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What Passes for Life: Stimulus Package edition

What Passes for Life: Stimulus Package edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 12, 2010

(What Passes for Life is SWRT's collection of sports and non sports related links and hi-jinks.)Stimulus Package. New York Mets rookie Ike "The Stimulus" Davis made a breathtaking crash-into-the-dugout catch to end last night's Mets victory against the Nationals. Apparently so did one of his teammates. (Deadspin, MLB.com)NASCAR Hall of Fame opens in Charlotte. From the Marbles gives a brief tour of some of the legendary stock cars on display. Also on display is a recreation of Junior Johnson's moonshine still, which was assembled on site by Johnson himself. No, they're probably not giving out samples. (From the Marbles)So, does Lefty eat at Five Guys, or did he eat five guys? It turns out there may have been a secret agenda behind Phil Mickelson's pimping of Five Guys during The Players tournament. It seems he co-owns the franchise rights to Five Guys in Orange County, California. (Deadspin, CNBC)Comedy Central cancels "The Sarah Silverman Program." Drew Magry and AJ Daulerio found dancing with glee around Deadspin offices. (Warming Glow)Turkey Hunting with Bobby Knight. No, Knight did not choke the turkey with his bare hands. (The Sporting Blog)His Tebowness does not need your seven-figure endorsement deals. Tim Tebow claims he's turned down seven-figure endorsement deals to focus on football. Meanwhile, His Tebowness is taking batting practice with Memphis University School. That's really focusing on football there, Timmy. (Tim Teblog, Gator Bytes)

Jimbo Fisher: Cliché we can believe in.

Jimbo Fisher: Cliché we can believe in.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 12, 2010

At left is an image created for the program cover of the Seminole Boosters Coaches Tour & Legends Golf Tournament. Guess what imagery they used for a new coach with the "change" mantra? Yep, a garnet and gold variation of the already cliché Obama "change" imagery. Just cue The Smiths already, because "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore."Then again this brings up a whole lot of other boring jokes about whether Fisher was even born in America, or whether he has a valid birth certificate or not. But I'm not going there. No sirree.(via SI.com)

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Steve Nash

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Steve Nash "Eyes without a face" edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 12, 2010

It figures some enterprising entrepreneur would try to cash in on Steve Nash going Nick Fury with his one-eyed clutch performance against the Spurs. And doing so without trying to mess with such pesky things as licensing agreements. So twoeightnine design came up with the "Nashty" shirt, featuring a shaggy mane of hair and a band-aid above a featureless face where the right eye should be (Nash's right eye, your left). While this makes the image of the shirt look more like The Question than Nash, anybody worth their salt will probably be able to figure it out.(via Ball Don't Lie)

SI cover curse starring Shaq: Cleveland is doomed! Doomed, I tell you!

SI cover curse starring Shaq: Cleveland is doomed! Doomed, I tell you!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 12, 2010

Here's the cover to the new issue of Sports Illustrated with Shaquille O'Neal. And judging from last night's Celtics-Cavs game last night, the SI cover curse is already coming into play.And isn't that blurb "Good Old Shaq" just a little too mean? Okay, Shaq's been in the NBA since 1992, but did SI really have to go there? Besides, what first comes to mind when you hear "Good Old (insert name here)" is spoken? (via SI.com)

Vanderbilt a Big 10 candidate? Oh snap!

Vanderbilt a Big 10 candidate? Oh snap!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 12, 2010

You'd better sit down for this one. Someone suggested that Vanderbilt might be a candidate for Big 10 expansion. Oh snap!Okay, it was only a matter of time before Big 10 expansion went from just being silly to completely going off the deep end. And after Black Heart Gold Pants chimed in with its projected schools, that's saying a lot. But seriously, Vanderbilt?Here's the logic from Team Speed Kills (who are passing the blame on Andy Katz for this): Vandy is very close in proximity to certain Big 10 schools. It's also has similar academic credentials as Northwestern. Translation: It'll be another geeky school with coke bottle glasses the other Big 10 schools can beat up on.Vandy may also get a look-see more for the basketball than for the football. Apparently the same goes for Georgia Tech out of the ACC. But Tech almost makes even more sense. Maybe not geographically, but it still is considered a good school academically. Plus it has at the moment relatively strong football and basketball programs (which obviously Vandy can't say).Where Andy Katz (or Team Speed Kills, or whoever) got this story is anybody's guess. But just remember: the voices in your head don't count as reliable sources.(via Team Speed Kills)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Picking Up the Pieces edition

