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The Internet demands Gus Johnson in the booth for SEC Football

The Internet demands Gus Johnson in the booth for SEC Football

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 26, 2010

Well okay, so far it's just And the Valley Shook! and EDSBS that I know of. But heck, I know a bandwagon to jump on then I see it. And Gus Johnson in the announcer's booth would be pure awesomeness.Johnson may be the breakout star of this year's tournament. Even more so than anybody on the St. Mary's or Northern Iowa rosters. Johnson has inspired a soundboard created in his honor.Covering college football won't be too much of an adjustment for Johnson. He's covered NFL game for CBS, and is known for his call last year of Brandon Stokley's Week 1 touchdown reception in Denver's victory over Cincinnati. So covering a college football game shouldn't be a stretch.Need more proof? Take a gander at this.And so in honor of this, SWRT has created a Facebook group to further this movement to pair up the SEC to the excitement that is Gus Johnson.Just imagine Gus Johnson calling Alabama versus Tennessee. Or Georgia versus Florida in the World's Largest (Redacted by the orders of Dr. Evil Michael Adams). Rise and Fire indeed.(via EDSBS, And the Valley Shook!)

The Boston Red Sox:

The Boston Red Sox: "What, Me Worry?"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 26, 2010

This was Dustin Pedroia doing his best Alfred E. Newman Thursday, after x-rays on his left wrist showed no damage from where he sprained it in a Tuesday spring practice game against the Minnesota Twins. Pedroia may be all smiles, but that's not keeping Red Sox fans from slipping back into their pre-1994 ways. Over the Monster presents to the public "The Paranoid's Guide to the Red Sox, Part I: Riverdancing with Wolves." The title alone is worth the going to the trouble of linking up to it. First up is a look at the flaws in the pitching of Jonathan Papelbon, including the dependence on the fastball, and lack of success with secondary pitches. This and this ominous warning:When you've got a 1-pitch pitcher with a lot of wear on his arm, and a big free agent contract on the horizon, the last thing you expect is a big season. In 2010, the only thing Jonathan Papelbon will be saving is himself... for the Yankees.Be afraid, Boston, be very afraid. (via ESPN, Over the Monster)

Five for Five Links

Five for Five Links

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 25, 2010

Mark Richt lashed out at reporter over quotes from UGA VIII - Let the Urban Meyer meltdown parodies begin! (Dawg Sports)LSU considers on campus micro-brewery - An official one that is. Wouldn't shock me one bit if there weren't amateur versions of Hawkeye and B.J.'s still in the dorms already. (Dr. Saturday)Paul Hewitt not jumping at St. John's, staying at Georgia Tech - At least one of those is due to a huge buyout clause. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)The International Bowl is toast. - Wait, there was a bowl game in Toronto? Sadly, bowl games are like the heads of the hydra. Cut one off and two more grow grow in its place. (Buster Sports)It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...LAME! - This Dwight Howard "This is SportsCenter" commercial.If Hannah Storm is Lois Lane, does this make Brian Kenny Jimmy Olsen?

Auburn taps Barbee as new mens' basketball coach.

Auburn taps Barbee as new mens' basketball coach.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 25, 2010

Okay, it's not that Barbie. But in all seriousness Auburn has hired UTEP's Tony Barbee to be the Tigers' new mens' basketball coach. No word yet if Ken or Skipper will be joining him on the coaching staff.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Urban Meyer goes postal at reporter after Tebow comments

Urban Meyer goes postal at reporter after Tebow comments

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 25, 2010

(Cue the Carolina Liar)Urban Meyer went a little postal at Orlando Sentinel reporter Jeremy Fowler Wednesday. Fowler had reported on comments by Florida wide receiver (for now) Deonte Thompson comparing new Gator QB John Brantley to a certain former Florida QB who just recently graduated."New quarterback John Brantley is what Thompson calls a “pure passer,” which makes him happy. The two have connected on thousands of passes the last three years in practice, Thompson said. “You never know with Tim,” Thompson said. “You can bolt, you think he’s running but he’ll come up and pass it to you. You just have to be ready at all times. With Brantley, everything’s with rhythm, time. You know what I mean, a real quarterback.”Meyer confronted Fowler on Wednesday about the comments. As you can see, He wasn't amused.In case you missed it, Meyer said “If that was my son, we’d be going at it right now.” He was talking about Fowler there, but the fact the comments were about Tebow probably made the situation even worse. In fact, it could be argued that subconsciously it really was Tebow that Meyer was referring to in that manner. Meyer also loved Tebow like Timmy was his own child. It just seems that love was more in the way John Huston loved Faye Dunnaway in Chinatown as time goes on. (And yes, that just being metaphorical.)(via Deadspin, Orlando Sentinel)

