaches. It has been featured prominently in creeds of fealty to Dooley. There are even places on the internet that allow you to look like him.With this in mind, someone at some point or another would have to ask Dooley about his celebrated mane. That someone happened to be Clay Travis of 104.5 The Zone in Nashville. Dooley's response?Derek Dooley: You know, it's amazing. Some people are worried about what offense we're gonna run, other people's worrying about how multiple we are on defense. You guys are worried about my hair. . . . I will say this: I've had the same haircut since I was 12 years old. Okay, so do the math. That's 30 years of the exact same haircut. At some point your hair finally concedes and says, "I'm gonna just do what the heck you want me to do, and I'm not gonna fight it anymore." And so everybody has their hair fighting them all the time because they don't train it and do it consistently over time, all right? It's no different than training a team. You do it over, and you do it over, and you do it over, and you don't deviate from the plan, and you bring it across and you shape it down, and then eventually they do it how you want it. And then once my hair said, "Okay, I'll do it how you want it," I haven't changed. Why change?The fact that Dooley hasn't changed his hairstyle since his youth puts him in a league with another Vols legend.Tennessee fans love Derek Dooley's hair. Don't get used to it, though. Because this is what his daddy Vince looks like:Gaze upon the future of Derek Dooley's hair, Vols fans, and weep.(apologies to Warren Zevon for the headline)(via Rocky Top Talk)

England struggles with the Ghost of '66

England struggles with the Ghost of '66

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 2, 2010

Here's another of those murals ESPN commissioned for the 2010 World Cup. This one featuring England.The '66 Wayne Rooney and friends are hauling refers to 1966, the last time England won the World Cup. It was also the last time England was actually relevant in the world. Okay, that's exaggerating just a little bit. It's more like 1987 (when The Smiths broke up).While England may be feeling the weight dragging the Ghost of '66 around, it had better be ready to face the Spirit of '76:Speaking of England's 1966 World Cup victory, here is a link to said victory against West Germany... recreated in Legos.(via World Cup Buzz, Deadspin)

What Passes for Life: Clean sweep edition

What Passes for Life: Clean sweep edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 2, 2010

Braves sweep the Phillies. The Braves beat the Phillies 2-1 in afternoon play, sweeping the reigning NL champions. (ESPN)Mark McGwire and wife the parents of triplets. Somebody must have been taking those fertility drugs Manny Ramirez was taking last year. (Big League Stew)Las Vegas to host the Lingerie Bowl. Sin City will be the permanent home for the alternative to the Super Bowl halftime show. In addition, Vegas will also be getting a Lingerie Foolball League franchise. It it's not called the Las Vegas Strip, then somethings wrong. (Las Vegas Review-Journal, via Get the Picture)Kobe Bryant is not better than Michael Jordan. Because Jay Mariotti said so. (Fanhouse)Josh Holloway in The Avengers? Reports are that Lost's Josh Holloway (Sawyer) is in talks with Marvel Studios "to play a "lead" role in an upcoming Marvel film" Internet speculation/ is that Holloway might play Hawkeye in The Avengers movie that Marvel has in development. That's Hawkeye the archer, not Hawkeye from M*A*S*H* (i09, thanks to Chris at The Outhouse for the tip)Nick Swisher is the most popular MLB player on Twitter. Swisher has over a million followers. Fellow Yankee CC Sabathia is second with over 50,000. That's quite a drop off from first to second. (SB Nation)

Tennessee's Swiperboy has a

Tennessee's Swiperboy has a "Twitter Crush"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 2, 2010

What's Tennessee basketball forward Renaldo "Swiperboy" Woolridge been doing lately? Working on his music, what else? While Bruce Pearl probably would rather see Swiperboy in the gym, Woolridge does seem to be at least promising in both the music world and on the basketball court.Swiperboy has also seemed to develop a "Twitter Crush," and felt inclined to sing about it.Autotune. You can't stop it, you can only hope to contain it.

Shirts Without Random Triangles; On the Evolutionary Scale, Jared Allen is nekkid.

Shirts Without Random Triangles; On the Evolutionary Scale, Jared Allen is nekkid.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 2, 2010

Jared Allen's website, jaredallen69inc, features an online store where people can find all sorts of Jared Allen related t-shirts and other accessories, including this t-shirt:There are two obvious things about this t-shirt. 1) Jared Allen is a caveman and ranks below homo sapiens sapiens on the evolutionary scale, and 2) He's nekkid. That's not shocking for some reason. Either way, it's probably not the thing to wear to Church on Sunday morning.(via Sportress of Blogitude)

Your Moment of Tebowness: Two minutes of Tebow signing the letters of his name.

