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Shocking news of the day: Some people in Alabama don't like 'Bama football

Shocking news of the day: Some people in Alabama don't like 'Bama football

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 28, 2010

 You mean there's more to life in Alabama than football? That or an Auburn fan finally snapped. (via Roll Bama Roll, Passive Aggressive Notes)

Your Moment of Vuvuzela presents Vuvuzela, The Motion Picture

Your Moment of Vuvuzela presents Vuvuzela, The Motion Picture

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 27, 2010

Sooner or later it will happen.  Someone will make a film involving a vuvuzela. Maybe it will supposed to  be a comedy. In reality, it will probably be more of a crime against cinema. But that won't stop me from having a little fun and suggesting some titles for the inevitable cinema debut of the vuvuzela. (And probably a TV series or two also) The Sound of Vuvuzela The Man With the Golden Vuvuzela Star Wars Episode V: The Vuvuzela Strikes Back Vuvuzela Encounters of the Third Kind I Dream of Vuvuzela Vuvuzela, The Forbidden Dance Megashark Vs. Giant Vuvuzela: A SyFy Original Movie Vuvuzela Over the River Kwai Dances With Vuvuzelas Robin Hood, Prince of Vuvuzela Romancing the Vuvuzela Lord of the Vuvuzela: The Fellowship of the Vuvuzela Dr. Strangevuvuzela The Spy Who Loved Vuvuzela The Wizard of Vuvuzels Indiana Jones and the Temple of Vuvuzela Vuvuzelas in the Mist

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: NBA Draft, Maryland, NC State, Alabama, Florida, Arkansas

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: NBA Draft, Maryland, NC State, Alabama, Florida, Arkansas

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 26, 2010

Kentucky 2010 or Florida 2007: Which NBA Draft class was better? Comparing the The five 'Cats players drafted to the three drafter from Florida's second NCAA championship team. (Team Speed Kills) Why did Debbie Yow Maryland AD job for NC State? In all probability it was a combination of family ties to NC State, regime change at Maryland, and issues over how she handled the program. (Testudo Times) Bryant-Denny Stadium expansion on schedule. Seating capacity will increase to over 101,000. (TideSports.com, via Roll Bama Roll) Florida needs a Men's Soccer team. Because domination in one kind of football isn't enough. (Alligator Army) "Get to Know Bobby Petrino." Before he leaves for another job. (Arkansas Expats)

Yes, the SEC will have no vuvuzelas

Yes, the SEC will have no vuvuzelas

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 26, 2010

At first it looked like that the SEC would allow vuvuzelas into SEC events. Now, the conference is stating the World Cup noise maker is not welcome. The SEC has made it clear that only "traditional" noisemakers that are tied into a school's history would be permitted (i.e. cowbells at Mississippi State). "Our policy allows for ‘traditional' artificial noisemakers to be allowed in stadiums and played during specific times. Other forms of artificial noisemakers are not allowed. I do not believe a vuvuzela is tied traditionally into one of our institutions." ... "Vuvuzelas cannot be brought into the game per policy. Cowbells, since it is traditionally tied into one of our schools, can be brought in at that school."So SEC fans are saved from that infernal buzzing. They'll just have to go back to adult beverages for that. (via SB Nation)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Clemson vs. South Carolina, NC State steals Marylands' AD, and more

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Clemson vs. South Carolina, NC State steals Marylands' AD, and more

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 25, 2010

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news)    Chickens and Cats. A look at the South Carolina Clemson rivalry, for what it's worth. (Team Speed Kills) More Chickens and Cats. A look at tonight's South Carolina-Clemson College World Series Match-up. The winner going to the National Championship. (And that's a real National Championship. Not the mythical BCS one). (Shakin the Southland) How fast can a Terrapin turn into a Wolf? Pretty fast. Reports claim that Maryland AD Debbie Yow will become NC State's new AD. (newsobserver.com, via Testudo Times) Don't sit under the Saban tree with anyone else but me. A look at coaches who have served under Nick Saban, including Derek Dooley and Jimbo Fisher. (Roll 'Bama Roll) Auburn's "Season of Hope." If I see an Obama-esque poster of Aubie, I'm gonna puke. (Track 'Em Tigers)

Derek Dooley plans to creat his own state for recruiting (sort of)

Derek Dooley plans to creat his own state for recruiting (sort of)