Forget Chris Evans. Ricky Stanzi is the

Forget Chris Evans. Ricky Stanzi is the "REAL" Captain America

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2010

Chris Evans has accepted Marvel's offer to play Captain America in The First Avenger: Captain America, scheduled for a 2011 release. However, Marvel's choice may have picked the wrong man for the job. Black Heart Gold Pants make a good case for Iowa QB Ricky Stanzi as the real Star-Spangled Avenger.The blog gives us a three part tale that takes our hero from the heart of Middle America to deepest darkest North Korea to rescue Iowa obsessed South Korean pop group Girls' Generation from his jealous teammate Paki O'Meara. (Don't ask. South Korea's apparently obsessed with the Iowa Hawkeyes. I blame Alan Alda.) Read Part one here. And follow it up with Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.(Wait, did I say this was three parts? Silly me. I have become The Spanish Inquisition. If you've got a problem with that, I'll strap you to the Comfy Chair.)(via KITV, Black Heart Gold Pants)

Swiperboy's got a Sweep 16 rap.

Swiperboy's got a Sweep 16 rap.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2010

Just in time for the Sweet 16, Renaldo "Swiperboy" Woolridge is back with a rap on guess what? Tennessee's trip to the Sweet 16. Creatively titled "Baller Vol Sweet 16," Swiperboy dropped this one on YouTube a couple of days ago.He apparently has a mix tape out on April 4 also. I'm sure that it'll be one Bruce Pearl's iPod quicker than a UT coed on his son, Steven Pearl's lap.I guess it is great to be a Tennessee Vol.Oh crud...did I just use the words "Bruce Pearl" and "rap" in the same sentence?Remind me not to make that mistake again.(via Deadspin, The Big Lead)

Your gratuitous

Your gratuitous "Sexy" Lane Kiffin update

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 24, 2010

It may be a case of too little, too late, but Natalie Gulbis has crept up a little on Lane Kiffin in Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" Tournament. But not by much. Kiffin still leads 56%-44%, so that may be too much ground for Gulbis to make up.Just for future reference, Danica Patrick is shaping up to be Kiffin's competition in the second round of the tournament. She's currently ahead of Erin Andrews 54%-46%.

Yankee and Red Sox players in a commercial ?  Are cats and dogs living together next?

Yankee and Red Sox players in a commercial ? Are cats and dogs living together next?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 23, 2010

It's an act that is probably only permissible due to the involvement of ESPN. Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz and Yankee outfielder Nick Swisher have done a commercial promoting the WWL's baseball schedule. But at least there are some things you can't get a Yankee to do.I hope Swisher's refusal to sing "Sweet Caroline" is more than just a gag in a commercial. It should be a part of every Yankee's contract where singing that is banned.The other guy in the clip is Adam Scott, who you might know from either a)the movie Step Brothers, or b)the USA series Party Down, though I seriously doubt the later, since I never even heard of it.(via, Boston Dirt Dogs, imdb)

More reasons to hate Duke: Dad names son after Christian Laettner

More reasons to hate Duke: Dad names son after Christian Laettner

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 23, 2010

It's one of those things that could only happen during March Madness. A couple in North Carolina has named their son Laettner Keanu Locklear. The father, Chad Locklear, obviously a huge Duke fan. So he picked the one name above all others that would annoy all the Tar Heel fans he knows. You can include his wife, April Locklear among that group. She's the one that came up with the middle name "Keanu," by the way. So she's not completely off the hook for this kid's future stint in psychological therapy.It could be worse. Imagine a kid named Hurley or Redick. Or worse...Krzyzewski. On the other hand, the kid could have been named Montross. Or Jordan, if he was lucky.In a related story, a couple in Minnesota named their kid after Joe Mauer. And I thought I was a dork because I want to name my firstborn son David Webb (if you get the reference, kudos to you).(via Deadspin, Fayetteville Observer)