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Picking Up the Pieces edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 12, 2010

While I'm still picking up the pieces of what's left of my brain after the "Vanderbilt as Big 10 candidate" story, here is the SEC/ACC round-up of the day.Louisville decides not to take a chance on Zach Mettenberger. Apparently the school has enough sex scandal issues with Rick Pitino to take in one of Georgia's. (Leather Helmet Blog, Kelin Johnson Sports)Arkansas will not bolt from the SEC to the Big 12. Because Tony Barnhart says so. (Mr. College Football)Georgia Tech graduate assistant football coach used to be a Navy fighter pilot. And no, it's not one of the pilots responsible for that way-too-low fly over at the Wake Forest-Ga. Tech game last year.(Atlanta Journal-Constitution)Sports Illustrated on Jimbo Fisher. Andy Staples looks at how Jimbo Fisher wants to change things at Florida State. That includes wanting to move the all-important rivalry game with Florida to the beginning of the season. Pretty good article. (Tomahawk Nation, Sports Illustrated)List of the Day: "Top 5 SEC Hires of the Decade." And no, Lane Kiffin isn't on the list. (Dawg Post)

New deal for Georgia-Florida game still being worked on.

New deal for Georgia-Florida game still being worked on.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 12, 2010

The contract to keep the Georgia-Florida game in Jacksonville still hasn't been signed yet. Not that the World's Largest [CENSORED BY DR. EVIL MICHAEL ADAMS] will be going anywhere this year. This year's game is still under the old agreement. But the new deal to keep the game in Jacksonville through 2016 still needs a few i's dotted and t's crossed. But things are going forward and a new deal should be signed by the summer. Which is good for Jacksonville, since the Georgia-Florida game might be the only football game played in the fall there in a few years.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

What Passes for Life: Don't be afraid of the ball edition

What Passes for Life: Don't be afraid of the ball edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

Why is this image here? Basically because of the look on the player's face. Now there's the look of a guy that really wants to be there. (Black Shoe Diaries)Lane Kiffin+Arizona+Ed Orgeron in drag+political incorrectness=fun. An interesting little gem hitting many targets at once. (EDSBS)And since I went there: Machette/Luz 2012. I'm just saying."Grown man jersey etiquette." If you're a grown man, don't wear one. (Unless mitigating circumstances otherwise say so.) (The Mets Police)Atlanta Braves to retire Tom Glavine's number in August. By then, that might be the only reason to go to a Braves' game in August. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

"Sexy" Lane Kiffin Tuesday update

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

"Sexy" Lane Kiffin has tweeted on his competition in the Esquire "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament."Dear Heather Mitts- I tried this with Natalie & Danica...please have all of your friends vote for you in the Esquire Mag contest! Thanks"Why would Kiffin be wanting to help Mitts in this competition. Does he really want to lose such a prestigious title as "Sexiest Woman Alive?" Or he just showing great sportsmanship? Either way, it's up to you to make sure "Sexy" Lane makes it into the Elite Eight.(via Lane Kiffin's Twitter, Esquire)

Shirts Without Random Triangles:  LA ready for its day in the Sun

Shirts Without Random Triangles: LA ready for its day in the Sun

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

Los Angeles is ready for the upcoming Western Finals against Phoenix. And it looks like the t-shirt manufacturers are already ahead of schedule. Sports Enemy already has this dandy little item up for sale.It's hard to argue with that logic. Just don't expect Los Suns to set without a fight. They're not quite the Hawks, you know.

The Golddomedammerung: Domer stoner edition

The Golddomedammerung: Domer stoner edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

(The Golddomedammerung is a recurring feature of SWRT covering Notre Dame schadenfreude.)Attention Brian Kelly: It's 4:20. Do you know where your tight end is? If the tight end in question is Mike Ragone, he might be partaking of the product of a certain three-leafed green plant that isn't a shamrock. Ragone was arrested for possession of marijuana after being pulled over for driving over the speed limit by the Indiana State Patrol. A state trooper found two bags of pot in the purse of Ragone's female passenger. Ragone and the passenger were charged with misdemeanor possession due to the small amount of marijuana involved.No word yet as to what punishment from Notre Dame Ragone might get, but don't be surprised if Kelly makes him an ex-tight end.(via Dr. Saturday, The Journal-Gazette)

You've got chocolate on my bowl game!