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 25, 2010

Derek Dooley has come up with with a new idea in recruiting. Creating his own state, sort of. His plan is to consider anywhere that's in a 300-mile radius of Knoxville as "in-state." That would include the Atlanta, Birmingham, Charlotte, and Dayton, Ohio.  metro areas, but would in fact go further. "In that radius you also have some city and metro areas that produce good talent like Atlanta, Birmingham, Ala., and Charlotte, to name a few. Those city centers are actually closer to Knoxville, Tenn. than Memphis. But the fact of the matter is that because of Knoxville's location, 300 miles or so almost gets you to the state of Florida (south), Charlotte (east), and Dayton, Ohio (north)." So Dooley pretty much wants to take over a good chunk of Georgia. If it were just enough of Georgia that Atlanta wouldn't have to put up with South Georgia politicians, then I'd be all for it. On the other hand it pretty much means  that "Rocky Top" would probably be the state song, but since it was co-written by a Georgia boy, I can live with it. And Derek Dooley hair would serve as a better Governor than anybody Georgia's produced in 30 years. (via ESPN, EDSBS, )

Your Moment of Vuvuzela

Your Moment of Vuvuzela

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 24, 2010

Hyundai has reportedly built the world's largest Vuvuzela. (via Jalopnik) In related vuvuzela news, the SEC wont ban vuvuzelas. Huge mistake. Imagine "Rocky Top" performed with vuvuzelas. And don't think Tennessee fans won't try. (The Sporting Blog, via EDSBS)

What Passes for Life: 6/24 Links and Hi-Jinks

What Passes for Life: 6/24 Links and Hi-Jinks

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 24, 2010

If NCAA coaches has sponsors. Little gems such as "Bobby Petrino, Mayflower Van Lines Head Coach, University of Arkansas," and "Lane Kiffin, Ed Hardy Head Coach, University of Southern California." No mention of Derek Dooley, Vidal Sassoon Head Coach, University of Tennessee," though. (Dr. Saturday) Celebrities at sporting events is like a "Bad Romance."  David Whitley isn't fond of stars at sporting events. Especially Lady Gaga. (Fanhouse) Two ex-teen pop stars + SyFy = Crapfest. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, starring Tiffany as a park ranger matching wits against animal-right activist Debbie Gibson, with a giant snake and a "Gateroid" somehow involved. I don't know what a "Gatoriod" is, but I hope it involves a mutated Tim Tebow. (Warming Glow) Octopus predicts German World Cup group stage victory against Ghana. Psychic octopus? This really should be the basis for a SyFy Original Movie!  (Dirty Tackle) UFC drops Keith Jardine. Last Saturday's loss to Matt Hamill was it for Jardine. (Bloody Elbow)

Derek Dooley bans his mother Barbara from the state of Tennessee

Derek Dooley bans his mother Barbara from the state of Tennessee

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 24, 2010

Derek Dooley has a bit of a problem on his hands. His mother, Barbara Dooley, has become a media celebrity in her own right in Tennessee. Which is not surprising to anybody in the state of Georgia, where Barbara can be very outspoken and sometimes outrageous when she gets in front of a microphone. So how is the best hair in the SEC dealing with such a situation. Simple, he says he "had to ban her from the state." "She has developed a bit of an icon status in Tennessee, and I've had to ban her from the state." Derek said he asked his mother not to do any interviews with in-state (Tennessee) media. "Mom has violated my media policies," he said. "She does it every day, and she doesn't give a (darn). My power can only go so far. She thinks it's fun. She's not going to think that when we have some bad years." Dooley Doesn't seem to be having that problem with father Vince, though. "My dad doesn't want to tell anybody if he goes (to the game) because he doesn't want it to become a spectacle," Derek said. "How many times have you had to look at a quarterback's dad (like Archie Manning in a stadium whenever Eli or Peyton is playing) on TV before you start going 'Please!'" Which is probably good, because any sight of Vince Dooley in Frosted Orange would probably mean irate members of the Bulldog Nation ready to run Dr. Evil Adams out of Athens with pitchforks and torches a-blazing (like they need an excuse to do that). (via Go Vols Xtra)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Peyton Manning, stregnth coaches and tennis

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Peyton Manning, stregnth coaches and tennis