For sale: Golden State Warriors, slightly used

For sale: Golden State Warriors, slightly used

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 22, 2010

Want to buy a an NBA franchise, and you have about $315 million? Well, you're in luck. The Golden State Warriors are up for sale. Though you may have to wait in line, because Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle, has been waiting for his chance at owning the team for a while.Christopher Cohan, who owns an an 80% stake in the Warriors, ended months of speculation and officially put the team up for sale Monday. He's hired Galatioto Sports Partners to help facilitate the sale. Reports of a possible sale have been around since last July. Ellison has reportedly been wanting to buy the team (Oracle has the naming rights to the team's arena) but bemoaned in January that "unfortunately you can't have a hostile takeover of a basketball team." Now he might have his chance.The Warriors, by the way, are described as "are a premier NBA franchise" in a press release put out by the team. If by "premier" you mean the last place team in the Pacific Division with a 19-50 record, that is. Well at least it makes you more "premier" than the New York Knicks, I guess.(via SB Nation, USA Today, Yahoo! Sports)

Clausen and Tebow not on Browns' radar?

Clausen and Tebow not on Browns' radar?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 21, 2010

Don't expect Jimmy Clausen or Tim Tebow to be wearing a Browns jersey next season. Mike Holmgren isn't quite sold on them. Interviewed by the Cleveland Plain-Dealer, the Browns President said the team would draft a quarterback. However, he wasn't too keen on Clausen or Tebow.In regards to Clausen, Holmgren said:"I wish I liked him more," he said. "You know how you have a type of player that you like? It's not scientific. People like him a lot. He'll go high. But it would be hard for me [to take him]." Translation: We've had enough of Notre Dame QB's thank you.As for Tebow, while he was invited to pay a private visit with the Browns, Holmgren doesn't seem willing to use a projected second round draft pick on him...."There are areas of the football team that we really have to help -- the secondary, offensive line -- to get the team better. This year it would be pretty hard to use the second [round] pick to get a quarterback. It would be pretty hard for me. "Next year might be easier. We've got [three picks in the third round and four in the fifth round] going for us. But I'd have to have another second-round pick [to take a quarterback in the second round]." If if makes Browns' fans feel happier, there was no mention of Colt McCoy. So he might still be on the radar in Cleveland. (via Cleveland Plain-Dealer)

Your

Your "Sexy" Lane Kiffin update

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 21, 2010

It does seem that Lane Kiffin is easily going to beat Natalie Grubbs in the first round of Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Madness tournament. So it might be time to start scouting out Kiffin's "Sexy" competition, starting the the Sports Bracket, where Lane and Natalie are located.(2)Tanith Belbin vs. (15)Daniela HantuchovaThe lovely ice dancer Belbin holds a slight 51%-49% lead over the beautiful Slovakian tennis player.(4) Serena Williams vs. (13) Gina CaranoSerena may be the queen on the tennis court, but MMA star Carano reigns supreme in this match-up 84%-16%(5) Ana Ivanovic vs. (12) Heather MittsThe soccer star is easily beating the tennis star 68%-32%(6) Lindsey Vonn & Julia Mancuso vs. (11) The "Panamanian Cricket Team"America's Olympians are getting beat by what may be the phoniest sports entity since the Swedish Bikini Team 69%-31%. Patriotism obviously means nothing to voters.(7) Matt Stafford's Girlfriend (Kelly Hall) vs. (10) Scott Podsednik's Wife (Lisa Dergan)America's love for football stretches wins out against America's Pastime 61%-39%(8) Erin Andrews vs. (9) Danica PatrickDanica is edging out Erin 52%-48% in what is obviously a hotly contested race.Should they both make it through Kiffin would face Danica Patrick in round two. Brace yourselves for an epic battle.(via Esquire)

Expect Tiger Woods to talk a lot, say little in ESPN interview

Expect Tiger Woods to talk a lot, say little in ESPN interview

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 21, 2010

The Associated Press is reporting that ESPN will air an interview with Tiger Woods tonight at 7:00 P.M. Eastern. Tom Rinaldi will reportedly be handling the interview for the World Wide Leader.No further details about the interview are available, but don't expect any salacious new information coming from Woods. This will probably be as sanitised for his protection as the Bob Costas interview with Mark McGwire was. You'll have to wait for the next batch of Woods' illicit text messages to pop up online for that.(via boston.com)

The other obvious Kansas joke...

The other obvious Kansas joke...

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 20, 2010

Yeah, I had to go there.

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