Your Moment of Tebowness: Two minutes of Tebow signing the letters of his name.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 2, 2010

(Your Moment of Tebowness is SWRT's recurring feature on the cultural phenomenon that is His Tebowness. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?)Here is Tim Tebow signing letters of his name for Panini America, the company that publishes Donruss, Score, and other card sets. The letters will probably be used for football cards and the like.If you listen carefully, you can hear His Tebowness singing a bit, though it's hard to tell what exactly the song was. There's also random mentions of Taylor Swift near the end. Taylor Swify and Tebow. Now there's a publicist's dream come true.(via TebowZone)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Whistling Dixie edition

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Whistling Dixie edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 2, 2010

Zach Mettenberger will go JUCO. The disgraced former UGA quarterback will reportedly transfer to Butler County Community College in Kansas for next season. This means he can play football next season for the junior college, and not waste a year on the sidelines due to those pesky NCAA FBS regulations. This is hopefully the last time Mettenberger will be mentioned on this blog for a while. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution, via Leather Helmet Blog)Expansion silly talk at SEC Spring Meeting. A number of SEC coaches, including Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, and Mark Richt are not too crazy about expansion in the SEC. (ESPN)John Wayne whistles "Ramblin' Wreck From Georgia Tech"Frank Sinkwich could probably kick the John Wayne's butt. And he probably would hearing the Duke whistling that. I'm just saying. (Barrel of Rum)There's a FakeDanMullen running around Twitter. You're nobody until there's a fake version of you on Twitter. (Red Cup Rebellion)And speaking of fake Twitter accounts: Check out SummerofMallett, the fake Twitter version of Ryan Mallett. He's a lot more interesting than the real version.Looking ahead to basketball season (Because they have nothing else better to do in North Carolina) . A look at the freshmen who might make an impact in the Triangle. (Blue vs. Blue)"20 Losses in 20 Years." The Tennessee schadenfreude countdown hits #6, and the 1993 loss to Alabama. (Rocky Top Talk)

Your Moment of Tebowness: Tebow to be Broncos' starting QB in 2011?

Your Moment of Tebowness: Tebow to be Broncos' starting QB in 2011?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 1, 2010

(Your Moment of Tebowness is SWRT's recurring feature on the cultural phenomenon that is His Tebowness. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?)ESPN's Bill Williamson makes a bold prediction for 2011: Tim Tebow will be the Denver Broncos' opening-day starting quarterback. Kyle Orton will be a free agent next year, and has was reportedly on the trading block earlier this year. His future status with the team has been in doubt since Brady Quinn was brought in through a trade, and His Tebowness was drafted. Williamson does not even mention the possibility of Quinn being the starter.It looks more and more that the Broncos expect Tim Tebow to be the team's future franchise quarterback. It'll be interesting to see if he can live up to the expectations.(ESPN, via TIMTEBLOG)

ESPN takes promoting the World Cup to a new level artistic pretensiousness.

ESPN takes promoting the World Cup to a new level artistic pretensiousness.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 1, 2010

ESPN's pimping of the World Cup seems to know no end. Now the World Wide Leader is using "murals" representing the 32 nations involved with the world. (Funny,aren't murals supposed to painted on walls?)The murals range from the mildly interesting to the slightly Freudian nightmare inducing to the not just merely bad, but really most sincerely bad. The complete selection is here. But here's the mural for the US team:Not too bad. The idea of Landon Donovan leading the US team like Washington crossing the Delaware is quite intriguing ind inspirational. But it still doesn't beat this:Now that's what I want hanging on my wall. And the drawing wouldn't look so bad next to it, either.