You've got chocolate on my bowl game!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

It looks like it hasn't taken long for ESPN to find a new title sponsor for the Orange Bowl. Reports say Hershey's is close to signing a deal for the title-sponsorship of the once-proud bowl game in Miami. This comes after Fed-Ex balked at ESPN's demands to remain as sponsor.The game will reportedly be called the Reese's Orange Bowl. Which kind of makes sense, since Reese's is known for its orange packaging. It's also appropriate for Miami since Reese's Miniatures are as addictive as crack.(via Leather Helmet Blog, College Football Talk)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tuesday afternoon edition

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tuesday afternoon edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

The ACC must have a plan for expansion! Because Tony Barnhart says so. (Mr. College Football)Paul Finebaum says Les Miles and Mark Richt are doomed. Shut up, Paul. (al.com)No alternate unis for Florida this year. The SEC championship obviously made them as gun-shy to them as Georgia has. (EDSBS)Looking at the next ACC television deal. The best excuse to link to a Boston College blog in a Dixiecentric article like this. (BC Interruption)Erk Russell punked by College Hall of Fame. Somebody better tell those goobers where they'll be making their home in a few years. (Dawg Sports)"20 Losses in 20 Years," #8. Continuing Rocky Top Talk's look at the Vols' biggest defeats of the past two decades looks at the 2007 SEC Championship. (Rocky Top Talk)

Dawgageddon: Could  Mettenberger end up playing for Tennessee?

Dawgageddon: Could Mettenberger end up playing for Tennessee?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 11, 2010

(Dawgageddon is a recurring feature of SWRT covering UGA schadenfreude.)The latest twist in the Zach Mettenberger saga could have him becoming a recurring nightmare for Mark Richt and Georgia. According to an interview with the disgraced QB, Mettenberger mentions several schools that have shown interest in him, despite that nasty business in Valdosta."Mettenberger tells kelinjohnson.com that he’s had heavy interest and calls from other colleges and universities, including the University of Tennessee, USC, Texas A&M, UK, Troy State, Memphis, and Colorado, and that a number of schools have been calling to get the scoop on Mettenberger from Bulldog Offensive Coordinator, and former winning UGA quarterback Mike Bobo."After sitting out a year, Mettenberger could quite possibly have four chances to get his revenge on Georgia as a Volunteer. Tennessee, on the other hand, could once again find a way to thumb its nose at Georgia, having already hired Derek Dooley (Vince Dooley's son) as coach. As if beating UGA on the gridiron wasn't bad enough.(via 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, KelinJohnson.com)

What Passes for Life: Midnight Special Edition

What Passes for Life: Midnight Special Edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on May 10, 2010

Johnny Rivers truly deserves to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He recorded some of the best singles by an American artist in the Sixties, which included "Midnight Special,""Secret Agent Man," "Seventh Son," and the number one hit "Poor Side of Town." He also founded Soul City Records, and produced the 5th Dimension hits "Go Where You Wanna Go" and "Up-Up and Away."Orlando Magic sweep Atlanta Hawks. Hawks start summer vacation. Joe Johnson and coach Mike Woodson might be taking a permanent vacation from the Hawks. Johnson's a little more voluntary than Woodson's (Yahoo! Sports)Quick, call George Noory! The dirty commies at the Wolverine Liberation Front have uncovered a vast conspiracy that tears at the heart of Michigan. That or they're having a little too much fun with Photoshop. (Wolverine Liberation Army)Iron Man 3 already on the schedule for summer of 2013. Forget that. I want a Black Widow movie starring Scarlett Johansson NOW!(Obviously, IM2 rocks. Make sure you say past the credits.)(The Outhouse)Eric Byrnes, look at your future, ye Major Leaguer and despair. The sadness that Eric Byrnes can look forward to as an recreational softball player now that his career as a Major Leaguer is over.Oh well, at least the shirt and socks match. (JoeSportsFan.com)Does the Big 10 really want these guys? Despite all the speculation that the Big 10 wants Rutgers as a member school, you have to wonder if its more to the proximity to New York City than to any real desire to have the Scarlet Knights at the party. Especially with fans like this.I doubt either the Big 10 or Savon Huggins would want any part of this. Better hope Notre Dame changes their minds. (SB Nation)

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