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 24, 2010

 (Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news)  How 'Bout That Dawg! Former Georgia men's tennis team member John Isner wins longest tennis match in history at Wimbledon. (Yahoo! Sports) Pey-Pey on Derek Dooley. Plus a few comments about that other guy. (You know, Kiffin) (Go Vols Xtra) Fear the Free Range Chickens. Why the Bulldog Nation should be worried about South Carolina. (Dawg Sports) Know your SEC strength coaches. A look at SEC strength coaches (Duh!). (ESPN College Football Nation Blog) Know Your ACC strength coaches. Ditto (ESPN College Football Nation) Is this a good thing or a bad thing? What North Carolina State QB Russel Wilson's new minor league deal with the Colorado Rockies might mean for the Wolfpack this upcoming season. (Star News Online, via Backing the Pack)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT!...Hey, not literally!

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT!...Hey, not literally!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 24, 2010

(via The 700 Level)

Why is Colt McCoy Smiling?

Why is Colt McCoy Smiling?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 24, 2010

You may have seen this picture of Colt McCoy floating on the internet, notably over at EDSBS. But exactly why is the Browns' rookie in such a rollicking jolly mood? Here are some possible answers. 1. "I left Texas just in time to avoid having the stench of the Big 12 fiasco rubbing off on me." 2. "Ever since I got knocked out of the BCS Championship, I've felt like so FABU! Pain killers are so awesome." 3. "I'm glad that I  don't have to worry about sharing a shower with Brady Quinn.  Tim Tebow had better not drop the soap in Denver." 4. "Someone laced my Gatorade at the Browns' training camp with ecstasy." 5. "You'd be happy to if you never had to face those creepy Aggies again." 6. "Things are going well. No one has suspected me yet. The plan for UT dominance of football continues. The Big 12 is in the hands of my Texas masters. It will only be a matter of time before the AFC North falls under its control as well. Texas shall reign supreme! (via EDSBS)

Today's soccer match against Algeria was great. But admit it, soccer fans...

Today's soccer match against Algeria was great. But admit it, soccer fans...

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 23, 2010

This is still the best moment in American soccer history.

What Passes for Life: SchadenFrance edition

What Passes for Life: SchadenFrance edition

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 23, 2010

(What Passes for Life is SWRT's collection of sports and non sports related links and hi-jinks.) SchadenFrance. Making fun of France's disastrous World Cup is funny.  Especially after the USA advances. (Deadspin) Florida Marlins break Fredi Gonzalez's heart. And they fire him too. (Fanhouse)  I'm  Ghanna Get You Sucka. Landon Donovan and crew face Ghana Saturday after the latter's loss to Germany. (Yahoo! Sports) Megan Fox wants to know what it's like to be a Rainmaker. Megan Fox wants to play the Gen 13 character Rainmaker if they ever make a Gen 13 movie.  She may have just cut that film's chances of happening in half. (AV Club) Autographed Strasburg rookie card bidding at $101,000. (Big League Stew)

Joker Phillips and Kentucky walk into thorny territory with camo pants

Joker Phillips and Kentucky walk into thorny territory with camo pants

By Juan Cena in SWRT on June 23, 2010

Joker Phillips may have made his first tactical error as Kentucky head coach with the above yearbook cover. Phillips, flanked by two of his players, appear on the cover wearing BDU pants above the caption "Ready For Battle." The comparisons to war and sports are nothing new, and intertwining the two can get thorny at times. In cases like the San Diego Padres' alternate Desert Storm-era camo jerseys, it can be used to honor America's servicemen. At other times, it can fall into self serving parody.  Kellen Winslow is the obvious example here. College football and camo can be very tricky too. South Carolina and Maryland wore unis with camo designs last year, it was to honor Veterans Day and to help raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project. However, there is one rather infamous reason why college football programs might want to avoid the camo gear. Two words: The U. It's not the kind of image colleges really want their programs to be remembered by. Miami's infamous donning of the camo fatigues went hand in hand with the team's image as an outlaw program. Something Miami has tried to live down while at the same time trying to get back to the success of those teams of the 1980's. Imagine if John Calipari and not Joker Phillips was wearing those BDU pants. The sports media would have a field day raking him and Kentucky over the coals. Phillips and Kentucky's intentions with the BDU pants may have been good with that yearbook cover, but perception tends to overtake even the best of intentions. It might not have been the best move for a rookie football coach to make for a first impression. (via EDSBS, Military.com)

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