What Passes for Life: Art appreciation edition

What Passes for Life: Art appreciation edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 1, 2010

(What Passes for Life is SWRT's collection of sports and non sports related links and hi-jinks.)Don't you think this Blackhawk hockey love is getting out of hand? The latest statue in Chicago to be defaced to show love for the Chicago Blackhawks is the Chicago Picasso statue. This trend may be the worst thing to happen to statues since the Taliban blew up those two giant Buddhas. (Deadspin)Shocking celebrity split-up of the day. Heidi Montag and the appropriately named Spencer Pratt are breaking up. Less notable celebrities Al and Tipper Gore are separating also.(Reality TV World, Yahoo! News)Larry King to interview LeBron James. Don't expect to hear any major revelations about where LeBron will be playing next year. Or talk about that rumor about Delonte West and his mom. Or anything really newsworthy. (Sportress of Blogitude)Denver's quarterbacks aren't on the trading block. Because Josh McDaniels says so. Not that anybody believes him or anything. (USA Today)Speaking of Larry King. Is it just me, or is King starting to look like the Mother-in-Law on Dinosaurs?Heisman Trophy odds. Las Vegas claims the top three players in the running for the Heisman are last year's winner Mark Ingram (Alabama), Terrelle Pryor (Ohio State), and Ryan Mallett (Arkansas). Surprisingly, Jake Locker (Washington) is ninth. (Tomahawk Nation)When sexy celebrities date ugly people. Self-explanatory. (UPROXX Just be warned, there might be a NSFW image or two there.)The sad state of the newspaper. Blogger bemoans the fact that The New York Times used a wire story to report on the Indianapolis 500 instead of one of their own reporters. (The NYTPicker)Quote of the Day. "Nobody does bad better than Zook, who can turn lemons into lemonade, and then turn that same lemonade back into lemons." - Paul Myerberg on the Illinois head coach. (Pre-Snap Lead, via EDSBS)

Les Miles thinks Kenny Chesney's sexy.

Les Miles thinks Kenny Chesney's sexy.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 1, 2010

Okay, maybe "sexy" is too strong of a world. But Les Miles met up with Kenny Chesney before the least favorite country music star in the college football blogosphere performed at Tiger Stadium on Sunday Night as part of the Bayou Country Superfest. Here's how the meet-up looked.To the chagrin of certain bloggers (*cough*Spencer Hall*cough), Miles didn't try to murder Chesney for the unspeakable crime of writing a song that was played umpteen times during ABC and ESPN's college football coverage last year. Just remember, guys. LSU needs the money in these hard times. And if they have to resort to renting out the stadium for one of Peyton Manning's best buddies, so be it. (Luckily, Pey-Pey wasn't around to serenade the crown Sunday night, as he's prone to do with Chesney. But Sean Peyton and the Lombardi Trophy were. That's pimping for the audience, Kenny.)(via EDSBS, And the Valley Shook, NOLA.com)

Philadelphia Phailure

Philadelphia Phailure

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 1, 2010

Pretty self explanatory.(via Deadspin)

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Tampa Bay Rays go Slapshot on road trip

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Tampa Bay Rays go Slapshot on road trip

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 1, 2010

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays sure know how to have fun. For the current road trip to Toronto, Joe Maddon ordered the team to don hockey jerseys for the flight. What better way to rub it in Canada's face that the Stanley Cup Finals is yet another all-American team match-up this year? (With more than its fare share of Canadians on each team, admittedly.)Maddon likes these kind of team building theme dress-up road trips. Previous ones involved the Rays donning all black in homage to Johnny Cash, cowboys, and the even less socially acceptable Ed Hardy t-shirts (what, there weren't any Truth Soul Armor shirts available?)As you can tell by the image Chicago Blackhawks jerseys are the hot item among the team (pitching coach Jim Hickey's nephew works for the Stanley Cup contender). More noticeable are the few Tampa Bay Lightning jerseys among the bunch. Not even the Rays like the home town hockey team.(via, Tampa Bay Online, SB Nation)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: There's a riot goin' on edition

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: There's a riot goin' on edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 1, 2010

Congratulations to Duke winning the NCAA Mens Lacrosse championship. After all the crud the team went through with those stupid fraudulent sexual assault charges a few years back, they deserve it.Star falls out of Alabama into Georgia (State). Alabama quarterback Star Jackson is transferring to the spanking new Georgia State football program. (SB Nation)How to spruce up Doak Campbell Stadium. An FSU blogger's ideas to make the Seminole fan's game experience a little better. The idea of putting torches atop the four main towers is interesting. It sounds reminiscent of U2's Under a Blood Red Sky concert at Red Rocks. (ScalpEm.com)Five burning questions for the SEC Spring Meetings. And Tony Barnhart's the one holding the matches. And yes, expansion is one of them.(Mr. College Football)There's a riot goin' on. Georgia fan on YouTube calls for a riot in 2010.Wasn't the touchdown celebration bad enough for Mark Richt and the Dawgs' reputation? At least the Three Days Grace was cool. (Leather Helmet Blog)

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